back to article World's richest man posts memes as $44b Twitter acquisition veers off course

Twitter chaos continued overnight as employees were locked out of its offices following reports that hundreds have chosen to opt out of the ultimatum set by CEO Elon Musk to become "extremely hardcore." Just days since Musk appeared to ban working from home, Twitter has informed staff that the company's office buildings will …

  1. ComputerSays_noAbsolutelyNo Silver badge
    Joke

    Catch-22

    Working from home is banned - if you don't show up, you're fired.

    Also, all offices are closed.

    ... touch luck.

    1. Rameses Niblick the Third Kerplunk Kerplunk Whoops Where's My Thribble?

      Re: Catch-22

      This was my reaction as well.

      Maybe they are trying to gently get people accustomed to the idea that Twitters offices will be closed permanently, and not in the good* WFH way.

      *ymmv

      1. bazza Silver badge

        Re: Catch-22

        Same reaction here.

        I started trying to rationalise it, but 5 seconds in the non-maskable "It's Musk" interrupt got raised and the ISR cancelled that cogitation.

    2. UCAP Silver badge

      Re: Catch-22

      Well there are unlikely to be many people left who need access to Twitter's office. By my calculation the staff count could have dropped to less than 1,000 employees. I guess that includes vital people such as the cleaners and Musk's personal boot lickers.

      1. Pascal Monett Silver badge

        By my calculation, it just has.

      2. Someone Else Silver badge
        Windows

        Re: Catch-22

        OK, so a company that had some 7500 employees now has... le'ssee...<clicking calculator> 925. That would include the fatasses, I supposes. Can you even run Twatter on that?

        If not...Hooray!

        1. kat_bg

          Re: Catch-22

          To a certain degree, most likely

          1. Blank Reg

            Re: Catch-22

            But for how long? There will likely be issues popping up soon that are essentially unsolvable by the remaining staff as the required knowledge has left the building

            1. MachDiamond Silver badge

              Re: Catch-22

              "There will likely be issues popping up soon that are essentially unsolvable by the remaining staff as the required knowledge has left the building"

              Good employers know that every time a staff member leaves, they also lose a certain amount of institutional knowledge. When I was in aerospace I noticed that projects that didn't work out were often less documented than the projects that went forward. If nobody around is left that remembers those duds, the company could be doomed to repeat them several times if they haven't done a good job maintaining an engineering journal.

              I expect that Elon is going to be ordering more "all hands on deck" notices to solve issues that used to be able to be handled by any one of a few people during normal working hours.

        2. DS999 Silver badge

          Re: Catch-22

          Depends on which 925 they are, and what goes wrong in the next few weeks. Reports are that multiple ENTIRE TEAMS made a mutual decision to all resign together. If something breaks in their area of expertise, who is going to fix it?

          I'm sure some of the leftbehinds on other teams could figure it out eventually, but how long will Twitter be down (or worse be up but not working right in a way that compromises security, privacy, etc.) while they get up to speed, try a few fixes until they get it right, etc. How many Twitter users will call it a day during that period and never come back?

          I think there's a better than even chance Twitter will be permanently done before the end of the year.

          1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

            Re: Catch-22

            "I think there's a better than even chance Twitter will be permanently done before the end of the year."

            This! Although I do think you are being remarkably optimistic :-)

            1. Filippo Silver badge

              Re: Catch-22

              Wait, in this case, "optimistic" means that he's overestimating the chance, or underestimating it?

          2. Christoph

            Re: Catch-22

            "I think there's a better than even chance Twitter will be permanently done before the end of the year."

            I think there's a good chance it won't outlast a lettuce.

        3. Strahd Ivarius Silver badge

          Re: Catch-22

          yes, you can run it...

          ... in the ground.

          But EM being hardcore, it may end in the underground.

        4. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

          Re: Catch-22

          "That would include the fatasses, I supposes. Can you even run Twatter on that?"

          If you render down the fatasses [sic] and use the resultant fats as fuel in the generators, then yes, for a while.

          Musk (in the bowels of Twitter HQ): "Keep shovelling the lard boys, we need to keep the servers powered!. More fat! Get me more fat!!"

        5. MachDiamond Silver badge

          Re: Catch-22

          "OK, so a company that had some 7500 employees now has... le'ssee...<clicking calculator> 925. That would include the fatasses, I supposes. Can you even run Twatter on that?"

          If you divide revenue by the 925 remaining employees, you'd blow the roof off of that common evaluation metric.

          I'm in the camp of that not being enough people to operate a business of that size and complexity.

    3. Vometia has insomnia. Again. Silver badge

      Re: Catch-22

      More genius from Space Karen. What will he dream up next?

      1. MiguelC Silver badge
        Pint

        Re: Catch-22

        Damn! You beat me to it!

        Have one!

        1. LogicGate Silver badge

          Re: Catch-22

          It is sad.

          I do have some baseline sympaty for Mr. Musk. SpaceX is an amazing achievement, which I suspect will be important to the future of mankind.

          When I had to choose a career, space was not an option because nothing was happening. I ended up in aero in stead. If I were in the same position now, I might have gone SpaceX, knowing fully well about the working conditions and expecting assholery from the top (sadly many that achieve a lot have asshole tendencies, there may be more than coirrelation at play).

          However, there is the whole pedo-guy thing.. and the tweets.. and the acceptance of trumpism...

          Sometimes I suspect an uncontrolled self-destructive bipolar condition. I almost pity him

          And then there is the possibility that Twitter disappears, never to return. Which in itself would be a boon for mankind...

          Just a pity that there will not be enough cash left to do a repeat on faecebook / meta.....

          It is difficult. If he is simply a horrible man-child, then I can chuckle in glee.. If it is medical, then I hope that he will start taking his meds again.

          ..and hope that SpaceX survives.

          1. Plest Silver badge
            Facepalm

            Re: Catch-22

            Sorry, but I don't see it.

            Musk is a man-child, a brat who needs to grow up and learn to respect people rather than ordering everyone on planet Earth do what he says or thinks. SpaceX, technically sure is an achievement but that's in spite of Musk and that's as usual the hard work of the tech teams, still just another "billionaire space penis joy ride".

            The quicker everyone finally sees Musk for what he really is the quicker he can bugger off to obscurity and get on play with his £80k a pop toy gokart company and his space penis joy rider.

            1. LogicGate Silver badge

              Re: Catch-22

              That is where I beg to differ.

              SpaceX can not be compared to blue origin or virgin.

              And SpaceX is only where it is because Elon bet EVERYTHING on getting into orbit, and then doubled down and bet everything on reuseability, and then doubled down and bet on stainless steel spaceships.. and on starlink and and and.....

              Starting out with trying to buy a used ICBM and ending up with SpaceX is not something that happened despite of Elon. It happened because of him.. for which I am prepared to accept but not overlook SOME assholery.

              1. kat_bg

                Re: Catch-22

                He bet everything. True. However, nice goverment contracts did help along the way.

              2. Andy 73 Silver badge

                Re: Catch-22

                By all accounts, SpaceX have not dramatically cut the cost of launches, at least for government clients.

                So - far from "betting everything", he effectively captured the government contracts and used those to pay for fantasy trips to Mars.

              3. MachDiamond Silver badge

                Re: Catch-22

                "and then doubled down and bet on stainless steel spaceships.. and on starlink and"

                The stainless steel test articles mostly blow up or catch on fire (or both). Some people have done the math and don't see how Starlink can earn a net profit. Betting the whole company on each new venture/product is a reckless way to move forward.

          2. Snowy Silver badge

            Re: Catch-22

            If Twitter disappeared something will replace it.

            1. Lon24

              Re: Catch-22

              MTspace?

            2. Strahd Ivarius Silver badge

              Re: Catch-22

              Mastodon

          3. Clarecats

            Re: Catch-22

            "SpaceX is an amazing achievement, which I suspect will be important to the future of mankind."

            Humanity. Thank you for including the other half of the human race.

            1. Baximelter

              Re: Catch-22

              Mankind, and "man" in a general sense, have always referred to all of humanity, of whatever sex.

          4. cmdrklarg

            Re: Catch-22

            *** ..and hope that SpaceX survives. ***

            I suspect it will, as day to day operations is helmed by Gwynne Shotwell, who appears to be very competent at her job.

