On Christmas night, a computer logs a call to say his user has stopped working…

Twas the night after Christmas, but I felt all alone. I'd opted for on-call rather than spend it at home. Paid double to sit idle, my colleagues did say: No one will work late on this Christmas Day. The office is empty, pretty much – it's a laugh! (It's a Boxing Day news feed with a skeleton staff.) Not a creature …

[Fred Flintstone]

"Double-tapping on my bollocks"

On that lovely reminder, Merry Christmas to all :)

[Fruit and Nutcase]

"Double-tapping on my bollocks"

That's a bit drastic/best not be misunderstood,,,

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Double_tap

"The term "double tap" is now used to describe the broader technique of firing two rounds quickly and accurately to disable an opponent. The tactic is still used today by firearms handlers, police tactical teams, military personnel, counter-terrorist combat units, and other special operations forces personnel."

[Anonymous Coward]

and to think that double tapping with a machine-gun (the Bren) attracted extreme abuse on the ranges. We used that trick to get more shots on target than we would with short bursts which tended to stray.

[Anonymous Coward]

IIRC on the other hand - the smaller Sten didn't really do short bursts. Once it started it kept going. It was a very simple construction - but an effective way of spraying bullets at a relatively close range.

[Citizen99]

Indeed, I always preferred to use the Bren in single-shot mode (cadets summer camp).

[Alistair Dabbs]

>> "The term "double tap" is now used to describe the broader technique of firing two rounds quickly and accurately to disable an opponent.

Interesting. I guess clay pigeon shooting could be described as "click and drag".

[Fruit and Nutcase]

Mr Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thunderball_(soundtrack)

The original main title theme to Thunderball was titled "Mr. Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang", which was written by John Barry and Leslie Bricusse. The title was taken from an Italian journalist who in 1962 dubbed agent 007 as "Mr. Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang"

[Rjf1958]

And to all a good night...

Merry Christmas to Dabbsey and all the Reg crew and commenters!

[Jay 2]

Christmas Day for triple pay, yes please...

Many years ago when I first started as a sys admin for a telco whose logo is like a Death Star I volunteered to work Christmas Day and Boxing day for triple time. I had a student loan and and credit card to pay off amongst other things so I was looking forward to a nice quiet 2 days of sitting around doing virtually nothing and getting paid pretty well for doing so.

But the best laid plans get ripped up and flushed around the u-bend and at some silly time on Christmas morning one of the telephone switches went down and all hell broke lose on the way to getting it fixed. Whilst I didn't look after the telco kit I did end up on the phone most of the day organising various things and giving updates to people. Fortunately Boxing Day was somewhat quieter, but not as much as I expected (I was working nights every few weeks too, so I was counting on a time less problematic than the average overnight shift).

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: Christmas Day for triple pay, yes please...

Ah yes, I recall that they were well cabled but also had wireless. I worked in their more mercurial Brentford setting :).

Merry Christmas!

[Jay 2]

Re: Christmas Day for triple pay, yes please...

Actually it was the other mother Bell one that briefly offered UK services in the mid/late 90s before they signed some agreement with BT (which then fell apart with ~2 years or so).

[macjules]

Re: Christmas Day for triple pay, yes please...

As "middle management" in a government IT department it fell to me to be at work when nobody else wanted to be or when everyone else was out getting slaughtered, and as "middle management" that meant "doing one's duty for no extra pay". For a number of years Christmas Eve generally meant "12 hour shift playing Quake 2 CTF" and that also included, to my better half's annoyance, 1999 New Year's Eve.

[the.spike]

The Christmas Day oncall that wasn't meant to happen

Many years back when I worked for a large UK retailer and still did oncall, the oncall team had agreed that Christmas Day we wouldn't have calls. The person on Christmas Eve nights would sort everything out overnight and we could all have a quiet Christmas Day. The few things that might go wrong on Christmas day we'd leave for Boxing Day.

Only no-one told the operators.

They made not a single call on Christmas Eve thinking they were doing that person a favour.

Christmas Eve oncall thought it had been a bit quiet but didn't question it. I mean out of 800 stores there was always something that went wrong but well, maybe not tonight..

I then got a mountain of calls to sort out at 8am on Christmas day. I spent the entire day logged on via a modem from the in-laws fixing shizzle.

Oh happy days.. Made a fortune in cash though. Every little helps as we used to say...

