back to article Texts from your dog and brain-free astronomy: The best of the rest from CES

It wouldn't be CES without the introduction of gadgets that no one asked for. The Register has already taken a look at odd CES gizmos this year, but those selections were hardly the only head-scratching hardware to show up in Las Vegas. Even electric cars – a big feature at this year's show – got in on the usual CES weirdness …

  1. UCAP Silver badge

    Text messages from your dogs ...

    Any messages from my two dogs (1 lab, the other a rescue lab x) will be along the lines of "are you sure its not dinner time"

    1. Fred Daggy Silver badge
      Pint

      Re: Text messages from your dogs ...

      Its actually a machine to allow the Dog to train you. Press a button and you dispense treats. Press this button and time for walkies. Yes another and time "to see a man about a horse". If you respond in a timely manner and according to the correct button, the dog will make a big fuss over your as a reward.

      1. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

        Re: Text messages from your dogs ...

        We've got claw scratches in the plaster at light switch level.

        Our Labrador worked out that we turn on the outside light switch when we go for walkies ∴ pressing the light switch is what causes walkies.

        1. Simple Rick

          Re: Text messages from your dogs ...

          That is very cute

    2. Fruit and Nutcase Silver badge
      Alert

      Can I have a P Please Bob

      Says a text from the pooch.

      The interlocking FluentPet tiles/The Blockbusters board...

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NWhVz7W4n68

  2. DJO Silver badge

    Colour changing cars

    Love this, all you have to do is press a button, then fill in your V5C, send it to DVLA at Swansea and wait 2 to 4 weeks for the updated log book then report the change to your insurance company.

    So convenient - a real game changer

    1. Arthur the cat Silver badge

      Re: Colour changing cars

      But think of the advantages for old fashioned bank robbers(*) – what colour was the getaway car? Green, officer. Blue car passes by, occupants chortling.

      (*) Are there any left, or have they all been replaced by online scammers?

  3. Neil Barnes Silver badge

    low-energy radar sensors embedded within the reader measure multiple variables

    Do your balls hang low?

    Can you swing'em to and fro?

    1. zuckzuckgo

      Re: low-energy radar sensors embedded within the reader measure multiple variables

      This company risks becoming a registered sex offender. Like this 8 year old product:

      Smart Pipe [adult swim]

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DJklHwoYgBQ

      You too can become a internet effluencer.

      1. An_Old_Dog Silver badge
        Pint

        Urine Trouble Now

        So ... to whom is all that (allegedly-) personally-identifiable health data being sold off to?

        (Icon because you need to supply your bladder for the device to work...)

    2. Montreal Sean

      Re: low-energy radar sensors embedded within the reader measure multiple variables

      Just don't try tying them in a knot...

    3. FatGerman

      Re: low-energy radar sensors embedded within the reader measure multiple variables

      I was more concerned by "urine stream signature". Mind you, if they ever need biometric ID at Wetherspoons it'd be something even the regulars could understand.

      1. Montreal Sean

        Re: low-energy radar sensors embedded within the reader measure multiple variables

        I've got pretty good aim, but I'm not sure I could sign my name in urine...at least not on that small a target.

      2. Fruit and Nutcase Silver badge
        Alert

        Re: low-energy radar sensors embedded within the reader measure multiple variables

        PassPissport Control

  4. Giles C Silver badge

    I keep thinking of getting an automated telescope mount but I would want one with an eyepiece so it didn’t rely on a bit of tech to get the views, but then in the east of England it is often cloudy for days on end so it would just sit there not getting used (nearest dark sky site is at least 30 minutes away.

    So not for me I’m afraid although it does look nice they could put an eyepiece mount on it.

    1. AnotherName
      Facepalm

      If it's internet connected to identify what it says it is seeing, how do you even know that the images are from your telescope? It could just be a very expensive way of showing you pictures that have already been taken and stored on the net.

      Poked in the eye by an eyepiece icon --->

      1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

        I was thinking along similar lines. How is this better than just looking at something like KStars or anything better than that? I think some of the "pro" star gazing apps use photos or photo-realistic imagery so it doesn't even matter if it's cloudy :-)

        At least with an eyepiece you get an actual feeling of looking at something "for real", not just an image on a phone/tablet/leptop screen. I think the target market must be those people that go to pop/rock concerts or other special events and spend the whole time "watching" through a phone screen so they can have their own personal recording of the event (and proof they were really there)

        1. werdsmith Silver badge

          I think it’s for taking photos.

