I'll do it!
I'll just sit right down, pull over my keyboard, & fix every bug in every version of every distro of every package & of every module ever made.
It'll only take me about fifteen minutes, thirty if I fully comment the whole thing.
I have one question though...
What text editor should I use?
*Throws up a fluttery snowstorm of paper tags with the word "SARCASM!" printed on both sides to distract you while I run like hell*