back to article Radioactive hybrid terror pigs break out of nuclear hellscape home and into people's hearts

It seems that the monstrous irradiated boar-pig hybrids that we featured in an article last week have broken out of their former home in the exclusion zone around the destroyed Fukushima nuclear plant and are now running riot around the internet. Indeed, the boars in question have moved on from stealing laptops from …

  1. b0llchit Silver badge
    Joke

    I'll be waiting for the bovine version so that this nuclear story can be milked a bit more. After a while, we will be pecking on the chickenwingnuts too.

    Finally, the corn will pop from the radiated heat and the whole story will decay with a half-life of 13 days and 42 minutes. The result will be a living decay chain along farm lines until the last bacterial species have popped their shells.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      bovine terror

      You need to check out the video for Cows with guns, It even features chicks with Uzi's

      1. b0llchit Silver badge
        Coat

        Re: bovine terror

        Do they show glow-in-the-dark milk? And, what is the decay-rate of the chicks and Uzi's?

      2. HildyJ Silver badge
        Angel

        Re: bovine terror

        Check out the book: Going Bovine

        https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/9/9f/Going_Bovine.jpg

    2. Dr_N Silver badge

      Luckily no large camel population in Japan. An Attack Of The Mutant Camels would be devastating.

      1. b0llchit Silver badge
        Childcatcher

        The small population could be a sign of ninja. There could be Teenage Mutant Ninja Camels and that would be devastating indeed.

      2. Korev Silver badge
        Coat

        > An Attack Of The Mutant Camels would be devastating.

        Yeah those things are dangerous when they get the hump

      3. TRT Silver badge

        Attack Of The Mutant Camels

        Minter is coming.

        1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge
          Coffee/keyboard

          Re: Attack Of The Mutant Camels

          Icon -------------->

          (Bastard! Wish I'd thought of that LOL)

          1. TRT Silver badge

            Re: Attack Of The Mutant Camels

            Apparently it's an existing meme, but related to the herb, mint, and an associated candy, rather than having anything to do with good old Jeff and the llamas.

  2. Roger Kynaston Silver badge
    Happy

    Asterix in Japan?

    I know both Uderzo and Goscinni have joined Toutatis and Belenos now but the opportunities for Obelix must be endless.

    1. Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

      Re: Asterix in Japan?

      I have allured as much in a post in the original terror pig article.

      Obelix versus radioactive terror piggies... now THAT will be worth a saga to tell on a cold winter's night.

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Not sure why ....

    ... but made me think of Chadwick's "The Death Guard" (1939)

    1. TRT Silver badge

      Re: Not sure why ....

      Not Razorback (1984)?

      1. DarkwavePunk
        Pint

        Re: Not sure why ....

        Ow. Memories. Quality B Movie. Have a beer.

        1. TRT Silver badge

          Re: Not sure why ....

          Caught it at a double bill showing with Eraserhead at the Duke Of York's in Brighton back in '88... that was quite a night / early hours of the next morning walking back to Falmer from Round Hill / London Road.

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: Not sure why ....

            Ah the Duke of Yorks. I think the last time I went there it was an Arnie latenight triple bill. And Falmer: the catering was rotten as ****. ('87)

            1. TRT Silver badge

              Re: Not sure why ....

              I'm sure they put on an Arnie triple bill quite regularly, but the draw of The Guvornator was what first drew my attention and got me visiting there regularly. Also the Rocky Horror triple bills - TRHPS along with two or three of the movies mentioned in the opening song... greasy food from the box office... loved it. On the days we hadn't stuffed our bellies at The Black Chapati.

              Sounds like we were there at the same time! I was at the Uni. The Poly was "the other side of the tracks".

              The refectory at the uni I ate at very seldomly indeed, maybe only the once - it deserved its nickname of "The Rectal Refectory". The food really was shit.

              1. Anonymous Coward
                Anonymous Coward

                Re: Not sure why ....

                Went to the Poly. We used to gatecrash the East Slopes bar regularly.

  4. Gene Cash Silver badge

    "most decidedly non-Oscar-nominated"

    That's a pretty radioactive burn right there...

  5. Chris G Silver badge

    Radioactive Hybrid Terror Pigs

    In Spaaaace!

    These are the stories of a band of intrepid terror pigs, their ten year mission to go where no pig has trotted before.....

  6. MacroRodent Silver badge
    Happy

    Rovio Ltd should be interested

    Radioactive Hybrid Terror Pigs would be a worthy nemesis for the Angry Birds.

    1. Paul Crawford Silver badge

      Re: Rovio Ltd should be interested

      Or for Shaun the Sheep?

      1. Phil O'Sophical Silver badge

        Re: Rovio Ltd should be interested

        My money's on Shaun & Gromit.

  7. Andy Non Silver badge
    Coat

    Creating a movie

    could be a swine and the end result boaring.

    I'll get my coat, mine's the one with the glowing pork scratchings in the pocket.

  8. Dwarf Silver badge

    Entertainment

    I wonder if they play Half-Life in their spare time ?

    1. Korev Silver badge
      Coat

      Re: Entertainment

      They sound set the pigs Freeman

  9. Fruit and Nutcase Silver badge
    Alert

    Boarzilla vs Boriszilla

    Masks not required

  10. Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge
    Thumb Up

    The Register for the win... love articles such as these, it's an escape from the daily humdrum of live (and COVID).

  11. ThatOne Silver badge
    Mushroom

    Hot and spicy

    Watch out for the radioactive hybrid terror sausages.

    In Fukushima, sausages eat you!

    1. Phil O'Sophical Silver badge

      Re: Hot and spicy

      Watch out for the radioactive hybrid terror sausages.

      Ah, the Fukushima sizzle!

    2. TRT Silver badge

      Re: Hot and spicy

      Not a comment I want to read on an article about "der nackte deutsche herr", please!

  12. Russell Chapman Esq.
    Alert

    What a Muppet movie this would make

    The Muppets, Pigs in Space. A film about the love tussle between Miss Piggy, Kermit and Boarzilla. Just need to throw in a bit of Revenge of Billy the Kid to the mix and you would have something beyond words.

    1. Brian Miller

      Re: What a Muppet movie this would make

      And it would feature exiled zombie Napoleon, waiting on the moon to renew his conquest of the Earth!

      https://xkcd.com/1510/

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Germfree adolescent mutant radioactive pigs and other strangeness

    To mix 70s punk and 80s RPGs

  14. Blackjack Silver badge

    Now it needs an Angry Birds game version.

  15. TRT Silver badge

    I'm reminded...

    Of a bit of Black Sabbath.

  16. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I'm super Cereal!

    It's funny now, but if they start interbreeding it's only a matter of time before we end up with ManBearPig.

    Half man, half bear, half pig.

    1. ThatOne Silver badge
      Pint

      Re: I'm super Cereal!

      What about man + beer + pig?...

  17. David Woodhead
    Happy

    Radioactive hybrid terror pigs break out of nuclear hellscape home and into people's hearts

    I think that this my favourite headline of all time.

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