          5. MachDiamond Silver badge

            Re: Catch-22

            "..and hope that SpaceX survives."

            As a recovering rocket engineer, I'm against you on SpaceX having done anything notable other than landing a rocket on a barge at sea. Just landing a rocket isn't a big deal.

            The big question is whether Elon will survive if Twitter implodes. The Saudi's are seriously invested and so are some very large banks. When billions of dollars are at stake, investors aren't going to turn the other cheek and let bygones be bygones. Even if Elon can remain on dodge, his other enterprises are going to find themselves unable to get banking services and lines of credit might be curtailed and new securitization policies put in place. Having that new long range Gulfstream 700 might come in handy.

        2. Vometia has insomnia. Again. Silver badge

          Re: Catch-22

          Thank you! I must admit I was surprised that it was there for the taking. It's the perfect description of him and I literally laughed my arse off when I first saw it, which is hilarious until you realise you can no longer sit down.

    4. Anonymous Coward Silver badge
      Holmes

      Re: Catch-22

      So sit in the car park and use the WiFi.

    5. Strahd Ivarius Silver badge
      Facepalm

      Re: Catch-22

      and the offices are closed because he fired the guy who was managing access cards...

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Catch-22

        I imagine EM coming to the office:

        Guard: Do you have a pass?

        EM: Yes, but it doesn't work

        Guard: Let us check your identity

        EM: Don"t you know who I am?

        Guard: No, that is the point

  2. Tom Paine
    Unhappy

    Waah

    I've been on plenty on/in online commumities that went south before - Slashdot and Full Disclosure, UMSF,.. but they all withered slowly on the vine, rather than going out with a bang. Today's mass goodbyes, REM filks, Toy Story 3 memes and the like is making me genuinely sad. Truly, you don't jnow what you've got until a gimp aquires it. (Register: please, never ever do that to us. You're the last place standing from the 90s.)

    1. werdsmith Silver badge

      Re: Waah

      Register has already done it.

      1. chivo243 Silver badge
        Windows

        Re: Waah

        Yes, it's been an insidious, and weird transformation. I miss the old Reg, I fear my days of reading columns here may be dwindling. Maybe it's fitting? I've recently left full time IT...

        1. Khaptain Silver badge

          Re: Waah

          Yup, same feeling here, El Reg has been transforming for quite some time now but not in a good way, it's completely losing its objectivity. There were always heavy points of view, but they were on both sides of the arguements/opinions/ point of view. Now it seems as though it has become another echo chamber for the Californian state of mind, and that in my opinion, is as highly negative state of mind.

          I'm glad Elon Musk is making a fool of ex Twitterati, it's time that the tables turned and people became adults again.

          1. Allonymous Coward

            Re: Waah

            I pretty much agree, but - semantic distinction - I would've said it's losing the opinionated subjectivity that used to be its hallmark.

            1. Androgynous Cupboard Silver badge

              Re: Waah

              We had a little too much subjectivity in the Lewis Page era, in my opinion - I'm glad they rowed back, an anti-science technical mag is not a good look.

              1. Vometia has insomnia. Again. Silver badge

                Re: Waah

                Yeah, I found that era pretty hard work. In hindsight I loved the Orlowski era which was probably peak irreverence. I sometimes found him a little too acerbic but later realised he was usually right about stuff, his disdain for Wikipedia being a prime example. I miss seeing the old git around.

                1. Androgynous Cupboard Silver badge

                  Re: Waah

                  Couldn't agree more.

                2. Little Mouse

                  Re: Waah

                  And unfortunately now we're in an era where I challenge you to name more than one current journo. And even if you can, how many of those do you jump straight to when they've published something new?

                  1. Morten Bjoernsvik

                    Re: Waah

                    I loved Dabbs, every friday he had something great. but nothing for 3months:

                    https://www.theregister.com/Author/Alistair-Dabbs

                    1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

                      Re: Waah

                      He's still publish the equivalent of SFTW, but not always every week at https://autosaveisforwimps.substack.com/

                3. eldel

                  Re: Waah

                  The decline started when we lost the moderatrix. The current manglement would have a shit fit with that sort of stuff.

                  1. Anonymous Coward
                    Anonymous Coward

                    Re: Waah

                    Lester RIP...

                    1. chivo243 Silver badge
                      Pint

                      Re: Waah

                      We need extra upvotes for special comments like this one ;-} I think the passing of Lester might have triggered the change.

            2. Ian Mason

              Re: Waah

              And the smell of stale cigarette smoke and beer that used to follow Mike and John around. :)

        2. MrDamage

          Re: Waah

          Do what most of us do. Skim the articles, and be pedantic about irrelevant shit in the comments.

    2. Len
      WTF?

      Re: Waah

      Yes, it's surprisingly fast. I remember the 'Summer of Facebook' in 2007 when everyone seemed to move from MySpace to Facebook (at least here in London) but that took probably about two to three months. The Twitter meltdown achieved the same thing in weeks.

      Mastodon hit a new record for sign-ups per hour this morning and I notice it myself too. I left Twitter for Mastodon at the start of this year but in just two weeks it seems everyone I knew on Twitter has now done the same. A friend of mine is a bit of a media personality as a result of his work as a lawyer and he has tens of thousands of followers on Twitter (no, it's not the Secret Barrister, they're already there). I am helping migrate his stuff off Twitter to Mastodon as we speak.

      I struggle to find a comparable event where an online entity went down this fast (offline we've seen things go fast, from Lehman Brothers to Enron) but online communities seem to go under slowly. I read a great thread about the 'Trust Thermocline' and how big names can innovate or evolve with consent but go one step to far and suddenly lose all trust in a very short time. We're sort of speed reading that process with Twitter at the moment.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Waah

        > I struggle to find a comparable event where an online entity went down this fast (offline we've seen things go fast, from Lehman Brothers to Enron) but online communities seem to go under slowly.

        Freenode springs to mind

      2. LogicGate Silver badge

        Re: Waah

        "A friend of mine is a bit of a media personality as a result of his work as a lawyer and he has tens of thousands of followers"

        Lockpicking lawyer?

        https://youtu.be/TRozAbaKs9M

        ( I assume he has a twitter channel as well)

        1. Andy the ex-Brit

          Re: Waah

          My first thoughts were Popehat or Legal Eagle.

          1. keithpeter Silver badge
            Pint

            Re: Waah

            The brummie brief who does the constitutional law stuff?

            1. Little Mouse

              Re: Waah

              "The whistling detective who sits on a barge"?

              The end of Morse was comedy gold.

              1. Strahd Ivarius Silver badge
                Joke

                Re: Waah

                he has been found here, doesn't seem to be worse for the ending...

        2. Len
          Happy

          Re: Waah

          No, it's none of them. I don't know about LegalEagle but Popehat and that Brummie guy who does constitutional law are already on Mastodon. Anyway, it doesn't matter who it is. That's not the point.

          In case anyone is interested in a #TwitterMigration Best Practice, this is what I have so far.

          1) Pick a Mastodon server that you think suits you, either based on interests or on geography, but whatever you do, for the good of the world and yourself, do not choose Mastodon.social as it's already far too full and so permanently slowed down. You won't like it.

          2) Create an account with a name that is identical or similar to what you had on Twitter. At least for the first two months or so also use the same profile image and background image. It helps people from 'the birdsite' easily recognise you on Mastodon.

          3) Run a tool to help you find your Twitter follows on Mastodon. It exports it to a CSV that you import into Mastodon. You'll be surprised how many people you followed on Twitter are already on Masto.

          If you followed many people on Twitter it may make sense to run this tool once a week as more people may have moved since you last used it.

          4) Put your full Mastodon handle in your Twitter Bio. It helps your followers, other people that stumble upon your profile, and most importantly tools such as the one in 3) to find their Twitter follows on Mastodon. If you plan to give up Twitter for good, have a link to your Masto profile as a pinned post for a while before fully closing your account so people can follow you to Mastodon.

          5) Mastodon doesn't have verification schemes or Blue Tick stuff like Twitter. But, you can verify yourself if you have a domain name. By having a rel="me" link to your Masto profile on your website you will get a green bar for the link to your website. That way people know that the person behind the website is the same person as behind the Masto account.

