back to article Tesla promises to build robot you could beat up – or beat in a race

During what felt like an hours-long job ad, Tesla on Thursday pledged to build a humaniform robot prototype. Screenshot of the Tesla bot presentation Behold, the Teslabot ... Click to enlarge CEO Elon Musk announced the project at the automaker's AI day, saying Tesla already does most of the things a robot needs – sensing, …

  1. DrXym

    "Semi sentient"

    Musk certainly has a knack for spouting complete and utter bollocks.

    1. b0llchit Silver badge
      Coat

      Re: "Semi sentient"

      Surely, you know that "Semi" is the first step to achieve "Full". Just like the westworld thingy, they need time. It may be "Semi" bollocks now, but they will evolve into "Full" bollocks and conquer the world in a real bath of blood. I've seen it on television, so it must be true!

    2. Mike 137 Silver badge

      Re: "Semi sentient"

      Of course the beauty of this term is that "semi" has an infinite range of vernacular definitions. It's strict meaning of "50%" is probably not even open to formal specification (which 50%?), so what we've been handed is a moveable PR feast (much as usual from the Musk(k)eg).

    3. cyberdemon Silver badge
      Terminator

      Re: "Semi sentient"

      But will it be "Three-Laws Safe"?

      Or will it get an update from the Cloud and hunt down Will Smith?

      1. Meeker Morgan

        The three laws are Turing equivalent to the halting problem.

        So sorry.

    4. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: "Semi sentient"

      Semi sentient: As sentient as an articulated lorry.

    5. Gordon 10
      Joke

      Re: "Semi sentient"

      Whats even better is that in a UK office the phrase "I have a semi" will have HR come after you quicker than you can say "harassment in the workplace".

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: "Semi sentient"

        Whereas in America people will think you're a truck driver, and wonder what you're doing in an office.

      2. Arthur the cat Silver badge

        Re: "Semi sentient"

        in a UK office the phrase "I have a semi" will have HR come after you

        If you said that near me I'd ask if you what colour your half of the drainpipe was.

    6. MachDiamond Silver badge

      Re: "Semi sentient"

      I'm so glad I wasn't having a soda when I heard about this or it would have been coming out of my nose.

    7. bombastic bob Silver badge
      Terminator

      Re: "Semi sentient"

      complete and utter bollocks.

      not really. SOME level of 'sentience' may be necessary for proper implementation of Rule 34.

      [At some point, (nearly) all domestic bots will become like "Nandroids"]

    8. Fruit and Nutcase Silver badge

      Re: "Semi sentient"

      Musk certainly has a knack for spouting complete and utter bollocks.

      Must have smoked a kipper or something

  2. A Non e-mouse Silver badge
    Meh

    Musk-Time

    As much as I admire what Elon has achieved with Tesla & SpaceX, one thing he is consistent with are his delivery estimates. "Optimistic" is a massive understatement. "Fantasy" might be a better word.

    1. Chris G

      Re: Musk-Time

      Musk's fantastic statements are not intended for the consumption of techno-savvy individuals, it is put out there to inspire the less well informed to part with their hard earned currency.

      As far as his humaniform bot is concerned, conventional thinking may be more aligned with the idea of more or less built to purpose forms for robots but nature has already shown the human form to be a useful general purpose design.

      Musk doesn't need millions of years to come up with something approximating a human as he has models to look at as a basis for applying existing tech to make something similar and then improve subsequent models.

      So long as it can recognise pedestrians and trucks......

      1. ThatOne Silver badge
        Thumb Up

        Re: Musk-Time

        > nature has already shown the human form to be a useful general purpose design

        Indeed, universality is the point here. Not to mention everything in our society is built to cater for human-shaped beings, so a human-shaped robot will literally "fit in", from furniture to using tools and man-machine (in this case machine-machine) interfaces.

    2. Gene Cash Silver badge

      Re: Musk-Time

      Well, in an interview where he was walking around the new Starship build, he did say his deadlines were super optimistic, then he said "if I wasn't optimistic, then I wouldn't have tried to land boosters on barges, or build the biggest fully reusable orbital rocket. Everyone has repeatedly told me how impossible all that is."

      However, I don't see how this robot "gets us to Mars"

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Musk-Time

        Hoping to transfer your consciousness to it via the neuralink they are developing?? He is 'optimistic' about things, so you never know:-)

        1. Sandstone
          Devil

          Re: Musk-Time

          He can do the upload over an RS232 link. Should be fast enough to transfer his moral compass.

