back to article Hey, Walkers. What's the difference between crisps and chips? Answer: You can't get either of them

Potato snack maker Walkers has seen the semiconductor chip shortage and raised it a deep fried crisp* between two oily fingers. The company confirmed to The Register: "A recent IT system upgrade has disrupted the supply of some of our products." From container ships stuck in canals, to worldwide shortages of lorry drivers …

  1. JassMan Silver badge
    Joke

    The crisps are sold under the Lay's brand in the US

    And in France - but that's OK because I preferr Vico™ anyway

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Olestra

    Can never bring myself to eat Crisps branded Olay after the anal leakage stories of the 90s.

    Talking of leaks, any idea what caused the borkage and which software/system(s) they are using?

    1. katrinab Silver badge
      Paris Hilton

      Re: Olestra

      I thought Olay was a South African brand of moisturising creams?

    2. Ace2 Silver badge

      Re: Olestra

      It’s Lay’s, no O.

      1. gotes

        Re: Olestra

        I believe the brand is called "Frito-Lay" in the USA so I'm allowing it for the purpose of joke making.

        1. katrinab Silver badge

          Re: Olestra

          The company is called Frito Lay. They produce Fritos and Lays.

  3. ShadowSystems Silver badge
    Paris Hilton

    A question for Liam...

    A completely off topic question, so please accept a pint beforehand to help lubricate out your answer.

    If you decide to name your child in a contrarian fashion, might that child then be called Un Proven?

    *Runs away before you club me with a dead fish*

  4. Noodle

    That headline

    Pity the poor New Zealanders trying to parse that headline when we have:

    Chips = Crisps

    Hot chips = Chips

    Chips = (micro) Chips

    1. Teejay

      Re: That headline

      NZ too, being an English language country? I thought only Germany was that confusing.

    2. KarMann
      Headmaster

      Re: That headline

      Even worse about That Headline: 'What's the difference between crisps and chips? Answer: You can't get either of them'

      That's, umm, how shall I put it, not exactly a difference? The joke format should have been 'What do crisps and chips have in common?', also an established joke template, and with the additional merit of actually describing the situation.

      1. Liam Proven Silver badge

        Re: That headline

        Yeah, I know. There actually was a reason for that form, but it didn't survive the publication process, unfortunately.

        Of course, with _l'esprit d'escalier,_ I could have just said "Dunno -- we can't get either". Ah well.

        1. Snowy Silver badge
          Joke

          Re: That headline

          Some also find the joke has things in common with the other two, they can not get it :)

  5. nematoad Silver badge
    Happy

    Happy daze.

    "...you're basically stuck with plain or, for some reason, paprika."

    Good lord, the thought of paprika flavoured crisps brings back a few memories.

    During my time in the Army in the late '60s I was posted to Germany and paprika was the only flavour we could get. If my memory serves me correctly, we didn't even have the luxury of ready salted ones.

    Mind you, given the fact that the booze was duty free most of the time we were not in a fit state to know what flavour the crisps were.

    1. Neil Barnes Silver badge

      Re: Happy daze.

      But, but, paprika crisps are the best, closely followed by salted. But make sure you get Funny Frisch, in the green and red packet, and not their less good competitors in the, er, red and green packet.

      1. jmch Silver badge
        Boffin

        Re: Happy daze.

        "paprika crisps are the best"

        Some people seem to think so. They are wrong. Scientifically proven and all >>>>>

        Salt only, or salt and pepper at a pinch.

        1. Liam Proven Silver badge

          Re: Happy daze.

          I am terribly sorry but this is incorrect.

          Salt'n'vinegar is in fact the best flavour. Globus used to do them but they've stopped. I was and upset about that, but I've found sources of British ones now.

          (Iceland or Delmart, for any other Bohemiam types.)

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Happy daze.

      Fortunately Sweden is not quite continental. We have a wide selection of them in the shops, with flavours ranging from "burnt butter and something or other" by way of "sweet chilli and whatever" to the bog standard sour cream an onion. The traditionalists can still get dill, paprika and no flavour plain salted. The more "upscale" selection have truffles, parmesan, etc. Then there is the ones made from !potatoes as well, which are generally plain salted so that you can be certain that sweet potato is about as tasteless as a regular potato once it is deep-fried in slight rancid cheap oil (ok, apparently the palm oil is on it's way out, finally).

      Come to think of it it was 4-5 months since the last time I bought any, gone off them lately. I generally buy a few smallish bags in winter: they are a nice treat to have in the car when you get back from a few days ski trip (I generally go for the "fancy" beetroot ones).

  6. Paul Crawford Silver badge

    So if you've got a hankering for Monster Munch

    You should be sectioned?

    1. Dr_N

      Only because modern tiny packets of tiny-sized Monster Munch are an abomination.

      1. bigphil9009

        Hang on, they've been big again for years now! I suggest you try the stand-alone packets, not the ones in the multipacks. And they also now do Giant Monster Munch! Hmm, I might be a bit obsessed by Monster Munch...

    2. Jedit Silver badge
      Big Brother

      "You should be sectioned?

      Failure to like Monster Munch is an anti-proletarian sentiment, COMRADE.

