back to article Boffins find an 'actionable clock' hiding in your blood, ticking away to your death

Buck Institute boffins, with colleagues at Stanford University, claim to have created the first "actionable clock" which can figure out when you're likely to croak it, and even help prolong your life: the inflammatory clock of ageing, or iAge. "Standard immune metrics which can be used to identify individuals most at risk for …

  1. W.S.Gosset Silver badge

    iAge

    Yes. Yes I do.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: iAge

      You are infringing Apple copyright. Please desist.

      1. Korev Silver badge
        Coat

        Re: iAge

        iSee

      2. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge

        Re: iAge

        You are infringing Apple copyright. Please desist.

        I admit it. I have rounded corners and respond to touch and gestures.

        1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

          Re: iAge

          "iAdmit it. I have rounded corners and respond to touch and gestures.

          FTFY

    2. Eclectic Man Silver badge
      Joke

      Re: iAge

      Well, you should decide on an age to be and stick with it (cf Lady Bracknell in 'The Importance of Being Ernest'). Don't be a quitter!

      1. W.S.Gosset Silver badge

        Re: Don't be a quitter!

        Quitter?! I've never queeted!

  2. Danny 2 Silver badge

    Missing Inaction

    I met up with my first love and she looks 32, I look double that. I drink and smoke, she exercises and eats well. Live fast, die looking awful.

    Other people's deaths no longer disturb me. They are the alarm on the LED clock ruining my dream and urging me to wake up as I hit snooze for nine more minutes of slumber. They are the roadside memorials for teenage Italian motorcyclists that act as milestones on mountain roads, photographs on granite of young men on bikes not wearing helmets because life is just too long at that age, in that heat.

    They are the few that you hear about as dozens of others just disappear from view without confirmation or ceremony. They shall never be forgotten, we comfort and delude ourselves even as we ourselves are being forgotten.

    Gestaþáttr number 77:

    Deyr fé,

    deyja frændur,

    deyr sjálfur ið sama;

    ek veit einn at aldri deyr,

    dómr um dauðan hvern.

    Animals die,

    friends die,

    and thyself, too, shall die;

    but one thing I know that never dies

    the tales of the one who died.

    1. Julz Silver badge

      Re: Missing Inaction

      If death is an illusion and life is real

      can you explain why I don't feel.

      The wound doesn't hurt but neither does it heal

      so life must be fake and death must be real.

      1. Natalie Gritpants Jr Silver badge

        Re: Missing Inaction

        Here's to the wound that never heals

        The longer you stroke it the softer it feels

    2. gandalfcn Silver badge

      Re: Missing Inaction

      "I look double that. I drink and smoke, she exercises and eats well. Live fast, die looking awful." I have the opposite experiences. Maybe you didn't drink enough.

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Missing Inaction

      When my time comes

      Forget the wrongs that I've done

      Help me leave behind some reasons to be missed

      Chester Bennington, March 20, 1976 – July 20, 2017

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Missing Inaction

        Help me leave behind some reasons to be missed

        I have the documentation to the Production processing system in my head and I haven't written it down [yet]...

    4. This post has been deleted by a moderator

      1. gandalfcn Silver badge

        Re: Missing Inaction

        Priceless. And probably true

  3. Pascal Monett Silver badge
    Thumb Up

    "our completely unbiased approach"

    I congratulate them if they have actually achieved that. Being totally unbiased about anything is already impressive.

  4. skeptical i
    Pint

    So? What's his secret?

    One assumes that the 105-year-old gent has been asked multiple times about his "secret to long life", but nothing in the article? Are people keeping schtum so they can figure out how to cram good wine and better music (or whatever he does) into a patentable pill?

    1. gandalfcn Silver badge

      Re: So? What's his secret?

      Being italian it probably means lots of wine, good olive oil and splendid food. It has long been recognised that a Mediterranean diet is good for you.

      1. DS999 Silver badge

        Re: So? What's his secret?

        But that's true of many Italians, but he was an outlier.

        Most likely he just won the genetic lottery.

        1. slimshady76
          Joke

          Re: So? What's his secret?

          Quick! Somebody get the guy a ticket to Discworld!!!

      2. Stork Silver badge

        Re: So? What's his secret?

        Only the Mediterranean diet isn’t that popular anymore, check obesity and diabetes rates in the region.

        Here in Portugal meat and sugar consumption has rocketed the last decades, and many people’s diet is almost fibre free. Good for sale of laxatives.

