back to article Bank of England puts cloud analytics on todo list after seeing off market collapse

The Bank of England had a busy end to September. On Wednesday last week, it said it would buy £65 billion (c $72 billion) of government bonds after the pound tumbled to historic lows and pensions funds went into meltdown, all seemingly the result of the government's mini-budget days earlier. The move sent shockwaves through …

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  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I bet even the best AI couldn't crash the economy as fast as our Liz. :-)

    1. VoiceOfTruth Silver badge

      The Daily Mail was gloating about it at the time. The 24th of September front page headline in all caps: AT LAST! A TRUE TORY BUDGET.

      How much the Daily Mail and its tax-haven dwelling owner hate people who are not wealthy. Reality sank in a few seconds later. Even the Daily Mail could not argue with a 33% by Labour. But but but, if only the great unwashed would put their shoulders to the wheel a bit more they too could afford a holiday home in Cornwall.

      I imagine the queue for the Tory lavatories in parliament was very long suddenly, and the supply of bog roll soon ran out. It would be funny if it were not so serious. We were hours away from a financial crash, wiping out pensions in the process.

      There is the well known saying that "You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you can not fool all of the people all of the time". By Abraham Lincoln, apparently. I looked it up to quote it correctly because it is prone to incorrect quotation.

      I have a modification of that for the era in which we live: You can eff off some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you can not eff off all of the people all of the time.

      1. Binraider Silver badge

        Ha! I for one was delighted by the ongoing car crash of an incompetent an unelected (by the general public) government.

        Obviously their policies are what they are, varying degrees of hatred for those, but the more they screw up the more likely they are to be removed at the general.

        Short term pain, long term gain.

        1. Trigun

          Disagree with just one part of your statement: "Short term pain, long term gain."

          Because all of our parties are absolute naf. We get rid of the conservatives and then we get someone else who is just as bad, but just in their own special way.

          1. Binraider Silver badge

            Advocate of ending FPTP here for the very reason you give here.

            I can't vote for what I want under FPTP because FPTP. And nor can a lot of other tactical voters.

            Labour aren't ideal but with PR on the agenda they are at least a bit of hope. For what's the alternative to change? More cronyism?

  3. Paul Crawford Silver badge

    Maybe invest a bit in to forcing Chancellors use GIT and send a pull request for review before it goes out, mkay?

    1. First Light

      He said in his speech his plan would upset the markets. He didn't care. There's no cure for arrogance (except maybe getting repeatedly hit upside the head by your colleagues). Time for some serious BOFH action at Nos. 10 and 11.

    2. hammarbtyp

      Maybe just not having a git as a chancellor would be a good start....

  4. andy 103

    Data's only useful if it's right and you act on it

    See title.

    So 2 immediate problems for them right there.

  5. John Smith 19 Gold badge

    Truss's plan explained in detail

    1) F**k the poor *

    2) Blame mortgate hikes on the BoE for doing the job they are required to do.

    3) Pray to whatever Dark Lord she believes in that rich people will use the extra money by buying useful stufff that a)Injects cash into the economy (hiring expensive escorts. Doing lots of recreational drugs, legal or otherwise) b) Buys "useful" stuff, like machinery for their companies, or even whole new companies.

    *And by "poor" I do mean anyone on < £150k, the point at which someone starts to see a benefit from all of the last 12 years UK tax and benefit changes. Anyone on < c£35k is likely in fuel poverty as well.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Truss's plan explained in detail

      you got down votes?

      Did you find some rich cunts? or poor stupid cunts?

      1. Fruit and Nutcase Silver badge

        Re: Truss's plan explained in detail

        Must be the same couple of commentards who down vote me whenever I post something critical to our elected honourable members of Parliament, who forget whom they were elected to represent as soon as the votes are in.

        1. Snowy Silver badge

          Re: Truss's plan explained in detail

          A fine bunch of up standing members

  6. Anonymous Coward

    Trickle down Trussonomics

    The BoE made it clear what it thought of Truss's plan to cut the tax on the rich with the hope that the rich would trickle down their profits to the economy. Trump made the same argument for his tax cuts and they resulted in increased wealth, bigger bonuses, stock buy-backs, and increased debt.

    Throughout history, "trickle down" economics translates to "piss on the peasants" economics.

  7. veti Silver badge

    Seems to me

    Until last week, the BoE didn't realise it needed this sort of resource, because it probably assumed a British government would talk to it before issuing a budget.

    It's a lesson to us all, about assumptions...

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Seems to me

      And not calling it a 'budget' in case the Office of Budgetary Responsibility get to cast an eye over the scribblings on a paper napkin

      1. Fruit and Nutcase Silver badge

        Re: Seems to me

        Lots of good things have been done on the back of a cigarette packet or paper napkin - but the people doing the scribbling are usually adults and have some talent. The First Lord of the Treasury and her Chancellor of the Exchequer on the other hand are somewhat lacking in the talent department - and over and beyond that, an ounce of empathy and humility would be nice

  8. Oh No, Not Again

    BofE asleep at the wheel yet again

    Nothing to do with the BofE being asleep at the wheel again then? If they’d kept an eye on the use of LDI's by pension funds, raised interest rates and ended QE earlier, I doubt that we'd now be in the pickle they've put us in.

  9. PhilipN Silver badge

    Para. 2, sentence 1

    "move sent shockwaves through global financial markets."


    It was the mini-budget (previous sentence) which initiated the shockwaves, not the Old Lady of Threadneedle Street.

    You're welcome.

  10. Peter2 Silver badge

    The Bank of England had a busy end to September. On Wednesday last week, it said it would buy £65 billion (c $72 billion) of government bonds after the pound tumbled to historic lows and pensions funds went into meltdown, all seemingly the result of the government's mini-budget days earlier.

    Compare both of these charts.

    Pound to the dollar chart

    Euro to the dollar chart

    It's interesting how the UK mini budget caused a crash in the value of the euro at the same time, isn't it?

    A sceptic might think that the cause could be more related to the US's .75% interest rate rise on the date both dropped in value relative to the dollar, coupled with the fact that the entire of Europe (including the UK) is now buying gas from the USA in dollars.

    You might also mourn the fact that our home grown extremists forced the closure of North Sea Gas, as otherwise we'd be self sufficient, and any additional supplies would have gone to exports, meaning that if they hadn't have done that then we'd have been rolling in money at the moment.

    Alas, the green movements aim appears to have been to close down gas production in the UK in favour of foreign imports, and opposes any form of practically workable power generation such as nuclear which would threaten to reduce CO2 emissions through the closure of gas or coal plants.

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    "It uses a gamut of analytics tools including Microsoft Excel..."

    As used so successfully during the pandemic

  12. Danny 2

    Moaning Scot again

    Liz said the big thing about the package was The Energy Price Guarantee, and financially it is, it's just so badly targetted.

    I've pointed out before here that it's unfair and irrational that my rich sister gets it once for hr home in London, and again for her holiday home in Scotland.

    It also seems obvious that London or Brighton are much warmer than say Edinburgh or Thurso and so require far less electricity to stay warm.

    It's wasteful and unfair, and they had time to think about this.

    1. Snowy Silver badge

      Re: Moaning Scot again

      Maybe the Scottish Government could do something for Scottland?

  13. hammarbtyp

    Trickle Down economics

    I saw a homeless man in the street, so I decided to do something about it.

    I took £10 out of my wallet, hopped on the bus to the most expensive area in town, found the biggest house and pushed the £10 through the letter box.

    I hope the homeless guy appreciates the money when it gets to him

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