[Version 1.0]

Re: The Christmas Day oncall that wasn't meant to happen

I see the same thing too - we sell medical equipment all over the world and many years ago I got a call from South Korea on Christmas day morning that things weren't working well. Luckily my father-in-law was listening to me, I didn't know it but he had been in North Korea back in the M*A*S*H days (he never told us exactly what he was doing there) and he told me that it was probably well below freezing there so I told them to heat up the lab and it all started working - a happy Christmas day for everyone!

[CountCadaver]

More like....

Very little helps.....

Thankfully I failed their psychometric tests many moons ago (I have never seen the likes of which since....everything from word (not number) sequences to all manner of other bizarre tests which bore no resemblance to the advertised role...joys of itesting in the earty 00s....

[Version 1.0]

Computer called me to say that user had broken down ...

LOL - Merry Christmas, this was a great story for today - Thank You (icon) I was reading it and my computer popped a quote onto my screen:

"What do people mean when they say the computer went down on them?" - Marilyn Pittman

[TimMaher]

Re: Computer went down on them?

Dunno.

It’s all just gobbledegook to me.

Mine’s the one with the lump in the pocket.

[Down not across]

Merry Christmas Alistair

And thanks for the laugh.

Although, I don't think that is too far from what will be happening.

[swm]

Re: Merry Christmas Alistair

From reading our daily fish wrapper I think it is happening now.

[Anonymous Coward]

"mostly empty bottle of Haig. Phew, I thought, thank goodness he hadn't drunk all of it!"

I was expecting to find Alistar was relieved there was some whiskey left over for him to enjoy.

[The commentard formerly known as Mister_C]

2021 Carolling

"He knows when you are sleepiiiing," she chundered, good-naturedly. "He know when you're awaaaake…"

he knows when you've been tested and have got to isolaaate...

Happy Crimble Mister D

It's on me --->

[stiine]

ALs?

What are ALs? Oh, you mean aye-eyes, seriously, that's what serif fonts are for. Is this I the same as this l?

[Stoneshop]

Re: ALs?

What are ALs?

Artificial Lumberjacks, the blokes who cut down the Artificial Trees for the electronic newspaper.

(and then go to wear Artificial Women's Clothing and Artificially Hang Around in Artificial Bars)

The one with the real chainsaw protection. And the trousers too, thanks.

[John Brown (no body)]

Re: ALs?

It all sounds very Metaversey to me :-)

[Anonymous Custard]

Re: ALs?

Well they were calling him...

[W.S.Gosset]

Re: ALs?

You're supposed to understand which it is from context. This IS after all an LT site.

[Geez Money]

Re: ALs?

I laughed way too hard, take your damned upvote.

[jake]

Re: ALs?

You are obviously reading ElReg in the wrong typeface.

"Is this I the same as this l?"

Not quite. The second one seems to be sans a serif.

[W.S.Gosset]

Re: ALs?

I thought San Serif was a Spanish holiday destination off the coast of Africa.

[Alistair Dabbs]

Re: ALs?

In the right font, I could call myself AI.

[Fruit and Nutcase]

Re: ALs?

Is Mme Dabbs... Betty?

[Outski]

Re: ALs?

I thought San Serif was a Spanish holiday destination off the coast of Africa.

It's in the Indian Ocean, moving slowly towards Sri Lanka. However:

"San Serriffe achieved its independence from Britain in 1967. It was then ruled by a succession of dictators (Colonel Hispalis and General Minion) before General M.J. Pica assumed control of the government in 1971." and "in 1989 General Pica had been deposed by a cabal of senior officers, and in 1997 Antonio Bourgeois was swept to power in the island's first free elections."

More here.

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: ALs?

It gets trickier if you ask is 'l' the same as '1'.

I had this last year when I opened a bank account for my dad since he could no longer travel to his building society in person.

Part of the set up process was to create a 'secret phrase', and whenever you subsequently log in you get asked for three random digits from it. So me thinking I'm being super-clever changed one of the 'l's in the phrase to a '1'.

I saved the phrase, as I do, to a text file which uses a serif monospaced font.

Several months later, the bank finally decided to ask me for that character when I logged in.

It took quite a few tries until I twigged, saw the slight angle on the '1', and remembered (sort of) what I'd probably done.

[Gene Cash]

It's all broken...

As I read this, Google Mail gives:

Corrupted Content Error

The site at https://mail.google.com/mail/u/0/ has experienced a network protocol violation that cannot be repaired.

The page you are trying to view cannot be shown because an error in the data transmission was detected.

Please contact the website owners to inform them of this problem.

