Tesla owner gets key fob chip implanted in his hand Tesla owner Brandon Dalaly has seemingly implanted a chip in his hand that he uses to unlock his car, among other things. And as one does after hand hacking, he tweeted about his unlocked achievement to Tesla honcho Elon Musk, nexus of stonk enthusiasm and perhaps Twitter's next owner. "Finally decided to take my phone key …
I'm reminded of the first episode of Blakes 7 (no apostrophe, obvs, the budget was too tight) regarding a palm scanner to unlock the prison ship's security door. ISTR it was Gan who pointed out to the hesitant security guard that "your hand doesn't need to remain attached to you" (or similar) delivered with a rather evil grin.
Is that the main objection to these thing? That you'll need dozens of them. Apart from that it seems like a small convenience. Probably best just to get a better phone, as others have said. Are there other disadvantages? I guess you'd want something that will last, as you would not want to keep changing it. I don't really like the idea, and I don't think I'll ever be getting one, but I'm struggling to work out exactly why.
At the risk of ruining a perfectly fine joke, and of course manufacturers could make this more difficult if they are feeling sadistic:
Digital keys will generally have a public and a private (secret) part. If you keep your secret effectively, only you can create messages that anyone can then read using the public part.
The chip in the hand would only need to have a message identifying you, that anyone can decipher using your public key and only you can create.
Your identity chip would just identify who you are. Your contracts would connect your identity to things you own and can unlock. And naturally in this dystopia everything is cloud connected and immediately recognizes the implication of your transactions.
The private key could be put in the other hand to be used to make transactions, but how would you protect it? Would you need to worry about skimmers in the loo? I can't really see you want the private key on you at all. You would keep that part in a digital vault and hope the company maintaining it doesn't go out of business.
One of the radio morning show jocks supposedly tested the then-new iPhone touch lock with nose, elbow, ear, gentleman's snausage...
Apparently the snausage worked, but had to be in the same state of sky gazing each time or it wouldn't register properly.
I studied under CC aka Kevin Warwick at Reading University back in the day. There were some very interesting and knowledgeable characters there at the time. I was hoping to work on prosthesis and human applications of implanted tech but my work took me in a different direction.
Some of the mods he has had might seem strange now but implanted tech is one possible future and could be key (pun intended) to helping humans overcome physical limitations and improve quality of life where it's needed.
(icon because that's where my interest was first ignited).
That's a bit disingenious for a literal Nobel prize award winning medicine that has saved countless numbers of people from river blindness in Africa amongst other things.
Potential efficacy or not aside, it was surreal to see hit pieces against medicines in ways I don't recall seeing before. Suddenly everyone was an expert in everything and had an opinion about fields they had done no study in.
It received the praise and recognition as an anti-parasitic, it's also being used as an animal de-wormer. The yahoos who 'thought' it was the Covid cure, based on contrarianism and Facebook, were mostly chugging apple flavoured oral ointment formulated for livestock
Calling it horse de-wormer in this context is perfectly fine
The real clowns are the pillocks who call Ivermectin horse dewormer. It would be equivalent to calling porridge oats horse food (because horses eat it too, right). Not that I rushed out to get any when I had Covid - paracetamol did just fine.
Follow the money! People like that are just useful idiots for the pharma companies, who would prefer you to use their expensive drugs like Paxlovid. Which is working out great, isn't it? Just check with Mr and Mrs Biden.
If you are upset by someone referring to porage* oats as horse food, I shall make sure that I always refer to them as such from now on, safe in the knowledge that somewhere, some humourless toss-pot would be really upset by it. Get a grip, man, it's perfectly fine to de-worm horses with an anti-parasitic agent and refer to it as such. I'm sure the discoverers of ivermectin don't care.
*porrage, porridge, etc.
I don't think you should set out to upset people just because you think they are wrong. There's enough upset in the world already.
Also, you are missing the point. It's not equivalent to just calling porridge horse food. It's the equivalent to walking down the aisle at Tesco and mocking anyone buying Ready Brek because they are eating horse food.
Perhaps I am humourless about this particular subject. I was piled on in a Slack channel at work and got a telling off from HR for getting into a heated discussion (for wasting time basically - not for the content) after recommending an episode of Joe Rogan, and basically the other people's argument was that he should not be taking horse dewormer. Even though it had been prescribed by a doctor. I wasn't even recommending taking the stuff, just saying it was interesting. So, yeah it's probably just a personal thing and it rubs me up the wrong way when I see any mention of it. And here I am a year or so later, getting into the same argument. Some people just never learn.
It's the equivalent to walking down the aisle at Tesco and mocking anyone buying Ready Brek because they are eating horse food.
It's really not. If anything, it's the equivalent of mocking people who are putting ready Brek down their pants because they think it'll cure their gonorrhoea. Quite frankly, such people are fair game, because we've got to the point where they won't listen to sense, so we might as well try mockery.
Oh, and if you think Joe Rogan was talking anything other than bollocks if he was taking an antiparasitic agent for anything other than a parasitic infection (and ivermectin is actually usually not prescribed to humans, for $reasons), and you think this was bona-fide because a doctor was involved, might I gently remind you that Harold Shipman was a doctor, as was H. H. Crippen, and also Josef Mengele.
Rather than putting Ready Brek down their pants (translation underpants for our US readers, as they might just be waking up to this) it's probably more akin to taking homoeopathic remedies. It's probably not going to do anything, but if it makes you feel better then have at it. It probably didn't help. It wasn't even that particular thing I was recommending listening to him for, was just saying it's interesting. On this one thing he was probably wrong, but it's harmless so stop calling it horse dewormer when more doses have been given to humans.
