back to article New mystery AWS product 'Infinidash' goes viral — despite being entirely fictional

A tweeted musing that merely mentioning a new AWS product would be enough to see it appear in job ads has come true — even though the product mentioned is made up. The story starts with the following tweet from developer educator Joe Nash (the tweet has since been deleted, but is cached). Joe Nash Infinidash Tweet The tweet …

  1. Mister Dubious
    Go

    To Infinidash --

    -- And Beyond!

    1. Paul Herber Silver badge

      Re: To Infinidash --

      Good news, everybody!

      1. b0llchit Silver badge
        Joke

        Re: To Infinidash --

        Please turn off the what-if machine.

        1. BillG
          Happy

          Re: To Infinidash --

          My Interocitor runs Infinidash 1.31 beta. I use it to make hot chocolate while I play fizzbin with my coworkers.

  2. Gene Cash Silver badge

    Aww yisss

    The fun of requiring X+5 years experience in a language that's only been out X years.

    1. lglethal Silver badge
      Go

      Re: Aww yisss

      I remember back in around 2005, whilst I was busily searching for a job after uni, coming across an ad for a "Junior CFD Analyst" minimum 10 years experience with CFD required.

      I'm sorry, but if I've got 10 years experience in something, I think I'd be pretty insulted to be considered a Junior!!!

      1. John Miles
        Joke

        Re: but if I've got 10 years experience in something,

        10 years expereince - that's less than half of Asok's intern experience, so another couple of decades and you'll be junior ;)

    2. Xalran

      Re: Aww yisss

      I remember a few job adds in the late 90s & before the Internet Bubble burst where basically you had do have managed to get a PhD at 18, gotten a job straight away in the right domain so that you had the required 10+ years of experience while still being young enough.

      1. Version 1.0 Silver badge

        Re: Aww yisss

        And ads in the early 70's requiring 10 years of Pascal coding experience.

    3. Dave314159ggggdffsdds Silver badge

      Re: Aww yisss

      It's always amusing, but usually just a mangled request from the people with the vacancy. Like when they ask for '10+ years experience supporting Windows 10', but really mean '10+ years experience supporting Windows, including W10'.

      I always view job specs more as RFCs than definitions.

      1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

        Re: Aww yisss

        I suppose you just have to hope that the recruiters screw up doesn't end up as part of the automated CV/Resume filter.

        1. A.P. Veening Silver badge

          Re: Aww yisss

          I suppose you just have to hope that the recruiters screw up doesn't end up as part of the automated CV/Resume filter.

          If you just hope that, you are already screwed. The very best you can hope for, is that after a while an adult will note the lack of results and review the filter and the results.

    4. goldcd

      Entirely sensible

      Enables you to select for the more modest time-machine inventors - I mean can you imagine having to work next to the guy who invented the time machine, and likes to drop that into every conversation?

  3. Winkypop Silver badge
    Linux

    So lame

    Everyone knows Infinidash 2.0 is where it’s at!

    1. Anonymous Coward Silver badge
      Linux

      Re: So lame

      But it'll be built-in with the next version of systemd anyway.

    2. Korev Silver badge
      Childcatcher

      Re: So lame

      Any fule kno that you never run anything lower than version 3

      1. lglethal Silver badge
        Trollface

        Re: So lame

        Really? In CAD software the rule is never run any odd numbered release. In the odd numbered releases they add all the new features. And in the even numbered releases they fix all the errors introduced by adding the new features...

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: So lame

          That sounds exactly like Windows NT!

          1. marcellothearcane
            Boffin

            Re: So lame

            With Windows 10 they did it with even-numbered releases too

            1. A.P. Veening Silver badge

              Re: So lame

              With Windows 10 they did it with even-numbered releases too

              But that is because they skipped Windows 9.

              OTOH, Windows 8 was also a version to avoid for that very reason.

    3. archie99

      Re: So lame

      I've head that they are not going to use 2.0 as they don't want to damage 1.0/1.1 sales, so the new product will be called Omega.

  4. swm
    Thumb Up

    I love it!

    See title.

