back to article So I’ve scripted a life-saving routine. Pah. What really matters is the icon I give it

Mute the mic. Hide the webcam. Freeze the shared screen. Enable Delivery Mode! I have been practising all week for this moment. Once the alarm sounds, the process need to be as slick as a Thunderbirds-are-go launch sequence. In fact, each time I run through the steps I find myself humming the uplifting theme music – by …

  1. Mr Dogshit

    Zut alors!

    1. Franco Bronze badge

      That would be more Dix-Huit from Terrahawks than Thunderbirds though. ;-)

      Obviously pronounced Dicks-Hewitt in Windsor Davies's accent as Sergeant-Major Zero.

    2. Dan 55 Silver badge

      Ooh la la, ceci n'est pas une pipe, etc...

  2. Dr_N

    French Delivery

    Can be a bit hit-or-miss.

    But kudos to one of the guys who, after calling and understanding I wasn't home, picked me up from the village (where I was quaffing cafe) and drove me the 500m back to my place.

    Just so he could hand over the big parcel he was delivering.

    Who says the French can't do customer service?

    Aside: No French event is complete without a Johnny tribute act.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: French Delivery

      French Delivery Can be a bit hit-or-miss.

      If I see that an order is due to be delivered to my French address via DHL I just cancel it. There's no point in waiting for them to pretend to try and then to flag it as "undeliverable, return to sender" timestamped 30 minutes after they leave the depot, when even getting to my village would take them about an hour.

      La Poste, though, is much better. We once successfully received a thank-you card in a young hand that was addressed simply to "Uncle xxx and Auntie yyy", plus the village name.

      1. Alistair Dabbs

        Re: French Delivery

        Agree about La Poste. The front-of-desk staff are short-tempered but the sorters and posties are a smart bunch.

      2. Jean Le PHARMACIEN

        Re: French Delivery

        Yes, the "undeliverable, return to sender" or "error in address" which magically corrects itself over the next week

        Yes, La Poste ARE "THE MAN" (or rather Mme La Poste for us)

        Our problems is that we are 1.5hrs drive from the departmental courier depots in Bourges, and nobody wants to drive out to deliver. If we are lucky it might make it to the nearest town 12km away, otherwise one 21km away (yes UPS, that's YOU aka Universally Providing S**t-service)

        1. Dr_N

          Re: French Delivery

          No one came close to SERNAM for utter merde service. Although GLS do try very hard.

          1. Dante Alighieri

            Ecosse

            unlike my ringing the local delivery service* about the note through my door about not being in.

            Quel probleme? I wasn't in at 13:30.

            So hell desk asks : and??

            So I politely point out it is still only 13:25....

            I couldn't even reach the door in time to catch them having seen them enter the road. Not like they had no intention to deliver....

            *Royal Fail (again)

    2. Allan George Dyer
      Joke

      Re: French Delivery

      @Dr_N - " French Delivery Can be a bit hit-or-miss."

      Is that because it only happens after the French Letters are lost?

  3. chivo243 Silver badge
    Pint

    who was world-famous throughout France

    Ah, a legend in his own mind too? Nice one Dabsy!

    1. Mage Silver badge

      Re: who was world-famous throughout France

      Not to be confused with USA Word Series sports.

      But I've heard of Halliday, though not heard him sing. I've heard other French singers.

      Aside:

      Baseball was invented in England, in 18th English literature and Rounders is later. The Americans pretended they invented it.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: who was world-famous throughout France

        World Series baseball? Allegedly named after the original sponsor (The American newspaper, "The World".)

        1. Keven E
          Pint

          Re: who was world-famous throughout France

          http://roadsidephotos.sabr.org/baseball/name.htm

          *****

          Or as Eddie Izzard *would say (paraphrasing) " The World Series... America has won every year... maybe one year, someone else will... but I doubt it"

          1. Irony Deficient

            maybe one year, someone else will …

            To date, Canada has won the World Series twice.

      2. Insert sadsack pun here

        Re: who was world-famous throughout France

        "Not to be confused with USA Word Series sports."

        I think they're called spelling bees, mate

    2. WanderingHaggis

      Re: who was world-famous throughout France

      Prefer Eddy Mitchell or Renaud -- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ak2VSH4oHxY Renaud at least made it in the UK charts with Miss Maggie and was known in the UK but this one is nicer https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C2QiGY1hgQs

  4. Loyal Commenter Silver badge

    Try living in a building...

    ...that has a name, and not a street number, and for which the postcode lands anyone using Google Maps 200m down the road by some shops.

    Oh, and did I mention that there is another building, with exactly the same name, about half a mile away on a different road, and with a completely different postcode.

    Most couriers manage to find the correct address with few problems. Sometimes they need to call and be given directions.

    Certain couriers, who shall remain nameless, but whose name rhymes with "nodal", sometimes deliver to the other address with the same name, sometimes to a building with the same house number as our flat number, and, on one occasion, to a house on an adjacent street with the same number as our flat number, but so far, never to our actual address.

