BOFH: What a beautiful classic car. Shame if anything were to happen to it BOFH logo telephone with devil's horns There's been a fire. "Not in the building?!" I gasp at the Boss' smoke-tanned face. "Just outside the building," he says. "I thought you said you'd been IN a fire," the PFY says. "Yes, a fire – IN MY CAR." "Ah, I see. Well, the electrics in 'classic' cars are notoriously unreliable …
This post has been deleted by its author
This post has been deleted by its author
Much more so with the regulations on biometrically compatible photos. I really cannot get rid of the impression that this silly "look at this spot" mark in the photo booth is either not in the correct place or they forgot to tell you at what height your head shold be to look at the aforementioned spot without tilting your face to absurd angles.
I had the questionable luck that i needed to sit in a booth with a steel chair for one certain company. Unable to adjust the height, the outcome looked very much like one of those 1980 cheap movie villains, only lacking the red flashlight from down below....
While you're stressed about remembering the names of everyone in your new job, we'll just send you into the minimum wage security guard who's been given a 15 year old digital camera but don't take more than 5 min because we have to introduce you to your new manager before he runs off for a meeting.
Yes it is. If your company has gone all modern and prints directly onto the badges, rather than laminating the photo on, it'll wear off quite quickly rather than depicting you as a weirdo in perpetuity.
Rather amusingly, my faded, blotchy patch with the merest hint of colour got me into an RAF base having a security alert level of "Red" the other day. I'm not sure that a shiny new badge, depicting me as an insane suicide bomber, would have worked.
Just take look at how long anything printed with any inkjet is supposed to last, then put such prints somewhere sunny, like in the front of the car where it is supposed to multitask as parking slot ID.
Its a bit like those thermal paper receipts, although with some "pigment" inks the fading out seems to take a bit longer.
Well at least you will not need any expiration date on such kind of ID cards.
Somewhere I Do have a beautiful portrait picture used in an ID pass. It was taken by a Police photographer.
I'd missed the bulk photographing session where everyone got a 'snapped' photograph for our new photo-id so had to visit Police HQ for a 1-1 session. Believe me I do wish he had said 'don't look at that wall' before i turned my head.
It turns out he had 2 roles, 'snapping' Photo ID's and taking Scene of Crime photos' guess which were pinned to the wall.
He was also a frustrated artist and spend 15 minutes getting the most attractive picture he could of me. It was almost worth the quick glimpse of gore I was exposed to.
I remember having shared responsibility for printing the passes at a previous job. Similarly, we had a very low-res and inappropriately wide-angled webcam for taking mugshots.
Yet it never ceased to amaze me how anyone working for HR would manage to find a reason (with managerial sign-off) to have their photo updated to their latest favorite snapgrambookspace filtered-beyond-recognition selfie...
"Blackmail is such an ugly word…"
...and so is - by decree of those professionally and permanently offended unindividuals who are unable to stand normal language that has evolved over eons - blacklist, whitelist....
It will be interesting what the word "blackmail" will be force evolved to. "Denymail" or "allowmail" does not really allow a precise interpretation.
My dad had a Morris Oxford also. As a small child I recall being fascinated by the ox and ford logo on the steering wheel... and the delicate green stripes along the waistline, where my dad's inexpert yellow painting of the top half of the car dripped into the inexpert blue painting of the lower half...
My Father had a Frogeye Sprite back in the days when he had just started work (I believe as an engineer for EMI when they used to actually make things). He was always bemoaning that he had sold it when it became impractical due to babies.
Of course the reality at the time would have been that he had no option but to sell it......
It is only year later when they became desirable classic cars.
There was also a story about him and his brother loading a milling machine into an Austin 7 to take back to their Dad's garage. The spare engine for that car lived in the old air-raid shelter in the garden along with all sorts of other "useful" junk.
A solution to the briefly mentioned https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hodge_conjecture is worth $1,000,000, as it's one of the https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Millennium_Prize_Problems (along with P versus NP and five others). Well done to the PFY for knowing this.
Not exactly forgiving... There's a constant Cold War between BOFH and PFY running in the background, it simply doesn't get featured as much as it used to in the past.
And there's a certain amount of pragmatism involved.. If the PFY doesn't try to Unseat the BOFH in a pro-active career move, he is obviously unfit for duty and needs to...go... But training up a new PFY is troublesome and actual...work... It's a precarious balance..
At the college where I taught HR required all sorts of identification even though I already worked there. I brought passport, SS card, university ID etc. and they couldn't find anything wrong.
A few days I got a call from HR that I needed ID for some paperwork I had already processed. I pointed out that I had shown them all of these documents when I was there but they said, "but you didn't show it when we were processing the second set of paperwork." (Short time memory) (Why didn't they ask for it when I processed the second batch of paperwork?)
When I changed job title from associate professor to lecturer, they wanted a police report even though the only murders had been committed by full professors.
Lovely cars, would have had a dynamo though. Only ever had one car short-circuit and that was my own fault for having wired the radio in without having bolted it properly in place...
Mind at least the Cambridge probably had negative earth making fitting radios easier than in my older less rusty positive earth Morris cars
My experience with Santander: Made online transaction a bit larger then normal (but to account I had previously sent to). Account blocked. Online unblocking needed details of recent transaction - there were none on this account. Went to branch. Passport was not enough to prove ID. Needed debit card which I couldn't find. Alternative was someone at branch who knows me to confirm ID. I don't know anyone at branch, doing 99% online.
1.5h later, sorted. Sigh.
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