The Barrels
Worker 1: What are all those barrels with the blinking red light and antennas on their side all around the plant for ?
Worker 2: I heard a rumour that it is part of the half M.A.D. final solution.
Worker 1: huh ?
Worker 2: There is some kind of super hive mind AI inside each and every one that live streams US TV via satellites 24/7, the "intelligence" mostly watches CNN and NBC. If ever Carson Daly goes off air, the $#1t will hit the fan big time. Or if the internet goes down, or the satellites are destroyed by space junk, or someone forgets to pay the streaming subscription, or the SSL certificates expire, or ...
Worker 1: What ? No, no, what I meant like what is in them ? And what do you mean by the final half M.A.D. solution.
Worker 2: The safety label on the side says that they are totally safe, that they are filled with sugar, spice and all things nice. But if I put a Geiger counter near them it goes totally bat$#1t crazy. A M.A.D. solution is Mutually Assured Destruction, they were meant to install barrels just like these in all the Silicon fabs worldwide. But the European union opted out, something to do with their RoHS (Restriction of Hazardous Substances) directive, where they want to keep their citizens safe for some insane reason. And the US says that they do not need to bother that they have been dumping all their toxic waste in the water, air and soil for the last two centuries and that a few extra barrels will not make things any worse. So yea, everywhere "was" meant to have them, but currently it just us, there is no absolutely no reason for it to be called M.A.D. (I suspect it is just marketing - S.A.D. and T.A.D. did not play well with the test group study), now it is just us - but some people do think that the idea is mad as in totally bat$#1t insane.
Worker 1: So is that why all the management are working from home these days ?
Worker 2: How the hell would I know I only work here, they never tell us anything. I only found out about them when I had to swipe the dude who was installing them into the building.
Worker 1: Should I be worried that they have a sticker on them saying Intel inside and fully compatible with Windows 11 ?