          6) If it turns out that you have chosen the wrong Mastodon server for you, you can always move your profile. Your follows and followers can move with you but your posts cannot. Don't wait months before you move.

          6) If you're looking for a mobile app, avoid the 'official' app. It's too new and still needs some polish. The best app for iOS is probably Metatext, for Android probably Tusky.

          If, after you've created your new Mastodon profile, you are concerned about where Twitter is going you are not the only one. With so much of the security and infrastructure staff gone it's likely that they will be hacked soon. If you had a habit of posting private information in DMs (or are just not comfortable with people having all your tweets in one file), there are automated tools to help you delete stuff on Twitter.

          For EU Citizens there are also guides out there that will walk you through how to submit a GDPR data request but I doubt any of the staff that would deal with those processes is still around. It's going to be two weeks at most before Twitter is in serious legal trouble with the EU: Is Elon Musk’s Twitter about to fall out of the GDPR’s one-stop shop? and EU privacy enforcer puts Elon Musk on notice as Twitter melts down

          1. Flightmode
            Pint

            Re: Waah

            Very nice write-up!

      3. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

        Re: Waah

        The Twitter meltdown achieved the same thing in weeks."

        Just imagine, in a year or so, a newly minted PFY being issued a second hand corporate phone and wondering what that undeleteable Twitter icon is for :-)

    3. Proton_badger

      Re: Waah

      Ooh Slashdot, I have a uid in the 1300's. Dropped visiting when the comments section changed from open minded to intolerant, constipated and mostly just plain ridiculous. A shame really...

      1. Ace2 Silver badge

        Re: Waah

        I wonder what the Natalie Portman-hot grits guy is up to these days.

        1. MrDamage

          Re: Waah

          450lbs. He washes himself with a rag onna stick.

          1. Ace2 Silver badge
            Meh

            Re: Waah

            Downvoted you (with love!) because it’s not dinner time here yet and now I’m not going to be able to eat.

  3. alain williams Silver badge

    I'm going to need more popcorn

    But not too much as this looks like it is going to be the quickest burn of $44b ever!

    1. b0llchit Silver badge
      Alert

      Re: I'm going to need more popcorn

      For the rich it is monopoly money. They don't care the Burn. They love the flames.

      1. Thomas Steven 1

        Re: I'm going to need more popcorn

        I feel like I bought too much popcorn and this shitshow could be over by the end of the month. Probably the fastest bonfire of $44bn in history. The way Twitter is haemorrhaging staff, I honestly can't see how it can continue to exist for much longer.

        1. UCAP Silver badge

          Re: I'm going to need more popcorn

          All it will take is one more inappropriate e-mail/tweat from Musk and everyone left will walk.

          In 5 ... 4 ... 3 ... 2 ...

        2. HereIAmJH Silver badge

          Re: I'm going to need more popcorn

          If you had 44 billion one dollar bills, how big would the pile be? And how long would it take to burn?

          1. doublelayer Silver badge

            Re: I'm going to need more popcorn

            Calculating how long it takes to burn would be difficult as it depends a lot on the shape of the pile, the airflow both at the beginning and as the burning took place, and what if any compounds were used to sustain the flames. I can, however, give you information on the size of the pile.

            If you're really good at stacking, you could try putting each banknote directly atop the previous one, and if you could, the stack would be 4805 km in height. Since this would start messing with satellites before you'd even gotten halfway, let's not do that. If we aim for a cube shape, we can get a more manageable pile that measures 36.65 meters on a side. This still requires you to be pretty good at stacking, because that would have over three hundred thousand layers of bills and my calculations don't allow you to have air between those layers.

            Conveniently for our purposes, the internet claims that a dollar bill weighs basically one gram. Since I was using size measurements that went to the 0.01 mm precision, I'm happy to have easier calculations regarding weight. With a weight of 4.4*10^8 kg, this pile would need quite a lot of oxygen to successfully burn it all. You'd also want to be very careful what you stacked this fortune on, as that's significantly heavier than the average house.

            1. M.V. Lipvig Silver badge

              Re: I'm going to need more popcorn

              Increase the height by 150 percent. That should account for air between the top bills. Weight of the top bills should slowly squeeze the lower bills perfectly flat, ie no air.

              I'll add for reference that I regularly burn a 13 gallon kitchen garbage bag full of paper containing personal information, inside a steel 55 gallon drum. Normally takes a few hours and a lot of stirring to get all the paper reduced to ash. A stack of bills that high, assuming no wind to scatter the cash, would likely take a solid month to burn completely.

              1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

                Re: I'm going to need more popcorn

                "I'll add for reference that I regularly burn a 13 gallon kitchen garbage bag full of paper containing personal information,"

                Wow, that's a lot. Although it does depend on what you mean by "regularly". Most people use it as a synonym for frequently, which I assume you are also doing here. Regularly could mean June 1st every two years, rather than frequently like say, every month or so.

                Do you get a lot of snail-mail spam from banks, insurance and the like with your PII plastered all over it?

            2. jmch Silver badge

              Re: I'm going to need more popcorn

              "the stack would be 4805 km in height."

              4805m surely?

              4,805km = 4,805,000 m = 4,805,000,000 mm, making 1 bill 4.8mm thick

              1. ChrisC Silver badge

                Re: I'm going to need more popcorn

                Check your working, and the starting conditions of the problem - hint, you appear to have forgotten how many bills there are in the stack...

                1. jmch Silver badge
                  Facepalm

                  Re: I'm going to need more popcorn

                  D'oh! 44bln, not 1 !

          2. Sven Coenye
            Happy

            Re: I'm going to need more popcorn

            Those are excellent questions for XKCD whatif #3!

      2. Felonmarmer

        Monopoly Money

        Yep, and the $44B is not all his either. He paid about half and that would have been his Tesla monopoly money, $22B. About $17B was in high interest loans which is costing Twitter $1B per year compared to $50M per year before Elon took over.

        The rest was investors, so $5B, which may or may not have been monopoly, but it is now.

        Twitter made about $600M per year after costs, and had about $6B cash reserves, so half of that is Elons now. Theres probably another $6B or so in other assets.

        So he will have swapped $22B Tesla for $6B real money.

        1. DJO Silver badge

          Re: Monopoly Money

          ...So he will have swapped $22B Tesla for $6B real money...

          Given the Tesla stock is ridiculously overvalued* that actually might work out an advantage when the inevitable Tesla stock collapse happens.

          * Tesla is not really worth more than the next 8 car makers combined but it's stock is.

          1. M.V. Lipvig Silver badge

            Re: Monopoly Money

            https://www.reuters.com/business/autos-transportation/tesla-mercedes-evs-ranked-worst-annual-reliability-survey-by-consumer-reports-2022-11-15/

            Tesla may be crashing soon. A lot of USian consumers follow Consumer Reports recommendation.

        2. MrDamage

          Re: Monopoly Money

          And then, like Trump, he will claim exceptional losses to the IRS, and thus free himself from any "tax debt" for the next few decades.

          As soon as it became apparent he HAD to buy Twitter, I reckon this was his goal.

          1. deadlockvictim

            Re: Monopoly Money

            I'm not so sure.

            If Twitter goes belly-up (as it seems to be), his credibility as a leader and entrepreneur will be in tatters.

            Can you imagine any billionaire, bank or hedge-fund lending him money for a future investment?

            Hi, please lend me $10B and I'll have it squandered in less than a week on account of arrogant & reckless decison-making.

            There will be no return on your investment.

            1. Strahd Ivarius Silver badge
              Trollface

              Re: Monopoly Money

              well, the same things didn't prevent the Donald to become US president...

              Since EM can't go the same way since born a bloody foreigner, he can still open an account at Deutsche Bank to get funding

      3. iron

        Re: I'm going to need more popcorn

        Elon might care when he remembers where he got some of the money and what they do to people who piss them off.

        He should probably avoid the World Cup and all embassies for a few years.

        1. Strahd Ivarius Silver badge
          Facepalm

          Re: I'm going to need more popcorn

          Where is the Red Queen when you need her?

          1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

            Re: I'm going to need more popcorn

            It's in production right now.