    It's not like our building is even a recent one. It is a Georgian building converted into flats, which has stood here since before the time that houses were commonly given street numbers...

    1. Natalie Gritpants Jr

      Re: Try living in a building...

      Serves you right for being posh. Get a number and your life will be so much better. Amazon don't care that you can afford to own Hill View Cottage. Our's has a name and it doesn't help that the OS maps use the medieval version of the name, and it doesn't help that there are 4 abodes down a 1/4 mile drive numbered 5,7,9,11 and the numbers at the top of the drive go 1,3,13,17, but deliveries are easier now we just use the number. Hermes are crap though and always pretend we are out so they can deliver the next day yet still be paid for quick delivery.

      1. Loyal Commenter Silver badge

        Re: Try living in a building...

        Hardly posh, it's a flat in rented accommodation. It just happens to be in an old building, which predates all the numbered buildings in the same area.

        If you want to get in touch with the building's management company (which consists of at least three different landlords and three property owners, as it covers the neighbouring houses as well) and get them to arrange with the Royal Mail to assign a number to the building, then be my guest. My life is too short to get entangled in that sort of bullshit.

        1. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

          Re: Try living in a building...

          "get them to arrange with the Royal Mail to assign a number to the building"

          Maybe it might be easiest to decide on a name, get a nameplate made and stick it on the house (assuming it's not listed) because from my experience it might well be possible to get the Royal Mail to do that. Our house has had a name ever since my parents move in in 1968. It's carved in 6" high letters on a block of stone beside the gate. A few bills and the like had the name slightly wrong. Eventually I discovered that it was wrong in the PAF file that so many businesses take as the immutable standard. I rung Royal Mail to get it changed. This, of course would involve all sorts of official verification and the like, no? No. It was changed just like that. Of course things may have changed in the last 20 years.

          1. Loyal Commenter Silver badge

            Re: Try living in a building...

            (assuming it's not listed)

            Guess what...

            When you live in an area that has a lot of Georgian buildings, some of them are, shock horror, listed buildings.

            The building name is actually on the gate at the front (in a wall which is also listed, before you make any "suggestions"). It doesn't help if the courier doesn't bother to look for the building.

          2. Loyal Commenter Silver badge

            Re: Try living in a building...

            Getting an address changed in the PAF may be pretty simple. Getting all the business and web sites that use the PAF to update to the latest version, not so much. I believe this is a "known problem" with people who move into properties which are on newly created roads, for instance.

      2. John Robson Silver badge

        Re: Try living in a building...

        "Hermes are crap though and always pretend we are out so they can deliver the next day yet still be paid for quick delivery."

        The point at which you point out that you have 24h security and therefore there is never a time when someone is out....

      3. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

        Re: Try living in a building...

        The house in which I grew up had a name and a number. The name was far more useful. There were only two houses on the lane. Ours was number 16.

        1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

          Re: Try living in a building...

          Back in the day, when our hardware support bussiness used to do home address visits for certain large retailers, I had on a number of occasions to visit addresses in small, very long established villages (think Domesday Book entries that have never grown in size since then) and you were lucky to find street names behind the overgrown hedges and whatnot, n ever mind house name. They were the sort of places when you enquired about door numbers, you were met with "Nmberrrrs. Yerrrr, we 'eard o' them new fangled thangs. We don' 'ave no truck with confusin modern stuff loik that 'round 'ere"

          I usually aimed for the sort of time the local Postie was likely to be about (pre-mobile phone days), hoped the village was big enough to have a shop, or at worst, found the one village phone box (or a neighbouring village;s phone box) and rang up for either a description or request they come and stand by their gate :-)

          Most were very nice and helpful. Partly because they were expecting me and had broken kit that I was there to fix, or just because they were used to it and accepted the "issues" as part of the rural idyll :-)

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Try living in a building...

      I live in a road with a few blocks of flats - we live in 121, next door, 119, 117 etc.

      Building next door is 121A, flats 1 -6. The building next to that is also 121A, flats 7-12. Next to that are semi-detached houses 133 - 137, followed by 123 and 127 (there is no 125..)

      Our front door is round the side so not easily visible - so when we order takeaway, we get a phone call "What's your flat number?" Ironically, if one of the 121A order something, we get a knock on the door "Here's your food!". It's getting to the stage I can't be bothered to put my trousers on before answering the door.

      Can tell when we get a new postman - all of 121A's (12 flats worth) gets put through our letter box

      1. Keven E
        Trollface

        Re: Try living in a building...

        Gee...what's for dinner today????

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Try living in a building...

          Problem is we've already eaten, and so not hungry!

    3. GlenP Silver badge

      Re: Try living in a building...

      We have that problem at work. The building predates the road name and house numbering and just has a name, coupled with the fact it's an office on the edge of a housing estate.

      People get to where the SatNav says, halfway down the road, then if we're lucky they either carry on or phone. I have had to retrieve a couple of laptops delivered to another address on one occasion, fortunately the recipients were honest and phoned us.