      2. dmck

        Re: Musk-Time

        Robots to pull out and plant the initial solar panels

        1. ThatOne Silver badge

          Re: Musk-Time

          They do sound a little weak for building jobs. The gravity is weaker on Mars, but still, what's the point of spending big money to send there a construction worker who can't lift reasonably heavy stuff?

          I don't think this model is supposed to ever leave earth. Maybe a subsequent model built for defense contractors, and which has more impressive physical capacities? (Somebody has seen Sarah Connor lately?)

      3. A Non e-mouse Silver badge

        Re: Musk-Time

        However, I don't see how this robot "gets us to Mars"

        Robots don't need food, water, oxygen, etc for a 9-month trip to Mars.

        1. vtcodger Silver badge

          Re: Musk-Time

          And while robots aren't totally immune to radiation damage, they are decidedly less fragile in many ways than real humans. Moreover, if things go badly, they are very unlikely to file a lawsuit re damages caused by their employer's callous disregard for worker safety.

          However, that's probably a moot point as it is unlikely that Musk or anyone else will come up with a useful humaniform robot anytime soon. Consider that Tesla has been working on vehicle autonomy for a decade or so and so far all they have to show for the effort is an overhyped and none too reliable collision avoidance system, considerable bent metal, and a few dead bodies. Useful humaniform robots look to be a much more difficult problem. A problem for our great, great, ever so great grandkids most likely.

          1. Chris G

            Re: Musk-Time

            Humaniform, is just that, shaped like a human, I don't think there is a need for a fully aware and automomous robot just yet. All they need is to be relatively versatile and programmable for various tasks that require limited autonomy.

            Positronic brains or whatever equivalent develops are not that necessary and way too complicated for what will amount to a tool.

            I recently re-read the I robot series Asimov was way off on his ideas for robot psychology and cognition.

          2. DJO Silver badge

            Re: Musk-Time

            Well Boston Dynamics have a reasonable facsimile up and definitely running:

            https://www.theregister.com/2021/08/18/boston_dynamics_parkour/

            However they are rather quite about how long they can operate on internal battery power which is I suspect where the problems will arise for anybody considering robots of any kind.

        2. MachDiamond Silver badge

          Re: Musk-Time

          "Robots don't need food, water, oxygen, etc for a 9-month trip to Mars."

          They still need energy. If there were a safe portable power storage device to power these robots, we'd already have those exoskeleton suits that were in the Alien movies. To me, those make more sense. Without positronic brains, we aren't going to get R. Deneel Olivaw no matter how much pot Elon smokes.

          1. jake Silver badge

            Re: Musk-Time

            They need no energy at all during the trip. They ship like cord wood.

      4. PerlyKing

        Re: I don't see how this robot "gets us to Mars"

        It may not get us there, but could be useful when we are there. Extra pairs of hands that only need electricity, not food, air and water, could be quite handy.

        Musk isn't just focused on getting to Mars, he's also thinking about living there, not just a "boots and flag and go home" mission that most governments would come up with. In that context a humanoid form could make more sense in terms of mass budget than a dozen different specialised robots.

        Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying it's easy. But it's good that Musk is willing to have a real go at doing difficult things.

        1. Ian Johnston Silver badge

          Re: I don't see how this robot "gets us to Mars"

          In that context a humanoid form could make more sense in terms of mass budget than a dozen different specialised robots.

          Everybody knows that sending humans to Mars, or even to the Moon, is practically pointless, because robots can do ten times the work for a tenth of the price. Landing humans elsewhere is political grandstanding and that's it. So, given all that, there is no need to make robots for Mars look humanoid. As the current ones crawling around show.

          1. MachDiamond Silver badge

            Re: I don't see how this robot "gets us to Mars"

            "Everybody knows that sending humans to Mars, or even to the Moon, is practically pointless, because robots can do ten times the work for a tenth of the price."

            Steve Squyers' book "Roving Mars" on the Mars Exploration Rovers, he was the Principal Investigator, makes a good argument for going with robots for some things and humans for others. A geologist can do more exploratory work and identify more things of interest in a hour than one of the Mars rovers could do in a week. The book is very fascinating and worth a read. It's not pointless to send humans to the moon, it's just good to optimize what they are doing that robots can't do or can't do very well. I do think it's pointless to send people to Mars right now as the trip is too long for people to arrive in good health. If nuclear propulsion becomes a reality, the trip time could be cut way down and most of the trip done under acceleration to avoid the wasting effect of zero G on the body. Until then, robots are the best option.

            I'd like to see some workable approaches to putting sun shades around Venus.

          2. Flocke Kroes Silver badge

            Re: "Everybody knows ..."

