Get real: Say what you like about your app but don't be surprised if I trollsplain Look deep into my soil. Hold it, feel it, smell my soil. Like you, the sub-editors au Centre Vautour have assumed a spelling error – or at least a smelling error – and are about to correct it. Me too: it's the first thing that popped into my head when reading about a subscription box service called "Mind, Body & Soil". I was …
Not only can I bring Frank back, I also can grow him from the soil you want me to look into.
All secrets and procedures are free to read. Only a small online contribution required. More secrets and procedures are available at reduced rates, including preventing The Walking Dead from invading your property. Call now!
All funds will partially be used to contribute to friday-beer, of course.
The facehugger thing has been done, in several incarnations. Friend of mine makes them in leather, together with the proper Pestilence Doctor masks. But there are plenty cheap options if you want to go for those looks.
Suffice to say that friend has a serious backlog when it comes to producing the things, even though they aren't cheap.
This week it was MY AAA, a paid-for social media app that ruthlessly rides the same mental-health bandwagon, hiring professional boxer Tyson Fury to promote the launch.
If I found myself in a boxing ring with Tyson Fury I'd be pretty fucking anxious.
There's an up-channel "outdoorsy" clothing catalog here in the US where every-fucking-thing in the catalog begins with "The".
The red flannel shirt.
The brown hiking boots.
The bluejeans.
It's as if they think God (or the FSM) ordained all of their stuff as "The" greatest of whatever it is. Pretentious beyond belief.
"Every time a press release crosses my desk that suggests an app or hardware product will guarantee some measure of achievement or satisfaction, I can't help hitting the Reply button and asking for the official terms and conditions of the guarantee."
You're on the path to go full perversion, here :)
My wife thinks I'm being pernickety when I spot, what I read as, ridiculous slogans, etc. I passed a shoe shop that proudly claimed "Buy one, get one free!" If they'd included the word "pair" I wouldn't have bothered, but were they offering a special deal to Long John Silver, et. al?
The current Oral B advert where it claims their new toothbrush has changed everything! NO IT HASN'T - IT'S JUST A TOOTHBRUSH!!!
Sorry, must calm down...
For some unknown reason, some Brazilian businesses advertise as being "a new concept in"..., e.g. "a new concept in gasoline stands", "a new concept in hairdressing", etc. What's exactly "new" about the new concept is never explained.
Once I was looking for a new apartment and my wife asked me to actually avoid one a place advertised as "a new concept in real state agency". She knew that I would ask a lot of embarrassing questions about what was exactly the new concept.
I often think that this kind of business got their marketing people at the discount bin at a local unemployment office.. maybe one with "a new concept" in its slogan too.
A certain recently departed inventor would probably disagree...
Red Bull maintains that its marketing and labeling[sic] have always been truthful and accurate.
I think you are more likely to find human/alligator hybrids created by COVID vaccinations.
The misused word that always gets me is "ultimate". I once considered buying the Ultimate Rock Album purely so that I could ask for my money back if they released another one.
But what really baffles me is why someone would market food as the ultimate. Surely the only way someone can be sure that they really are selling you your Ultimate Burger is if its full of botulism*.
* I suppose in the pedantic spirit I should say Clostridium botulinum, but you know what I mean.
There was I think an episode of "Tales of the Unexpected" where a couple stop at a restaurant en-route somewhere in France (though I may be wrong on that) - at the end of the meal, they comment on the excellent meal they just had and ask to speak to the chef... the episode closes with the intimation that they will be on the menu next...
Funnily enough, I did get that album (from the CD club I was in at the time, but see third paragraph).
It was OK, but hardly 'ultimate'. It was basically the equivalent of a CD mix tape with some stuff on it you wouldn't have picked yourself in a million years.
Of course, since then, there have been multiple 'Ultimate' rock albums that are essentially the same mix tape plus some bands from x years later. It's the 'rock' equivalent of the 'NOW' series of CDs.
This post has been deleted by its author
> Effective it may be. Creepily trackable, certainly. But attractive? You're joking, right? They look like this:
To get away from the the picture's obvious intimations of Alien hatchlings, can I suggest for the facemasks a more intimate name, suggested by its grasp and hump?
FACE R-PUR
The Register 
Biting the hand that feeds IT
Copyright. All rights reserved © 1998–2025
