back to article Cloud security unicorn cuts 20% of staff after raising $1.3b

Cloud security company Lacework has laid off 20 percent of its employees, just months after two record-breaking funding rounds pushed its valuation to $8.3 billion. A spokesperson wouldn't confirm the total number of employees affected, though told The Register that the "widely speculated number on Twitter is a significant …

  1. vtcodger Silver badge

    Gypsy Curse

    Obviously a gypsy curse is in play here. Here's a link to a dude who says he can remove gypsy curses. https://spellshelp.com/articles/gypsy_magic/how-to-remove-a-gypsy-curse/

    I'm sure that a $8B company will not even notice the cost of hiring him. Might even be tax deductible (although I think tax deductible only matters if you have actual profits).

  2. VoiceOfTruth

    If cloud security was any good

    Maybe there would be less need for a cloud security company.

    I'm being flippant.

    1. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

      Re: If cloud security was any good

      "I'm being flippant."

      Are you sure about that?

  3. HildyJ Silver badge
    FAIL

    Reality

    "This investment would include adding more employees, and expanding the company's global reach, he added."

    I doubt it. More likely it will include buying other startups, firing a chunk of their employees, and reporting higher profits. Rinse and repeat.

  4. Ace2 Bronze badge

    The valuation might be fake money, but unless they’re doing something seriously stupid that $1.3B of actual money should keep the company going for a good long while.

    Well, as long as they don’t try to get into the ride-hailing business…

    1. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

      With 2 CEOs to feed it might not last that long.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        re: With 2 CEOs to feed

        And their Vulture Capital children that are running riot with the companies money.

        It won't last very long but a few people will walk away with enough dosh to fund their retirement.

        I'm sure that with a bit of investigation, this behaviour might be shown as actually being commonplace.

        I give this company 3-6 months before Chapter 11 comes calling

  5. ecofeco Silver badge

    Oxymoron alert!

    Cloud security?

    Bwahahahahahaha.

  6. aldolo

    8b$ for 1000 employees?

    seems strange

  7. Ken Moorhouse Silver badge

    Cloud du jour

    Anyone remember dot com?

    1. An ominous cow heard

      Re: Cloud du jour

      Surely you mean "dot con", which I see is now the title of a book.

  8. Mayday
    Alert

    I looked into this place recently

    Met a regional director for a “chat”, they didn’t have the headcount at the time, but seemed good. Glad it didnt go any further.

    Willing to presume this director was not included in the redundancies.

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Meanwhile

    I know of a certain number of tech companies that are actively looking for staff and complain that as a public (state owned) company and the state has some braindead ideas on homeoffice and low pay (but you cannot really be fired, there are stories... Geez) they have a really hard time finding staff. I'm training some, I have students doing a study and work program, but this are beginners.

    So, which downturn? Well, we'll see what next year brings.

  10. Ken Moorhouse Silver badge

    Clouds

    Rows and flows of angel hair

    And ice cream castles in the air

    And feather canyons everywhere

    Looked at clouds that way

    But now they only block the sun

    They rain and they snow on everyone

    So many things I would have done

    But clouds got in my way

    I've looked at clouds from both sides now

    From up and down and still somehow

    It's cloud illusions I recall

    I really don't know clouds at all

  11. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

    Lacework? Never heard of them but looking forward to their future appearances here which can't be very far away once they start shedding those who do the real work.

    And which of their CEOs is the redundant one?

    1. innominatus

      But Lacework is full of holes?

      1. Ken Moorhouse Silver badge

        Re: But Lacework is full of holes?

        Have they embroidered the state of affairs?

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