        And that is before you decide what Mediterranean diet actually is (I know Portugal is not Mediterranean, but traditional food is similar)

        1. gandalfcn Silver badge

          Re: So? What's his secret?

          As the saying goes "God Bless 'Merica". The culture promoting and exporting rubbish.

      3. Rich 11 Silver badge

        Re: So? What's his secret?

        Being italian it probably means lots of wine, good olive oil and splendid food.

        OK, so I've achieved the first of these but I'm not sure I've got the dedication left for the rest. I'll just have to coast through life and hope for the best.

        1. gandalfcn Silver badge

          Re: So? What's his secret?

          Nessuna forza?

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: So? What's his secret?

      Pine cones. Uncooked, unsalted. Two every day.

      1. KittenHuffer Silver badge
        Unhappy

        Re: So? What's his secret?

        Taken rectally!!!!

        I considered this but decided it was too much of a pain in the ass!

        1. MiguelC Silver badge
          Coat

          Re: So? What's his secret?

          poor donkey...

        2. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: So? What's his secret?

          damn, you beat me to it!

          ...

          what is it about pine cones that make the most obvious connection, I wonder... One of the (unprobed) mysteries of life...

          1. Irony Deficient Silver badge

            what is it about pine cones that make the most obvious connection, I wonder…

            If you’re of a certain age, you might remember Euell Gibbons in a commercial for Grape-Nuts breakfast cereal — “Ever eat a pine tree? Many parts are edible.”

      2. Radio Wales
        Flame

        Re: So? What's his secret?

        It doesn't take long to discover there is a right way up when ingesting these cones and a wrong way up.

    3. Gene Cash Silver badge

      Re: So? What's his secret?

      I'm sure he just has no idea other than "I hain't died yit"

    4. TimMaher Silver badge
      Headmaster

      Re: So? What's his secret?

      It may be genetics.

      There is a cluster of villages in Northern Italy, I think in the Alps, that is famous for their inhabitants longevity.

      When it was studied, the most defining commonality was the people’s local breeding and genetic history.

      Can’t remember where or when exactly but I remember the discussion some years ago.

      1. Irony Deficient Silver badge

        Re: So? What’s his secret?

        You might be thinking of the “blue zone” of mainly mountainous villages near the eastern coast of central Sardinia, between the Golfo di Orosei and Capo Bellavista. The genetic component is the “M26” marker, which is most common in, but not unique to, Sardinia. Note that diet, exercise, and social interactions are also believed to be relevant in the proportion of centenarians in these villages vs. non-“blue zones”.

        1. Stork Silver badge

          Re: So? What’s his secret?

          A lot of the same things apply to the blue zones in Costa Rica and Okinawa too

      2. gandalfcn Silver badge

        Re: So? What's his secret?

        So incest really is best.

    5. yetanotheraoc Silver badge

      Re: So? What's his secret?

      They are claiming seven-year sensitivity! If the 105 yo gent with iAge 25 dies at 155, what would his iAge be then? 50? Still 25? That's going to seriously mess with their standard deviation. Better just hide that data point with whiteout/tipex.

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Do I really want this?

    I used to think I wanted to live forever, but

    * gestures wildly at the state of the world *

    now I'm not so sure.

    1. Draco
      Windows

      Re: Do I really want this?

      Is it better to outlive the idiots or to go to one's grave knowing the idiots outlived you?

      Personally, I would prefer to outlive the idiots - if only to hand out Darwin Awards.

      1. Cronus

        Re: Do I really want this?

        Alas there will always be more idiots.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Do I really want this?

          "Alas there will always be more idiots."

          The social/political events in the last few years have convinced me that the human psyche is intrinsically flawed in reasoning. Each new generation has the potential to favour tribalism and superstition. Northern Ireland recently had a party leader and a First Minister who both publicly professed that Earth is only 6,000 years old.

        2. normal1

          Re: Do I really want this?

          Nature adores a vaccuum between the ears.

    2. DiViDeD

      Re: Do I really want this?

      I certainly intend living forever - even if it kills me.

  6. redpawn Silver badge

    I keep my immune system

    in the freezer. Only thaw and use a little bit when needed. This should help it last as long as possible. However, I keep my beer in the fridge and the kettle on.

    1. RegGuy1 Silver badge

      Re: I keep my immune system

      ... and the kettle on what?