    4. Nick Pettefar

      Re: Try living in a building...

      I lived in a house in Ireland for three years form 2012 where the address didn’t have any numbers at all. There were no postcodes and three of the houses in the street had the same name. The postman just had to know.

      A similar kind of situation when I lived in Japan where there are very few street names and when the postman went on holiday, your post was usually kept until they returned and could deliver it.

      1. My-Handle

        Re: Try living in a building...

        Sometimes, I wonder whether including accurate, down-to-the-centimetre GPS co-ordinates in one of the extra "address line" fields would help or confuse matters

        1. H in The Hague

          Re: Try living in a building...

          Well, that's pretty well why they developed What3Words. It ain't perfect, but it has its uses. Also handy for conservation volunteering: most trees we deal with don't have postcodes.

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: Try living in a building...

            Trees can't have postcodes until they are harvested and turned into posts, surely?

        2. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

          Re: Try living in a building...

          "down-to-the-centimetre GPS co-ordinates in one of the extra "address line" fields would help or confuse matters"

          Yeah. So the fat-fingers driver, under pressure to do a minimum number of drops per hour can fat-finger the digits and end up re-directing it to another country? Or if you are lucky, only as far as the next town over.

        3. david 12 Silver badge

          Re: Try living in a building...

          My house number (in another city) was the number of yards from the reference line through the CBD. We lived 6128: our neighbor was 6147.

    5. ComputerSays_noAbsolutelyNo Silver badge
      Paris Hilton

      Re: Try living in a building...

      But why? What did people think, when they invented street numbers?

      Let's safe these newfangled digits for the new houses,

      and spare all the existing houses the indignity of being reduced to a mere number.

      But, will that create problems in the future?

      Nah, it will be fine.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Try living in a building...

        Many people do not realise that English (UK?) house numbering originally had a convention. Starting at the nominal town centre the left side of a street has the odd numbers starting at 1. The right side are evens starting at 2.

        When towns expanded their original centre may have moved - so I am not sure how they number new streets in such cases.

        Recently I noticed the likely deliverer of my year's supply of coffee knocking on a door opposite. For some reason he thought that an unmarked door next to a marked "52" must be my "53".

        1. Terry 6 Silver badge

          Re: Try living in a building...

          That's still the rule, though it's point of origin will be the main road for any road not radiating from the centre. Though I don't know about new(ish) towns built in the middle of some fields a few decades ago.

        2. ComputerSays_noAbsolutelyNo Silver badge

          Re: Try living in a building...

          Something similar occured in the small countryside villages in my country.

          When they introduced house-numbers, all existing houses were numbered somewhat sequentially.

          However, after that initial run, all new houses were then numbered chronologically.

          This bites you, when you try to get to an address in a sparsely populated region, where a village extends like a very loose mesh over square-kilometers.

          Being at 52 if you want to get to 53 means nothing.

    6. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

      Re: Try living in a building...

      I have some of that experience. Like most along the lane we only have a name. There are only about half a dozen numbers and several of those are variations:1, 1a etc. There's another lane with almost the same name a few miles.

    7. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

      Re: Try living in a building...

      "Oh, and did I mention that there is another building, with exactly the same name, about half a mile away on a different road, and with a completely different postcode."

      One of the customers I infrequently visit was a bit of an issue the first time I went. The postcode takes me to a building on the wrong side of a very busy junction. The reason is that the building is named and so has no door number, and they moved from where the postcode says they are to the new building on the other side of said busy junction. And for some reason, they retained their postcode through the 750 metre move. Neither my SatNav nor Google Maps seemed to be aware of this move, which had happened well over a year previous to my fist visit. Luckily for me, that's a pretty rare occurrence :-)

    8. Dante Alighieri

      (in)famous village with many number 1's

      I live in a village that featured in the 50's/60's on the BBC of having more than 8 number ones on (apparently) the same street.

      I pass them daily.

      Each row of new buildings numbered 1-(whatever)

      There are many No. 2's as well for the puerile of mind ;))

      Oh, and I am >1/2 mile from postcode "centre" which lead to a lot of Amazon delivery problems. Several neighbourhood signs later most of us get most of our stuff.

    9. tiggity Silver badge

      Re: Try living in a building...

      Same here, name not a number, another house with same name a short walk away, postcode shared with a (different street) a couple of hundred m away.

      Add in extra confusion points for a house with same name as our street - that house is approx quarter of a mile away

  5. corestore

    El Reg on Twitter: "If they erected a 2-object memorial to your life, which icons should they use? A Nokia 3210 and a voltmeter.."

    A pdp-8 and a workstation running scolv...

    1. Natalie Gritpants Jr

      Beer glass full of Nutella

    2. Antron Argaiv Silver badge
      Coat

      A pile of partially disassembled electronic equipment, balanced on the end of a large screwdriver.

