back to article Desktop bust and custom iPhone 13 Pro made from melted-down Tesla car for the Elon Musk dork in your life

Here's one for those with their heads crammed so far up Elon Musk's arse they see the light when he yawns – a desktop bust and custom iPhone 13 Pro design dedicated to the billionaire meme machine, both allegedly made from the molten body parts of a Tesla car. One doesn't have to scroll far down anything the Tesla and SpaceX …

  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    "Here's one for those with their heads crammed so far up Elon Musk's arse they see the light when he yawns"

    That the best comment I have seen in years!!! I really don't get the hero worship, what has he actually done? Nothing! All Elon has done is hire others to do things.

    People used to worship Bill Gates but at least he had his hands dirty and wrote his early products.

    1. Snowy Silver badge
      Holmes

      What has me done

      I hear he is very good at getting government money.

      Edit: The best thing he could do is sort out lithium-ion battery recycling as right now there are a lot of used batteries around.

    2. Snake Silver badge

      RE: worship

      The low people worship money, of which Elon "Foot in Mouth Syndrome" Musk now has plenty of.

      That's all these Darwin candidates care about.

    3. pavel.petrman

      Some say

      Some say Musk got his hands dirty in his early products, too, namely in portions of PayPal software. I use the accounts on him pulling his weight in his startups to give an example to my fellow software developers how one _doesn't_ work in a team with long term goals in an established industry. The same goes for Gates, whose excuse is that he actually did much of the establishing.

      1. MachDiamond Silver badge

        Re: Some say

        "Some say Musk got his hands dirty in his early products, too, namely in portions of PayPal software."

        When you look at timelines, you find that Elon didn't work at Paypal. He did hold stock converted from Zip2 (I think), but it's claimed that the software he wrote all had to be redone.

    4. LogicGate

      "what has he actually done? Nothing! "

      ..One word: SpaceX

      No Musk, no SpaceX. It is simple as that.

      The impact of all the other stuff can be discussed until the sun turns into a big red ball of fire, but SpaceX is an achievement that I believe we should not underestimate. And it must be noted that out of all the competing space cowboy billionares, Musk has had all the possibilities for a self glorifying space extravaganza, and he has not succumbed to it.

      That said, The public persona that we see appears to be deeply flawed, and definately not worth a combined bust / novelty buttplug.

      1. ShadowSystems
        Coffee/keyboard

        At LogicGate, re: "novelty buttplug".

        You owe me a new keyboard.

        *Hands you a pint*

        Damn the spit spray, full amusement ahead!

    5. FIA Silver badge

      what has he actually done? Nothing!

      Paypal

      Tesla

      SpaceX

      SpaceX has drastically reduced the cost of access to space. Tesla's work on batteries is interesting.

      The jobsian style cult worship is annoying, and the bloke is unquestionably a bit of a dick, but to say he's done nothing isn't really fair.

      All Elon has done is hire others to do things.

      Sometimes having the force of will to do this is enough.

      People used to worship Bill Gates but at least he had his hands dirty and wrote his early products.

      Bill Gates is a skilled lawyer and a ruthless businessman, his programming skills have pretty much zero to do with the sucess of Microsoft. His astute dealmaking more so.

      (Also, Like Elon, and probably most people who get to be this rich... not a completely nice person either....)

      1. quxinot Silver badge

        If we are going to kneel at the altar of geek, I'll be over at Wozinak's.

        Not the guy who removes features from your car after you buy it.

      2. MachDiamond Silver badge

        Elon wasn't an employee or officer at Paypal.

        Tesla was started by two other people and they were pushed out by Musk.

        SpaceX may charge less for launch services, but they still raise a couple of billion a year from more investors. Perhaps they don't bring in enough to meet their expenses.

        Bill Gates is the master of gorillas. His infamous business deals smack of organized crime more than true business practices. He was never really much of a coder. He bought DOS, had people spruce it up a bit and made it MS-DOS. Apple rummaged through Xerox's R&D and then MS copied Apple on the graphical UI. The inter-breeding habits of past royalty is less nasty.

    6. Lord Elpuss Silver badge

      "I really don't get the hero worship, what has he actually done? Nothing!"

      I'm not surprised you posted this as AC, I wouldn't want to be associated with it either.

      Idiot.

  2. Jimmy2Cows Silver badge
    WTF?

    The bold design of the smartphone echoes the outline of Musk's Teslas

    Maybe, if you've just bombed some particularly strong acid.

    Wait, did they strategically omit "after Autopilot has crashed it into a motorway barrier." from the description?

    1. big_D Silver badge

      Re: The bold design of the smartphone echoes the outline of Musk's Teslas

      They drive along behind Teslas with the moulds and wait for them to burst into flames, letting the bodywork drip into the moulds.

      I just hope that the clearances between the glass and the metal of the housing are within tolerances, unlike many of the Tesla cars...

  3. T. F. M. Reader

    cult-escape.com

    "... a new level for us ..."