  7. HildyJ Silver badge
    Windows

    Thoughts

    Yes, I am going to die; so are you. Remember, “Inside Every Living Person is a Dead Person Waiting to Get Out.” (Terry Pratchett, Reaper Man)

    Could a generally available iAge test give me an idea of when? Possibly. Do I want to know? No.

    I am old and my "actionable clock" is at least as old as I am, given my declining organ functions. I intend to enjoy what I can, while I can, and then, against the advice of Dylan Thomas, “Go Gentle Into That Good Night."

    But enough morbid thoughts. The real question is when will Apple throw their sueball at iAge for using a lower case i followed a capital letter.

    1. Neoc

      Re: Thoughts

      And you could still get in a car accident before your scheduled iAge...

    2. gandalfcn Silver badge

      Re: Thoughts

      You sound like me., with the proviso that I gave up smoking and getting pissed.

      1. Jamesit

        Re: Thoughts

        "The warning most people get is mind that bus, what bus? *splat*" -Arnold J. Rimmer

        1. Neil Barnes Silver badge

          Re: Thoughts

          My late father's thoughts, when told if he did thus and such and didn't eat or drink this and that, so that he might live another year, were:

          What? Another year, stuck in this chair/bed and plumbed up to god knows what and with terminal bladder cancer? Why? Sod that, bring another bottle of wine!

          1. ICL1900-G3 Bronze badge

            Re: Thoughts

            Indeed. There was once a cartoon, in Private Eye, I think, of two old boys sitting in a nursing home lounge. One says to the other 'Just think, if we'd smoked and drank, we'd have missed all this.'

            1. Neil Barnes Silver badge

              Re: Thoughts

              On his deathbed he was complaining that basically he was bored, and wouldn't something please get a move on...

              His last words to me, after holding his breath for a minute, were 'fooled you!' :)

              (He died a week or so later; I was not present).

          2. Arthur the cat Silver badge

            Re: Thoughts

            Father of a friend got the "give up smoking and drinking" lecture after a heart attack and replied "sod it, life wouldn't be worth living that way". He actually died (after a long and interesting life) when he fell off the roof while fixing a TV aerial.

            1. Uncle Slacky Silver badge

              Re: Thoughts

              Was it Rod Hull?

              1. Arthur the cat Silver badge

                Re: Thoughts

                No. As far as I know, his life never involved emus. It did involve lots of military service.

          3. Shalghar Bronze badge

            Re: Thoughts

            Yeah but if you give up anything worth living for there is still no guarantee you will exist another year - there is only a guarantee that whatever time is left will FEEL much longer.

            Seen it with my grandpa, also cancer (of several kinds) that got him. Sadly, he believed in the theory of refusing to enjoy the rest of his time to possibly delay the inevitable. That really took his toll on his personality and his surroundings and did not really prolong his existence over the roughly assumed date of passing.

            If i may say so with hopefully not sounding disrespectful, your father had the right idea.

      2. Someone Else Silver badge

        Re: Thoughts

        You sound like me., with the proviso that I gave up smoking and getting pissed.

        Yes, Anger Management can prolong life....

        Wait...what? You're a Brit?

        Oh. Never mind....

    3. ravenviz Silver badge

      Re: Thoughts

      “Don’t you forget about dying,

      Don’t you forget about your friend death,

      Don’t you forget that you will die.”

      - “Pro Memoria”, Ghost

    4. Missing Semicolon Silver badge
      Devil

      Re: Thoughts

      The real worry is of course the pension and insurance industry. You'll find that those thieving cheaters will no doubt use a young iAge as a reason to pay a poor annuity rate, or a high iAge be justification for higher premiums for term life assurance.

      1. ThatOne Silver badge

        Re: Thoughts

        > the pension and insurance industry

        Indeed, and that's probably the only use of this discovery. I can't really imagine it becoming a standard test everybody can do.

        At best some obscure internet operation, where you send in genetic material, fill in some extremely extensive marketing questionnaires and get eventually sent a vague semi-random number ("between the age of 70 and 90").

        But as a way to raise insurance prices it's perfect. Sorry, you're a liability, you'll have to pay more!

        1. Stork Silver badge

          Re: Thoughts

          And the brilliant thing is it can be used for both life insurance and annuities - "you are far too healthy, your annuity is a risk to us"

      2. Shalghar Bronze badge

        Re: Thoughts

        I remember a scifi short story* about a man who invented a machine that could precisely scan and calculate the exact date and time of death.