          I must admit I have a CCD eyepiece and a goto mount, and a carefully fettled Raspberry Pi so I can observe indoors on a 65 inch TV. Because the clearest nights are the coldest nights. Loads of people use setups like this, the idea is far from new. You can share near live images on the web. It’s not like astronomers are lesser astronomers because they book an observation from a robotic telescope on a mountain top in Tenerife or South America and collect their image next morning.

          But Saturn just looks the same as the first time you saw it, and Jupiter, changes a bit and its Galilean satellites move about. Mars is very consistent . Nebulae don’t change much. Galaxies are fairly inert. The real variables are the observation conditions and the opportunities plus the occasional cometary visitor.

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    So many solutions...

    ...so few problems

  6. Zenubi

    Chopping (what?)

    Just what you want on a chopping board where you are using very sharp knives - a distraction.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Chopping (what?)

      I'm assuming that if it is the "peleton of chopping boards" then you get to prepare your meals while a woman in California is shouting "faster, chop those onions faster ... I know you can do it ... let's get them really finely sliced today" at you.

      1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

        Re: Chopping (what?)

        Or a group of "lycra louts" screaming through your kitchen just as the knife gets a bit close to you fingers.

        (My first thought on hearing the word "peloton" is the cycling term, not the brand name, even though I have little interest in either :-))

  7. tiggity Silver badge

    Telescope with no viewfinder

    There's been computer software for telescopes with motorized mounts for a long time, some of which do auto position tracking over time, - unclear from blurb if its much better than some existing stuff...

    Have seen plenty of scopes primarily designed for use with cameras etc. and so unless you swap out the camera you don't have a "human eye" hi mag view, again unclear from pics if possible to add on a camera or human viewfinder... Don't like the smooth look of it as seems no obvious point to add a low mag "finderscope" that you often use manually when selecting what you see (though if their idea is automatic everything maybe its deliberate).

    As my scopes are old and basic (& am happy with that) I will never know as not the sort of thing I would buy (just a hobbyist, have some friends with pricey & complex kit, but with the vagaries of UK weather & family commitments I'm very much an occasional fair weather observer so cheap & cheerful manual kit for me (no motorized mounts etc.))

    1. Neil Barnes Silver badge

      Re: Telescope with no viewfinder

      If the sun ain't shining, my scope (cheap and cheerful, but it autolocates and then points and tracks itself) stays in the cellar.

      Er, you know what I mean.

      1. that one in the corner Silver badge

        Re: Telescope with no viewfinder

        Ah, you are a sensible Solar observer?

        Far more comfortable way to practise the hobby (just remember to wear a hat!).

        Although it does have disadvantages. The filters are expensive and the equivalent to running a Messier Marathon is a bit boring "Target 1: got it! Finished!".

    2. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

      Re: Telescope with no viewfinder

      "cheap & cheerful manual kit for me (no motorized mounts etc.))"

      I remember circuits for motor controllers in electronics magazines many years ago, probably ETI. I never really thought much about it or even why one would really be necessary until one time there was a lunar eclipse, the sky was clear, it was a warm summer night and I had my camcorder on a tripod (for cheap tape based camcorder, it has a remarkably powerful optical zoom!). I had to keep checking and adjusting the camera because on full zoom I could actually see the Moon moving across the field of view. Something I really knew about intellectually but had never seen or noticed in practice before that night.

    3. that one in the corner Silver badge

      Re: Telescope with no viewfinder

      Unless they had a massive change of heart from the previous version and their Kickstarter project, this telescope is very deliberately computerised only and digital camera only. No human eye involved - a simple Newtonian reflector, it doesn't even have a secondary mirror for an eyepiece - and no finder scope attachment.

      Thunderfoot did a video review of the previous model - others did too but for a product like this his busting style fits well! Long and short: you can get better optics and automated mount, plus a camera, for a lot less (even this lower priced model). But then you have to learn how to use it and risk getting a new hobby.

      The Unistellar does have some advantages from its design, because it doesn't support making any changes to the optics (like different eyepieces): it can be pre-focussed for the unchanging focal plane and can always use video star tracking to provide alignment correction. But whether that is worth the cost is debatable (software for all the functions - autoguide, tracking correction, stacking - has been around for ages)

  8. DS999 Silver badge
    Facepalm

    A $699 cutting board with a screen

    Or a regular cutting board for less than a tenth of the price, and an iPad for less than half the price. Decisions decisions!

  9. Fruit and Nutcase Silver badge
    Coat

    CES

    Crap Electronics Show

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