            Not the Red Queen you meant, but an appropriate look to the near future:

            Set in an alternate near-future America, where democracy is replaced by a monarchy and the population is separated into a common-blooded society (known as "Reds") and the powerful elites (or "Silver-blooded")

      4. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

        Re: I'm going to need more popcorn

        I suspect the bottom will drop out of the popcorn market by Tuesday. I'll be selling all my holdings on Monday, probably before the peak, but holding on too long might be a bit risky :-)

      5. jmch Silver badge

        Re: I'm going to need more popcorn

        Even for the richest people in the world, once you're talking billions it's a serious wedge

    2. FIA Silver badge

      Re: I'm going to need more popcorn

      Yup... Whilst I don't hate or love Musk the way some people seem to. (Rich person can be an arsehole isn't that new). It'll be strange if his undoing is simply not realising that people who work for a startup, especially in emerging industries like SpaceX and Tesla were, are a different kind of people who work for a random tech company.

      Twitter may be prominent, but the product isn't exactly (technically) groundbreaking (apart from maybe some scaling issues), people in companies like that, i.e. most companies, don't come to work for the sheer love of doing their jobs, they come to work to earn cash to spend time with their friends and family. A concept that's often lost on the worlds richest, that's one of the ways they get where they do.

      Just hope it doesn't take SpaceX with it, I'd really like to see that big 'ol rocket they're building fly....

      1. Brewster's Angle Grinder Silver badge

        Re: I'm going to need more popcorn

        Does he have any friends to spend time with? Not asking for a friend...

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: I'm going to need more popcorn

          "Does he have any friends to spend time with? Not asking for a friend..."

          If he is quick .... he can buy some ...... or build some of his androids 'real quick' !!!

          :)

      2. Snake Silver badge

        Re: world's richest

        "they come to work to earn cash to spend time with their friends and family. A concept that's often lost on the worlds richest..."

        They have ALWAYS missed this, from the dawn of the Industrial Age. That's because the world's richest greatly benefit from the heavy workloads imposed [on others]...while the workers who actually do the heavy loads only subsist.

        This has been the pattern of labor for the past 150+ years. Some people may not like to admit that, saying that even speaking of such is "socialist", but to believe otherwise is both hard denialism and ignorance. Books have been written, documentaries created, biographies of the workers penned...even photos taken. Of workers suffering while the bosses prosper from the suffering.

        So bosses will never connect with base-level workers. It hurts their pocketbooks, and World Domination egos, to do so.

        1. Twanky
          Trollface

          Re: world's richest

          Books have been written, documentaries created, biographies of the workers penned...even photos taken.

          So it must be true then?

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: world's richest

            "Books have been written, documentaries created, biographies of the workers penned...even photos taken.

            So it must be true then?"

            Quite possibly truer than making up 'Facts' [ A la 'Trump' & co] ...... unless someone has been very busy creating all the 'False' evidence. !!!

            :)

            1. Twanky
              Go

              Re: world's richest

              Ah. Is that a reference to 'Truth Social'? It's name is 100% lie. Neither Truth nor Social.

              Unlike 'People's Democratic Republic of Korea' which is 75% lie or 'People's Republic of China' which is only 66% lie.

              Seriously:

              1) The existence of a book or documentary (the latter often involves taking -moving- pictures) does not make the subject matter 'true'. There are many documentaries which have been made to fit an agenda. I hope you wouldn't sit down to watch pro-Nazi propaganda (neither would I except to rubbish it); its existence does not make the subject matter true.

              2) You're surprised that people who have been ruthless enough to get richer than most others don't have their worker's interests as their first priority? Really?

              3) Very rarely we get people who inherit great wealth and give it all away. History does not celebrate most of these people. The most famous philanthropists kept quite a lot for themselves. On the other hand, sometimes we get people who waste away their inheritance - they're not considered heroes but they're often remembered.

              What of Elon? In my opinion he's got an over inflated opinion of his own importance but the fact that he looks like he's destroyed trust in Twitter is a great thing - but I wish he'd done something a bit more useful with $44bn.

              The people who have lost their jobs have a little sympathy from me - but only a little, their work was keeping the Twitter monster alive. I do not think it's a good thing that powerful politicians of any stripe or nationality with or without a sleep deficit should be helped to rally a riot.

              1. Diogenes

                Re: world's richest

                Unlike 'People's Democratic Republic of Korea' which is 75% lie

                Its obvious you haven't read Marx, or Lenin or Rosa Luxembourg, or even the toothbrush moustached one(he said he was a socialist often enough, and there is evidence he was a communist in 1919/1920, so I will take him at his word). Socialists have their own particular definition of "Democracy" which is purer form of government - what we would consider democracy is dismissed as mere "Parliamentarianism".

        2. MachDiamond Silver badge

          Re: world's richest

          "Of workers suffering while the bosses prosper from the suffering."

          I've noticed that some suffering is self-inflicted. I stay away from services that auto-bill my account every month for things that I really don't need. The price difference between a cuppa at home or at the local take-away is more than an order of magnitude. People will keep buying a new car every time they've paid off their last one and have it loaded down with useless high margin options.

          A big part of the problem is that life skills aren't taught in school. It wouldn't be as huge of a problem if parents hadn't abdicated their responsibility to teach their children the things they need to know. There's a pervasive culture of not talking about money and family finances with children that needs to be abolished. I know it wasn't discussed very much in my home and it could have helped me if it was.

          I was thinking about things that schools fail to teach after watching a monologue by Neil Oliver on GBN today. I disagree with his advocating people not paying their bills en masse, but he illustrated his talk with an example of a rent strike in the early 1900's due to landlords raising rents during the war. Nobody taught me how to evaluate the lease agreement for a flat when I left home at 18. It would have been good to know that contracts can be negotiated and that one needs to look for the most egregious clauses that will bite your ass at some point. The one in particular that affected the people not paying their rent was no cap on annual increases. I learned about that around my 3rd rental property after it bit me. From then on I'd never sign a contract that had more than a 5% increase maximum.

      3. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: I'm going to need more popcorn

        >Twitter may be prominent, but the product isn't exactly (technically) groundbreaking...

        This is a complete misreading of what Twitter does and how it is perceived by the market. It's a top-tier tech firm that has salaries and projects to match, with a unique position as the global aggregator for news and social shouting for the anglosphere and most of the western world. This isn't some regional widget maker full of lifers clocking on for 10h a day.

        This isn't a startup vs established player thing either. This is a matter of people deciding they don't want to work for a fucking buffoon with no idea what he's doing at the company and absolutely no manners, human decency or, apparently, a soul. They're being asked to commit to a company with no idea what their compensation plan would look like, or what they'd even be doing. Just unserious.

        Remember he doesn't actually run SpaceX. Gwynne Shotwell does. Before she came on board the place was a fucking disaster factory. He doesn't actually run Tesla either, with a whole grab-bag of actual functioning adults running the show. The man has no place running companies and anyone with half an ounce of employability will find their lives more peaceful and enriching elsewhere.

        1. Ken Hagan Gold badge

          Re: I'm going to need more popcorn

          Twitter had a unique position, but it didn't own it, so it is replaceable. Who now remembers MySpace?

          1. Not Yb Bronze badge

            Re: I'm going to need more popcorn

            Most of the people on Twitter have now at least heard of MySpace again

        2. FIA Silver badge

          Re: I'm going to need more popcorn

          This is a complete misreading of what Twitter does and how it is perceived by the market. It's a top-tier tech firm that has salaries and projects to match, with a unique position as the global aggregator for news and social shouting for the anglosphere and most of the western world. This isn't some regional widget maker full of lifers clocking on for 10h a day.

          This is true.

          But as a product, from a technical point, not that impressive. Therefore as an engineer I can get similar technical challenges elsewhere, and the only benefit I get from working extra long days are tweets, not getting humans to mars, or furthering development of new battery technologies.

          Most people will need a significant incentive to accept those kind of conditions, especially if they're suddenly forced upon them, 'top-tier tech firm' or not.

          Put it another way, I've worked with many talented developers over the years, I could probably put together a team capable of creating Twitter (the platform) without much effort. I would struggle to put together a team of rocket scientists.

          There are also a lot more opportunities for talented tech professionals than there are rocket scientists which acts as a further disincentive to put up with poor working conditions.

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: I'm going to need more popcorn

            >But as a product, from a technical point, not that impressive.