        He was murdered by some insurance brokers, his machine and every blueprints destroyed in that story. I believe one such inventor would also die in the real world, his invention, however would possibly "live on" and benefit the usual suspects.

        * Not sure if that was in a Heinlein collection or some mixed author book.

        1. Intractable Potsherd Silver badge

          Re: Thoughts

          Yes, it is "Lifeline", RAH's first published story. The scientist is Professor Hugo Pinero. The text is at https://metallicman.com/laoban4site/life-line-full-text-by-robert-heinlein/

    5. TimMaher Silver badge
      Thumb Up

      Re: Dylan Thomas

      He didn’t want to go gently... and he didn’t.

      “Do not go gentle into that good night,

      Old age should burn and rave at close of day;

      Rage, rage against the dying of the light.”

      Fabulous poem though and I guess snuffing it in a bar while pissed is as good a way as any.

    6. RegGuy1 Silver badge

      Re: Thoughts

      The real question is when will Apple throw their sueball at iAge for using a lower case i followed a capital letter.

      iCunt tell you.

  8. Neoc
    Trollface

    I'm surprised Apple hasn't raise a Trademark violation yet.

    1. HorseflySteve

      Intel trademarked the lower case letter i when Apple was a brand owned by The Beatles.

    2. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

      It's not unique to Apple other than in a very narrow field.

      At the very least, they had to buy the iPad trademark from Fujitso and a Chinese company (under some questionable shenanigans, resulting in Apple losing $million in compo in a Chinese court). Likewise, there are and have been many non-Apple, non-related items using a leading lower case i without issue.

      1. A.P. Veening Silver badge

        Including IBM with the iSeries.

  9. RLWatkins

    "Actionable clock"?

    In business jargon, "actionable" means... pretty much whatever the speaker wants it to mean.

    What does it mean in medical jargon? That doctors can bill for it? That isn't entirely clear. (Yes, I'm in the US.)

    1. Mike 137 Silver badge

      Re: "Actionable clock"?

      "What does it mean in medical jargon?"

      Here across the pond it could well mean "liable to land you in court" - as in "actionable negligence".

    2. Wellyboot Silver badge

      Re: "Actionable clock"?

      >>What does it mean in medical jargon?<<<

      For medical insurance, it means half of the population (almost irrespective of actual age) are immediately stuffed...

  10. EatsRootsAndLeaves

    Naive? Or something else?

    "Using iAge it's possible to predict seven years in advance who is going to become frail," he said of the study's findings. "That leaves us lots of room for interventions."

    It's absolutely endearing that they even think this is how it'll be used. In the US at least, insurance companies will take this and jack up your rates or deny you coverage, if it's not the 'right' value. Or is endearing the wrong word? Naive? Disingenuous? Unless you're rich enough, in which case you just buy 'good stuff' from poor people.

    Just like Fitbits and such trackers have been weaponized. I looked for a way to manually add steps to my daily count after a soccer game in which I couldn't wear it and discovered that it's absolutely impossible. Why? There are insurance companies and employers that require customers/employees to do the 10,000 steps daily or... else. So, manually adding steps wouldn't allow a club to be held over their heads.

    1. gandalfcn Silver badge

      Re: Naive? Or something else?

      Oh to live in the Land of the Free.

      1. My-Handle Silver badge
        Joke

        Re: Naive? Or something else?

        Free? It's downright extortionate.

      2. Anomalous Cowturd
        Headmaster

        Re: Naive? Or something else?

        Land of the free?

        That was a typo. It's actually "The land of the fee."

        1. A.P. Veening Silver badge

          Re: Naive? Or something else?

          That was a typo. It's actually "The land of the fee."

          "And the home of the slave" to finish the quote.

      3. Alumoi Silver badge

        Re: Naive? Or something else?

        If you could go back in time to before 1500 (roughly), you could still live in it.

    2. DJV Silver badge

      Re: manually adding steps

      "Manually" could mean using your hands. In which case the answer is obviously a hand job - i.e. your "steps" to pleasure!*

      * And if someone else is doing the pleasuring for you then make sure they are wearing the Fitbit instead of you!

    3. Disgusted Of Tunbridge Wells Silver badge

      Re: Naive? Or something else?

      If it were possible to say that you are going to die in a year, why would an insurance company offer you a policy that paid out more than a years premiums?

      Why do you think they owe you?

