back to article When the expert speaker at an NFT tech panel goes rogue

How can you save the world's oceans? By investing in NFTs of course! A global network of campaigning filmmakers, Ocean Collective, hopes to drive up awareness about declining marine biodiversity by developing a digital Museum of Extinction. Items of artwork from the museum will then be sold as NFT purchases to raise cash to …

  1. Sorry that handle is already taken. Silver badge

    "investing in NFTs"

    Can I just be the first to say that buying cryptocurrencies isn't investing; it's gambling.

    1. PriorKnowledge
      Trollface

      Not gambling

      Let me be the first to say you're confusing gambling with surprise mechanics. They're simply not the same!

      1. Benegesserict Cumbersomberbatch Silver badge

        Re: Not gambling

        The sort of surprise mechanic that says, "Sorry, Guv, but the work's gunna cost a bit more than I said."

    2. theOtherJT Silver badge

      Re: "investing in NFTs"

      You can certainly be the first to say it on this thread...

    3. Blackjack Silver badge

      Re: "investing in NFTs"

      Is gambling with a heavy chance of getting mugged.

  2. Sam not the Viking Silver badge

    I don't believe it!

    I was trying to understand Crypto, NFTs etc. when I recalled those surreal jokes that abounded in the 70's-80's (The bakery and the bicycle for example).

    I've had to conclude surreality is more believable.

    1. ShadowSystems

      Re: I don't believe it!

      I don't remember the jokes you mentioned. Could you share them?

      *Hands you a pair of pints: one to lubricate your brain to help the memories return, another to whet your whistle in order to give them voice*

      Thanks!

      1. Sam not the Viking Silver badge
        Joke

        Re: I don't believe it!

        Man goes into the bakery and asks for a white sliced loaf.

        The baker says "Sorry we've only got brown."

        "That's okay, I'm on my bike."

        1. Allaun Silverfox

          Re: I don't believe it!

          Even as a surrealist joke, I don't get the context of that?

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Boffin

    They won't sell many...

    They won't sell many if they are as plain as the examples in the video.

    This is more like it: https://www.popsci.com/animals/new-fairy-wrasse-fish-identified/

    [Icon: blue background means he's underwater!]

  4. JassMan

    Items of artwork from the museum will then be sold as NFT purchases to raise cash to fund a documentary series on the topic along with other environmental awareness projects.

    Anyone who reads yesterday's story about NFTs will realise that:

    A) It may raise cash for the documentary series but the NFT is totally Fungible when it comes to crooks selling off you toss-pot asset, so will never see the supposed rise in value.

    B) If they are interested in environmental awareness, they would not be using NFTs in the first place owing to the computing power (and concomitant waste) involved.

    And...

    Don't you just love boffins. Especially the ones who tell the truth instead of what they may or may not have been paid to say.

    1. Joe W Silver badge

      More common than you think. Many (most serious ones) are highly critical of their own work. They know what's good about it and what is shite. There are counterexamples, sure.

      But I loved those comments and insights! Just cause he knows how the stuff works doesn't mean he doesn't talk about the problems, especially in those get yourself rich schemes (he won't get rich anyway), and there are some things that could benefit from a chain of signed and verified transactions. This is not a good use case.

    2. Tom 7

      TBF a small NFT setup wont actually take much power. NFTs generally consume power in an exponential manner - the first few hundred or so use miniscule power, the next thousands or so it starts to get noticeable, once your in the millions you have to run it at work, any bigger than that you have to use other peoples machines...

      1. sev.monster Silver badge
        Facepalm

        Unless by "a small NFT setup" you are implying a new from-zero blockchain, you're wrong. As the complexity of the blockchain increases, so do the computational and storage costs, and those costs are spread throughout the entire ecosystem—they don't magically lessen by keeping the number of transactions you are adding low.

    3. Rafael #872397
      Facepalm

      Don't you just love boffins.

      Sadly it is just a question of time until the NFT/Cryptoscam peddlers get something like the Tobacco Institute to get "scientists" to tell that NFT/Cryptoscam is the best thing ever!

  5. Franco Bronze badge

    I can't shake the feeling that NFTs are for hipster cork sniffers who just want to be able to say they "own" it.

    As for crypto, I'm putting no faith in anything thats value is essentially tied to Elon Musk's tweets.

    1. Mark 85

      More like they're for hipster griffsters than cork sniffers.

      1. Crypto Monad Silver badge

        Note that with an NFT, all that you actually own is a *URL*. The NFT doesn't even include a hash of the content at that URL.