            Give over. It's the third or fourth most-visited site on the planet. It has hundreds of millions of active users, the best part of a billion posts per day, many billions of searches per day, billions of embedded views, probably tens of billions of ad impressions, fuck knows how many video-minutes and all of that done in near-realtime across the full spectrum of devices, geographies, languages and jurisdictions.

            What, exactly, would be impressive to you? From a technical point, naturally.

            If you're in this business, Twitter is almost unique. Only Amazon, Facebook, Google and Instagram play with those kinds of numbers. None of them have a serious social role to play.

            1. ChoHag Silver badge

              Re: I'm going to need more popcorn

              It's impressive that twitter managed to find a way to employ 7000 people to run IRC.

          2. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

            Re: I'm going to need more popcorn

            "I could probably put together a team capable of creating Twitter (the platform) without much effort."

            The clever bit about Twitter was the initial idea. A way of aggregating SMS messages into a social network so anyone with a mobile phone could join in. Everything else is just added icing on the idea.

            Often, seemingly obvious ideas just needs someone to actually pick it up and develop it. Once it's been picked, lots of people than say, oh I could have done that.

            I remember thinking about Doom many years ago and wondering if I could do something similar with photos and a map of the local town shopping centre where people could virtually walk around, click on a shop and enter their website (few actually had websites then so I'd also be offering them site building too.)

            I didn't really have the time, skills or money to do anything with it and few years later things like Multimap, Google Maps, Google Earth and Google Streetview came along :-)

    3. Julian 8

      Re: I'm going to need more popcorn

      Nah, Liz Truss was far better

      1. Natalie Gritpants Jr

        Re: I'm going to need more popcorn

        Took Quasi Kwarteng about half an hour to create a £50e9 hole in our economy

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: I'm going to need more popcorn

          And about the same for Jeremy Hunt to do it to our taxes.

          1. Androgynous Cupboard Silver badge

            Re: I'm going to need more popcorn

            Someones got to pay for this mess. And damn your eyes for making me defend Hunt. I feel dirty.

            1. Strahd Ivarius Silver badge
              Coat

              Re: I'm going to need more popcorn

              Since he raised the taxes on the rich, he can be now defined a Socialist.

              His last declarations can be titled as:

              ( •_•)>⌐■-■

              The Hunt for Red November

              (⌐■_■)

            2. ITMA Silver badge
              Devil

              Re: I'm going to need more popcorn

              Be civil now... Call the right honourable gentleman by his first name... "Warwick"

        2. Twanky
          Facepalm

          Re: I'm going to need more popcorn

          No. The hole is there mostly because of 2020/21. Liz Truss and Kwasi Kwarteng stupidly decided they could ignore it and borrow enough to get the country out of recession. Not too surprisingly the market didn't have the capacity to buy ever more bonds - it was already bloated trying to absorb bonds from every rich country in the world.

          <Homer Simpson voice>That's a problem for future Homer. Man, I don't envy that guy.</Homer Simpson voice>

  4. b0llchit Silver badge
    Facepalm

    However, many still have access to their systems.

    Maybe the ones responsible for locking people out were fired earlier or do not which to become "extreme" employees and are now implicitly fired.

    1. Flocke Kroes Silver badge

      Both deliberate and accidental

      According to rumour, Elon was terrified that disgruntled employees would sabotage the company. I think he deliberately locked everyone out but did not expect that everyone able to let people back in would be leaving. It also looks like the people who would disable computer access to the leavers also left so the leavers still have access to their company accounts.

      Normally I would say sabotaging an employer on your way out is a really stupid career ending move. This time Elon's paranoia could be partially justified. I expect that many of the skilled purge survivors are in the US on H-1B visas. In theory they can leave work and if they get another job and get the proper paperwork sorted within three months they can stay. The waiting list on getting the forms reviewed is currently over three months. Any H-1B leaving or fired from Twitter is going back to a country they worked really hard to leave. The cost of staying could involve signing documents that say Twitter conforming to court orders and obeying the law - which may now be impossible for Twitter to do with the remaining staff even if Elon wasn't "helping". The consequences of signing defective compliance documents could easily involve a prison sentence but the US government might cheap out by simply cancelling the visa. Given that Twitter H-1Bs' careers are effectively over no matter what and that they will be leaving the country anyway the cost of sabotage just plummeted. Some of them may even be skilled enough to do something more rapidly destructive than Elon is already doing. In their place I would not bother: it would be funnier for Twitter to die entirely from Musk's mismanagement than to give him any outside excuse for the failure.

      1. Plest Silver badge

        Re: Both deliberate and accidental

        Never burn your bridges...

        Life has a nasty habit of kicking you in the "cods" and that boss you didn't along with very well maybe the only lifeline you have to ensure your family isn't sleeping in cardboard city by the end of the month. HR exit interview, "I did my best, had fun and no other comments to make. So long and thanks for all the fish.".

        1. DS999 Silver badge

          Re: Both deliberate and accidental

          I don't think anyone would look poorly on a resume from Twitter's last days even if it became known the person had done a little subtle (not harmful just funny in the sense of pissing off Musk) sabotage on the way out the door. Heck, I'd be MORE likely to hire that person if I found what they did hilarious!

          Actual destructive sabotage is another matter, but probably less due to "burning bridges" and more due to "Musk can afford lawyers to sue you to the ends of the Earth even if what you did isn't legally prosecutable".

          1. Strahd Ivarius Silver badge
            Trollface

            Re: Both deliberate and accidental

            Lock the door when leaving the building and leave the keys in the mailbox (including the key to the box of course)

      2. Roland6 Silver badge

        Re: Both deliberate and accidental

        So if I understand what you are saying, we can expect a very mature Twitter lookalike appear in India etc. and or China...

        Alternaitvely, can we expect a new site to appear - "GitHubLeaks" to which anonymous users have uploaded the complete source to Twitter, void of copyright notices.

        Naturally, with no one left in the company who could verify the code is indeed Twitter property, EM will have problems trying to pursue IP claims

        Perhaps a useful abuse of IT access, would be to hack EM's email account and send the missive "Twitter sourcecode is now opensource with immediate effect"...

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Both deliberate and accidental

          Excellent idea.

          1) Upload Twitter to Github

          2) Wait 2 weeks

          3) Ask copilot to write some code to make a social network

  5. Potemkine! Silver badge
    Pint

    Currently one of the best drama on air

    With several new episodes every day!

    That icon ----> , because the popcorn one isn't available yet.

    == Bring us Dabbsy back! ==

  6. Brewster's Angle Grinder Silver badge
    Facepalm

    "One laid-off staffer was in charge of managing the system which controls badge access to Twitter's buildings. He was called back in to help regain access to HQ by those who had locked themselves out."

    I just made that point as a JOKE in another thread. I didn't realise it had happened for real.

    If they can lock themselves out the building, there's nothing that can't go wrong. Nothing. What was it somebody said about their domain registration...?

    1. Rob 54

      I am pretty sure that was a parody account and senior Twit jumped in on it, but the the reg author is sharing it as news

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Absolutely correct. It was a joke. There's a better-than-evens chance Elon's response was made with tongue similarly firmly planted in cheek.

        1. Brewster's Angle Grinder Silver badge

          Hey, I thought he had his tongue firmly in his cheek when he said he'd buy Twitter...

          But, at this point, if the guy who manages the doors is still there, they're one of the few employees left. They've got a busy day today.

          1. chivo243 Silver badge

            only opening the door for people who leave... I have doubts about any arriving these days.

            1. Ian Mason

              It must be soul destroying to realise that you could be replaced by a victorian turnstile.

          2. ghp

            I'm quite sure his tongue is lodged in some other of his body's parts.

        2. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          re: with tongue similarly firmly planted in cheek.

          Presumably that tongue belongs to someone hardcore! Or did you mean face cheek?

        3. doublelayer Silver badge

          The only problem was that the situation being joked about was rather plausible. At least with the last round of firings, it was Twitter/Musk choosing which people to fire. That didn't mean they knew what they were doing, but at least such a process could have avoided firing anyone who was obviously necessary to the manager suggesting names. This round has employees choosing whether they're staying in the inferno or bailing out, which means that literally anyone, no matter how critical, could have chosen to leave with effectively no notice at all. It wouldn't be surprising if someone required to maintain physical security left. Those making sarcastic jokes sometimes need to judge whether the situation they're lampooning is plausible enough that their joke makes sense as a statement of fact.

