BOFH: Putting the gross in gross insubordination BOFH logo telephone with devil's horns It's a law as old as the jungle itself: there comes a time when a young lion will desire the pride-leader's role for himself. Tired of being excluded from the full rewards of leader of the pride, bored with the second fiddle role and unhappily familiar with the sharp sting of a cattle …
Tread carefully, sweet BOFH. I hear there's a vacant spot in management that a PFY might try to convince the upper-levels that you might be the best fit for, and get you blackmailed into. If your only options are to accept or leave, the PFY becomes the BOFH either way.
I've once run the gauntlet, got my prize and found it was "not so sweet" after all. Perhaps the PFY should have a re-think on this one... He who stick his neck out risks having his head removed.
That rethink only occurs after experiencing the prize is "not so sweet" after all, it is in the nature of the game.
That rethink only occurs after experiencing the prize is "not so sweet" after all, it is in the nature of the game.
Oh, too true! But a little fatherly advice can go a long way ;-}. Listening to my father saved me from lots of dumb learning moments, especially since most of them were wrapped in humor, but the kernel of truth was there.
After two decades, you think you know someone... then they go and disappoint.
Surely the PFY should know that it's better to be the right-hand man, the grand vizier, than the king? Enough power to influence and push through decisions, but not the first in the firing line when it all goes wrong?
Try to usurp the dominant male, or leave and form your own pride in unsettled territory.
Is it time for the PFY (no longer pimply-faced or youthful) to move to pastures new? To become a BoFH of equal standing, elsewhere? To be replaced by fresh blood, one with unbridled optimism, as yet untainted by reality?
Thus the circle of life repeats...
And here I was anticipating a theme where the PFY planted an Apple AirTag on the BOFH, knowing full well he would only use Android devices. Detection of the AirTag by a custom device would automatically trigger some type of "action", you know, an Apple Standoff Weapon. Perhaps even program the pan-tilt function of the security cameras to track him as he passed, adding to the psychological warfare aspect.
So the PFY moves to pastures new as the BOFH. All is well.
Until, that is, corporate machinations conspire to produce the scenario where one company takes over the other. Again, the situation will dictate there can only be one BOFH.
The decision will be dictated by who survives. Management involvement will only be to endorse the result.
This could be but the opening gambit.
Silicon spray lubricant. An extremely expensive but incredibly useful tool. You spray it inside your server or laptop and the silicon chips will work much faster and generate less waste heat, saving you a fortune in upgrades and power usage. Only available from BOFH Enterprises Inc.
Never teach your PFY all you know
EG.... its friday... and a wander down yonder house of liquid refreshment is due.... PFY is all keen as are the setters (and the hell spawned operators.. but they dont count), however astute ears hear the noise of a mighty airleak in the pnumatic system... given we cant turn the air compressors off until the factory is shut down for the weekend, a selfless BoFH decides to stay behind and repair said leaky pipe... which takes him 15 mins (almost as if he knew exactly where the leak was, and how long and what size replacement airpipe to fix it).... and our BoFH arrives late at the pub where the PFY has got the first round in... and the rounds flow until exactly 1 hour 52 mins after work ends when the BoFH's phone goes and its alledgedly the other half (and not the spare mobile phone at home cunningly programmed to dial the BoFH's mobile at that time) and our hero has to leave the pub and go home...... strangely avoiding buying the next round......
Thus brownie points from the manglement and the PFY is left wondering how come she's had to buy 2 rounds to my none ......
Seems the 'P' and the 'Y' should have been outgrown by now. Maybe time for a replacement?
Sure would like the BOFH end up toe-to-toe with the shenanigans of a new PFY....Pretty Female Yeoman. A whole new set of literary genius for Simon to explore, especially if she is secretly as devious as the BOFH.
'....using her perky personality as a decoy, the bean counters failed to notice the PFY's cattle prod....'
My PFY is a charming 24 yr old lady(our production engineer's niece to be exact)
And being completely corrupted to the dark side by yours truely (not that she's had to go far ;) )
Lets say I keep my work PC and desk securely locked at all times....
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