        The server hosting that URL can go away; or the server owner can replace the content at that URL with different content, or even remove it entirely. At that point, all you own is a 404 error message.

        The URL, of course, also allows anyone else in the world to look at or download a copy of the content there.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          I've always been told that copying isn't theft. https://thenftbay.org

          1. Eclectic Man Silver badge

            Re: Theft

            In English law, 'theft' is "intent to permanently deprive". Copying something leaving the original in the possession of the owner is not theft of the item itself, although it could infringe on copyright, but that is a different law.

        2. jmch Silver badge

          "Note that with an NFT, all that you actually own is a *URL*"

          AFAIK, just as with crypto wallets, you can have an NFT on your own PC, USB drive etc

        3. marcellothearcane
          Mushroom

          Not even - the only unique (and non-fugible) thing about an NFT is an ID in the blockchain of choice. I could make an NFT pointing to exactly the same metadata/URI as yours - see the Ethereum NFT schema standard RFC here: https://eips.ethereum.org/EIPS/eip-721

          > Every NFT is identified by a unique uint256 ID inside the ERC-721 smart contract. This identifying number SHALL NOT change for the life of the contract. The pair (contract address, uint256 tokenId) will then be a globally unique and fully-qualified identifier for a specific asset on an Ethereum chain.

          1. Persona Silver badge

            the only unique (and non-fugible) thing about an NFT is an ID in the blockchain of choice

            Hence it becomes non unique and nicely fungible when you have more than one blockchain to choose between.

          2. sev.monster Silver badge

            You can still embed the data directly instead of using a URI, but the costs for doing so are incredibly high. Even the shitty pixel images that people were minting—which used little storage space thanks to their small size—have mostly switched to centralized servers due to how cost-prohibitive it is.

    2. Martin-73 Silver badge

      I really do hope they ban him like they did trump. That would be hilarious, the man's a loon

      1. beekir

        I take it you haven't read the latest news on his recent investments..

    3. Antron Argaiv Silver badge
      Facepalm

      Yes, but you see, the problem is they *don't* own it.

      What they own is a blockchain tagged image of the artwork, which is pretty much identical to the one I have on my PC from doing a right click and "save image". Theirs does, of course, have a blockchain tag permanently associated with it, for which they paid a considerable amount of money, but that means nothing to me.

      So, NFTs are perhaps even more ethereal than bitcoin. And much more useless. Unless, of course, you happen to be selling them.

  6. oiseau
    Facepalm

    Opinion

    ... an unfair and totally unfounded opinion that NFTs are a load of horse-puckey.

    I have a different opinion, albeit along more or less the same lines:

    NFTs are a load of bullshit whipped up by the usual shysters to con gullible idiots with too much money in their pockets.

    Unfair?

    Maybe, my opinions sometimes are.

    Unfounded?

    Well ...

    Ask the AH who put up 2.9M last year to purchase one to see if he could shaft someone with it further on to make some easy money at their expense.

    https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2022/apr/14/twitter-nft-jack-dorsey-sina-estavi

    Unfounded indeed.

    Whatever you celebrate these days, have a good week-end.

    O.

    1. Alistair Dabbs

      Re: Opinion

      I'd just like to add my congratulation to our sub-editor for the expression "horse-puckey". I had never heard or read this expression before. Is it similar to "monkey tennis"?

      (In my original copy, I wrote "bollocks", which is no longer acceptable.)

      1. yoganmahew

        Re: Opinion

        Bollocks! Bollocks, bollocks, bollocks, bollocks, bollocks...

        1. TimMaher Silver badge
          Coat

          Re: Bollocks!

          Now that really is a load of bollocks.

      2. Warm Braw

        Re: Opinion

        It's apparently an alternative to "horse-hockey". Presumably played by geldings.

        1. Mark 85

          Re: Opinion

          It's apparently an alternative to "horse-hockey". Presumably played by geldings.

          More like "road apples" or horse droppings.

          1. This post has been deleted by its author

          2. Tom 7

            Re: Opinion

            Which may be amusing to some but when frozen they are worse than potholes! They should be made to clean up after their horses!

      3. herman Silver badge

        Re: Opinion

        Horse pucky is the same as 2nd grade barley - barley that has been through a horse once.

        1. Jan 0 Silver badge

          Re: Opinion

          Whereas horse-pukey is like quickly rejected barley?