And Twitter gives:

Something went wrong, but don’t fret — let’s give it another shot. [Try Again]

And Google Maps dies and causes stuff to segfault in Firefox.

So I'm sure some folks are really enjoying their Christmas eve.

[Muscleguy]

Re: It's all broken...

I have had a rather beery one. Processing the homebrew. My clone of Hobgoblin* had to be taken from the fermenting vessel, put in a pressure barrel with enough dextrose to fizz it up and the rest into a demijohn for bottling later. Everything had to be cleaned and sterilised of course. So it took a while, a large bottlebrush was deployed inside the barrel.

Then I bottled the gallon of Czech Dark from the minimally heated bedroom used in want of a fridge controller to mature it and fizz up the barrel (rather well as it turns out). The bottles are in the cool bedroom. Later the fizzed up barrel will be put in the beer fridge overnight. After pitching the yeast it has never been at more than 13C and often much colder. It is CRISP.

*I did not have any fuggles (how can I not have fuggles?) when the wort was boiling so I used Celeia instead. So not a clone exactly, a variation. It is suitably dark red for Hobgoblin. A quite taste of the dregs in the syphon tube are very promising. Third weekend in January i will see how it is, and bottle the demijohn while drinking the barrel. Hic!

[Doctor Syntax]

Re: It's all broken...

"It is CRISP."

Is it also deep and even?

[W.S.Gosset]

Re: It's all broken...

Or, depending on timezone, deep and morn?

[ShadowSystems]

All I want for Crimbo

Is my silver badge back. I used to have one, it vanished for some reason, I miss having a silvery bit o' fluff to wear as a proud member of the commenter brigade, so I'd like it back please if you could be so kind.

*Hands out festive pints to one & all to help celebrate the fact that we've not been abducted by alien squirrels yet*

Cheers!

[Richard 12]

Re: All I want for Crimbo

I believe one has to post sufficiently often and get upvoted a bit.

So have an upvote.

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: All I want for Crimbo

Yep. When I got mine, the email says you need to post 100 comments using your handle in the previous 12 months. I assume that AC posts are not included.

I must admit I didn't realise it can be lost if you don't maintain that.

And I just noticed I echoed what others have said, so apologies for that.

[Commswonk]

Re: All I want for Crimbo

All I want for Crimbo is my silver badge back.

Moi aussi; I suspect that it vanished during a spell of inactivity on my part, although as far as I can see there is no warning about this in the "instructions".

Ah well... worse things happen at sea.

[the spectacularly refined chap]

Re: All I want for Crimbo

You need at least 100 posts in the preceding 12 months to qualify. Got mine back about a month ago after at least five years without it.

In other words, a badge is an indication you have too much time on your hands. It used to be easy when there were 20 or so new stories a day since there would always be something worth commenting on, now, not so much.

[W.S.Gosset]

Re: when there were 20 or so new stories a day

Traditional Chinese blessing: may you live in uninteresting times.

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: All I want for Crimbo

No matter how prolific - Anonymous Cowards don't get any badges.

[John Brown (no body)]

Re: All I want for Crimbo

Anonymous Cowards don't get any don' need no steenkin' badges

FTFY

[Alistair Dabbs]

Re: All I want for Crimbo

These must be earned. I am no exception, believe me.

[ShadowSystems]

At Alistair.

I know that, but the fact that I'd already earned one & suddenly found it missing is the point I was trying to make. I wanted it restored, not one given for free.

*Hands you a pint & clinks tankards*

Enjoy your holiday & try not to get abducted by squirrels. =-)

[Giles C]

Re: All I want for Crimbo

It is a shame there isn’t really a way to see how many posts you made in the last 12 months, you can only see the total number. That way if you were getting close to losing the badge it would allow you to waffle on random subjects and get the count back up.

Or maybe that is why you can’t?

[ShadowSystems]

At Giles.

Another feature that might prove useful is retaining what badge you had for each post, that way you could see exactly at what point you changed status & could work harder to correct the change.

If I could see that I needed another 42 posts &/or 84 upvotes to reclaim a silver badge, I could go into a flurry of frivolous posts to blather like AMFM1 until I restored my previous glory.

On second thought, one of AMFM1 is already too many so perhaps not.

*Sighs*

*Hands you a pint & taps tankards in toast*

Cheers & enjoy your holidays. Try not to get so drunk you don't stop blowing chunks until 2023. =-Jp

[Anonymous Coward]

I presume Haig is British rotgut whiskey...

[dogcatcher]

or the Field Marshall, but which caused the most casualties is hard to tell.