      > I looked for a way to manually add steps to my daily count after a soccer game in which I couldn't wear it and discovered that it's absolutely impossible.

      You could (probably can) buy football boots that have room for an aftermarket tracker under the sole. That can tell you various metrics ( I had the boots for a while, but didn't want to spend the extra on the tracker ). Mine were Adidas.

    4. ThatOne Silver badge
      Happy

      Re: Naive? Or something else?

      > I looked for a way to manually add steps to my daily count

      Attach it to something moving...

      I guess you didn't watch "The Big Bang Theory"?... Howard Wolowitz built a simple machine to move his fitness tracker, I don't remember in which episode.

  11. PTW
    Windows

    Henry Allingham

    WWI veteran, when asked to what he attributed his long life, he replied, "Cigarettes, whisky, and wild, wild women" 6 June 1896 - 18 July 2009 (113y 42d) R.I.P.

    The general trouble with the medical profession, they think bodies should be perfect when they're lowered into the ground/burnt. I'm with Hunter S. Thompson: “Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming "Wow! What a Ride!”

    that's me, rather than Mr. Allingham BTW ------------->

  12. ravenviz Silver badge

    "On average, centenarians have an immune age that is 40 years younger than what is considered 'normal',"

    I presume this means on average for centenarians, compared to normal for everyone?

    1. Disgusted Of Tunbridge Wells Silver badge

      Either that, or the individuals score when averaged over a number of days?

      1. ravenviz Silver badge
        Windows

        Do you mean like on a stag weekend?

    2. Shalghar Bronze badge

      That could also mean that todays peoples immune systems are worse than that of a centenarian.

      Maybe the long living people have the "normal" immune system and the so called "normal" people have second or third rate ones ?

  13. Pen-y-gors Silver badge

    <music on>Who wants to live forever?

    Not me. I'll settle for a few millennia.

    Thank you Brian May

  14. werdsmith Silver badge

    There is a cocktail that can add 5 years to your life.....

    Statins, beta blockers, Metformin, blood thinners, ramipril, shaken not stirred.

    1. Wellyboot Silver badge

      But it doesn't add the five years in your twenties where it would be really nice...

      1. Stork Silver badge

        nah - but if you could push your biological age 5 years the right way that would also be worth having, right?

        Better half and I are early 50es, dropped (almost all*) animal products 2 years ago. She also dropped a lot of weight (without going hungry), excess blood pressure, knee and back pain. My starting arthritis disappeared. I know it is anecdotal, but those are probably the sort of changes the project refers to.

        - I don't miss meat, but sometimes cheese...

        *) We now and then have cockles or clams.

    2. Arthur the cat Silver badge

      Statins made me sick as a dog, beta blockers caused me total brain fog so I couldn't do anything except simply exist. People vary.

      1. DJV Silver badge

        You could always become a politician... most of them are brain dead at best.

    3. Draco
      Holmes

      Ooooh ... those I know to be taking statins tell me the side effects are nasty.

      This may be observer bias, since those not having nasty side effects are unlikely to be informing me of the un-nasty effects of said statins.

      1. Hugh Pumphrey

        In reply to

        "Ooooh ... those I know to be taking statins tell me the side effects are nasty."

        and

        "This may be observer bias, since those not having nasty side effects are unlikely to be informing me of the un-nasty effects of said statins."

        Most people can take statins with no noticeable side effects. I am one of "most people": possibly a good thing as I had a dodgy coronary artery stented a few years back. If statins give you side-effects that means you have to stop taking them and do without their statistical benefits. But it does not mean that everyone put on statins will experience the same things.

    4. TimMaher Silver badge
      Happy

      Cocktail

      I also add a drop of Allopurinol.

  15. GreyWolf

    Epigram

    "My life is so flat I can see my gravestone at the other end".

    No thanks.

  16. dirtygreen

    Open access

    The Reg says, correctly: "The team's paper has been published under closed-access terms in the journal Nature Aging."

    But some people may be interested to know that there is an open-access preprint at https://www.biorxiv.org/content/10.1101/840363v1.full.pdf+html

    1. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

      Re: Open access

      Obligatory Police Warning: open access journal sites offering free access to tax payer funded research support terrorism and drug smuggling (probably)

      1. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

        Re: Open access

        In case people didn't get the joke: city_of_london_police_sci_hub_warning

  17. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    figure out when you're likely to croak it, and even help prolong your life

    there's absolutely NO plan to use it for the very much opposite effect, nosir!