          1. Phil O'Sophical Silver badge

            Re: Opinion

            I thought that horses couldn't puke, which is one reason that feeding them bad stuff is so dangerous.

            Then again, I probably got that from a Dick Francis novel, so YMMV.

            1. Coastal cutie

              Re: Opinion

              You're quite right - they can't, possibly to stop them being sick when galloping at full speed, when the stomach comes under repeated pressure from the intestines, which would force the contents out if they were put together the same as other vertebrates including humans (apologies to anyone eating whilst reading this)

        2. Man inna barrel

          Re: Opinion

          This relates to an early form of trickle down economics, called the "Horse and Sparrow" theory. If you feed the horse enough oats, some will pass through to the road for the sparrows. According to economist JK Galbraith, this dates to 1890.

      4. Potemkine! Silver badge

        Re: Opinion

        Never mind the bollocks.

      5. PRR Silver badge

        Re: Opinion

        > ....the expression "horse-puckey". I had never heard or read this expression before.

        I'm shocked that a well-read widely-traveled literate person like you has never stepped in horse-puckey.

        I remember it back to the 1960s, albeit from the middle of the US. It was in general circulation in the East by the 1970s. Indeed Google Ngram (word history) finds it in print right about 1970; and more in American than British.

        https://books.google.com/ngrams/graph?content=horse+puckey&year_start=1960&year_end=2019&corpus=26&smoothing=0

        Google Books finds much horse puckey:

        https://www.google.com/search?q=%22horse%20puckey%22&tbm=bks&tbs=cdr:1,cd_min:1800,cd_max:1984&lr=lang_en

        Notably a 1953 book The Streak:

        "The record aint official the way it is." "Horse puckey,” Feona said. “If you cut the lap off , it's the record ! They pay off bets on that.”

      6. Tom 7

        Re: Opinion

        Why is the pluralised contracted portmanteau of "Best Of Luck" no longer acceptable?

      7. jake Silver badge

        Re: Opinion

        "In my original copy, I wrote "bollocks", which is no longer acceptable."

        No longer acceptable to whom, pray tell? Were the commentardariat polled?

        "I'd just like to add my congratulation to our sub-editor for the expression "horse-puckey". I had never heard or read this expression before."

        It's kind of a middle-American variation of bollocks. Close enough replacement, at least considering the origins of the folks ElReg probably had working over the bank holiday weekend.

        "Is it similar to "monkey tennis"?

        No, that phrase-equivilant would be "horse hockey".

        This cross-pond translation service brought to you by the number e and the letter O.

  7. Dr_N
    Holmes

    Available online?

    Is there a video of this event available? I've got some popcorn handy...

    On the mention of the KLF, can we be expecting some articles on Discordianism and Operation Mind**** in the future, Mr Dabbs?

    1. Alistair Dabbs

      Re: Available online?

      I recorded the audio but for some inexplicable reason 57 minutes of the hour-long event was recorded as complete silence on my phone. Good job I was taking notes. Anyway, it was all in French.

      1. Dr_N

        Re: Available online?

        Tant pis.

      2. Fruit and Nutcase Silver badge
        Alien

        Re: Available online?

        I recorded the audio but for some inexplicable reason 57 minutes of the hour-long event was recorded as complete silence on my phone

        May be there is an explanation... icon -->

        https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Contact_(1997_American_film)

        "...although Arroway's recording device only recorded static, it recorded 18 hours of it"

    2. Fruit and Nutcase Silver badge

      Re: Available online?

      ...mention of the KLF - This review was published a few days ago

      Who Killed the KLF? review – Chris Atkins’ entertaining guide to true pop mavericks

      https://www.theguardian.com/film/2022/apr/14/who-killed-the-klf-review-chris-atkins-entertaining-guide-to-true-pop-mavericks

  8. Eclectic Man Silver badge

    Save the oceans

    On the basis that an NFT is just a computer file, if you want to save the oceans, wouldn't be better to just wear clothes made of natural fibres (to avoid plastic particulates when laundering) and make a donation to the relevant charities?

    1. Phil O'Sophical Silver badge
      Coat

      Re: Save the oceans

      How, precisely, does one save an ocean? I've tried, but after a few pints even I have to recycle it.

  9. tezboyes

    The what happens when is no longer hypothetical...

    One of the first NFT games "F1 Delta" shut down with a days notice last month.

    The company behind it are apparently going to offer compensation in the form of similar NFTs in another game. And that's a best case scenario, they could easily have just shut down totally.