You are completely wrong about Ivermectin not normally being prescribed to humans. Billions of doses have been prescribed over decades with a remarkably few side effects.
And just because there have been a few bad doctors in history, doesn't mean that a multi-millionaire would be using one of them. I would imagine he'd chose a good one, and not the serial killer type (unless we're back onto porridge, which I'm sure he's be against).
You are completely wrong about Ivermectin not normally being prescribed to humans. Billions of doses have been prescribed over decades with a remarkably few side effects.
I think the operative words there are "have been". Go to your GP in the UK with something like intestinal worms, for which ivermectin could be a treatment, and it's not what you will be prescribed. You'll probably get mebendazole.
That's not to say ivermectin is not a useful drug, or that it won't work, but it is not generally prescribed. Ivermectin is a pretty broad-spectrum drug, meaning it can treat quite a wide variety of conditions, from fungal skin infections, to intestinal parasites, but you're far more likely to get prescribed something specific to your ailment, because it's likely to be cheaper and more effective. Ivermectin tends to get used when the doctor doesn't really know exactly what is wrong with you, and is used more commonly in animals (and in developing countries where diagnostic testing is less available) for exactly this reason.
Nor the people that were properly prescribed the medicine. Being available on only a prescription basis, any clown that couldn't find a bent physician had to scoff it from the local feed store. Bill Gates, of course, knew this, and had it laced with micro control sensors i80666 to fulfill his evil plans.
The real victim here is satire. I don't really give a horse tranquilizer for what inanity some folks are driven to; but to boldly adopt such a humourless stance is just deplorable. People who have strength in their convictions do not bristle and gentle needling. Reactionary behavior is very much linked to insecurity.
Have a look at Patrick Paumen's collection of implants.. 31 and counting.
<a href="https://www.tkkrlab.space/en/cybersaturdays/2021_09_18_nederlandse_cyborg_patrick_paumen/">https://www.tkkrlab.space/en/cybersaturdays/2021_09_18_nederlandse_cyborg_patrick_paumen/</a>
<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g7bMpP3-zQI">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g7bMpP3-zQI</a>
Of all the health concerns somebody who surgically implants a car key into their body obviously faces, the inability to get an MRI is pretty far down the list. Closer to the top include impulse-control-disorder, possibly paraphilic disorder, and NOS-self harm disorder. (SDM-V; but i-ANAS)
Reminds me of the guy who extracted the chip from his Oyster (London Transport travel card) and stuck it to the end of a magic wand. I'd occasionally see him at Londonbridge station waving the wand over the card sensor and getting through the barriers much to the amusement of tourists.
I'm wondering if they even thought of a biologically compatible barrier...
There's a reason the pet tags are in glass, and the people who implant a hitag or similar go with the glass encapsulated ones without the antimigration coating.
The optimal placement for the hand is in the space of the thumb web, less chance of it tearing the skin/getting crushed than on the back.
I ultimately went with a NFCRing instead for my access control needs, easier to remove...
""I should probably state I currently have no money on this, so please no one chop my hand off...thanks," "
Completely misses the fact that the chip controls a $60,000+ car.
I do believe in God, so won't ever do the Mark of the Beast thing (didn't exist 2000 years ago, but somehow they forsaw this?) but that's a me thing. Even if you don't believe as I do, there's practical considerations such as how RFIDs work, converting microwaves into enough chip power to allow the chip to transmit, so the chip is irradiating the area it's implanted at constantly. Constant microwave irradiation of the same area might cause cancer in the area over time. Then there's the problem of chip migration, which sometimes happens with pet chips. Imagine having to bring a foot up to unlock the car, or rubbing your butt on the car because the chip migrated there and you have enough body mass that the car can't read the chip through your fat ass. And it had better be put into the inside hand, because the proximity detectors on these cars is tight enough that if the key is on the wrong side of the doorsill, the car won't start. I have a car with a keyfob, and if I have a leg out of the car it won't start because the key itself is not actually inside. Then, there's the issue of the chip wearing out, resulting in periodic remove and replace surgery, but you can't drive to the doctor because the key's broken. Pet chips last forever because they may never be scanned, but you drive every day and while in the car the car is in constant communication with the key (see microwave irradiation above.) Ever step out of the car while it's running? It gives you a KEY NOT IN VEHICLE alert of some sort.
No, even if not for the Mark of the Beast, the rest of the problems of an implanted device are enough to say no to this.
"converting microwaves into enough chip power to allow the chip to transmit, so the chip is irradiating the area it's implanted at constantly. Constant microwave irradiation of the same area might cause cancer in the area over time."
If may well receive enough RF to trigger it into life, but it's not going to transmit unless it receives a valid code. And even if it does start to transmit, the signal is very, very low. I very much doubt that this will have any long term effects. if it was possible, we'd already have millions of cats and dogs with cancer or other issues in the surrounding tissues since NFC implants have been a thing for pets for quite a few years now., about 35 or so. And you can bet the testing levels were less stringent on pet implants than any done for human implants.
Yes, but how often are pets scanned? Maybe once a year at most, if the vet does so to check it during an annual checkup. Key fobs, on the other hand, are constantly scanned which is how the car knows where it is, and how it knows when the fob leaves the instant it crosses the threshold. So yes, the car chip is constantly transmitting.
But, we'll find out for sure, now that we have people sticking the things in.
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