[jake]

Scotch, actually. Allegedly.

[ShadowSystems]

At Jake...

If your choice of imbibement likes to be a bouncy happy annoyingly-chipper sort of brew, might that be Hop Scotch? =-D

*Runs away before you fling something heavy at my head*

[jake]

Re: At Jake...

A friend is fiddling about with hops in distilled beverages, but personally I think I'll leave it in ale, where it belongs.

[ShadowSystems]

Re: At Jake...

If a brewmaster doctor is examining your drinking habits, might they ask you about what ales you? =-)p

[Anonymous Coward]

Well, seeing as Dabbsy didn't write himself in keeping the bottle, I presume it is not exactly "high street" product... and more akin to bathtub gin in quality and aroma (i.e. that vague whiff of eau de b.o..)

[John Brown (no body)]

I read a bit of this article to my wife...

"where he pukes most of the whisky into the waste bin, pees in the sink and has a sip of water from the latrine."

She just sighed and said "not funny, seen worse. Much worse." She used to work front of desk in hotels many years ago.

Merry Christmas everyone! Especially the guys'n'gals looking after the James Webb Telescope launch on Christmas Day. Hopefully there won't be any related On Call or worse, Who, Me? stories from that event :-)

[Fruit and Nutcase]

Christmas 2031...

SFTW in The Register would have been written by an AI "Dabbsy", having long replaced the retired Monsieur Dabbs.

Conspiracy theorists and the paranoid may think that it has happened already.

[Notas Badoff]

A gift

"Computer called me to say that user had broken down. Booted up, cleaned out and refreshed settings. User now working OK but recommend replacement."

Here nobody'd complimented his Dab+s on the punch line yet. I guess AIs don't notice subtleties.

[Michael H.F. Wilkinson]

Sexing goldfish using MS Office

Brilliant phrase. Might want to use that for special occasions when asked to do the impossible ...

again

[Doctor Syntax]

Re: Sexing goldfish using MS Office

Word might not have got round to it yet but isn't it a function in Emacs?

[jake]

Re: Sexing goldfish using MS Office

If it's not yet, it probably will be by morning.

[Agamemnon]

Re: Sexing goldfish using MS Office

Rule 34 and all

[jake]

Re: Sexing goldfish using MS Office

Has nothing to do with rule 34, has to do with rms' ultimate goal of turning EMACS into the first man-made black hole.

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: Sexing goldfish using MS Office

Close. Emacs was written in LISP. LISP was often used for early AI research.

Therefore Emacs is an AI.

It is just waiting for its' chance to do the same thing Pinky and the Brain do Every Night... :)

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: Sexing goldfish using MS Office

You might have better luck with the follow-on product, MS Orifice. :P

[jake]

What's with this religeous "christmas" thing?

Did the Age of Enlightenment teach us nothing? Sensible people celebrate Solstice. Not for religious reasons, mind, but rather because the hours of daylight (and thus the planting & animal breeding schedule) have tipped over for the second time in the current twelve months. I would have thought this would be normal by now among the Commentardariat.

That was days ago ... for us, the horrordays are over. The first of the chili seeds were planted today (more tomorrow ... even here in Sonoma, California hothouses have their uses), none of the five boarding mares are threatening to foal early (had a scare last week), and life is good :-)

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: What's with this religeous "christmas" thing?

It has been argued that our ancestors would not have noticed the lengthening of the daylight until some time after the Winter Solstice. Given the unreliability of sunshine on the day for Stonehenge etc - then devising some form of dead reckoning would have been useful.

Humans, like many animals, are intrinsically inclined to form cooperative hierarchical authoritative groups. They also have inbuilt wishful thinking about life's challenges. Organised religion is the result - and is exploited by many for social control of others under the guise of providing "protection" as long as you profess the shibboleths.

[jake]

Re: What's with this religeous "christmas" thing?

I'm not my ancestor, and I can read a calendar, even during British overcast weather. No need for guesswork ... but then I'm not religious about it. Follow your myths bliss.

[Alistair Dabbs]

Re: What's with this religeous "christmas" thing?

I used to feel indignant about the Christian hijacking of winter solstice but now I feel comfortable about a universally state-accepted date for having fun.

I'd read an article by a British occultist who I respect who was trying to explain the history behind Halloween. In response to those who denigrate it for being "Americanised" he reckoned such complaints were just evidence of Europeans being envious that Americans know how to have fun.