    As for resale value, well good luck with trying to sell any of that on!

  10. Howard Sway Silver badge

    Selling NFTs is a new way to fund environmental film missions

    I think the key to understanding this is to look at the nature of the environmental film missions that they will be funding themselves to go on, once they've publicised their worthy cause enough for sufficient numbers of mugs concerned citizens to have purchased their NFTs.

    Will "Ocean Collective" be braving the rough Winter seas off Greenland to make documentaries about the damage being done to some rare species of brown seaweed that can only be found there? Or will they perhaps conclude that their cause is best served by heroically sacrificing their time cruising round the Caribean for a couple of years filming the brightly coloured photogenic marine life there, subsisting on little more than sweet rum cocktails and other such deprivations?

    NFT in this case surely stands for Numerous Free Tickets.

  11. AndrueC Silver badge
    Joke

    NFT - Not Fucking there.

    - Nice Fucking Try.

    - Nine Farting Trees.

    Sorry - ran out of ideas there.

    1. Arthur the cat Silver badge

      Neat Fraud There.

    2. ske1fr
      Joke

      Game on

      Numpty Finance Toss?

      Ah, Nothing For Taxman (or Taxwoman, you could be a woman)...

      No Fscking Turtles?

    3. SCP

      Next Fake Thing

      1. jake Silver badge

        Nothing Fucking There.

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I work in a very big university. I am a lecturer - a senior lecturer, no less, in STEM. I do not understand cryptocurrencies or NFTs. I do, however, have very smart colleagues on the computer science side of things sho do understand these things, and say, with a single voice, that they are useless scams.

    A few years back some people who know even less about it than me said that we should put all our student records on a blockchain. When asked how this would improve on the database we have been running, in one form or another, for a hundred years, they went very quiet.

    1. Nick Ryan

      I full on laughed at a guest speaker at some event I went to a few years ago where he was standing there extolling the virtues of "the blockchain" (that's what he called it), how the blockchain can perform iterative functions, how the blockchain can have triggers in it to trigger external events and processes and lots of similarly wonderful total bullshit.

      He was not amused when I stated that "the blockchain", or more accurately a block chain, was nothing more than an algorithmic approach to storing data and had no advantages but lots of disadvantages unless there were a large number of distributed systems holding the entire database. Adding to this that there no concurrent controls over such a distributed database and almost no security either. He was not even able to describe what "the blockchain" actually was, nor able to argue when I got fed up with his bullshit and just told him straight that he had no idea what he was talking about.

      I similarly squashed a suggestion about converting an in-house database into a blockchain data store: absolutely no advantages but lots of disadvantages.

      1. hittitezombie

        Grifters all the way down

        All these years I have not seen a single problem that required blockchain as a solution, apart from how to scam gullibles.

        1. Pascal Monett Silver badge

          All these years and I have not seen a single useful application based on blockchain.

          1. J. Cook Silver badge

            Yup. I'm still waiting for someone, anyone to give me a good, solid use case for blockchains that isn't already being done better by something else.

            The day that happens, I'll start thinking about maybe using them.

        2. Terry 6 Silver badge

          Re: Grifters all the way down

          Nah. You don't need blockchain for that either. Most scammers seem to get by perfectly well without it.

          It just makes the job more efficient. The benefits of modern technology innit.

  13. Anonymous Coward
    FAIL

    It's scams all the way down

    The physical art market is a scam which relies upon artists and art critics developing a 'reputation' for their art which looks like a child painted it.

    The electronic art market is a scam where artists who can't create physical art try to get money for their photoshopped work.

    NFTs are a scam which promise resale value for screenshots.

    NFT providers are a scam who get into and go out of business without any regulation.

    Just look at Sina Estavi who bought Jack Dorsey's first tweet for $2.9m, offered it for sale at $48m, and got a high bid of $277.

    1. Terry 6 Silver badge

      Re: It's scams all the way down

      Thing is, OK art (or Art) will never have much intrinsic value. And much of the value it does have is fashion lead (anyone who's ever watched a few episodes of Bargain Hunt will have seen one of those times when the auctioneer will be saying of some beautiful object "10 years ago that would have fetched £900 at auction, but now it's only worth about £3.50). But a physical object does have some intrinsic value and some possibly subjective but real intangible value (aesthetic value if you like).

