back to article Elon Musk's Neuralink probed over pathogen transport

Neuralink, the Musk-founded brain implant company that's no stranger to controversy, is in hot water again, this time over allegations it may have illegally transported implants removed from deceased animals and infected with dangerous pathogens.  This latest set of allegations rests on claims from the Physician's Committee of …

  1. gbchew

    So does these count as "renewed", "refurbished", or "preowned"?

    Please respond quickly, I need to get these ebay listings posted before my neuralink+ trial subscription runs out and my limbic system bricks itself.

    1. Michael Wojcik Silver badge

      Shouldn't have gone for the Self-Driving option.

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    isn't monkey brains a delicacy in some countries?

    1. 45RPM

      Only when they’re chilled.

      Interesting fact - monkey brains, even when chilled and digested, still retain a higher IQ than Elon Musk.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        How do you get a money to relax when you're going to eat it's brains?

        1. Michael Wojcik Silver badge

          Start with the amygdala.

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Will this spawn a new theory about how the pandemic started?

    1. Fruit and Nutcase Silver badge

      Twitter may well be the platform to facilitate its spread

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    It is going to be OK. After all Elon is a well known stickler for following the rules and guidance provided by government regulators, and would never expose the public to any new untested technology ...

    I'm kidding. We are all going to get a new cross species brain disease that leaves us paralyzed in a hospital bed. But at least we we will be able to play computer games with just our minds.

    1. yetanotheraoc Silver badge

      computer games

      I was never this good at Donkey Kong before.

      1. iron Silver badge

        Re: computer games

        Billy Mitchell is that you?

    2. Kane
      Joke

      "But at least we we will be able to play computer games with just our minds."

      I frequently do, it's just these pesky hands and arms seem to get in the way.

      1. Jimmy2Cows Silver badge
        Coat

        Re: pesky hands and arms seem to get in the way

        That's ok, they're just the telekinetic interfacing layer between your mind the game controller.

    3. tmTM

      Elon is a well known stickler for following the rules

      The tech sector approach is particularly dangerous in the world of medical research.

      Theranos proved that quite aptly.

  5. Fruit and Nutcase Silver badge
    Coat

    Self Testing

    With Musk performing tests using his personal Twitter account in order to ascertain Twitter behaviour, can we look forward to the day he takes an equally hands on[connected brain] approach to sorting out problems at Neuralink.

    At the moment though he is totally preoccupied with Twitter to care about his other ventures

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Self Testing

      He'll be transplanting those mice brains into his cars next... Organic Self Driving only $50,000 a year.

      The new king of grifters and snake oil salesdroids

      Let Twitter die right now and the world will say thank you. Go on elon, you can do it.

    2. zuckzuckgo

      Re: Self Testing

      > takes an equally hands on[connected brain] approach to sorting out problems at Neuralink

      He will have it installed just before boarding Starship on its first trip to Mars. After all, have to keep the mind busy while strapped to a chair for 9 months.

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Self Testing

      Didn’t he already implant a baby into one of the company’s execs?

  6. Winkypop Silver badge
    Alert

    Self driving monkey brains

    Infection subscriptions now available

    1. Fruit and Nutcase Silver badge
      Joke

      Re: Self driving monkey brains

      Don't give him ideas. Tesla driven by a Monkey.

      Or, should that be, Tesla, led by a Monkey

      1. M.V. Lipvig Silver badge

        Re: Self driving monkey brains

        So no more running over emergency vehicles and small children, instead going after anyone eating fruit outside?

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Move fast, break things, create novel brain-eating diseases

  8. Arthur the cat Silver badge

    Unusual amounts for fines

    civil penalties of up to $96,624 … minimum penalty of $582

    Did these start off as round numbers and get boosted for inflation or something?

    1. chivo243 Silver badge
      Coat

      Re: Unusual amounts for fines

      civil penalties of up to $96,624 … minimum penalty of $582

      Did these start off as round numbers and get boosted for inflation or something?

      I do believe these are the calculations of the great American Random Number Generator Fine determiner... Much like the random prison sentence number generator...

  9. Christoph

    I'm not clear here - why are implants removed from dead animals so much more dangerous than the vast amounts of dead animals used for food?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Why?

      Are you a youngster or something? Have you forgotten about BSE?

    2. Muscleguy

      Because with careful exceptions which do not include brains when we eat animals we cook or at least cure them which kills pathogens.

      Heating and curing denature proteins, the ones we want to eat (tender, tasty) and on the way those of microorganisms as well.

  10. Hooda Thunkett

    Why would this be reported to the Department of Transportation instead of the FDA, or Ag Department or...Oh! Would this explain why Tesla's ram into concrete barriers and emergency vehicles? Are they trying to end the suffering of the "Full Self Drive" units?

    1. IGotOut Silver badge

      Because they are being transported illegally perhaps?

  11. GW7
    FAIL

    Animal brain implants = cruelty

    I just don't get how these stories about Elon Muck's Neuralink program don't get slammed for the utter cruelty inflicted on the poor subjects of the research. No sentient creature voluntarily submits to having wires shoved into it's brain. Neuralink is an abomination. The alleged fact that transportation laws are being broken misses the real fact that the elephant in the room is being tortured. How is can THAT be legal?

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