      With SWMBO's oft-repeated question engraved at the base: "What have you brought home this time?"

      // I have learned an awful lot by taking stuff apart

      // combination Philips and straight screwdriver n the right pocket

      1. Anonymous Custard Silver badge
        Joke

        I have learned an awful lot by taking stuff apart

        And got a sizeable spare parts and screws collection after putting it back together again, or is that just me?

        1. Dante Alighieri
          Coat

          explain please...

          back together again??

    3. Petrea Mitchell

      A laptop with a cat on it.

  6. Hugh Pumphrey

    Address oddities

    France is truly bizzare if it can not cope with a second line in the address. Almost every time I enter my UK address (16 Dull Street, Boguston, BG17 5QQ) there is an extra box for a second line that I have to leave blank.

    The problem I have is that the street numbers go 10, 10a-h, 20, 18, 12, 12A, 14, 16. Royal Mail know what to do, of course, but I sometimes have to lean out of the front windows and wave at a courier who is standing somewhere between 10h and 18, wondering why there is no 16 in that area.

    1. katrinab Silver badge
      Flame

      Re: Address oddities

      Which is a problem, if, like me, there are three lines in my address before you get to the town name.

      House number + street name,

      Area name, which is also the name of the main road that runs through the area

      The name of the town that joined with the bigger town about 100 years ago. This is required because street names are duplicated among the the towns/villages that merged together over the years

      1. Dante Alighieri
        Boffin

        Re: Address oddities

        Technically you can post to me anywhere in the UK with

        House Name

        Village Name

        as both are unique. Post code is *less* specific

    2. Dan 55 Silver badge
      Holmes

      Re: Address oddities

      But how do we know if British delivery companies can cope with a second line in the address if nobody ever uses it?

      1. Graham Cobb Silver badge

        Re: Address oddities

        I avoid the second line. Technically our address is House Name, Road Name, Village , Nearby Town, Postcode. And if the website looks up the postcode, that is what it fills in - with the village name in the second line.

        In the old days that was necessary - post went through the Nearby Town. But now it just causes problems I have had (important) deliveries returned to sender with "there is no Road Name in Nearby Town" - that is true but you were supposed to be in Village! Some companies' systems don't even print the second line!!

        So, now I manually remove the Nearby Town and move the Village into the "town" field in the form. No one needs to know which instance of "village" this is - they use the postcode to get near and then they use the house name. At least they do if they can be bothered to keep going after they pass the point where the satnav says "you have reached your destination" - all satnavs believe the postcode is at the village shop, which is only halfway down our road.

        My second strategy is to order so much stuff online that all the delivery drivers know our house. That mostly works: we see mostly the same half dozen people!

        1. Antron Argaiv Silver badge
          Happy

          Re: Address oddities

          Yep. You have to outsmart their systems.

          When we first moved in, I noticed we had trouble with parcel services in the summer. "Temporary help", I thought...and then "following the GPS", instead of knowing where our house is.

          We live on a long driveway shared with three other houses, off a side road which runs between two larger roads. The wrinkle here, is that the middle third of our side road was never paved, and remains unpaved (and blocked by cables) to this day. House numbers start at one end of the road, and increase monotonically to the other end. This leaves those who naively assume (from GPS) that they can drive from one end to the other...disappointed, if they start at the "low" end, and are trying to reach houses on the far end (which requires a fairly long trip through town).

          As I pondered the problem, I noticed that Google, Garmin, and the other map database providers show our road as a single, unbroken line. I though that, if I could correct the database, the rest would follow. Easier said than done. The database providers all *say* they accept corrections. But the time from entering a detailed correction until it turns up in the database can be years (ask me how I know this).

          However, persistence has paid off, and after multiple identical corrections entered into the database providers' websites, as well as Open Street Map, we now get our parcels reliably, and even Garmin and Apple have the road shown correctly.

          1. Man inna barrel

            Re: Address oddities

            Where I work, I used to try and help delivery drivers who seemed to be lost. A guy would turn up, and ask "where is XYZ Ltd?" "Never heard of them" I would say, in all honesty. So I asked to look at the paperwork. There is a delivery address, and they have not just got the wrong road, they are are not even in the right town.

            What the driver apparently did was look up the company name on the internet, and got the official registered address, which is a firm of accountants next to my offices. So I point out that error. And the delivery guy still insists that I must be wrong, because "the internet said so", or whatever. After this happened a few times, I did a Companies House search, and over 150 companies are registered down our little road, which is actually home to only half a dozen actual trading premises.

            Another example of trusting computers more than people was a taxi driver, who would not listen to my directions, but insisted on dropping me where the GPS said, which was quite a walk away from the office entrance. We came up to the car park entrance, and I said "turn left here". The guy carried on to the next road, and round the big industrial estate, then stopped. So I said that the entrance is actually on the road we came down, so can we go round again. So we did, and I said "turn left here. NOW PLEASE". And the guy ignored me carried on and drove round to the back again. We did eventually get to the car park. In all fairness, I don't think I was charged extra for the scenic route.