      This is considerable less so if it's a piece of art designed to shock or incite you. Think Banksy, who's stuff is clever graffiti,stencil sprayed on a wall. Even less intrinsic value if it's a digital design that can be endlessly reproduced. But if it's just an NFT, knocked out because it's, well, saleable the intrinsic value is nil. As to the aesthetic value, hmmm. There seem to be a lot more NFTs than there are talented creators wanting to produce actual Art in the form of NFTs....

      1. Neil Barnes Silver badge
        Holmes

        Re: It's scams all the way down

        Given the amount of art which is either forged, faked, or simply made in a style similar enough to the alleged original artist that it can't be told apart without extreme investigation into its materials, age, previous owners, sales history and in some cases final appeal to a self-appointed panel of experts in that particular artist;

        and given the difference in 'value' between such articles if they are pronounced 'original';

        it's clear that the art market is nothing about collecting art, and everything about collecting artists.

        1. Franco Bronze badge

          Re: It's scams all the way down

          I'll no doubt attract downvotes for this, as I do every time I criticise him, but this is entirely why "Banksy" exists. The image is entirely used to sell shite to gullible idiots. As Charlie Brooker puts it, his work looks dazzlingly clever to idiots.

          1. tezboyes

            Re: It's scams all the way down

            Sadly no opportunity to both Up and Down vote !

            Banksy is clever, but his work at best is meant to be street art. We visited Bristol a few years ago, and completely by chance noticed one high up on a wall, it was a lovely little surprise - then move on.

            Hence his absolute piss-take of the establishment art world and collectors with that picture that got shredded when purchased.

            1. TimMaher Silver badge
              Coat

              Re: Banksy

              I’ve got some of his art on various Non Fungible Teeshirts. Nice.

            2. Benegesserict Cumbersomberbatch Silver badge

              Re: It's scams all the way down

              Exit Through The Gift Shop bears watching for that reason alone.

              Satire is art. And it becomes high art, at the right level of sophistication.

              1. jake Silver badge

                Re: It's scams all the way down

                --> This Way To The Egress! --> ---> ----> ----->

                The truly dedicated add a beer stand after the egress ...

            3. Tom 7

              Re: It's scams all the way down

              Banksy is just a cartoonist and not as good as many professional cartoonists but his (her?) message is completely destroyed by the art world tearing the sides of buildings to own something that was left in a public space. If Steve Bell had taken to vandalism he's be a billionaire by now!

              1. Eclectic Man Silver badge

                Re: It's scams all the way down

                Well, Banksy can paint too:

                https://www.sothebys.com/en/articles/banksy-devolved-parliament-comes-to-london

          2. Terry 6 Silver badge

            Re: It's scams all the way down

            Some of his (possibly earlier) Banksy stuff was quite funny. A better class of graffiti. I was genuinely amused by one such that I saw before I knew who/what he was and long before I realised that it was by him. Most of it is (IMAO) self-righteous crap. Schoolboy leftism of the Corbynista/SWP sort of political sophistication. But he can draw. And he came to the attention of the fashionable types. Especially the ones who wanted to seem to be be down with da yoof, because he stands out from the other anonymous paint sprayers.

        2. Giles C Silver badge

          Re: It's scams all the way down

          Well with art I take the following view.

          If I like it and the price is (to me) fair then I might buy it.

          I am not bothered about the potential resale value as I am purchasing it to keep as I am not a dealer.

          I have a signed by the artist and participants numbered print (it is of Mike Hawthorn racing at Le Mans) cost me about £150 I think. But it is tangible and hanging on the wall.

          Don’t care what it will be worth in resale but it is mine and nobody can take it away unless they were to break in and know what they are looking at.

          The orginal was for sale but the artist wanted about £2k for it so out of my budget.

        3. Man inna barrel

          Re: It's scams all the way down

          To be fair to some forms of art collection, it is about history. A fake Picasso, even if it is physically indistinguishable from a real Picasso, says very little about the history of Picasso's work. I am talking about art in public museums, rather than locked away in some bank vault. It is unfortunate that museums have to fork out so much money for worthwhile works, because of the actions of art speculators.

        4. Eclectic Man Silver badge

          Re: It's scams all the way down

          The art critic Brian Sewell was being interviewed on some TV program or other, and I recall him describing the 'art world' as "a bunch of shits who are only interested in money". Which was how fakes got to be so 'valuable'. The price was never about what it looked like, but who had created it.

          Although I have to admit that the da Vinci exhibition I saw at the UK's National Gallery years ago was easily the best I have ever seen. I couldn't buy a ticket online, so got in the queue at 6:00, got to the ticket desk at 12:00, bought a ticket of 18:00 entry and spent over 2 hours in the exhibition.

