back to article Heart FM's borkfast show – a fine way to start your day

There can be few things worse than Microsoft Windows elbowing itself into a presenting partnership, as seen in this digital signage for the Heart breakfast show. For those unfamiliar with the station, Heart is a UK national broadcaster with Global as its parent. It currently consists of a dozen or so regional stations with a …

  1. wolfetone Silver badge

    "And, it would appear, Microsoft Windows. A co-star that nobody asked for."

    In an alternate universe, Theakston is there posing with Microsoft Windows - and Amanda Holden is the error which no one asked for or wanted.

    1. JimboSmith Silver badge

      <sarcasm>Couldn't have happened to a nicer company.</sarcasm> Global that is not TFL.

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Nip in the bud

    Since a bork is definitely a thing, all of these displays should use the much vaunted connectivity the IoT promises.

    As soon as a bork shows up, it should phone.... somewhere that has a routine or a meatsack who could immediately remedy the problem thereby nipping it in the bud.

    1. Lon24 Silver badge

      Re: Nip in the bud

      Alternatively just use one of those microcomputery thingymejobs better designed for the task and probably costing less than the Windows license alone. Oh, and using a lot less leccy.

      1. TRT Silver badge

        Re: Nip in the bud

        Do you mean a printed poster? Do you know the carbon footprint of making paper, ink, printing etc?*

        *Answer - it's a lot, lot, lot less than one of these Digital displays. Not so sure on the carbon footprint of sending a Jo-in-a-van out to change them once a month, though. Mind you, given the amount of printed paper that last came in the box with a computer & Windows installation... in every language possible...

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Nip in the bud

          Could they have a printer at the top and a shredder at the bottom on continuous paper?

          1. 2+2=5 Silver badge
            Joke

            Re: Nip in the bud

            > Could they have a printer at the top and a shredder at the bottom on continuous paper?

            I think Banksy has patented the shredder at the bottom bit already.

          2. TRT Silver badge

            Re: Nip in the bud

            That would be a work of art!

  3. jollyboyspecial

    They only have about twenty seven listeners, family and fr... well family, so nobody will have noticed.

  4. IGotOut Silver badge

    For those outside the UK

    Heart is part of a conglomeration of "local" radio stations.

    They general play the same bland, middle of the road sings, 80% of which are old classics (read the most overplayed records in history). Throw in some "wacky" presenters and you are good to go.

    And when I say local, it's really a national radio company that just plays lip service with some local adverts and a couple of local news headlines.

    Seriously, you couldn't get more dreary radio if you tried.

    1. TRT Silver badge

      Re: For those outside the UK

      I prefer Magic FM. Same old songs that have been played to death, but somehow better.

      They really should rebrand some of their local stations anyway. Heart Herts is just too much.

    2. Charlie Clark Silver badge

      Re: For those outside the UK

      The really sad thing is how popular bland is. Whether it's music, cheese, beer or whatever. people love to play it safe.

      1. BenDwire Silver badge
        Go

        Re: For those outside the UK

        If you want a much better radio experience, then give Radio Paradise a try - very eclectic, no ads, no inane talking and is financially supported by those listeners that like it that way.

        Admittedly it's internet only, but for those who can, it's worth it!

        1. CuChulainn Silver badge

          Re: For those outside the UK

          Planet Rock for me. Listen on DAB all the time when I can, and sometimes fall asleep to it via Sky radio.

          It has ads, but - if you opt for the 'supported by the listeners' option - you can get ad-free (albeit only online).

          1. BenDwire Silver badge
            Go

            Re: For those outside the UK

            Radio Paradise has no ads, regardless of whether you're a supporter or not. There are also different streams, including Rock, Mellow and Eclectic depending on your mood. It's a good thing !

            1. Charlie Clark Silver badge

              Re: For those outside the UK

              Thanks for the tips, but I do like a bit of DJ inanity and, thus far, 6 Music works quite well for me when want some new music stimulus. Otherwise I tend to listen to my own music.

    3. Ol'Peculier

      Re: For those outside the UK

      Greatest Hits Radio?

      Bought out lots of local radio stations, sacked all the staff, closed the offices down (well, the one just up the road from the office closed last month) and produce the minimum content to satisfy OFCOM about regional programming.

      1. JimboSmith Silver badge

        Re: For those outside the UK

        Greatest Hits Radio is owned and run by Bauer. A mate of mine up North was working for a station that was assimilated by them. They asked him to stay on and he said "Sod Off"

    4. CountCadaver Silver badge

      Re: For those outside the UK

      Heck I sideloaded radioplayer Canada (not available in the playstore in the UK due to geolocking) denied location access and now have access to a myriad of Canadian radio stations, including a plethora of rock stations...all of which are far superior to the banal inoffensive drudge that is uk radio and as a bonus the ads are even tolerable and on the whole non grating to listen to.

      Other times I fire up Spotify and don't deal with annoying "presenters"

    5. Gene Cash Silver badge

      Re: For those outside the UK

      Yeah, that sounds just like ClearChannel in the US. Bleagh.

    6. JimboSmith Silver badge

      Re: For those outside the UK

      Heart is part of a conglomeration of "local" radio stations.

      They general play the same bland, middle of the road sings, 80% of which are old classics (read the most overplayed records in history). Throw in some "wacky" presenters and you are good to go.

      And when I say local, it's really a national radio company that just plays lip service with some local adverts and a couple of local news headlines.

      Seriously, you couldn't get more dreary radio if you tried.

      That was the result of the Radiocentre lobbying on behalf of their 'members'. They lobbied Ofcom to allow Global and Bauer to cut the number of stations by enlarging the area one station could broadcast to. So in the Thames Valley it allowed them to get rid of Fox FM in Oxford and broadcast everything from Reading. Or in Devon broadcast everything from Exeter and ditch Barnstaple.

      For 'members' that would be (Cashley Taybor's) Global and Bauer as they do most of the funding for the body. Don't believe the other members especially those who have their stations where Global also broadcast were that thrilled.

    7. jollyboyspecial

      Re: For those outside the UK

      It ain't just playing lip service to the rules. It's riding roughshod over them. Heart basically bought up a load of local franchises as a way of creating a national station. Ofcom and the government claim that local radio is essential, but they also implemented a system of selling off the bandwidth to the highest bidder with little or no oversight. When this sort of nonsense became apparent they handed some bandwidth to local "community" (ie for the most part embarrassingly amateur) stations. Just so they could prove they are committed to local radio.

  5. Sam Therapy
    Flame

    Bleah - Fart FM

    My missis used to listen to those two annoying twats until I asked her to either change stations or switch the damn thing off. Not only are those two enough to make you take a hammer to the radio, the station itself seems to have a library of around 100 songs which they constantly recycle. Over a year since I stopped having the thing inflicted on me, I went somewhere that was playing Heart and, surprise surprise, they were playing the same bleedin' songs as when I last heard 'em.

    Oh, and they're sponsored by TalkTalk, if you really need another reason to dislike them.

  6. ricardian

    This https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Radio_Active_(radio_series) was far superior to any local radio station that I've encountered

  7. gypsythief

    "We're not entirely sure what has caused the error"

    Well, looking at the screenshot, it clearly says "SRServer.exe... Application error / The application was unable to start connectivity"

    A quick Duck Duck Go reveals SRServer.exe to be the client component of Splashtop Streamer Remote Desktop software.

    So the software that has caused the bork is the very same software that would allow the helldesk operatives to remote in and fix the bork.

    Bork, bork, indeed.

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