        2. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

          Re: Address oddities

          "Nearby Town"

          I think that should be "Post Town". Nearby is not guaranteed.

          It's US address formats that annoy me. They seem to always have a line for "City" but, of course, they treat as a world-wide standard address format even where it's geographical nonsense. This even pervades genealogical S/W where it can be historical as well as geographical nonsense.

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Address oddities

      Many British companies' mail systems cannot deal with postcodes that begin with 0.

      So 06000 becomes 6000. This delays magazine subscriptions by upto a week. (First goes to dept 60 instead of 06)

      Workaround is to always add a leading letter: F06000.

  7. Potemkine! Silver badge

    I wait for the statue erected for Ron Jeremy.That one should be exciting ^^

    One or two lives before, when I was a software developer, I loved the challenge of making icons for the apps and associated files. At that time, that meant 1024 pixels and 256 colors to express a concept, reduced to 256 pixels for the small icon. That was pure art!

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      There have been times I have thought the software company spent more time on the icon than the programme!

      I used to support one application where you didn't have to ask the version number, you could tell just by the problem that they rang up with.....

    2. Dan 55 Silver badge

      Luxury. In my day we had 256x192 with attribute clash and we were thankful for it.

      1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

        "Luxury. In my day we had 256x192 with attribute clash and we were thankful for it."

        Luxury! In my day, the entire screen graphics resolution was only 128 by 64 in total. There were no attributes to clash. the huge "pixels" were on or off and we were grateful for that!!

    3. MiguelC Silver badge
      Coat

      Re: I wait for the statue erected for Ron Jeremy.That one should be exciting ^^

      I hope they never have to choose between honouring Ron Jeremy or John Holmes, that might turn into a cockfight

      1. Ozumo

        Re: I wait for the statue erected for Ron Jeremy.That one should be exciting ^^

        Could be a handy toilet roll holder.

        1. tiggity Silver badge

          Re: I wait for the statue erected for Ron Jeremy.That one should be exciting ^^

          Doubt it - trend for toilet roll inners to have small diameter these days (so overall pacaging of rolls is smaller) so toilet roll would not fit

  8. TheProf
    Happy

    Thunderbird............

    Four.

    Definitely Thunderbird 4.

    Or 3. I really like Thunderbird 3. It's a reusable spaceship that lands using its rocket engines.

    Thunderbird 2 is pretty cool. A great big green jet propelled delivery van.

    Of course TB1 is the fancy sports car of the outfit.

    And 5? Who doesn't want a giant spy-in-the-sky radio monitoring spacestation?

    On reflection, I'm going with Stingray. 'Stand-by for action!'

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Thunderbird............

      TB2 for me - the one that arrives to actually do the work. However, TB1 is also impressive - especially when you can get your hands on the real thing! We had use of one of the models for fundraising when the International Rescue Corps was being formed, almost 40 years ago.

      Interestingly, the two links to Thunderbird clips in YouTube are blocked (for copyright) in the UK and Ireland - but a quick switch of VPN to, say, India sorts it.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Thunderbird............

        A sight digression, but when I used to ride a bike a lot, I rode with a crowd from the squash club. Some of them were super-serious, and one in particular could ride Nottingham-Skegness (80 miles) in well under 2 hours (it took me closer to seven).

        But not all of them were like that.

        One guy was mega-competitive and took cycling seriously in spite of other shortcomings. He even used to wax his legs to 'reduce the drag' (they all did).

        In the bar at the club one night I said to him: 'Keith, you're built like Thunderbird 2. How is taking a few hairs off your legs going to improve your aerodynamic profile? Go on, admit it. You just like waxing your legs'.

        1. Fred Dibnah

          Re: Thunderbird............

          Cycle 80 miles in 2 hours? Er, no, the 1 hour record is 55km.

          Did they go fishing too? If they did, I bet they caught some huuuge fish. :-)

          1. This post has been deleted by its author

        2. Coastal cutie

          Re: Thunderbird............

          The real reason pro and really serious cyclists wax/shave their legs etc. is so that injuries like gravel rash from the inevitable high speed crashes are easier to treat and dress. Plus when the dressings are being changed, it's a lot less painful pulling tape off smooth skin rather than hair bear legs or other bits.

    2. You aint sin me, roit
      Happy

      Launch Stingray!

      Every time I drive the car off the driveway I shout "Standby for action! Prepare to launch Stingray! Anything can happen in the next half hour!"

      Much to the bemusement of my (now grown up) children.

      P.S. Does Elon feel bad every time he sees Thunderbird 3, showing him what a reusable spaceship should look like?

      1. MJI Silver badge

        Re: Launch Stingray!

        It is his inspiration

    3. Man inna barrel

      Re: Thunderbird............

      > Thunderbird 2 is pretty cool. A great big green jet propelled delivery van.