            ... is a standard prefix to a marketing lie. The people who do not know are supposed to shut up to hide their ignorance. Next time you could try "Your neighbours have already signed up...", "Limited time offer..." , "All inclusive price" or "The pea is under one of these three shells".

        2. MachDiamond Silver badge

          Re: I don't see how this robot "gets us to Mars"

          "Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying it's easy. But it's good that Musk is willing to have a real go at doing difficult things."

          It's not that it's difficult, it doesn't look possible at the current state of engineering art. You can't railroad until it's time to railroad. The other consideration is "what is the end goal" for this sort of robot. With a big one-armed industrial robot, it's easy to see that you can attach a whole assortment of things to the end of the arm and have it do work. It's not problem for one of those to swing around a spot welder weighing 100kg. Do that with something human sized and it's welder one way and robot the other in a simple mass ratio mechanics problem. The big robots have better strength, longer reach, more precision and the ability to get stuck into jobs that are hazardous for people since we aren't as predictable.

    3. Arthur the cat Silver badge
      Megaphone

      Re: Musk-Time

      Musk is a showman. Think Edison crossed with Barnum. Keeps the punters and the press engaged, gets money from the hard of thinking and the overly optimistic.

    4. Fruit and Nutcase Silver badge
      Joke

      Re: Musk-Time

      "one thing he is consistent with are his delivery estimates. "Optimistic" is a massive understatement. "Fantasy" might be a better word."

      Looking at his Wikipedia entry, I'd say he's been responsible for 7 deliveries which were probably not far off the predicted lead time. Of course, it helps that it only needed his direct input at project initiation and the rest was left to whoever was Mrs Musk/Musk-Muse at the time to take to completion and delivery

      1. MachDiamond Silver badge

        Re: Musk-Time

        "I'd say he's been responsible for 7 deliveries which were probably not far off the predicted lead time. "

        Besides the flamethrower and the booze in a cool bottle, what were the other 5?

  3. jarda52005

    Theranos again?

    After successful deploy of 1 million working robotaxi on the road, this terminator thing is going to be a piece of cake.

    1. Skiron
      Terminator

      Re: Theranos again?

      Well, if it _is_ to do with Mars, then basically with Tesla and a robot we will have "Johnny Cabs" driving us around "Olympus Mons".

  4. macjules

    "It's intended to be friendly, of course, and navigate a world built for humans,"

    Let's hope it is better at going into caves than his last attempt.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: "It's intended to be friendly, of course, and navigate a world built for humans,"

      It would have been great, it was all pedo guys fault, this will hunt down pedo guy.

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Stop

    Nope

    No, just no. Fuck off, Musk.

  6. Spoon Monkey

    Tesla is also using a new type of inch. 5'8" used to be 172.72cm but the new improved Tesla Inch is 2.63cm, meaning 5'8" is now 178.8cm

    1. John Robson Silver badge

      I rather suspect that's a journalist error... since the tesla slide only mentions imperial units.

    2. diodesign (Written by Reg staff) Silver badge

      Typo

      It's a conversion error by us, and now fixed. Please report errors via corrections@theregister.com in future, thanks.

      C.

  7. Pascal Monett Silver badge
    Stop

    Humanoid bots

    I fully expect :

    - that this will take a lot longer than Musk says to hit the market (if it ever does)

    - that the bot will not be able to do anything more useful than carry something or stand guard

    - that it will have to be plugged in all night, else it will run out of power

    - that you'd better not put it in a crystal shop

    We don't have the technology for a fully-autonomous, humanoid robot. Hell, we can hardly make a dog-like robot that doesn't scream its presence to everyone within 100 meters.

    This is a pipe dream. Not going to happen.

    1. A Non e-mouse Silver badge
      1. Anonymous Coward
        FAIL

        Re: Humanoid bots

        They spent several months getting it to do one fixed routine.

        1. awavey

          Re: Humanoid bots

          Boston Dynamics robot spot dog,has been used by SpaceX for months,who nick named it Zeus.

          It's not a great leap of tech from dog shape to human shape.

          Yes Musks timelines are always optimistic, but he is the epitome of shoot for the moon and even if you miss you'll land among the stars, he pushes people to think nothing is impossible, and sometimes they do achieve impossible things.

          Which is alot better than the if we cant do it litigious style blocking approach his competitors favour.

        2. MachDiamond Silver badge

          Re: Humanoid bots

          "They spent several months getting it to do one fixed routine."

          It was a person in a costume mock up.

    2. MachDiamond Silver badge

      Re: Humanoid bots

      "- that it will have to be plugged in all night, else it will run out of power"

      It will have to be plugged in frequently during the day or it will run out of power. The human body is pretty incredible in what it does.