  18. Draco
    Windows

    Already skeptical ...

    From the preprint version:

    We studied the blood immunome of 1001 individuals age 8-96 and derived an inflammatory clock of aging (iAge), which tracked with multi-morbidity and immunosenescence. In centenarians, iAge was on average, 40 years lower than their corresponding chronological age.

    Right of the bat, we see that there are no centenarians in the study.

    Although, centenarians are introduced later on (as a calibrating group):

    To investigate the relationship between inflammatory age and longevity we computed an inflammatory index (inflammatory age minus chronological age) in an additional cohort of 37 subjects, 18 of which were 50-79 years old and 19 centenarians, except for 1 who was 99 years old at the time of blood extraction. Despite a significant difference in the inflammatory index between centenarians and control older adults group a large variance was observed in the inflammatory index of centenarians suggesting that there may be other mechanisms apart from inflammation conferring disease protection and long lifespan to these subjects.

    But the results from the centenarians suggests that there may be other mechanisms apart from inflammation conferring disease protection and long lifespan to these subjects.

    To be filed under: "More Rigorous Studies Required"

    1. A.P. Veening Silver badge

      Re: Already skeptical ...

      To be filed under: "More Rigorous Studies Required"

      "Rigorous" as in "Rigor Mortis"?

      1. DJV Silver badge

        Re: "Rigorous" as in "Rigor Mortis"?

        Or Keith Rigor (or was it Richards, I forget).

  19. Cynic_999 Silver badge

    Is this a good thing?

    I can well believe that science may find a way to increase our average life span, but would that really be something desirable? It would result in increasing the World's population - and overpopulation is the root cause of just about all the things we see as being major problems. Pollution, energy crises, housing shortage, food problems, job shortages etc.

    It would also mean that we would either have to increase the retirement age or have a huge increase in the percentage of non-productive members of society. At the end of the day I think most people would prefer a shorter life with a high standard of living than a longer life with a low standard of living. As with most things, we cannot only look at the quantity, we must also look at the quality.

    (Life in any case is a sexually transmitted terminal condition).

    1. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

      Re: Is this a good thing?

      Or in the short term - they identify the gene and then refuse to sell medical insurance to the people without it, or life insurance and pensions to those with it.

    2. yetanotheraoc Silver badge

      Re: Is this a good thing?

      Silly man, what are you worried about? This will be marketed to billionaires only -- longer life with a high standard of living.

  20. Paul Crawford Silver badge

    Interesting research, we are one step closer to having a Machine of Death.

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Machine_of_Death

  21. Paul Hovnanian Silver badge

    The doctor says ...

    ... "I know how long you have left to live. 20."

    "20 what? Years?"

    "19 ... 18 ..."

    1. TimMaher Silver badge
      Trollface

      Re: The doctor says ...

      “I’m sorry Mr. Smith but you have to give up sex, alcohol, tobacco and general partying.”

      “Will I live longer Doctor?”

      “No. But it will feel like it.”

      1. Eclectic Man Silver badge
        Coat

        Re: The doctor says ...

        I went to the Keswick Jazz Festival a while ago. Acker Bilk (him of 'Stranger on the Shore') did the chat between numbers:

        Patient: (After examination) 'How am I?'

        Doctor: 'You'll live to be 90!'

        Patient: 'I am 90.'

        Doctor: 'Well, that's your lot then.'

        I thank you.

  22. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Cool...

    So we have a built in crontab.

    1. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

      Re: Cool...

      Still better than systemd

  23. Paul Hovnanian Silver badge

    I want more life ...

    "All those moments will be lost in time... like tears in rain... Time to die."

    - R. Batty

  24. lowwall

    Kept waiting for this

    How has this not been posted yet?

    And you run, and you run to catch up with the sun but it's sinking

    Racing around to come up behind you again

    The sun is the same in a relative way but you're older

    Shorter of breath and one day closer to death

    Every year is getting shorter, never seem to find the time

    Plans that either come to naught or half a page of scribbled lines

    Hanging on in quiet desperation is the English way

    The time is gone, the song is over, thought I'd something more to say

  25. TheRealRoland
    Coat

    I've got this painting of me, see...

    <body>

POST COMMENT House rules

Not a member of The Register? Create a new account here.

  • Enter your comment

  • Add an icon

Anonymous cowards cannot choose their icon

Biting the hand that feeds IT © 1998–2022