      But how did the blob actually fly? If I recall, it had some kind of wings, but they were only of token value, like chicken wings. I suppose it could have used body lift, without wings, like the space shuttle. But the idea of body lift in the space shuttle was not so much flying, as returning to solid ground without fatal impact.

      1. The Oncoming Scorn Silver badge
        Pint

        Re: Thunderbird............

        I used to summon the ex Mrs OnComingScorn by text for a retrieival from the pub & then time her arrival by playing the theme\clip to launch all the craft on YouTube.

        Virgil getting into TB2 & the descending cliff face is typically the point she was getting into the car by my reckoning.

      2. the spectacularly refined chap Silver badge

        Re: Thunderbird............

        I never understood why it needed the ski jump on Tracey Island but was VTOL capable everywhere else. Presumably they packed up their kit before returning home?

  9. Franco Bronze badge

    I used to work for one of the large OEMs many years ago, and Irish addresses were the biggest problem we had. Jobs would be rejected out of hand without a postal district attached to them, so you had to confirm "Dublin 12" or whatever, which was usually fine, but there was the odd one that was "Dublin North" or "Dublin South" and whilst everyone though DN and DS were the obvious codes they were in fact DNN and DNS.

    I've had my own issues, usually with Yodel, who used to utterly refuse to even attempt delivery at my flat. They'd park outside, stop for 2 minutes, then leave, and their driver would deny he'd ever done it despite the video I took of him doing it. Their local depot was also only open Monday to Friday 8am to 6pm, despite the obvious issues of most people being somewhere or commuting to/from somewhere during these hours hence why they weren't at home to get the parcel in the first place.

    1. Anonymous Custard Silver badge
      Joke

      And as we well know around here, the problem is always DNS...

  10. Chris Evans

    Photo of a wall re delivery to the wrong address

    Twice now we've sent parcels that tracking showed had been delivered but the recipient said it wasn't to them. We were sent a snapshot of a map showing with a pin symbol (the van?) outside the flats and a photo showing a wall and a bit of floor which could be anyone's hallway. Why they didn't include the flat number in the photo is beyond me. Fortunately on both occasions the parcel did end up at with the customer, but with no help from the courier company who, when I asked them to send the driver to the address they actually delivered it to, said we can't do that. By the time they were delivered one of the buyers had left us very negative feedback, fortunately they did agree to remove the feedback. After 40 years of using couriers I have a few tales to tell, none of them good.

    Couriers don't seem to realise that whilst their legal customer is the sender the real customer is normally the recipient.

    Problems will happen, it is how courier companies deal with them that shows how good they are.

    1. Death Boffin
      Holmes

      Re: Photo of a wall re delivery to the wrong address

      We recently moved into a new neighborhood and had problems with packages being delivered to the wrong house. Notification from the delivery company had a picture of the package on the doorstep. I just had to wander the neighborhood trying to match the stoop with the one in the photo.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Photo of a wall re delivery to the wrong address

        Where we live (a village that's just about big enough to be a small town*) we don't have those problems. Numerous couriers making deliveries; some in logo'd vans, some in plain white vans and some in cars. We've actually got to know some of the main ones, who will now wave at us if they drive past us in the street.

        There are certain advantages to not be living in the city. OK, no chance of food via Deliveroo, JustEat, etc. but the chippy and Chinese takeaway are only a few minutes away.

        *Not really a town until we get a branch of Boots, of course (UK custom)!

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Photo of a wall re delivery to the wrong address

          "Not really a town until we get a branch of Boots, of course "

          They seem to be more likely to close existing ones. Our small one never had enough shelf stock to satisfy their discounted multiple offers. The assistant was asked to order two more cheap items for me to satisfy an offer. She went to their web page and told me there would be an additional £5 delivery charge to get them into the shop.

          The independent pharmacy a few doors away does a roaring trade with customers who can't stand what Boots have become. They were threatened with closure by the government's move to consolidate NHS prescriptions only in large stores like Boots and Tesco. Everyone signed the petition - and presumably the proposal was quietly dropped?

    2. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

      Re: Photo of a wall re delivery to the wrong address

      "Couriers don't seem to realise that whilst their legal customer is the sender the real customer is normally the recipient."

      I've had this argument with one courier in the past. The address they'd been given was incorrect. They wouldn't change it on the basis that only the owner of the goods could do that. Just who did they think the owner was?

      1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

        Re: Photo of a wall re delivery to the wrong address

        "Just who did they think the owner was?"

        The owner is the sender. Simple as that. That's who they have a legal contract with. They have no legal contract with the recipient. Althoiugh you may have paid the sender for the carriage costs, you contract is only with the sender, not the courier. The sender paid the courier, even if they used your money to pay them.

        Of course, the obverse is that the couriers reputation depends on a successful delivery, so getting it to the recipient is very important. But it's not the couriers fault if they've been given the wrong address by the sender. Why would they believe some random stranger telling them what they think the correct address ought to be?

