back to article Apple's secret car team tosses keys to Lamborghini lead

Apple's poorly-kept-secret automobile project is reportedly getting an injection of exotic car know-how from a 20-year Lamborghini veteran. The Cupertino biz has reportedly recruited Luigi Taraborrelli, most recently the head of chassis and vehicle dynamics R&D at Lamborghini, to lead design of its rumored self-driving …

  1. Warm Braw Silver badge

    I'm hoping we can at least assume the wheels will have rounded corners.

    1. DJV Silver badge

      Yeah, but each will also have a notch.

      Also, the driving computer will just need programming with your destination which, as it will use Apple Maps, means that you will arrive at the correct place only 97% of the time - those finding themselves in the remaining 3% will never be found again. Manual operation will occasionally throw up the error message: "You are driving it wrong" but won't elaborate any further on that. Internally, none of the USB connectors will be compatible with anything of non-Apple manufacture.

      1. Evil Scot
        Joke

        And the nonstandard power connector will be mounted on the floor pan.

        1. Strahd Ivarius Silver badge

          located under the car and it will higher than the vehicle ground clearance, of course

    2. First Light Silver badge

      Round wheels will cost extra.

    3. Michael Wojcik Silver badge

      Venting windows will not be an option. You might think you need or want to be able to open the windows, but that's just because you're trapped in assumptions based on current designs.

      The entertainment system will only stream iTunes. That's for your protection.

      There will be no physical controls, just an enormous touchscreen.

  2. Fruit and Nutcase Silver badge
    Joke

    Apple Tractors

    Just like Signor Lamborghini, Apple could start off by designing a Tractor. No problem as long as the fields have rounded corners

    1. David 132 Silver badge
      Coat

      Re: Apple Tractors

      Well, they've already sorted out how to get short-range messages to their tractor, when they added Near Field Communication to previous iPhones...

    2. jake Silver badge

      Re: Apple Tractors

      "Apple could start off by designing a Tractor."

      Apple can design anything they want, but who would buy an Apple tractor? You think John Deere has issues with people working on their own kit? Not even the big corporate farms would buy Apple tractors. Far too much money, with no assurance that I can get the crop in on time, and under budget.

      Same for cars, BTW ... can you imagine the hardware mark-up on a tesla-esque Applemobile? Would probably cost twice as much, if not more, for similar performance (batteries and motors and tires and suspension can only be pushed so far). ... and likely be equally hum-drum in the looks department.

      1. Neil Barnes Silver badge

        Re: Apple Tractors

        But an Applemobile would be in the same class as the remainder of their products, and incidentally the same class as a Lamborghini - it's a Velben good. You don't buy it because you need it, nor because it's the most economical way to get something you need; you buy it so you can demonstrate that you've got it.

        1. David 132 Silver badge

          Re: Apple Tractors

          ITYM “Veblen good”. Definition for anyone who isn’t familiar with the term.

          1. Neil Barnes Silver badge

            Re: Apple Tractors

            Oops, thanks for the correction.

  3. General Purpose Silver badge
    Happy

    After so long

    "Just what we expect from the iGiant: Reasonably affordable, low margin, mass market technology"

    It's a delight to see the Register be so positive about Apple.

    1. David 132 Silver badge
      Happy

      Re: After so long

      I know, right? I remember the bad old days when El Reg would be scathingly sarcastic in an article such as this. It’s good to see that the site has won the victory over itself and learned to love Big Brother Apple.

    2. Steve Davies 3 Silver badge

      Re: After so long

      It won't last...

      Try next Monday and normal service will be resumed.

  4. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

    Wherfe will it be built?

    Outsourced assembly to Foxconn?

  5. Kevin McMurtrie Silver badge

    Exclusive Apple features

    - ThunderPark charging port reaches full range in 4 hours

    - 26 speaker Bluetooth sound system, each speaker operating for up to 4 hours on a charge

    - Fully autonomous self driving meeting all iRoad regulations (not for public roads)

    - Front grill features a smug grin

    - 1600 HP, 0-60 MPH in 10 seconds

    - 0.25 G maximum lateral force for smoothest and safest driving

    - No clutter of doors, windows, buttons, steering wheel, or pillars. Just one big Gorilla Glass capsule.

