Porsche wants to sell you a rusty tailpipe soundbar for $12k What is a Porsche fan to do when sitting on the couch, separated from their beloved ride by the confining walls of home, unable to gaze upon the beauty of the vehicle's… tailpipe? The answer: ogle this $12,000 soundbar with a Porsche 992 GT3 exhaust system strapped to it instead. The specs on the 1.5m (5ft), 65kg (143lb) …
And, like most Germanic motor manufacturers, you will only get the very basic functionality required to fulfill the product description.
So yes, it's a soundbar. Want to control it remotely? That's the SoundBarRemote option at a nice eyewatering price. Want to stream stuff to it? Another optional feature requiring money to unlock.
Meanwhile, the Honda/Toyota/Kia equivalent soundbar is half the price and comes with all the functionality. Optional extras are merely pimping the soundbar, not basic functionality.
This may or may not have been an extended metaphor.
"One born every minute."
Then again there's enough 14 year old millionaires on TikTok who would buy a dog turd on a chain if Ferrari, Porsche or Lamborgini slapped one of their labels on it, so I guess this will probably sell a few units to those with more money than sense.
"One born every minute." The school of Barnumomics. Can I get one installed in my self driving car?
I can only think that Porsche affiliated groups would go for something like this. The sales office of an aftermarket Porsche upgrade shop, parts dealer, body and fender repair company specializing in Porsche.
"You mean it doesn't come with the fumes of 2.7L engine-oil-burning-on-the-exhaust pipe being blown into the cabin by the heater?"
You can replicate the experience by huffing burning $100 bills from an old Oil filter .... or so I am told !!!
:)
[I think the designers of the soundbar may have tried this experience ... you do know what is contaminating 90% of Dollar bills !!! :) ]
I presume that 300W means, "rail-to-rail output swing against a speaker cone moving in the opposite direction during an overvoltage condition, then rounded up to the nearest 100."
And made of thin stamped rusty stainless steel, the rare but preferred material of the very finest speakers, combined with audiophile Bluetooth transport.
Amateurs! Superconducting cable and connectors in a sleeve with liquid helium to keep it nice and chilly - Really it's the inevitable end point for true audiophiles.
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Actually would superconductors work for audio or would the signal bounce around too much and start interfering with itself?
I myself have a large penis to compensate for my very small car.
'Borrowed' it from an Icelandic museum, did you sir?
I don't know if it's a requirement elsewhere in the world - but I really need a "this vehicle is reversing" bin lorry recording
My tiny little electric car is silent reversing and the number of people who walk/push a shopping trolley/wheel a pushchair behind me while going backwards... I think their brain goes, that car is moving, it's reversing lights are on, but there is no noise so it's not really real.
One person literally walked into the back bumper and then said "it is quiet, isn't it? "
"My tiny little electric car is silent reversing and the number of people who walk/push a shopping trolley/wheel a pushchair behind me while going backwards"
They do this regularly when my much noisier old IC Volvo estate is reversing too, so the quietness is probably not the key issue. Total lack of attention to their surroundings probably dominates.
Trouble is, that person has grown up in a world where cars make a noise when idling, so you know when an ICE powered vehicle might move. There's no advanced warning for electric vehicles. As they become common, I'd expect reversing warning sounds when in reverse gear to become mandatory, probably happening first in Scandinavia or Germany.
I've certainly walked out behind electric cars which have moved with no warning.
When it gets really bad is when they use the car's sound system to "enhance" the engine noise, as many manufacturers do nowadays, complete with external speakers and all so you can regale the general public with synthetic engine sounds.
How on Earth anyone had the balls to propose, or managed to sell this idea, beats me.
I don't know if this is sadder, but those systems are purely for the occupants of the car and don't really carry outside. With most cars being turbocharged these days, the engines are a lot quieter hence the "need" for this. Some Renaults allow you to choose from a range of different classic cars from their range. More interesting is the technique Ford - and I think Porsche themselves - use where real engine sound is fed into the cabin via series of pipes and diaphragms from the engine bay. At least that's sort of real.
Complete with the original 3.5 zero to 100 km/h acceleration. (That's days, not seconds. Downhill and with a tailwind)
To amuse myself recently [1] I tried to calculate how many of the mighty 48 BHP the Morris Minor sitting on the drive had. I got depressed fairly quickly when it became obvious that quite a few of those original horses had indeed shuffled off this mortal coil.
And I'm pretty certain that, even in it's younger days, getting to 100 kmh (or 62mph in old money) was a fairly distant dream, even gravity-incline assisted. Yes, the book of lies suggests that 70 (ish) MPH was the theoretical top speed but you'd be waiting a long time to get there.
Nowadays, any attempt to go much over 50mph[2] results in much groaning, creaking and general complaining. And from the car as well.
[1] I'm easily bored. There are two sorts of people in IT - the ones that meticulously check everything and can be guaranteed to follow a script/procedure properly every time and then there's people like me..
[2] And the only way you'll actually know what speed you are going is by using GPS (or by having someone in a modern car follow you) since, at anything over 40mph the speedo needle is doing a very good impression of an undecided politician by waving back and forth between two disparate positions..
"For those worried that they may not be able to get their hands on one of the 500 pieces being made, don't worry"... you can make your own from your local scrapyard for £50 plus an old pair of Beats headphones
Konnie Huq will be along soon with some stick-back plastic to show you how, kiddies
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