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: It's scams all the way down

        I do wonder if some of the value of some of these antiques comes from rarity value. Some of them are so bloody ugly, and so most of them were destroyed!

        1. Terry 6 Silver badge

          Re: It's scams all the way down

          I'm sure there is an element of scarcity value in this when its craft or antiques. But also the element of changing fashions. Stuff that will have been fashionable when first sold, or it wouldn't have sold, (avocado bathroom suites?) but returns to fashion or becomes part of a new fashion. Stuff my parents threw out in the mid/late 20th C. became "delightfully retro" in the early 21st. And some of that was horrible. Some was quite decent though. Cue cries of "100 quid for that. My parents threw out six of them!"

          1. Franco Bronze badge

            Re: It's scams all the way down

            There was, and indeed still may be for all I know, a mass increase in demand for old bakelite telephones as they became the must-have accessory, even when no one uses land lines anymore.

            1. Terry 6 Silver badge

              Re: It's scams all the way down

              As to that, a lot of people do use, and more to the point actively choose to retain a landline. They're independent of signal strength and for the time being at least, mains electricity. Usually the sound quality is better and they're easier to hold too.

              Apropos of which, this is by and large also a matter of fashion; landlines are so 2017.

    2. Dr_N
      Go

      Re: It's scams all the way down

      'and got a high bid of $277.'

      https://www.reuters.com/technology/bought-29-mln-nft-jack-dorsey-tweet-finds-few-takers-2022-04-14/

      "$6,800 as of Thursday."

      Yay. Go NFTs!!!

    3. John D'oh!

      Re: It's scams all the way down

      'Just look at Sina Estavi who bought Jack Dorsey's first tweet for $2.9m, offered it for sale at $48m, and got a high bid of $277."

      Even then he made a profit as he paid the $2.9m in imaginary money, sorry I mean cryptocurrency.

      1. Terry 6 Silver badge

        Re: It's scams all the way down

        All money is imaginary really. But it's backed by big banks and nations. That banks create money isn't sufficiently well understood by the public. One of the major scams works by telling people that their money is at risk and has to be moved to a new secure account. It works partly because people think their money physically exists as a big pile of cash in a vault.

        In fact it only exists as numbers in a ledger. Banks hold cash to meet day to day withdrawals and legal requirements. But they can create money as a multiple of that cash simply by loaning it as a credit- it's just numbers. It's why run on a bank is such a disaster. Suddenly they have to find actual cash to give to desperate customers. But the cash isn't there. It doesn't exist.

  14. zapgadget
    Coat

    So it's not just me.

    I'm still trying to see how NFTs aren't an utterly brilliant pyramid scheme. Brilliant because there isn't even anything to sell.

    1. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

      Re: So it's not just me.

      It's the same with shares, every month I supposedly bought an ownership stake in America's 500 biggest companies. But when I went to the supermarket and asked them for my bit of Kraft-Heinz they looked at me like I was mad.

      I'm beginning to think this joint stock company stuff is all a big scam.

      I think I'll stick to investing directly in ventures, some chap has a scheme for extracting sunlight from cucumbers - but the details are all a bit hush-hush at the moment

      1. Paul Herber Silver badge

        Re: So it's not just me.

        I suggest people investigate where the sunlight comes from and try to put the cucumbers as close as possible to that source!

      2. tezboyes

        Re: So it's not just me.

        I have a bridge I can sell you ...

        1. ske1fr
          Joke

          Re: So it's not just me.

          A Trans-Fluvial Transit System opportunity. You'll never pull in the marks without the marketing spin...

          1. Jedit Silver badge
            Headmaster

            "A Trans-Fluvial Transit System opportunity"

            Not all bridges cross rivers. It might be a Non-Fluvial Transit system.

      3. Man inna barrel

        Re: So it's not just me.

        "I'm beginning to think this joint stock company stuff is all a big scam."

        Not really. Shares tend to pay dividends. These days, interest rates are so low that your savings are losing money due to inflation. There is a good chance you could beat inflation by putting some of your savings into stocks.

        Investing directly in new ventures can be seriously risky, but the rewards are high when you pick a star. This is the venture capital model. You invest in a diversity of ventures, without really knowing whether they will succeed. Most of them will probably flop, and you lose your investment. If you pick a star performer, then the profits from that pay off the losses, and leave a good deal to spare.