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        If it were true I'm sure it wouldn't take long to find an automatic door opener

        AKA a rock, cobble, or brick, to be judiciously applied to your window of choice, leading to the press bar of your choice. Though they may have a few hard rooms and SCIFs that could put up a fight. But whatever you have to pay to break into your own building will probably be more than not 86'ing the guy with the keys in the first place.

    2. MachDiamond Silver badge

      "What was it somebody said about their domain registration...?"

      That reminds me of some articles about companies losing loads of data as the cloud services where it was stored was auto-paid by a credit card of a departed executive and that card had been cancelled. The notifications also went to that executive's email account which was deactivated when they left. I see that as very sloppy management, but it happens frequently.

  7. Snake Silver badge

    Cut him a break

    The world is being far too hard on our man, the inimitable Mr. Musk.

    After all, how many people in the world can take a $44 BILLION ego purchase and erase billions of that value in a mere 2 weeks??

    That takes SKILL.

    1. Skiver

      Re: Cut him a break

      In a now deleted tweet, Musk wrote, paraphrased:

      How do you make a little money (in tech)

      Start with a lot of money

      1. Goat Boy

        Re: Cut him a break

        Sure I remember Branson saying 'The fastest way to become a millionaire is to start as a billionaire and buy an airline'.

        Ahh.. Gotta pity the obsenely rich and their problems, eh?

        1. Insert sadsack pun here

          Re: Cut him a break

          "Sure I remember Branson saying 'The fastest way to become a millionaire is to start as a billionaire and buy an airline'."

          Surprised he didn't recommend defrauding the tax man. It's what propelled Branson on his way.

          https://slate.com/business/2014/05/richard-branson-tax-fraud-how-a-youthful-indiscretion-helped-create-a-billionaire.html

    2. Arthur the cat Silver badge

      Re: Cut him a break

      how many people in the world can take a $44 BILLION ego purchase and erase billions of that value in a mere 2 weeks?

      I saw a calculation this morning saying that if Twitter crashes and burns after a month of Musk he will have burnt $1 million a minute for the entire month. That makes The KLF look like slackers.

      1. Brewster's Angle Grinder Silver badge

        Re: Cut him a break

        It might even outpace Liz Truss and her destruction of value.

        1. Steve Button Silver badge

          Re: Cut him a break

          You mean Rishi? Short memories, but he blew HUNDREDS of Billions on Covid. (did you see the Autumn statement? That's the cleanup bill)

          Liz was amateurish in comparison, although she didn't have as long.

          1. Brewster's Angle Grinder Silver badge

            Re: Cut him a break

            Sunak didn't destroy value. That debt still sits on the UK balance sheet. And the money was given to people and businesses. (Fraudsters, in some instances, but it was still transferred into the economy.)

            Whereas before Truss, ~$122 would have bought around ~£100. The guy making the sale would have booked a few quid profit or a few quid loss from the transaction. (Plus gratuitous profit from fees, obvs.) But at nadir Truss and Kwarteng, you might have sold that back for ~$104. (Those are rough numbers from memory.) You made a loss but nobody booked a corresponding profit. That value was destroyed because everybody decided Sterling was worth less. Ditto gilts, etc...

            In the case of the Chief Twit, we know he overpaid and Twitter's shareholders booked a tidy profit. But Twitter had some value, which he seems intent to eliminate. Somebody will buy it out of administration for a fraction of a fair market price (and will then have to invest to rebuild that value) and the difference in price between the fair market price and the price it's bought out from under Musk will be the value he has destroyed.

          2. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            That math only holds for Truss if...

            her burn rate leveled off, and by a lot. There are strong reasons to believe that would not have dropped to a level tolerable to the general populace. So while her average would have looked better with more time, the country would not have. Best to staunch that kind of gushing arterial wound while there is still some blood in the patient after all. That was the problem with Truss, she wasn't going to stop, it was a freefall ride to the bottom of the elevator shaft with that one.

            Musk seems to be on a similar track at the moment. He, by himself, can't stop what he has set in motion. And on the wrong side of a hyperbolic inflection point, Twitter may not be able to recover from this at all. Doomed to be sliced and diced apart, it's name sold to the highest bidder in bankruptcy court.

    3. Flocke Kroes Silver badge

      Re: Cut him a break

      People have compared Musk's achievement Gerald Ratner. I thought a comparison to Stephen Elop would be more appropriate but Elon beat Stephen by a huge margin.

      1. EVP

        Re: Cut him a break

        Indeed, Elop was money wise an amateur compared to Musk. The real difference is that Musk has a personal stake in the game, but Elop (that M$’s mole) just burned other peoples’ money, and collected bonuses himself. Both destroyed* a large technology company. Musk’s actions are much more entertaining, though. There was nothing funny in the demise of Nokia mobile phones. I judge the game 2-1 to Musk.

        * I think we can use past tense in the case of Twitter too.

    4. MachDiamond Silver badge

      Re: Cut him a break

      "After all, how many people in the world can take a $44 BILLION ego purchase and erase billions of that value in a mere 2 weeks??

      That takes SKILL."

      A friend of mine's ex could do that, no problem. The only impediment would be the card wearing out in those two weeks.

  8. arctic_haze
    Mushroom

    This is a stable genius, indeed

    Just when you think he did all the damage possible to a single human being, he doubles down with no effort. Well done, Elon!

  9. juice

    I'm shocked...

    On the one hand: you can get a lump payout, and then either go find a new job immediately or kick back for the festive season. Hey kids, Daddy's going to be home for Christmas, this year!

    On the other, you could stick around and obey the dictates of a distinctly erratic boss, with a significant risk of being fired at a whim. You'll also lose most if not all of your existing job perks (e.g. working from home) and have to support an effectively abandoned platform, for which you'll be lucky to have things like passwords, source code or support documentation. And not only will overtime be mandatory, but you'll also have to provably work harder.

    It doesn't feel like it'd be that hard a decision to make, if I'm being honest.

    1. Dr Dan Holdsworth
      WTF?

      Re: I'm shocked...

      Quite frankly I'm surprised he has any staff at all working for Twitter.

      His other companies such as Tesla have also had to endure the "hardcore extra-long hours" working thing, and it has brought the workers little except pain and an incredibly high level of workplace injuries which in any civilised country (i.e. not the USA) would have had the factories closed pending a very thorough investigation by the government Health & Safety people.

      You'll notice he has made no mention of actually paying for the increased hours? That too is par for the course with Musk: his workers work very hard and he benefits. No wonder the workers at Twitter have taken the money and run.

      1. Plest Silver badge
        Mushroom

        Re: I'm shocked...

        Sadly it's like the time everyone wanted to work for Facebook or Amazon, they were the places to be until everyone actually realised the reason this billionaires have so much money is that they just treat everyone like shit on their way to the billionaire's club. Long hours, unreasnonable demands all so you can put Facebook or Amazon on your CV. Now the shine is finally coming off Tesla, SpaceX and now Twitter. I'd be embarrassed now if I'd ever worked for one of these jumped up, spoilt arseholes.

        Sorry but I'd rather toil away in some small company where people actually respect me and appreciate the hard work that's being asked, not treat me like just an expendable piece of kit to the thrown out when it's burned out through severe abuse.

        1. ghp

          Re: I'm shocked...

          There's rumour that Bezos wants to distribute all his wealth to charity. Treating his workforce fairly is furthest of his mind.

          1. MachDiamond Silver badge

            Re: I'm shocked...

            "There's rumour that Bezos wants to distribute all his wealth to charity. Treating his workforce fairly is furthest of his mind."

            Jeff is no angel, but he isn't in management anymore other than having a seat on the board. His salary was also quite modest (his total compensation could be something else entirely). It's the stock that's made him the money he has and he's also the (or at least "a") founder of the company and pushed through many years of red ink.

            I see Elon as being much more hands-on when it comes to grinding the faces of the poor employees. I don't seem to recall that he offered to increase salaries to go along with the added work requirements.

    2. iron

      Re: I'm shocked...

      Yeah I'd have been out the door before Elon finished his sentence.

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Also, there is a real question of if those who stay will eventually get stiffed on payroll

      The company is burning down fast enough that I'd be worried about them bouncing my paychecks. The decision seems to be what combination of unemployment, the payout, suing for wrongful termination, or trying to stay on and cash in on the OT before bankruptcy sets in is lest likely to screw you.

