back to article Not enough desks and parking spots, wobbly Wi-Fi: Welcome back to the office, Tesla staff

Employees at Tesla suffered spotty Wi-Fi and struggled to find desks and parking spots when they were returned to work at the office following orders from CEO Elon Musk. Most tech companies are either following a hybrid work model or are still operating fully remotely. Musk, however, wants his automaker's staff back at the …

  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    When the show is run by clowns

    Expect chaos

    1. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

      Re: When the show is run by clowns

      If it employed clowns they wouldn't have the same problem with too few parking spots

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: When the show is run by clowns

        true, you can park at least five unicycles in every car space.

      2. Dan 55 Silver badge

        Re: When the show is run by clowns

        But only if they drove clown cars.

    2. A Non e-mouse Silver badge

      Re: When the show is run by clowns

      It shows that Tesla is run by someone who doesn't have a clue what's happening on the ground.

    3. Hans Neeson-Bumpsadese Silver badge
      Coat

      Re: When the show is run by clowns

      Run by clowns, but who could you replace them with? Those are big shoes to fill.

      1. Steve K Silver badge
        Coat

        Re: When the show is run by clowns

        You can kill a circus easily - go straight for the juggler

        1. ChrisC Silver badge

          Re: When the show is run by clowns

          Are you suggesting Elon is a bit vain?

  2. Plest Silver badge

    Musk is a child in a man's body

    Musk might be the golden child of the modern generation but he has the attitude of truculant 16 year old boy. Spitting his silly little postings over social media, constantly looking to draw attention to himself. I've no issues with the work he funds and what Tesla/SpaceX do but I find Musk to be a rather unpleasant person, much like a modern Steve Jobs, fine company and project, rather nasty CEO.

    1. A Non e-mouse Silver badge

      Re: Musk is a child in a man's body

      I'm not saying Jobs was a saint, but Musk is in a class of his own.

      1. lglethal Silver badge
        Go

        Re: Musk is a child in a man's body

        I dont know, everything we've ever seen pointed to Jobs being an A grade asshole ("Your holding it wrong."). But he died before Twitter really took off, and so we weren't subjected to a 24 hour a day thought stream from his Holy Jobsness.

        Then again, Jobs always came across as being exceptionally media saavy (as we all saw with the Cupertino Reality Distortion Field). So maybe he would have stayed well away from that Twitter pit of idiocy...

    2. jmch Silver badge
      Trollface

      Re: Musk is a child in a man's body

      "The automaker, which dissolved its internal PR department...."

      "...he has the attitude of truculant 16 year old boy. Spitting his silly little postings over social media, constantly looking to draw attention to himself..."

      perchance the two are related??

  3. localzuk Silver badge

    Hopes and dreams

    Tesla seems to be run on hopes and dreams. This is the same thinking that caused their earlier manufacturing issues. Their hopes and dreams were massively autonomous production, but it didn't work/couldn't work, so they had to go out and hire thousands more employees to work in place of the robots.

    We're several years down the line, and the same thinking now expects thousands of people to return to offices without enough desks...

    Maybe they need someone who is actually good at running a business (not a visionary) to run the business side of things, and let Musk do the vision side of things?

    1. My-Handle Silver badge

      Re: Hopes and dreams

      I've heard it said that this is effectively what Gwynne Shotwell's role is at SpaceX. Elon does the vision thing, Gwynne makes the business work (and occasionally talks Elon down from a cliff). I wonder how much of the credit for Spacex's progress is down to her.

      1. lglethal Silver badge
        Go

        Re: Hopes and dreams

        I very much get the impression that there is no one at Tesla willing to say No to Elon.

        I mean when Elon ordered everyone back to work, the Site Manager should have been able to say "Look Sorry, but No. We just dont have the space for everyone to come back to at the moment. We need to do this as a phased return, whilst we build back up capacity." And that would be that, the tweet would change to say it was referrring only to this select group and everyone else would be coming back slowly over the next few months.

        But No, his Muskiness ordered everyone back, no one was willing to say that will be a shit show, and guess what we get a shit show. What a f%&king surprise..