  5. I am David Jones Silver badge
    FAIL

    Forget job offers, I’d be interested to know how many CVs claim proficiency in Infinidash!

    1. Stumpy
      Thumb Up

      You can bet I'll be adding it to mine :-)

      1. adam 40 Silver badge

        Deffo going on mine.

        And with 3 years 'experience' I'll be ahead of the game!

    2. imanidiot Silver badge

      Seems like a good way to weed out the "I have no clue what skills you actually need" interviewers. Anybody who seriously asks about it doesn't have a clue what the job you'll be doing actually entails.

      1. A.P. Veening Silver badge

        Seems like a good way to weed out the "I have no clue what skills you actually need" interviewers. Anybody who seriously asks about it doesn't have a clue what the job you'll be doing actually entails.

        True, but that fact won't even get you to the interview.

    3. Ken G Silver badge
      Trollface

      Mine, as of 2 minute ago. I'm waiting for the first phonecall.

    4. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

      "I’d be interested to know how many CVs claim proficiency in Infinidash!"

      I have limited experience in Finidash. Does that count?

  6. Little Mouse

    This is not a surprise

    The AWS courses I took recently were so cheesy that I could probably sit through hours of made-up content explaining the virtues of Amazon Octopus, Amazon Cat-Flap, Amazon Goolies, etc, and not tell the difference.

    1. Neil Barnes Silver badge

      Amazon Cat-Flap

      I know of at least one connected cat flap which is both sold through Amazon and uses AWS services...

  7. GreenJimll

    Unrealistic job requirements aren't new

    Many years ago, when the Web was young (and so was I), I had a headhunter cold call me on the phone about a position at the AA. Probably as a result of me gabbing on www-talk mailing list. One thing he said the company wanted was "4 years experience with Netscape".

    When I told him that might be tricky, because Netscape had only existed as a company for about 9 months at that point and before that all the cool kids had been using NCSA Mosaic, there was a silent pause on the line for a few seconds and then he said, "well that's just the sort of detailed knowledge of the field that they want - you sound perfect!". 10/10 for brass balls and a quick come back.

    1. Peter Gathercole Silver badge

      Re: Unrealistic job requirements aren't new

      During the job crash post 911 in 2001/2002, I actually struck up quite a friendship with one of the more diligent recruitment consultants I was using. There was a an ulterior motive for him, because when he came across my CV, he noticed a broad set of experience that on subsequent calls, realized was a little understated rather than overstated.

      But what he did was if he got an lead, with terminology he didn't recognize, he quite often called me to ask what it was all about (things were more simple back then, but the rate of new technologies had just started to ramp up). It quite often allowed me access to the job info before he posted it, but unfortunately, although I followed the tech of the time, it was not always something I knew about in detail, and I wasn't prepared to blag about things that I didn't know.

      But at the time, for every opening he posted on Jobserv, he was getting about 200 direct inquiries. He did not even do searches of the CVs they had on record, and most of the time, he randomly just dumped a number of the inquiries with only the most cursory of skim reads.

      It did not actually get me into a new contract (at least not this time around, but it would later) but it was interesting hearing from the other side of the fence.

      Eventually, I was asked back by one of my previous clients who needed skills that they knew I had.

  8. RyokuMas
    Coat

    I remember...

    ... I was out of work for 2005 (too much niche tech straight out of uni, dammit!), and as the months passed I became increasingly desperate as I scoured the then-nascent job boards trying to find new employment. The number of ads I was that were looking for 3-5 years commercial .NET experience was unbelievable.

    Okay, so at that point in time it was possible to have that kind of experience, but given the sheer volume of ads that cited this I'm pretty sure it was all buzzword-stuffing.

    On another note, I recall another place I worked for, some eight years later (older, wiser and more burned) - they were one of about half-a-dozen London-based firms who seemed to have this great bleeding-edge tech pissing contest going on... which probably explains why when I left, they were scratching their heads trying to figure out just how to deal with the fact that a band new chunk of their website that had just gone online and was written in Angular v1 was now stuck with no upgrade path.