  8. steelpillow Silver badge
    Trollface

    "The bot has a brief to eliminate 'dangerous, repetitive, boring tasks.'"

    Like fitting the interior trim to an auto-auto?*

    * so that after the accident everybody will know it had clean knickers on

    1. Flywheel
      Terminator

      Re: "The bot has a brief to eliminate 'dangerous, repetitive, boring tasks.'"

      "Accountants everywhere will be terrified"

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    The bot has a brief to eliminate "dangerous, repetitive, boring tasks.

    So it's designed to listen to Elon's fantasy monologues then.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      The bot has a brief to eliminate 'dangerous, repetitive, boring tasks.

      Like prostitution. Modern sex dolls are already pretty sophisticated. All Elon needs to add is the ability to go to the bathroom and clean itself up afterwards, ready for the next one.

  10. Howard Sway Silver badge

    which is reassuring to anyone who has watched Westworld

    He didn't say that you could out-shoot it.

  11. Winkypop Silver badge
    Facepalm

    Put me down for a dozen Elon

    See icon

  12. IGotOut Silver badge

    I'll take it on in a fight.

    So long as I don't weigh 30 tonnes, have flashing lights all over my body, be pushing a bicycle and be surrounded by well lit barriers, it has no chance of hitting me.

  13. Andy 73 Silver badge

    That time of year...

    When Musk makes vague promises about fantasy technology that will be delivered "very soon", and will completely transform the world..

    Not sure he's kidding anyone these days apart from the most fanatical.

  14. batfink

    Is this a joke?

    Humaniform? Autonomous? The current state of robotics is "we're struggling to make something walk bipedally when physically strapped to power and processing capacity", and Elon reckons he'll have a prototype next year?

    What's the use case for this? We already have robots that do "repetitive, dangerous tasks", but there's no need for them to be humaniform. Butlerbot maybe????

    Hmm - maybe it'll be an autonomous chauffeurbot for Tesla owners...?

    1. vtcodger Silver badge

      Re: Is this a joke?

      Well, a humaniform robot might be suitable for search and rescue, firefighting, stocking/fetching goods in a store with a diverse inventory with widely varying packaging, etc. But I have to think that in each case, a purpose built device with suitable attachments would likely be cheaper and more reliable.

    2. MachDiamond Silver badge

      Re: Is this a joke?

      "What's the use case for this?

      An Electric Monk to believe the latest Musk fantasy for us so we aren't bothered?

  15. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Ohhh, master...

    you're so much bigger and stronger than I am. I have activated my internal stimulation mechanism. Take me now. Oh, yesssss, Elon... <brrt> Oh, yessss, Master. You feel so good.

    1. bombastic bob Silver badge
      Terminator

      Re: Ohhh, master...

      you KNOW that the biggest robotics industry of the future will be Rule 34 based... and the most human-looking robots, for obvious reasons. Legal or otherwise.

  16. Stevie

    Bah!

    Never mind "dangerous tasks" you dimwit journo!

    Ask Musk when we will have proper Fembots for the tired executive!

    Honestly, I thought the staff of El Reg were IT professionals.

  17. Ian Johnston Silver badge

    This simply confirms my theory that Elon Musk read far too many "Tom Swift Jr" books as a child.

    Tesla Cars? Tom Swift and his Triphibian Atomicar.

    SpaceX? Tom Swift and his Rocket Ship

    The Boring Company? Tom Swift and his Sub-Ocean Geotron

    Hyperloop? Tom Swift and his Repelatron Skyway

    and so now he has reached Tom Swift and his Giant Robot.

    1. MachDiamond Silver badge

      "This simply confirms my theory that Elon Musk read far too many "Tom Swift Jr" books as a child.

      Tesla Cars? Tom Swift and his Triphibian Atomicar.

      SpaceX? Tom Swift and his Rocket Ship

      The Boring Company? Tom Swift and his Sub-Ocean Geotron

      Hyperloop? Tom Swift and his Repelatron Skyway

      and so now he has reached Tom Swift and his Giant Robot."

      Tesla cars: Detroit Electric, Baker electric, GM EV-1, 97-98 Ford Ranger, Toyota Rav4 EV

      SpaceX: NASA, ULA, Armadillo Aerospace, Masten Space Systems, North American Aviation, Boeing

      Boring Company: Brunel and a world full of subways, sewers, the London underground mail line

      Hyperloop: Patented years ago as the Vactrain (1945, Robert Goddard. Yes, that Robert Goddard)

      The best that can be said is Elon has popularized the EV. Building the Supercharger network went a long way to allaying fears of not being able to charge a Tesla but kneecapped itself by going with a non-standard proprietary interface and plug. As far as SpaceX goes, landing on a barge is very impressive, but everything else had already been done by multiple entities long before. See "Rocket Propulsion Elements" by Gary Sutton for a good primer. My copy is autographed.