        Musk talks about not trusting people who work in home office. Well it sounds like me that, he needs to hire new managers that he can trust to tell him when things wont work. Or maybe he needs to create an environment where the managers trust HIM enough to tell him when things wont work. It definitely sounds like that environment does not exist at Tesla...

        1. yetanotheraoc Silver badge

          Re: Hopes and dreams

          "...he needs to hire new managers that he can trust to tell him when things wont work."

          That's included in the job interview.

          Musk: "I need to be sure you can tell me when I'm wrong."

          Prospective manager: "Absolutely, I will be able to tell you when you are wrong."

  4. Mike 137 Silver badge

    Hubris

    "Everyone at Tesla is required to spend a minimum of 40 hours in the office per week. Moreover, the office must be where your actual colleagues are located, not some remote pseudo office. If you don't show up, we will assume you have resigned"

    Note the 'minimum'. How these plutocrats love issuing edicts. It's been said that money corrupts, but, more probably, having so much of it allows one to show with impunity how corrupt one has always been.

    1. Pascal Monett Silver badge

      Re: Hubris

      I just have one question : how much time is Musk spending at his Tesla office ?

      Because, given the edict, if it ain't at least 40 hours, he has resigned.

      I would love for some HR drone to send him his resignation notice.

      1. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

        Re: Hubris

        "how much time is Musk spending at his Tesla office ?"

        Too much. If he went AWOL for a few months stuff might get sorted out.

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Hubris

        Amazon hushed it up, but that's exactly what happened to Jeff Bezos. The AI pink slipped him for T.O.T*, and there was no one higher up to appeal to.

        * time off task

  5. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

    Reality is a bitch.

  6. Johnb89

    Surely a Tesla car is a Tesla office

    Ok so if you work at Tesla you obviously drive a Tesla. And if you drive a Tesla you have autopilot because you work at Tesla, and you believe in autopilot because you have inside information that it really isn't as dangerous as it seems to outsiders, and anyway your company sells it to people to use on public roads so obviously its totally safe. And obviously being IN a Tesla counts as being in a Tesla office....

    So.... you get in the car, turn on autopilot and drive around all day while working.

    Has the useful side effect that it will run into a post or fire engine or whatever at some point, reducing the number of employees needing to go back to the office as and when.

  7. ChrisC Silver badge

    "the office must be where your actual colleagues are located, not some remote pseudo office"

    Soooo oh Musky one, how does that work if you're based in the US but also spend part of your working day interacting with colleagues in, say, the UK sales team?

    I'm also thinking that this eeediotic edict opens the door for a group of employees to hire a beach house somewhere and all move in there for a month or two - if all of your "actual" colleagues (as opposed to, what, exactly? Are there a load of actors employed by Tesla to roam the halls pretending to be colleagues?) are in the same building as you, and you're all working there, then, umm, isn't that by your very definition "the office", and therefore perfectly OK?

    As much as I admire some of what's emerged from Tesla (I've said it before, I'd love to see them licence their powertrain tech to other car manufacturers and just focus on that side of the business, rather than trying to actually be a car manufacturer in their own right competing against companies with decades of hard-earned experience in how to design and build the complete car package), it's becoming increasingly difficult to have any admiration for Musk as a company leader. Disparaging comments which show his true disdain for WFH and a complete lack of empathy for anyone who, despite the struggles they might have faced in order to comply with whatever WFH mandates were in place in their areas, still managed to get the work done, place him squarely on my list of "people who's opinions I no longer respect".

  8. Kanhef

    Probably by design

    As mentioned previously, His Muskiness probably wants to reduce the workforce to cut costs, but doesn't want to pay unemployment for laying people off, so he's trying to get them to quit on their own.

  9. Brett Weaver

    The tweetings will continue...

    I liked that sub heading. I thought it was clever and fun.

  10. Ahab Returns

    Evolution?

    It seems we humans have only two corporate world settings. Hero worshipping the Jesus character and laying down our lives for them, or management by committee leading to British Leyland syndrome (look it up kids, we once had our own 'Auto' business, well, of sorts).

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