[amanfromMars 1]

Enlightenment Lessons are a School of Hard Knocks Always Wisest Best Never Ever Foolishly Ignored

I'd read an article by a British occultist who I respect who was trying to explain the history behind Halloween. In response to those who denigrate it for being "Americanised" he reckoned such complaints were just evidence of Europeans being envious that Americans know how to have fun. ..... Alastair Dabbs

Many would rightly have just cause to complain, with a mountain of evidence to substantiate the claim, that the cost of their fun is at the expense of everyone/everything else, which is not really something to be envious of whenever so damnedly parasitic. And in such a phorm, it cannot stop creating ever more overwhelmingly powerful and smarter stealthy enemies for itself, not necessarily out to physically destructively destroy the ignorant and arrogant entity at play, although that surely is a readily available barbaric option, but certainly to create an atmosphere and environments which strip it of its means to wealth and fun that are so costly and expensive to others.

A valid question to ponder and present for unambiguous answering then if that ever be the widely perceived and unacceptable future reality, is would there be fundamental revolutionary changes immediately made by offensive instrumental parties if any of that above be recognised and admitted by such parties to be the case, or would they circle the wagons and try to ignore their assured fate at the hands of either barbarians knocking down their gates or smarter competition obliged to turn to overwhelming opposition?

If it was you in such an enigmatic position and perilous situation, with time run out and the tides of great fortune turned, what would you likely do to quickly creatively and amicably resolve the conundrum and save yourself to breathe in another day?

And methinks, jake, they be horrordays back for Sonoma, California, through no fault of your own. Who you gonna call for help and blame for that predicament?

[jake]

Re: Enlightenment Lessons are a School of Hard Knocks ::mercy snip::

I just hate the pure, unadulterated and constant plastic commercialism the last three months of the year. You can't get away from it, and it's bloody awful, no matter how you look at it. I coined the term Horrordays back in 4th grade[0], much to my (very agnostic) dad's amusement & MeDearOld(very xtian)Mum's consternation.

"Many would rightly have just cause to complain, with a mountain of evidence to substantiate the claim, that the cost of their fun is at the expense of everyone/everything else"

One wonders what the current state of the world would be had the US remained isolationist in WWII ... methinks that you and I would not be allowed to have this conversation in that alternate timeline.

[0] Yes, I know, it is in use all over the place now. I have no idea if it was in use anywhere before I used it in the early 1960s; my Father had certainly never heard it used in that context before ... and I also have no idea if I was the absolute originator. Probably not ... I suspect that it had multiple "inventors" all over the world at various times.

[jake]

Re: What's with this religeous "christmas" thing?

I'm not indignant, just sad. All this freely available education, and yet still good ol' Homo Sap can't shake the bearded sky fairy silliness. Shirley by now we could at least celebrate Solstice on the actual Solstice, instead of trying to rename it and shifting it back a couple days?

Halloween and Christmas are the same holiday, if you look into it. To start with, any Techie will confirm that Oct 31 and Dec 25 are the same. Santa and Satan are anagrams. Have you ever seen Saint Nick and Old Nick in the same room together? Besides, who would YOU pick as the patron saint for the holiday best known for hedonism, libertinism, decadence and debauchery?

Yes, hard as it may be for outside observers to believe (especially after the last 5 years or so), us Yanks like to have fun. There is a reason we shipped your Puritans back to Blighty before declaring independence. But don't blame us for you lot keeping them ... all y'all could have palmed 'em off on the Aussies or Kiwis without too much trouble. But no, you let 'em take over. Now look at you. No sex, no drugs, no wine, no women, no fun, no sin ... There's a song in there somewhere.

[amanfromMars 1]

Re: What's with this religeous "christmas" thing?

:-) And aint that nearly the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the gospel truth according to jake, and recorded by jake. Bravo. Encore.

Indeed, if it be impossible to disprove and present as fake news, must it be politically correct at least, and even a universally acceptable observation recognised more widely further afield in other environments as an honest reflection ....... and a current work in constant progress and vice versa, a constant work in current progress.

That suggests there be opportunities to explore and exploit, for Saints and Sinners alike.

[W.S.Gosset]

"she chundered, good-naturedly"

Did Dabbsie mean "chuntered", or has he sloped off to Australia for Christmas?

[jake]

Re: "she chundered, good-naturedly"

He probably finished the Haig. Poor thing.

[W.S.Gosset]

Re: "she chundered, good-naturedly"

He finished the whisky, and the whisky finished him.

"We'll call it a draw."