      Those that drag their heels will also be fighting for jobs in a market literally flooded with other rats fleeing the Titanic as well, so unless you want to move to a new region, the first rat's out may be the first in line for an interview.

  10. DenTheMan

    Money saving exercise.

    All those idle doodles making fun of Musk will save a few million in severance pay.

    Will be a fruitful weekend I bet.

  11. Phil E Succour

    I wonder if Guinness World Records has a category for "Fastest time for a billionaire to destroy a company"?

    1. Fred Flintstone Gold badge

      It's almost as if he met Gerald Ratner in a pub and after hearing him losing £500M with one remark said "hold my beer"..

      You must admit, he's beaten that record by quite some distance.

      1. Roo
        Windows

        I suspect Elon would have said "Hold my Bong".

  12. b0llchit Silver badge
    Mushroom

    Time scales and Reg units

    How many Truss will it take Musk to kill twitter?

    1. UCAP Silver badge

      Re: Time scales and Reg units

      I cant see him making it to 1.0 Truss.

      Hmmm ... we might need a new measurement of elapsed time - call it an Musk. 1 Musk = 1.45 microTruss.

  13. steviebuk Silver badge

    My name is Elon

    "I purchased Twitter because I believe in freedom of speech. Unless its about Twitter then keep your mouth shut"

    "Thank you for your flexibility. Please continue to comply with company policy by refraining from discussing company information on social media, with the press or elsewhere."

    He's still a dick.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: My name is Elon

      I don't think he bought Twitter to undick himself, if you allow me a moment to butcher the English language.

      I think he bought Twitter because he has become too convinced of himself that he can fix anything, and that has now rather severely bit him in the cojones. Worse, I don't think he'll learn from this - I suspect he shares another attribute with his orange friend in that it'll always be someone else's fault.

      1. J. Cook Silver badge

        Re: My name is Elon

        Yup; the cranial-rectal inversion is a hard thing to correct for someone with no humility.

    2. Spanners
      Facepalm

      Re: My name is Elon

      "I purchased Twitter because I believe in freedom of speech. Unless its about Twitter then keep your mouth shut"

      Why do people from the USA have such poor understandings of "free speech" and "freedom"?

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: My name is Elon

        Because it's kinda hard to talk about "freedom" when you have not abolished slavery, but replaced it with serfdom?

        No wonder Musk feels at home there.

      2. steviebuk Silver badge

        Re: My name is Elon

        Cause I'm not from the USA and typed it wrong. And after 10 mins, there's no cocking edit button. Cocking is another nice bit of English.

  14. Ace2 Silver badge

    Wouldn’t you love to do that face-to-face?

    “I’ll pay you $1M to work insane hours for the next year to make Twitter great again.”

    “But it’ll cost you $44B if it fails. How about we start my comp at $50M for the year?”

  15. Shades

    "One laid-off staffer was in charge of managing the system which controls badge access to Twitter's buildings. He was called back in to help regain access to HQ by those who had locked themselves out. "Thanks for helping out. You're a lifesaver," Musk replied on Twitter."

    I wonder how much "helping out" cost him? hahahaha

    Absolute nozzle.

    1. sabroni Silver badge

      "Thanks for helping out. You're a gullible idiot who will get fuck all for it"

      ftfy

    2. DrSunshine0104

      I am a bit concerned to know how someone who was already laid-off managed to help others back into Twitter's security system. Did Musk lay-off HR and SecOps first thing?

    3. steviebuk Silver badge

      I can't really rib him about the thanking on Twitter rather than in person. As also having social skills issues its probably something I'd do. But then when you're worth several billion, you'd think you'd spend time trying to work on them.

      His next stunt should be doing "Uncover boss @ Twitter".

      "So we work for this dick called Elon, you've probably heard of him. Yeah, he came in after buying the place with a sink, thinking he was fucking funny. He wasn't. Then started firing people left, right and centre yet expects people to work really hard for him. Oh and you have to be in the office tomorrow. We used to work from home but this new dick has decided because he doesn't like working from home, no one else can. Its all well and dandy when you're worth several fucking billion and can afford to pay for someone to drive you in. Or just decide to buy an apartment over the fucking road."

  16. Richard Tobin

    Parody

    "One laid-off staffer was in charge of managing the system which controls badge access to Twitter's buildings. He was called back in to help regain access to HQ by those who had locked themselves out."

    That was a joke.

    1. gryphon

      Re: Parody

      Given that they let people go in the first go round that they then called on the Monday morning with an "oops, could you come back pretty please because we've just worked out we can't run the company without you" how would one know?

      Although no doubt access is hived out to a 3rd party security company.

      1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

        Re: Parody

        "we can't run the company without you"

        Sounds like the beginning of a very fruitful negotiation on the part of the employee. Starting with a 40 hour week and double the pay. Any further hours required must be requested with a no blame option to say no and at proper overtime rates :-)

    2. Strahd Ivarius Silver badge

      Re: Parody

      Do you have proof it was a joke?

  17. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    can't WFH... can't go into the office...

    do homeless shelters have WiFi?

  18. tiggity Silver badge

    popcorn

    Amidst the economic & climate doom & gloom I'm enjoying this Twatter chaos as a bit of distraction, coupled with the Qatar world cup (not watching it on principle, but keeping track of dismal developments e.g. the newly announced ban on beer for spectators in Qatar) - I wonder which of the 2 will be the biggest self inflicted fiasco / disaster and provide the most entertainment.

    Really don't understand how Musk can be such a moron, if the idea is that he mainly dislikes some of the "banned" speech on Twatter, then surely the least painful approach would just be to focus on that whole moderation / suppression side first (or, ideally employ people to do it who don't cause bull in a china shop level of chaos) & leave everything else ticking over for a while untouched.

    The whole going in all guns blazing dismissing people is deranged, it takes a lot of research to discover what people / roles are vital and what are not (& given regulatory regimes a lot of functional areas Musk may think are dross (non cash generating) are actually needed for legal compliance)

    1. Plest Silver badge

      Re: popcorn

      Just like the "wiggy orange messiah" in the USA a few years back or like the Russian army, they only have one method of doing things and it worked once or twice so keep doing it! If you don't change tactics and adapt, sooner or later people get wind of how you work on stuff and then just ignore your or work around you, see Ukranian army for good example of lessons well learned when a nutjob comes knocking and you know their previous form.

    2. First Light

      Re: popcorn

      I'm with you on not watching the World Cup, even though it pains me not to.

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: popcorn

      Soccer without beer? Won't that just show everyone in the stadium that they just spent thousands of dollars to watch a few guys kicking a ball a few hundred linguine away from your seat? Sporting events are a lot less engaging when you're sober.

      Anon, because I know how serious you people take yer futbol.

      1. Strahd Ivarius Silver badge
        Pint

        Re: popcorn

        it was not beer, it was Budweiser.

        Have a real one -->

      2. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

        Re: popcorn

        In the UK, although you can buy a beer at the footy, it's not allowed to be consumed where you can see the match. ie you can go sit (more likely stand) in a bar, which is a bit pointless really since you just paid a lot of cash to get into the ground to watch the match in the first place. Scotland are even more strict. Corporate Hospitality is the only place you can get alcohol. It's been like that for quite a few years now.

  19. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Hang on a minute ..... it all makes sense now ..... how could I have missed it !!!

    I have just had a moment of blinding enlightenment !!!

    I understand Musk's approach to Twitter !!!

    He is going for the 'Destroy the old and Build it anew .... Bigger Better and Profitable !!!' Strategy.

    This is high risk and high cost ... very rarely works BUT appeals to the ego so very much.

    Musk is pitting his ego against the 'Twittersphere' with all its foibles and quirks.

    God took 7 days to create Heaven & Earth ...... Elon is going to try to beat that by re-creating Twitter .... ground up from Zero to Hero .... single-handedly.

    [Knowledge , Skills , Physical Ability be damned !!!]

    All hail Elon .... A new God for the New age of Twitter !!!

    [P.S. Pass me another of the Red Pills ..... Its happening again !!!???]

    :)

    1. HereIAmJH Silver badge

      Re: Hang on a minute ..... it all makes sense now ..... how could I have missed it !!!