        1. Terry 6 Silver badge

          Re: So it's not just me.

          In that sense it's like the difference between being a bookmaker and a mug punter. The Turf Accountant is betting on most of the Mug Punters losing. With odds adjusted to make sure they do OK themselves. The odds aren't about the chance of the individual Mug Punter's selection winning. They're a measure of the bookmakers' risk exposure.

  15. Barry Rueger

    My get rich quick scheme!

    OK, still hammering out details, but I'm gonna find a way to connect dubious weight loss claims to the block chain, with the before and after photos as NFTed images.

    Oh let the money roll in! It's the American Dream ©!

    1. herman Silver badge

      Re: My get rich quick scheme!

      Eewww, please blur the before shots. On second thought, please blur the after shots also.

  16. Flocke Kroes Silver badge

    Oversimplified explanation

    An NFT for a some digital artwork is roughly similar to provenance documentation for some physical artwork but with some added bonuses:

    1) Maintaining the documentation wastes enormous amounts of electricity.

    2) A Scammer who knows more about computing than you can create a transfer of ownership document for "your" digital artwork that the NFT community will say is authentic.

    1. Tom 7

      Re: Oversimplified explanation

      But is not actually securely connected with the artwork.

      1. hplasm
        Coat

        Re: Oversimplified explanation

        " I'm sorry but your NFT is unavaiable due to an Artwork Outage. Please contact Artwork Support Desk"

  17. Surreal Estate

    Devil's Advocate

    Professor/Boffin: "Let me play devil's advocate…"

    More like "reality's advocate..."

    1. herman Silver badge

      Re: Devil's Advocate

      Well, the devil sure seems to be more real than any god.

    2. Axolotl_fan

      Re: Devil's Advocate

      It's good to see the professor keeping to their job in education

  18. gbchew
    Meh

    Art is just this guy, you know?

    If the ecological impact genuinely concerns you, then choose a low-carbon chain for your NFT, and compare it to the cost of physically manufacturing pretty art widgets in meat space.

    If the economic impact genuinely concerns you, take a hard look at all the other pointless crap in your house, town, country, etc.

    Every commercial product is a scam on some level. If someone paid to make you want it, you got played. At least an NFT (probably) won't end up in the landfill, the ground water, or in your lungs. As artifacts of capitalism go, the NFT can be comparatively harmless when it's built on decent infrastructure.

    All this web3 cruft is, yes, very silly. That said, it's a lot less silly that all the physically manufactured cruft we're already swimming in. If we're going to keep consuming and by-producing, (which we are), then we're going to need to do it in a context that doesn't kill us. That context will have to be virtual.

    1. nintendoeats

      Re: Art is just this guy, you know?

      I bought a hamburger so I could eat it.

      I bought a car so I could go places.

      I bought a stereo so I could listen to music.

      I bought a print so I could look at it.

      I bought a power drill so I could make things.

      I bought a camera so I could take photographs.

      I bought a couch so I could sit on it.

      I bought a lamp so I could see things.

      I bought a graphics card so I could play video games.

      I bought an NFT so I could say I owned it.

      Are you seriously suggesting that the last item on that list is not significantly stupider than the others?

      1. Benegesserict Cumbersomberbatch Silver badge

        Re: Art is just this guy, you know?

        Yes.

        The fraudulent genius of the invention of NFTs is that it invents a class of "ownership" where an owner's title to what they paid for is entirely dependent on someone else's infrastructure that might disappear overnight.

        As if anyone who bought great art in the last two centuries would lose their property if Sotheby's were to go bankrupt.

        1. Neil Barnes Silver badge
          Alien

          Re: Art is just this guy, you know?

          And in ten thousand years, when the visitors from Ophiuci get here, their archeologists are going to be scratching their head organs while they try to work out why a society died out with no-one owning anything at all...

          1. jake Silver badge

            Re: Art is just this guy, you know?

            "when the visitors from Ophiuci get here, their archeologists are going to be scratching their head organs"

            Those aren't head organs, and they aren't scratching. It was a long trip in close quarters, and they don't float that way ...

            "while they try to work out why a society died out with no-one owning anything at all..."

            You may jest, but I know Millennials who seemingly own nothing. They lease their car/home/furnishings/clothing/shoes(!!)/knick-knacks/books ... name it, it's all somebody else's. They don't even own the food in their fridge ... because there is no food in their fridge, just water. They eat out every meal.