    - No turn signals. It's time to leave those in the past.

    - 20 colors of silicone bumpers to chose from

    - Water resistant (water voids warranty)

    - Safely limits top speed to 15 MPH if unauthorized tires or windshield wipers are detected

    - Siri will tell you if you're there yet

    - 90 day warranty

    - 2 year Apple Care available

    1. David 132 Silver badge

      Re: Exclusive Apple features

      > - 20 colors of silicone bumpers to chose from

      Nice, but ITYM “car will be made entirely of Gorilla Glass and magnesium alloy and will look exquisite, but will scratch and chip as soon as you drive through a light drizzle, so at a very reasonable cost Apple will sell you their own or 3rd-party silicone car-brascorsets that will protect the bodywork at the cost of making your exquisite new vehicle about 2x the size and resembling a hideous safety concept car from the 1970s”

      1. John D'oh!

        Re: Exclusive Apple features

        It will only be available in midnight black and space grey to begin with. They only add the other colour options once they have run out of genuine innovations.

    2. Michael Wojcik Silver badge

      Re: Exclusive Apple features

      - Front grill features a smug grin

      The sad thing is that this would be an improvement on most of the grills currently featured by automakers. Sure would beat Toyota's "Sad Fish" and "Angry Predator" looks, for example.

  6. Howard Sway Silver badge

    What we really need to know

    is how much it's going to weigh once they've glued in a whole electric car's worth of batteries to stop the owners changing them themselves.

  7. EricB123 Bronze badge

    I Got It!

    "Because no one has confirmed Taraborrelli's hiring, it's unclear what his job on the team may be."

    Maybe so Apple can put the logo of Lamborghini in a conspicuous place on each car?

    1. Fruit and Nutcase Silver badge
      Joke

      Re: I Got It!

      bullshit is good for Apple (trees, as fertiliser)

  8. MachDiamond Silver badge

    Why?

    Adding more "management" with expertise in hand made, high performance, low reliability cars doesn't make much sense. As Apple has money to incinerate, I supposed they can afford it, but why wouldn't they be looking for people that can design for manufacturability in quantity?

    I still don't see why Apple wants to make a car. It's a horribly low profit margin industry. They are much better off supplying software to the auto industries. There is already a crowd of expensive EVs cluttering up the top end of the market all trying to out-do each other with more and more useless "features". Do people really want to be sat face to face with others in the car? How many autos have more than 2 people inside that really want to have a chat? It's likely just because I'm old that I don't find having high speed internet and voice commands all that useful. I also drive by myself most of the time as I am self-employed and don't have a family. The few features I find useful are overwhelmed by the 100's that lose their shine a day after they are learned. Something like those video effects that were in camcorders when they first came out. You played with them for a day or two and then never again. As an aside, I still have 8mm film from when I was a kid, but we don't seem to have kept any of the videos from the camcorder era. Not that they would be playable on anything these days.

    I'd rather see Apple spending money on a vigorous R&D lab than getting into cars. So much of what has made Apple has been by hiring good engineers and designers and turning them loose with a decent budget so Steve could go around and pick out the couple of things that really had legs. Tim doesn't have the knack for that and just seems focused on yet another model of iPhone that's pretty much the same as the last version released 6 months before.

    1. Fruit and Nutcase Silver badge
      Alert

      Re: Why?

      "...in hand made, high performance, low reliability cars"

      In the old days...

      LOTUS - Lots Of Trouble, Usually, Serious

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    You won’t choose to buy one

    However a chosen few will be invited to apply to buy one.

  10. John D'oh!

    I expect they will reduce the top speed as the battery wears out in order to stop it conking out in the fast lane of the motorway.

    Also, where current cars, including automatics, have 2 pedals, iCars will only have one.

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