    Indeed, brother...

  4. karlkarl Silver badge

    This "visionaries collection"...

    it is a little bit sick and cringy isn't it?

    1. Inventor of the Marmite Laser

      No. It is a lot sick and cringy. An awful lot.

      If taste were a person, it would have probably been sectioned by now.

    2. Youngone Silver badge

      Weird is what it is.

      Their target market seems to be a bit limited because I don't think there are that many people smart enough to get hold of enough money to buy that crap, but stupid enough to actually want to.

      I could be wrong though.

      1. Mark 85 Silver badge

        Their target market seems to be a bit limited because I don't think there are that many people smart enough to get hold of enough money to buy that crap, but stupid enough to actually want to.

        I could be wrong though.

        I think you are wrong. Stupidity knows no limits. I can think of lots of examples where stupid somehow gets money. I'll not go into examples but over the last few years there's lots of examples.

        1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

          ""I think you are wrong. Stupidity knows no limits. I can think of lots of examples where stupid somehow gets money. I'll not go into examples but over the last few years there's lots of examples.""

          You don't need to give examples. Just say "NFT" and that will cover a multitude of sins :-)

      2. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

        It's "limited" to very few items. There are billions of people on this earth. You only need a limited number to think these items will be valuable in the future to make killing. Simple.

  5. devin3782

    The Visionaries Collection, bought entirely by wannabes. Calling musk a visionary is pushing it, an incrementalist yes, visionary no.

    1. Sandtitz Silver badge

      "A visionary, vision is scary"

  6. DwarfPants

    Made of genuine Marketinghypium

    steel-colored but still Aluminum, probably cans and swarf before it was a Tesla

    1. Steve K Silver badge

      Re: Made of genuine Marketinghypium

      Some sort of aluminium homeopathy is implied?

      As you say, who knows what else the aluminium has been in previous lives!

  7. 45RPM Silver badge

    Does Elon Musk have a soul? Did he ever?

    And as for being a waste of a good car, I concede that there’s much to admire about the innovation behind a Tesla - particularly with regard to the battery and motor technology - but a Good Car per se? I dispute that. There are too many childish fripperies, hand waving to distract you from the fact that the build quality isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      My Fiances dad has a 3.

      I don't like the giant screen or lack of buttons but other than that the built quality seems spot on, consistent panel gaps - better than the 3 series I had at any rate (though that was a shit show that was never right, and eventually ended up going back - we swapped company cars from BMW to VW after that which was better but the Passat was just a tad boring).

      His was a Made in China 3 rather than a Made in USA 3 - controversial but maybe that's the difference?

      I know, I know, his autopilot is probably spying on him and reporting back to Beijing all the details of how long he sits in traffic on the M3.

      1. BrownishMonstr

        I imagine they report how many times you raise your middle finger, pick your nose, or sing Winny the Pooh.

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        re: we swapped company cars ... after that which was better but the Passat was just a tad boring

        Just imagine how we feel reading about it.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      we don't make the same mistake.

      Not a wasted car - these were autoplioted Telsa's that had crashed into tractor trailers, firetrucks, etc., and their metal was molded and sculpted by skilled artisans flown in by helicopter, while the iron was still hot. Each one is part of series titled "Sacrifice to Progress", and each contains some of the incinerated remains of the brave pioneers who died so that ...

    3. MachDiamond Silver badge

      "particularly with regard to the battery and motor technology"

      The motor is pretty good. The battery is Panasonic (in the US). Asian companies supply Teslas made in the Shanghai plant.

  8. lglethal Silver badge
    Joke

    The richest businessman in the world? That bust looks nothing like Carlos Slim!

  9. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

    "Seems like a waste of a good car to us"

    I'm sure autopilot has ensured that there are more than enough no-longer-good cars to be recycled into niche products.

    1. Fruit and Nutcase Silver badge

      Every cloud has a silver lining

      Crashed Teslas are a source of motors for power-plant replacement of classic vehicles.

      The only problem is the companies that do that have cornered the market/pay a premium for the parts, pricing out most enthusiasts from obtaining those for their cherished jalopies

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    if you've got everything

    and you want to impress your 'friends' who also have everything, for at least those next few seconds... there's caviar: By bullshitters for bulleaters.

  11. Fruit and Nutcase Silver badge
    Alert

    NSFTF

    (Not Suitable For Tesla Fans)

    Don't look!

    https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/uk-england-norfolk-59408339

    1. Giles C Silver badge

      Re: NSFTF

      I am surprised by the size of the fine on the driver or rather the lack of it.

      That could have killed someone.

      1. Fruit and Nutcase Silver badge

        Re: NSFTF

        Yes, a split-second away from a very bad outcome

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: NSFTF

          What, that the Tesla would have survived this? Yes, indeed.