    I can see them falling hook, line, sinker, waders and copy of the Angling Times for something like this.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: I remember...

      given the sheer volume of ads that cited this I'm pretty sure it was all buzzword-stuffing

      It works both ways. I was in charge of selecting paid interns in a university around 2000 and I recall getting some CVs with "I can program in HTML 3 and HTML 4" on it.

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    One upshot of the era of non-technical management is that the PHB will likely sign off 2 weeks paid leave to complete 10x Infinidash certification at the university of Wakanda. Bring on the annual summer viral marketing campaigns. 2022 is a 3-week retreat in New Zealand for plexinetes multiband containerbangs. The wider scientific community managed to pull it off decades ago - they call them "conferences"! ;)

  10. andy 103
    WTF?

    Reading between the lines of recruitment bullshit

    You see this on LinkedIn all the time.

    Adverts that say things like "we're looking for a frontend PHP developer...". Oh, so a backend developer that also has knowledge of frontend technologies? Or a frontend developer who knows a bit of PHP?

    The reality is usually that the company asking for the candidate wants somebody who can do "any work" they have, and/or doesn't really know what they need. The recruiter - generally - has no idea of the difference between backend and frontend tools, and doesn't care, as long as they get their commission. Somebody has already alluded to this when you get people asking for 5 years experience in something that hasn't even existed for half that time. Amongst many other giveaways such as a real lack of understanding of where the technologies fit into a particular stack or toolchain.

    Exactly the same principle comes when you get a new or "cool" technology. Not so long ago it was Kubernetes and Docker. So many adverts asking for people with experience of it. What were these companies doing before they had it, and why did they suddenly _all_ need it simultaneously? Oh yes, because it's a bandwagon on which you must jump otherwise your company will fade into obscurity? Well if you know as little about what you're advertising for as to how to run a company, it may do just that.

    1. Jamie Jones Silver badge
      Joke

      Re: Reading between the lines of recruitment bullshit

      Haven't you heard of the browser run PHPscript?

    2. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

      Re: Reading between the lines of recruitment bullshit

      "The recruiter - generally - has no idea of the difference between backend and frontend tools, and doesn't care, as long as they get their commission."

      It's said that a good salesman can sell anything. Well, yes and no. A "good" salesman will thoroughly research the product before becoming a great salesman. And then do it again for the next product. Recruiters are the same. A "good" recruiter will at least know what the skills are for and will keep up to date on new skills requirements. But, like most salesman, most recruiters are just commission oriented sloggers who think a flash car, red braces, a shiny buttoned blazer and the gift of the gab are all you need to make it big.

    3. Graham Dawson Silver badge

      Re: Reading between the lines of recruitment bullshit

      That's how you know they're not up to speed. The catch-all lingo now is full stack developer. Or at least it was last time I checked, two days ago. It's probably changed again since.

      1. Disgusted Of Tunbridge Wells Silver badge

        Re: Reading between the lines of recruitment bullshit

        I believe "front end php developer" means "I can do a bit of PHP, but you wouldn't want to set me loose on anything complicated. I will work for free office coffee.".

        Whereas "backend php developer" means "I can do complicated stuff, but I've got the visual sense of Stevie Wonder" and the eye for style of Steptoe. I insist on being paid in money. "

  11. elsergiovolador Silver badge

    AWS Infinitent

    Why did they not come up with AWS Infinitent - a platform for workers to sleep and keep them warm with Huel on tap, so they don't have to go to local shops and "paint a picture" how Amazon treat workers?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: AWS Infinitent

      You misspelled "Huel" - having tasted it I am convinced the "e" was originally an "r". Ugh.

      1. Microchip

        Re: AWS Infinitent

        Heh, it's alright is Huel. Not winning any awards for being exciting, but some flavours are better than others, and it saved me from Greggs and Subway at lunch. With the exception of the coffee one, which I thought was impressively vile.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: AWS Infinitent

          I'm working my way through their products in the hope of finding something I feel I can stick with for a couple of weeks to see if it does indeed combine saving me time with addressing a Covid weight problem (in addition to long daily walks).

