back to article Salesforce's Patterson blazes a trail for humble-braggers everywhere

Gavin Patterson got his break in marketing by heading up Procter & Gamble’s promotion of its Pantene line of shampoos and conditioners and, just like his voluminous glossy hair, the Salesforce president’s proclivity for self-promotion has never really lost its shine. It was on display for all to see at the Salesforce Live UK …

  1. Chris G

    No 'I' in team/s

    There are not many real salesmen in teams either.

    I any sales team most of the individuals in the team would cheerfully sell any of the other team members assets including their grannies.

    In my limited sales experience the sales guys are often successful in spite of the crap the marketing wonks spout, not because of it.

    1. CloudMonster

      Re: No 'I' in team/s

      Let me guess. you're a salesman.

      1. Lon24

        Re: No 'I' in team/s

        I will just say in my younger days there is nowhere greater this side of heaven than being the support person who can get the salesmen out of shit-creek. That was if the developers had put them there. It was even better if the salesmen had sailed up said channel with a smidgin of over promising.

        Good salesmen remember that - and you. Bad salesmen were ex-salesmen if they didn't.

    2. Eclectic Man Silver badge

      Re: No 'I' in team/s

      Chris G: "In my limited sales experience the sales guys are often successful in spite of the crap the marketing wonks spout, not because of it."

      In my limited experience, sales guys are often successful in spite of the technical and security teams attempting to force reality down their throats, often stating things like "this is technically impossible" or "this is illegal" or "this is in breach of mandatory government regulations". Never get between a sales person and their bonus.

  2. Anonymous Coward

    The oleaginous chisel-jawed Brit

    > The oleaginous chisel-jawed Brit

    Surely you mean "The olay-ginous chisel-jawed Brit..."?

    Disclaimer: Joke may not work in your locale due to brand naming variations. Other concoctions of chemicals for rubbing into your face available. Always consult your bank balance before purchasing cosmetics.

  3. disgruntled yank


    Do British Olympians compete on a Team GB? I'd have guessed it to be a UK team.

    When Mr. P departs, can Salesforce say goodbye with the old South Pacific song, "I'm Going to Wash That Man Right Out of My Hair?"

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Question

      The UK team at the Olympics is indeed "Team GB". My best guess is that it's because the three-letter code for UK athletes is GBR. Someone from Northern Ireland is better placed than me to comment on how that is viewed by UK athletes who aren't from Great Britain. (Views from other places such as the Channel Islands or the Isle of Man also welcome.)

      1. tiggity Silver badge

        Re: Question

        It's a bit complex in NI as individuals can choose to be in Team Ireland or Team GB (in some sports).

        In other sports its Team Ireland as your only option (e.g. boxing, unless you move out of Ireland to a GB club).

        Isle of Man etc is fun, Team GB for Olympics but their own entity in Commonwealth Games (just like Scotland, Wales etc. (so someone IOM born, like Cav*, could (and did) represent their birth island in the Commonwealth games)

        * Chose Mark Cavendish as IOM example as he may well be in the news soon for record equalling performance in Le Tour

        1. The Bobster

          Re: Question

          Alright there, yessir!

          Spent really too much time discussing this in work back in 2012.

          Should really be Team BI (sponsored by Mcrosoft?) - but BI for Britsh Islands rather then British Isles because the latter includes the full island of Ireland.

    2. iron Silver badge

      Re: Question

      The olympic marketing wonks don't understand the difference between GB and UK. Which seems appropriate for this article.

  4. Eclectic Man Silver badge

    To summarise:

    Former BT CEO, rich person Gavin Patterson now works as head of Salesforce and held a big meeting with celebrities including Sue Perkins, Jools Holland and Sir Chris Hoy to entertain 'the troops', and said, as per 'Are You being Served?': "I think you've all done very well!"

    OK, I used to work of BT so experienced Gavin's all hands presentations more than once, and they also demonstrated his penchant for having celebrities around (Claire Balding 'hosted' one event, as I recall). But I do not recall actually getting much in the way of information or, indeed motivation, out of them. But then I was just a sad old IT security specialist commodity 'shroom at the time.

  5. Pascal Monett Silver badge

    One gigantic circle jerk

    Having "suffered annual revenue growth of 20 per cent" indeed.

    Poor things.

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