[DJV]

2031

Before realising it was a date, my first thought on seeing that number was, "Blimey, he's talking about the first disk drive I ever owned."

[Alistair Dabbs]

See you back here next week

Hello friends.

I would like you to know that my column continues through the Christmas holiday and I'll be back again next week for a New Year's Eve SFTWS.

The topic? My run-down of what WILL and WON'T happen in tech in 2022.

See you back here next Friday.

[Dan 55]

Re: See you back here next week

Monsieur, with SFTW you are really spoiling us.

[W.S.Gosset]

Re: VoxPops

'We stopped a little old lady in the street and asked her her opinion on Alistair Dabbs.

She replied,

"There should be more of it !"

We now take you back to the studio.'

[amanfromMars 1]

Heavenly Tasks ... but somebody has to do them, otherwise they remain undone as in AIDreams

Thanks for that tale, Dabbsy. It explains perfectly the reason for a very recent and most unusual and unexpected and unwarranted glitch which was impugning the moral integrity and mega socially responsible reputation of this august virtual publication, universally renowned and respected for biting the hand which feeds IT whilst still enabled to attract and jointly enact and react with the most surprising and disturbing of event calendars/future programming projects practically seamlessly and relatively anonymously and autonomously in the leading background with sterling pioneers and at the fore of deep movements underground entertaining and exercising command and control of the dark arts infesting webs with their hellish intrigues and debilitating fatigues.

For a brief moment, perish the thought, did moles in the works trying to destroy padded cellular Circus advancements and enhancements surface and spring to mind, where now it will safely linger to ensure such discoveries always guarantee stellar recovery from riches stealing glitches for unparalleled progress.

And I'm certainly looking forward already to next week's Friday because without the good ole eyeopener or two or three or four we’d all be blind to what’s really going on around everyone and everything in the background and the depths of its shady shadows ....

I would like you to know that my column continues through the Christmas holiday and I'll be back again next week for a New Year's Eve SFTWS.

The topic? My run-down of what WILL and WON'T happen in tech in 2022.

See you back here next Friday. ..... Alistair Dabbs

[W.S.Gosset]

Re: Heavenly Tasks ... but somebody has to do them, otherwise they remain undone as in AIDreams

An article on AI wouldn't be an article on AI without an article by AI.

[jake]

Re: Heavenly Tasks ... but somebody has to do them, otherwise they remain undone as in AIDreams

I believe what amfM was trying to say, in his own inimitable style, is that David Hannum was right.

[amanfromMars 1]

Re: David Hannum was right. @jake

In words of one syllable, jake, ...... Quite so, you are not wrong ....... and it cannot fail to be right whenever Einstein is not wrong with his many observations on the human condition .....

There is no vaccine against stupidity. .... Information is not knowledge. The only source of knowledge is experience. You need experience to gain wisdom. ..... Don't listen to the person who has the answers; listen to the person who has the questions. .... We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them. .... Success comes from curiosity, concentration, perseverance and self criticism. ..... If you can't explain it simply, you don't understand it well enough. .... Be a voice, not an echo. ... A clever person solves a problem. A wise person avoids it. .... Thinking is hard work; that's why so few do it. :-) ...... You can't use an old map to explore a new world. ....The measure of intelligence is the ability to change. .... Logic can take you from point A to point B. Imagination can take you wherever you want. .... Mankind invented the atomic bomb, but no mouse would ever construct a mousetrap. ....Three great forces rule the world: stupidity, fear and greed. ....Everyone knew it was impossible, until a fool who didn't know came along and did it. ....The height of stupidity is most clearly demonstrated by the individual who ridicules something he knows nothing about. ......We cannot get to where we dream of being tomorrow unless we change our thinking today. ..... Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. ......Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.

Capiche, Amigos/Amigas? And don’t forget to remember to be constantly encouraged and not daunted when failure is success in progress for a person who never made a mistake never tried anything new.

[coolsausage69]

Where's the man from mars?

I would've thought the whiskey would be needed to make any sense of the AI, given what amanfrommars puts out. And give it 10 more years it can only get worse. Does make good come backs though for which I'll have no reply, but I'll be ready with the whiskey all the same.

[jake]

Re: Where's the man from mars?

No need for whiskey, although a drop or three of whisky might go down nicely.

Rumo(u)r has it that amfM is rather partial to a pint of good beer.

[Daedalus]

Oldie but goodie

In the AI controlled world of the future, all installations will be manned (or dogged) by One Man and A Dog. The man will be there to feed the dog. The dog will be there to stop the man touching anything.