      2. Falmari Silver badge
        Mushroom

        Re: NSFTF

        @Giles C I am surprised by the fine when "THE MAX PENALTY FOR THIS OFFENCE IF COMMITTED IN RESPECT OF A GOODS VEHICLE IS A £5000 FINE, PLUS 3 PENALTY POINTS AND DISQUALIFICATION".

        Also they could also have charged the driver with "DANGEROUS DRIVING".

        See: https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/857507/safety-loads-on-vehicles.pdf

      3. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: NSFTF

        The driver who nearly died has also stated his disappointment, using rather more restrained language than I would have done:

        https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/uk-england-norfolk-59419664

  12. Kevin McMurtrie Silver badge

    Surplus of melted Teslas?

    It seems a bit early to have so much Tesla scrap that you sell off giant cast slabs of it to the public. The car company isn't that old.

    1. hoola Silver badge

      Re: Surplus of melted Teslas?

      From what I understand they are rarely repaired because they cannot get spare parts so if this is correct it is the ultimate in the throwaway society,

      It may have been on El Reg that there was a reference to the fact that even simple panels are hard to come by.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Surplus of melted Teslas?

        It's not just about getting spare parts, it's also about being able to do something with them. The problem with a chassis in only 3 parts of cast aluminium is that you can't fix any of it - you have to replace the whole busted part. Which you can't get, and even if you could it would be a LOT of labour as you basically have to take the whole car apart. You just can't repair the damn thing.

        Leaving the less than sterling build quality of what is IMHO an overly expensive car aside, this is one of the main reasons I will not buy any EV from Tesla (there are more, but I tend to buy cars to last me for quite some time, and accidents do happen).

      2. MachDiamond Silver badge

        Re: Surplus of melted Teslas?

        "From what I understand they are rarely repaired because they cannot get spare parts so if this is correct it is the ultimate in the throwaway society,"

        That is a problem especially at the end of a quarter when they are pushing for shipping numbers.

        A bigger problem is if you resurrect a Tesla from the remains of several, you will have to take the car to Tesla to be re-annointed or it won't work on a Supercharger, phone app and Tesla service centers won't touch it or sell you parts. The cost is outrageous and there is no checklist you can go by to make sure it will pass. They either like you or you fail. No refunds on the exam if you don't pass. Much like older cars in Japan, getting the full MOT is so expensive that it is better to just get a new car.

  13. Winkypop Silver badge
    Devil

    Boom or Bust

    I’ll take Bust please.

    No, not THE Bust

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    The next generation?

    If only they could harness the power of Nikola Tesla spinning in his grave

    Damn it! That's just another perpetual motion machine, so it has got to be impossible

  15. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Caviar aren’t *that* unknown

    YouTuber MKBHD and others have covered their various other crazy products in some depth. Definitely interesting but all make me wonder “who would buy this?”.

    Check out his video about the iPhone containing a piece of the moon which also feature Neil DeGrasse Tyson.

    1. BrownishMonstr

      Re: Caviar aren’t *that* unknown

      How much bigger does this make the phone?

      Does one then have to buy custom phone cases, at a cost of 100k?

  16. Roger Kynaston Silver badge
    Pint

    Ooh can they make this?

    A double bust with Tim Cook receiving a baton from Steve Jobs complete with a titanium and gold case for the obligatory iThing. They could ask $20000 for that!

    --> Friday

    1. Steve K Silver badge

      Re: Ooh can they make this?

      Was that a euphemism….?

  17. Blank Reg Silver badge

    "Seems like a waste of a good car to us"

    How could it be a waste of a GOOD car, I thought it was made from a Tesla?

    1. quxinot Silver badge

      They're not cars. They're phones with wheels, you throw them away when you're done with them.

  18. Dave559 Silver badge

    "Pannel crafted from remelted Tesla"

    "Pannel [sic] crafted from remelted Tesla"

    "Pannel"? Hmm, kwality product fershure…

    I'm surprised that you can't buy these wondrous things only with bitcoin, for maximum head-up-arsery, it would seem very fitting…

  19. aerogems
    Facepalm

    If anyone has a couple grand burning a hole in their pocket, they're always free to give it to me. I'm sure no matter what I do with it, it will be put to better use than buying these items.

  20. MachDiamond Silver badge

    What's behind door number three?

    A combination of two products I have no interest in owning.

  21. DaemonProcess

    Vertu us?

    I wonder what happened to all those Vertu Nokia's that were comparatively expensive back in the day. I also wonder if the people who bought them actually care.

  22. Joe Loughry

    hectobillionaire, surely

    Or decitrillionaire?

  23. Ken G

    I thought they fixed the batteries

    So they didn't burst into flames and melt down? I guess it's a feature now. I wonder if you can get a fake for less on an Asian auction site?

  24. IGotOut Silver badge

    This worth a listen.

    https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m000xdxb

  25. J27 Silver badge

    Everything Caviar announces is so clearly idiotic that you have to wonder if they do manage to find enough suckers to buy this junk or not.

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