  7. Teejay

    Totally off-topic

    The crisps and chips difference gets ever more confusing on the European mainland, where in Germany the English word 'crisps' is the German word 'Chips', and the English word 'chips' is the German word 'Pommes' (pronounced very un-French). Go figure.

    1. Liam Proven Silver badge

      Re: Totally off-topic

      Which of course actually means "apples".

  8. Warm Braw Silver badge

    Vinegar only goes on salads

    It's a long time since I've been in Prague, but, in those days, almost everything was pickled. Including the inhabitants. And the central reservations of the approach roads were full of scantily-clad women chasing after lorries. I can't help feeling that Gary Lineker levels of 'bland' might actually be an improvement and a sign of greater economic security,

    1. TheProf
      Thumb Up

      Re: Vinegar only goes on salads

      "And the central reservations of the approach roads were full of scantily-clad women chasing after lorries."

      Do you have a Google Street View of this location?

      Asking for myself.

  9. Denarius Silver badge
    FAIL

    so they did a rollout

    without a B***i rollback plan ?

  10. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

    Waiting for the "Who, me?".

  11. AlexGreyhead
    Coat

    TITSUPp

    (Total Inability To Supply Usual Potato products)

    … sorry… mine’s the one with the cheese and onion-smelling grease stains around the pockets…

  12. SecretSonOfHG

    False "worldwide shortages of lorry drivers leading to worldwide shortages"

    Best described as "UK shortages of lorry drivers" Seriously. Those who live in the rest of Europe can asses that there are no shortages of... anything at all, much less lorry drivers. Except computer chips for those customers cheap enough to get them for cheap (automakers). You brits should be honest about what the consequences of Brexit are. Yes, pandemics made the problem worse, but there are no "worldwide shortages of lorry drivers" anywhere in the world except in the UK

    1. Peter Gathercole Silver badge

      Re: False "worldwide shortages of lorry drivers leading to worldwide shortages"

      Um. It's real, but not the only problem.

      https://trans.info/en/there-s-a-europe-wide-hgv-driver-shortage-so-why-do-uk-supply-chains-seem-more-disrupted-254524

      This is the first I found that didn't come from a British news outlet, although this does look like a UK themed article.

      But it poses exactly the problem you ask, and provides some explanations.

      1. SecretSonOfHG

        Re: False "worldwide shortages of lorry drivers leading to worldwide shortages"

        Ok, let me rephrase that as: "there are shortages of (lorry drivers/plumbers/painters/crop collectors....) everywhere, but for some reason the only place where these shortages lead to supply chain shortages is the UK. Brexit is they key difference between places where, in spite of having shortages of (lorry drivers/plumbers/painters/crop collectors....) these things do not impact the supply chain so severely and the UK"

    2. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

      Re: False "worldwide shortages of lorry drivers leading to worldwide shortages"

      You brits should be honest about what the consequences of Brexit are.

      Downvoted for failing to realise that almost half the UK population voted against it because we were fully able to work out the likely consequences.

      Yes, pandemics made the problem worse

      For HMG the pandemics were a wonderful opportunity to hide the effects for some considerable time. Cynical? Moi?

      1. Jedit Silver badge
        Stop

        "almost half the UK population voted against it"

        If almost half of the UK population really had worked out the consequences of Brexit before it happened, we'd still be in the EU. The vote was 52-48 among people who expressed a preference; as a percentage of the electorate it was roughly 37-35 with 28% not voting. We're seeing more of those 28% come off the fence on the side of Rejoin now the effects of Brexit are being seen and felt, but they were happy either way until it actually did affect them - by which time it was too late.

      2. SecretSonOfHG

        Re: False "worldwide shortages of lorry drivers leading to worldwide shortages"

        I did not said that all of the UK wanted to leave the EU, I merely stated that these things are consequences of Brexit. Unfortunately, the remainers are equally affected as the leavers. But the impacts are there, which is what my statement was about.

    3. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

      Re: False "worldwide shortages of lorry drivers leading to worldwide shortages"

      " there are no "worldwide shortages of lorry drivers" anywhere in the world except in the UK"

      So, those ships queuing up outside some US ports aren't really there because the container ports are not overflowing with containers because all those truck drivers are taking them them away and delivering them like normal?

      1. Noodle

        Re: False "worldwide shortages of lorry drivers leading to worldwide shortages"

        Primarily due to a huge increase in the amount of goods being shipped to the US from China, compounded by decades of underinvestment in the ports themselves so they had no spare capacity, and then the reduced availability of all kinds of staff such as port workers and truck drivers due to Covid-19.

  13. Jim Whitaker
    Coat

    Pedantry

    Properly known as "Game chips".

    1. Arthur the cat Silver badge

      Re: Pedantry

      Properly known as "Game chips".

      I thought that's what casino give you in exchange for money?

    2. Santa from Exeter
      FAIL

      Re: Pedantry

      I trump your false pedantry Sir.

      Game chips are not the same as crisps, they are thicker.

      I apologise for the shittypedia link, but in this case it's actually correct.

      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Game_chips

POST COMMENT House rules

Not a member of The Register? Create a new account here.

  • Enter your comment

  • Add an icon

Anonymous cowards cannot choose their icon