My favorite relaxation methods...
In order of reverse lethality:
1. An inflated punching target with the sand in the base & the boss' face painted on the head section of whatever representation is silk screened on to the plastic. It's very fun to beat the shit out of "the boss" without actually landing myself in prison.
2. The boss' face tacked to a dart board & copious darts thrown/hammered into the picture. You know my frustration level is a bit too high if I'm screaming "Die MotherFucker, DIE!" at it while sending a stream of incomming from a roofing nailgun.
3. Replacing all the character maps of the bad guys in Doom/Quake/W:ET with images of the boss & upper level managers so I can pretend to be shooting them with plasma cannons, bazookas, machine guns, & flame throwers. It's pretty much a given that I'm in dire need of a vacation at this point.
4. My work space is covered in random scraps of paper with various doodles & equations on them. The doodles of devices, the equations of ballistics. This stage means they should be running for safety, calling those nice young men in their clean white coats, or both.
5. My work space is suspiciously clean, neat, & tidy. There are no personal belongings anywhere. It's as if I've already taken all my personal gear home prior to some event that will almost certainly get me fired &/or arrested. At this stage It's Too Late. Best evacuate the building just to be sure. Not that it will matter, I didn't leave a bomb inside. Instead you should be checking why your bank balance has suddenly INCREASED by an order of magnatude from an anonymous depositor, why there are a pair of first class plane tickets to some tropical location without extradition treaties in your name, and the company's coffers have recently been debeted by said deposit amount. Because the embezzlement trail will lead straight to your desk & your presumed alibi won't be worth a hill of beans.
6. I've found the codes to the Orbital LART & your cellphone number. Kiss your arse goodbye.
*Deep calming breaths*
Damn it, those last two are already on MySkippy'sList. I'll have to come up with something else just as amusing. TTYL, I'm off to the drawing board!
*Inserts a giant, glowing, blinking, scrolling marquis SARCASM tag for the irony deficient*