      For very critical looks at Elon's projects, see "Adam Something" on YT or CommonSenseSkeptic. They even show the math.

      1. bombastic bob Silver badge
        Devil

        why can't Elon's projects just be FUN?

  18. Snowy Silver badge
    Facepalm

    I wonder

    How much government money he is looking for to fund this!

    1. MachDiamond Silver badge

      Re: I wonder

      "How much government money he is looking for to fund this!"

      All of it plus 10%

      1. bombastic bob Silver badge
        Devil

        Re: I wonder

        I see money from governments going to WAY LESS BENEFICIAL things all of the time. Might as well do something FUN with the money, other than empowering politicians and paying off political debts...

        Sure. Let's build a Sci Fi world based on Elon Musk's (sometimes crazy) ideas. Why not? MUCH better than "clown world", I bet. [and it could be a jobs bonanza]

        optimism sometimes has interesting positive effects on EVERYONE. I mean if YOU saw someone in a jet pack flying by, wouldn't YOU be inspired? OK I stole that line but seriously...

  19. martinusher Silver badge

    Normal scheduling

    Many of us work in development so we're used to mentally correcting management schedules to approximate realistic time. So the fact that Musk's projects are often behind schedule doesn't bother me, especially given what his companies are trying to do. The fact is that when a company like SpaceX delivers it really does deliver. Its now got an incredible capability, reliably launching payloads at a fraction of the cost of other launch vendors. Tesla not only delivered viable electric vehicles but also the entire infrastructure needed to build and manage them. Much of what is done by Musk's companies is truly leading edge so I modulate my expectations accordingly -- after all, to quote Musk, "Self driving vehicles are hard" so only the truly ignorant would switch on Autopilot and expect it to reliably take them home while they napped in the back seat.

    As for Mars, the more we know about the place the less it looks like a viable place for humans to visit, much less try to live there. I live not far from the Mojave desert and desolate as this might be its positively verdant compared to Mars. We humans might be uniquely well adapted for thriving on Earth but we're not going to be able to survive there without a whole lot of technology, so much so that it might be better to just send the machines and leave the wetware at home.

    1. MachDiamond Silver badge

      Re: Normal scheduling

      "reliably launching payloads at a fraction of the cost of other launch vendors. "

      The big question is if he's doing it at a profit. SX raises billions a year in funding drives. The math on Starlink looks really dicey and may wind up being something that will never pay back unless they can flog it off in an IPO since any private investment company will be able and will run the numbers. Starship is a long way from being viable. They have only got one empty shell to not crash. I've got the trigger ready to pull on a long telephoto lens rental and a bomb squad suit to go watch the full stack from South Padre Island if there is enough prior notice and I can spare the time.

      I do see some merit in letting the rocket body assume it's natural falling orientation rather than fighting to keep it upright, but being upright means the fuel/oxidizer will move to the bottom of the tanks with a bit of persuasion and there isn't a radical maneuver right at the end. Something that's not going to work with people on board and certain won't work at Mars. In fact, decelerating and landing on Mars will take a whole different approach and so will landing on the moon.

  20. Meeker Morgan

    Sentient "enough"?

    Meaning able to work in an automobile factory doing the (otherwise) un-automated stuff?

    That's the big issue, assuming the sex-robot business is not being considered.

    1. jake Silver badge

      Re: Sentient "enough"?

      To hell with a sex robot. Sex is so easy that most little boys do it all by themselves.

      What I want is a household robot which can pilot my flying car, dig the spuds and mow the lawns (and take care of the equipment required), do the dishes and the laundry (including properly putting away both), fetch me the snail-mail and a beer, and change the sprog's nappies ... all in one unit.

  21. steviebuk Silver badge

    Asimo

    Has he not looked at Honda's Asimo. That was truely great. Had noticed not heard in mentioned in a while and it would appear because Honda completely canned it in 2018. So if they'd gotten that far and canned Asimo, then what is Elon thinking? Can't help but feel he talks bollocks just to get more investment.

  22. glynsdavies@ntlworld.com

    Tesla D1

    Could the D1 possibly be a reincarnation of the Inmos 'Transputer'?

    1. sawatts

      Re: Tesla D1

      Watching the presentation I was getting 30 yrs old flashbacks. Wonder if they've tried Occam...

    2. jake Silver badge

      Re: Tesla D1

      Sounds more like Trilogy's "System On A Chip" to me.

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