        (All the other issues with courier drivers lying, not waiting, throwing parcels over fences or even leaving them inside bins notwithstanding of course!)

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Ah yes…

    this reminds me of the fun times when you go travelling abroad and tell the taxi driver "it's Meredith … Street, I guess? Sorry, the printout's in the suitcase", only to find that this particular place had Meredith Street, Avenue, Grange, Court, Crescent, Terrace, you name it, the entire suburb was all Meredith.

    So glad we can't travel anymore.

    1. Anonymous Custard Silver badge

      Re: Ah yes…

      I've often had weird ones when in Israel for business. We aren't allowed cars (as we've had a couple of occasions where Japanese secondees went "sight-seeing" and ended up in areas that they shouldn't have and had to be diplomatically retrieved). So everywhere was via foot or taxi.

      Working down south, but staying in Tel Aviv for security reasons, so each day was roughly an hour each way in a bus or taxi. So by about month 3, we knew every route there was between the site and TA (and there are many), and having spent several weekends there walking about knew the city well also from walking around it.

      Was many a time when we had a newbie or non-local taxi driver who was relying on just Waze to get us back to the hotel, and got himself "confused". In several cases I literally ended up guiding the Israeli taxi driver around his capital city to get us back to the hotel, and on one memorable time it was an 80 seater coach (there were a lot of us doing the contact).

      Ah fun times, miss them in these travel-restricted times.

      1. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

        Re: Ah yes…

        "and on one memorable time it was an 80 seater coach"

        Ah, yes. Coach navigation. Coach from God's Own County to Victoria coach station. There were two drivers on board who swapped over at a half-way stop. The one who took over for the second leg got into slight navigational difficulties trying to follow the company's official route into the north London stop Golders Green bus station. I overheard a snippet of conversation "Shall I go right way or t'way I know?".

        I noticed we came to a crossroads close to the bus station at right angles to the usual approach.

        Nevertheless an improvement on the driver who, immediately after leaving Victoria, spread some forms over the wheel and started catching up on his paper-work while threading his way through central London.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Ah yes…

          Gave the taxi driver the direction "High Street, <nearby village name>". About a minute later he pulled up in our own High Street - less than 100 metres away. Getting him going again he was trying to drive while googling for the village. Luckily I had written the postcode on a piece of paper - which I gave to him.

          His satnav then guided us. At one point leaving the road to follow - slowly - a narrow muddy track through a dense wood. The actual road merely dog-legged round that small wood.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Ah yes…

      Dalkeith near Edinburgh, Scotland has at least one estate like that. People remember the first part of a street name - without realising it has been paired with just about every possible variant as the second part.

    3. call-me-mark

      Re: Ah yes…

      A lot of Leeds suburbia is like this. For example The Harolds: travelling south along Thornville Street (itself one of a number of Thornvilles) you will cross (in order) Harold Avenue, Harold Walk, Harold Road, Harold View, Harold Mount, Harold Street, Harold Grove, Harold Place and Harold Terrace. Wonderful for confusing delivery and taxi drivers.

  12. Mage Silver badge
    Coat

    you wouldn't believe me if I just described it in words

    Oh I would, especially from you Dabbsey.

    As far as tribute statues go it's not too bad.

  13. Dr_N
    Coat

    New Product Pitch

    Mr Dabbs> Sure, there are plenty of ways to sneak out of an online meeting quietly for a few seconds to nip to the loo

    Zoom Nappies™® ?

  14. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

    I take it "14 Avenue" does at least have a town name added. I knew of an accounts database which, for years, had a distributor's address as street number "High Street, Somerset". I suppose most people with a smidgeon more knowledge of English geography the whoever entered it would make a reasonable guess. It was years before we sere in that part of the world and SWMBO wanted to visit the shore museum there. (No, I've no idea either.) Yes, there the business was, at the appropriate number in High Street, Street, Somerset.

    1. herman Silver badge

      In central Europe, in many villages, the houses are numbered in the order that they were settled over the past several hundred years, with no street names - simply Village name, Number. That's it. The Posties somehow know where they are.

      1. Dog11
        Holmes

        I believe some cities in Japan did likewise, issued consecutive numbers as buildings were built. I expect that when there were only a handful of buildings, it seemed perfectly logical. And now that there's a lot of buildings, it's too late to change.

    2. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

      Dammit. Shoe museum!

      1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

        "Dammit. Shoe museum!"

        Ah, that explains a lot, except your confusion. Everyone else is going "ah, shoe museum, wife, obvious innit!"

    3. This post has been deleted by its author

  15. TomPhan

    Used to live in a house which was one of 8 built on land which was previously just two. So the house numbers were the original one, to keep in order on the street, but with A, B, C, or D as a suffix. Unfortunately a lot of the delivery services and utilities thought they were all apartments inside the one closest to the street and ignored everyone else.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      IIRC in Finland the plots are pre-numbered. Houses built on them are given the suffix "A", "B" etc as they are subsequently built.