      He is going for the 'Destroy the old and Build it anew

      I'm going to run out and register TwitterPhoenix. Every time the plebes get out of control, you just burn it down and start over.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Hang on a minute ..... it all makes sense now ..... how could I have missed it !!!

        "I'm going to run out and register TwitterPhoenix. Every time the plebes get out of control, you just burn it down and start over."

        I am not sure but isn't 'TwitterPhoenix' a character from 'My Little Pony' ???!!!

        :)

  20. Howard Sway Silver badge

    Effective immediately, we are temporarily closing our office buildings

    I'm concerned that there were still lots of staff inside when he announced this. And that the offices will be suspiciously sparkly clean and empty when they reopen on Monday morning. Monitor all the pipes coming into and out of the building, that's all I'm saying.

    1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge
      Thumb Up

      Re: Effective immediately, we are temporarily closing our office buildings

      Soylent Blue?

  21. Twanky
    Go

    $44bn to teach the world...

    Don't let any single organisation/person control your social media.

    1. Ken Hagan Gold badge

      Re: $44bn to teach the world...

      Yeah, but Elon's paying, so the cost to me is only the popcorn.

    2. DS999 Silver badge

      Re: $44bn to teach the world...

      Don't let any single organisation/person control your social media.

      That was never true for anyone, since even if Twitter goes up in flames Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, TikTok, Youtube, etc. remain.

      If someone decided to go exclusively with Twitter as their only social media presence, that's their own choice. They aren't losing their social media because of Musk, they are losing it because they put all their eggs in one basket. Even after it had been splashed on the news for months that someone with a rather unsteady grasp on reality bought that basket.

      1. Twanky
        Facepalm

        Re: $44bn to teach the world...

        Ah. $44bn wasted. The lesson has still not been learned.

        It does not matter whether someone is with one or many 'social' media companies. The fact that Facebook (for example) won't let you see or reply to something on TikTok is the problem. It has resulted in silos controlled by media/advertising companies.

        I was hoping the whole house of cards would collapse along with Twitter.

        1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

          Re: $44bn to teach the world...

          Even when people come up with clever integrated clients, the big boys keep changing things to break them. Remember when there were Instant Messenger clients that tried to work with multiple systems? Constant upgrades to keep up with changes which, prior to the consolidated clients didn't seem to happen often at all.

    3. martinusher Silver badge

      Re: $44bn to teach the world...

      ...that software 'apps' aren't worth the price of the media they're stored on.

  22. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Oh Elon

    You’re done it again!

  23. s. pam
    Flame

    Oxford English Dictionary has a new word

    Hey,

    Muskimatum: An ultimatum that instantly backfires and destroys everything.

  24. Where not exists
    Mushroom

    The Peter Principle at work...

    Somehow, I think that requiring employees to sign a death pact with the new boss is just not the best way to encourage them to stay. Although for those who have decided to just say no, I wonder if they'll ever see their 90 days severance since HR (to my understanding) has already been canned.

    1. Ian Mason
      Pint

      Re: The Peter Principle at work...

      Here, have a refreshing glass of new Musk flavour Kool-Aid.

  25. Grunchy Silver badge

    What “work”

    All the content comes from the customers. The website works right now, if it goes bad just power off / power on. What “work” were all these staff doing?

    Furthermore “hardcore” is a meaningless term, anybody who didn’t chicken out just got easy promotions.

    Which reminds me to apply to work for Twitter., I bet there’s openings.

    1. MachDiamond Silver badge

      Re: What “work”

      "Furthermore “hardcore” is a meaningless term"

      When linked to Elon it means more hours than any significant other will put up with.

      I applied for a job at SpaceX years ago at the McGregor test facility. The posting stated that the position required 50hours per week on site and mandatory overtime as required. I was just hoping to be invited to check the place out. I didn't want to work someplace were overly-tired people are working with highly combustible fuels.

  26. Ashto5

    4D Chess

    Everyone screaming about Elons Twitter play.

    Twitter was losing $4m a day

    Sack all the expensive staff

    Keep all the support people

    No new features but the site keeps up and running.

    Advertisers who are “free speech washing” realise that others are still advertising on Twitter will return and maybe Elon will raise the price ?

    Twitter can be a money making machine and Elon knows it.

    Checkmate.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: 4D Chess

      Twitter was not losing $4m a day before being saddled with $13B of debt by a badly thought LBO

    2. Flocke Kroes Silver badge

      Re: 1D tictactoe

      Everyone's howling with laughter about Elon's Twitter play.

      Twitter now losing $4m a day just from Musk's interest payments

      Sack all the knowledgeable staff

      Keep all the people who have nowhere else to go

      New features withdrawn to avoid litigation. The site keeps up and running until it fails from lack of maintenance.

      Advertisers who are “free speech washing” are staying away. Others are concerned that Twitter no longer retains the institutional knowledge to keep credit card details secure. Elon may want to raise the price but there is no-one left to collect the money even if there was anyone buying.

      Twitter could have been a break even proposition without the new debt but on top of that Musk fell for a bunch of cqnspiracy theories.

      Snap!

  27. arctic_haze

    4D Strip Chess

    The problem is that the expensive staff was most probably the very developers Musk needs for his Twitter 2.0. Yes, he got rid of them. But this is his very problem. Hence no new features.

    Also he is losing now much more than $4m per day and the bleeding does not seem to end any time soon. The advertisers will not return to a platform which no one is moderating and which owner threatens to "name and shame" them in a particularly moronic move. For everybody who is not an Elon fanboy it is obvious this is not going to end well.

  28. Bebu Silver badge

    Friends in unexpected places...

    "There is no longer even a skeleton crew manning the system. It will continue to coast until it runs into something, and then it will stop."

    Occurs to me that the Russians would send in their sysadmins to keep the platform up for the US 2024 elections.

    1. EVP

      Re: Friends in unexpected places...

      Occurs to me that the Russians would send in their sysadmins to keep the platform up for the US 2024 elections.

      With the head of security made redundant, I’m afraid they are already in…

  29. Flocke Kroes Silver badge

    As threatened ...

    Musk has unbanned an ex-president.

    Forgotten your password? Call technical support and hold until a hard-core helldesk operator is hired.

  30. Trotts36

    Pro left content ahead

    Christ guys and gals ; can you at least try to not give yourselves away as disgruntled leftards ??

    1. Flocke Kroes Silver badge

      Re: Pro left content ahead and behind and everywhere but Truth Social

      Being a leftard is not something I am ashamed of. I am mostly gruntled.

      I feel a little sorry for the people who had a good use for Twitter and are now have to set up shop elsewhere. I feel very sorry for the remaining Twitter employees who do not have an acceptable escape route. Apart from that I am thoroughly enjoying the spectacle of Musk burning down his $44B investment through a mixture of incompetence and spending so long amount the alt-right that he thinks alt-news has any connection to reality.

      The only thing a find surprising is how rapidly and thoroughly he is destroying his own dream. Musk has desperately wanted a combined online bank / crypto payment system / social media / news discussion site since he was fired from PayPal (= x.com+confinity) and Thiel sold it for over a billion. After burning the banks hard with leveraged Twitter loans they are not going to lend him money again. He has sold so much Tesla that the remaining shareholders have a chance of putting someone less horrible in charge. If I am really lucky he will be so busy with Twitter that Starship will make some real progress.

  31. Diogenes

    The Babylon Bee is having its revenge

    Search youtube for "Fired Twitter Employee Applies For First Real Job" .

  32. Clarecats

    Elon Musk asked for a general poll on whether to admit Donald Trump to twitter again.

    Great way to cut in half the number of accounts you need to check for Russian trolls and bots.

  33. Jonathon Green
    Devil

    ?

    So, does anybody know whether the doors were open or closed this (Monday) morning?

  34. StrangerHereMyself Silver badge

    Prediction

    I predict Musk's antics will make him tens of billions poorer when Twitter collapses or usage implodes.

    He'll have to bunk up with some friends again, just like he did in the past.

  35. A_Melbourne

    I used to read "The Register" years ago. It seems that it has gone woke. A pity but hardly surprising. The UK is heading for the bottom and this mag is just following the trend.

    1. -v(o.o)v-

      Exactly

      Well said.

      And reporting a parody tweet as news.. LOL

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