            These people pay far more money per month to rent "stuff" than they would if they owned it outright. Makes absolutely no sense, but it seems to be the way kids are doing it these days ... Might be part of the same marketing campaign that sold the plebs on "clouds", no? Or maybe that was just a happy artifact ...

        2. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: an owner's title to what they paid for is entirely dependent on someone else's infrastructure

          Seen the title deeds to your house recently? Hmm?

          It seems to me that it is the reliability and likely lifetime of the infrastructure that matters, not some abstract argument as to whether it should exist or not. HM Land Registry are presumably quite reliable; but some new startup offering NFT's perhaps not so much.

          So I think that if I did happen to want to buy some sort of NFT [1] for any non-trivial sum of money, I'd be wanting to know who verifies it, and their level of integrity and persistence.

          [1] Not very likely at all, but for the sake of argument let us pretend...

  19. Claverhouse
    Devil

    Right-Click Defeat

    Personally, I barely understand computers, except how to use them, so am no expert.

    .

    But ever since I first got on the Internet, I have been deeply amused, and dumbfounded by websites attempting to stop viewers from copying 'their' art.

    Even back then I could think of half a dozen ways --- cache, screenshot, various download tools, etc.; even website copying at the last --- to seize the art were I devoted enough to want it. The paranoid time spent on futile protection is time better spent on improving both the site and life.

    When it comes to Coastal Protection versus the Ocean, I will always bet on the Sea.

  20. Michael Hoffmann Silver badge
    Black Helicopters

    I guess Alistair...

    ... is now also a paid up member of the Shadow Cabal <dramatic music>, which already has such worthies as Kira, Collin, Share, whose YT channels are hilarious for how they expose the insanity of groupthink and the sheer shamelessness of the hucksters.

    1. jake Silver badge

      Re: I guess Alistair...

      There Is No Cabal (TINC).

  21. Pascal Monett Silver badge

    "the process can be secure and run honestly"

    Oh, sure it can be, but that does not guarantee security or honesty.

    Not enough, guv'nor. Not enough.

  22. KBeee
    Facepalm

    A new NFT low?

    How about Medi NFTs???

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ntQYjNxEv2Y

  23. Blackjack Silver badge

    "Web 3.0 is largely trustless"

    I already don't trust it, so trusting it less is no problem.

  24. Ropewash

    Solution

    To the actual validity of artwork ownership would be to actually embed the image data into the token.

    At current ETH gas fees I think that would be around $20000 per megabyte, thereby justifying the stupidly high price of the NFT.

    1. Tom 7

      Re: Solution

      I tend to think of NFTs for physical products as a bit like the brass plaque at the bottom of a picture frame - like the one I have on a photo of my child's first school picture, the brass plaque is "Pablo Picasso 1932"..

      At least the brass has value. The NFT not so much,

  25. John Riddoch

    How NFTs work

    I still think this is the most accurate explanation of NFTs:

    "You sell an idiot nothing and give them bad art as their receipt"

  26. Eclectic Man Silver badge
    Joke

    A NEW OPPORTUNITY JUST FOR YOU!

    HELLO Everybody!

    I have an exciting new opportunity just for YOU.

    Yes, YOU could be the owner of a custom designed NUMBER.

    For small fee I* will personally craft a NUMBER and sell** it to you, and promise that I will not sell the same number to anyone else.

    Unbelievable I know, but YOU could be the owner of your very own NUMBER.

    Please note that NUMBERS are not all equal, some are BIGGER than others, some have SPECIAL PROPERTIES, and you could OWN a NUMEBR that is just as 'SPECIAL' as you are.

    HURRY! HURRY! HURRY! There is only an infinite amount left!

    *I am a mathematician with not only a B.Sc. but also a Ph.D. in MATHEMATICS - the study of NUMBERS.

    **I accept cash***, gold, diamonds, other precious gems and metals

    ***No Roubles, sorry :(, but a multi-million property in central London will do nicely.

  27. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    screwed

    "Hang on, they were thinking, I bought some "exclusive" NFTs and now you're saying there may be millions of identical duplicates out there and I'll have to hire cyber security firms and lawyers to track them all down?"

    The beauty of gullible idiots realizing they've been royally screwed. Priceless.

  28. zapgadget
    IT Angle

    crypto

    "a little bit of nothing attached to another little bit of nothing."

    Come now, cryptographically attached to another little bit of nothing.

POST COMMENT House rules

Not a member of The Register? Create a new account here.

  • Enter your comment

  • Add an icon

Anonymous cowards cannot choose their icon