  16. TomPhan

    Going to back to the UK to deal with my parents estate after they died, I often had to explain that there's parts of the world where having a 5 digit house number isn't uncommon.

  17. herman Silver badge
    WTF?

    Where the streets have no name

    I thought that U2 made their song about the city of Al Ain in the UAE. Deliveries in the UAE depend completely on WhatsApp and GPS.

    1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

      Re: Where the streets have no name

      "Deliveries in the UAE depend completely on WhatsApp and GPS."

      That's true in a surprisingly large number of places around the world.

  18. Terry 6 Silver badge

    Irrational

    A few months back I was on the lookout for a delivery to arrive. When I saw her in the neighbour's front garden I asked, "Is that for number xx" (mine).

    She said it wasn't. Quite aggressively. I told her that house was empty. She left.

    My parcel didn't arrive.

    Nor did the replacement. But this time there was a photo saying it had been delivered.

    The photo could have been the front of several houses. I started to look. I couldn't see it next door. Nor did it seem to be anywhere else.

    On a hunch I looked in the old recycling box (left there since the council gave us proper bins) in front of the house next door. This wasn't shown in the photo, but....

    And yes, inside were both parcels. She must have sneaked back and put the first parcel in there. And then a few days later put the second one on top of that.

    They did have the right number on them. The numbers are clearly on the front of both houses.

    So she was stubbornly determined to deliver to the wrong house.

    I detailed this to the retailer (since there seemed to be no sane way to contact the courier firm). I'm pleased to say she's not been seen since.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Irrational

      Waiting in for a delivery - nothing came although I heard the next door letterbox go.

      A few days later my neighbour gave me a Royal Mail delivery card - on which the post person had correctly inscribed my house number. They had obviously not noticed their letterbox 150mm high numerals - nor my front door number.

      I think they had dead-reckoned the house numbers from lower ones - skipping the ones without a visible number - and lost count.

  19. Anonymous Coward
    Windows

    Austin Morris

    What on earth is an Austin Morris?

    Those were both individual companies back in the day that merged.

    Austin now appears to belong to a Brit again and Morris may well have been a 2000-3000 year old Chinese company all along. Who knew! I went to school in Abingdon which I think is where the Morris Garage (MG) lived for a while.

    There may be a prize for the best/worst hybrid Austin/Morris monstrosity.

    1. The Oncoming Scorn Silver badge
      Joke

      There may be a prize for the best/worst hybrid Austin/Morris monstrosity.

      There was it was called the Marina.

      First prize was one.

      1. Terry 6 Silver badge

        Re: There may be a prize for the best/worst hybrid Austin/Morris monstrosity.

        I loved my little Marina.

        Reliable, cheap,easy to fix odd items.

        1. Intractable Potsherd

          Re: There may be a prize for the best/worst hybrid Austin/Morris monstrosity.

          If I remember correctly, most of the running-gear was from the Morris Minor, down to the friction-pad dampers, with a new body stuck on top. Hence, all the major parts and relevant knowledge were already there and so it was a cheap, easy-to-fix car. The quality of the bodywork was a problem, though, especially compared to the Minor - I think there are over 12,000 Minors still on the DVLA database, whereas the number is less than a tenth of that for the Marina.

  20. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Thunderbird 4

    I had a huge battery-powered Thunderbird 4 model when I was a kid. Well, it seemed huge in the eyes of a seven year old - though it did take four D-size batteries, and couldn't have been that small.

    It worked in the bath, too. That was one of its main selling points for some reason.

    1. Fred Dibnah
      Alert

      Re: Thunderbird 4

      Four fresh D cells in bath water. Eeek

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Thunderbird 4

        Rubber seal in the battery compartment.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Thunderbird 4

          Is the rubber seal an alternative to a rubber duck?

  21. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    No, icons should do more than represent – they should suggest.

    Can you have a word with the Notepad++ developers? And IrfanView?

  22. Allan George Dyer
    Headmaster

    If only...

    I might have learnt a lot more French at school if Brigitte Bardot had been involved in the teaching materials.

    Her enunciation is very clear.

  23. Marco van Beek

    On a complete tangent…

    I worked for Johnny on his 1984 residency in Le Zenith. The motorbike he rode on to stage “wasn't loud enough” so the sound guys gaffer-taped a radio mic to the side of the exhaust pipe.

    After the residency we went on a world tour of France and Belgium. :-)

    The quality of his voice is open to debate, especially after a long run of shows, but that guy had stage presence. He could rock an audience.

  24. Celeste Reinard

    Moonwalking

    I think, if you feel like marketing my wonderful personality by means of a statue, that it will be rather crowded with ashtrays and beer cans evenly dispersed in a chaotic yet creative environment.

    It's a mess. Happy now?

  25. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Script on github?

    I'm sure I'm not the only one wondering if this script is available

  26. Blackjack Silver badge

    Eh, I would just make a switch that I can push with my foot that turns my Internet connection off. Crappy Internet has become quite common during lockdown.

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