          I am quite willing to invest money into this, but so far I'm yet to be impressed. This is partly due to their use of "natural" sugar replacements which must have been specifically engineered to taste as vile as the chemical crap they replace, and which are used in quantities that make you suspect they're hiding something.

          Ugh. A shame, really, the idea is OK.

      2. Ken G Silver badge
        Childcatcher

        Re: AWS Infinitent

        No, it's the open source version of Google's Gruel for Peasants(TM)

        1. marcellothearcane

          Gruel

          Sorry, that was deprecated yesterday. Now there's nothing.

  12. Brewster's Angle Grinder Silver badge

    As I said the other day. I'm expecting to see jobs ads requiring multiple years of experience with Window 11 any time now.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      I've 30 years experience with Windows 9, does that count?

  13. Disgusted Of Tunbridge Wells Silver badge

    I have to say I was slightly taken aback when I pressed play on that video.

  14. Rich 2 Silver badge

    Brilliant

    The video by Sy Brand is particularly excellent - that is some top notch bollox. Fantastic :-)

  15. Howard Sway Silver badge

    Enjoy the mirth you little scamps

    Nobody will be laughing when AWS exploit the attention by actually releasing something with this name.

    Especially those who will be made to use it.

    Happy Monday!

  16. Pascal Monett Silver badge
    FAIL

    Here at Signal

    We don't know what the fuck we're doing, but we have our finger on the pulse of the market and we're ready to spew bullshit bingo at a moment's notice.

    Exactly the kind of thing that would make me avoid a company at all costs.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Here at Signal

      I think it's more likely that they had picked up on the joke and were responding in kind, tongues very firmly in cheek!

    2. Wyrdness

      Re: Here at Signal

      My assumption what it was either tongue-in-cheek or a clever way to spot candidates who are lying about heir experience. Or maybe a bit of both.

      1. Huw L-D

        Re: Here at Signal

        Heir experience?

        My name is Harry and due to a minor change in circumstances, I find myself devoid of my HRH. I am looking for a new challenge and see AWS Infinidash as a perfect platform...

  17. Scott Broukell

    Huh, that's nothing, I can comprehensively demonstrate both complete competence and the complete lack of any meaningful ability with AWS Quantum!

    1. keithpeter Silver badge
      Pint

      https://www.schrodinger.com/platform

      https://yum-info.contradodigital.com/view-package/epel/schroedinger/

      A superposition of libraries to consider.

  18. amanfromMars 1 Silver badge

    Practical Fact or Virtual Fiction? ...... is there any great difference between the two ...

    ..... or are they fundamentally the same?

    What do you imagine your present and your future to be ? Have you not realised yet that such as party political manifestos and national and international security programs are simply promises of future goals currently impossible to reach and keep ..... and with the arrival of every tomorrow there will be ever more

    currently impossible to reach and keep future goals to replace them and be destined to be recorded in the annals of history as a virtual fiction in yet another broken unattained and unattainable promise fed to the gullible and seriously undereducated and misguided/maladministered.

    Is that the way you exercise and presume to Command and Control the Future for Main Streaming Media Machine Presentation? Do you not see the massive flaw in that which effectively invites outside intervention and surreal stealthy otherworldly exploitation?

  19. Anonymous Coward
    Go

    When?

    When will the infinidash tweet be offered as an NFT so I can launder some of these infinicoins burning a virtual hole in my virtual wallet.

    Thanks, ElReg, for keeping us hamsters in the loop.

  20. AlanSh

    Been there - done that, Got the tee shirt.

    I can confirm that I have 12 years experience in InfiniDash - going from 2025 when I first started using it to 2037 when I had to stop due to my time constant restarting again (Damn Unix again).

    1. Ken G Silver badge
      Trollface

      Re: Been there - done that, Got the tee shirt.

      I have longer, my log records begin on 1st Jan 1970.

  21. Glen 1

    Looks like the Turbo Encabulator has gone all cloudy!

    1. Graham Dawson Silver badge

      I'm not so sure about that. Is magneto-reluctance really a useful technology in an age of multi-spin datagrammetrometry?

  22. Mine's a Large One

    I suppose M$ will rush a competitor to market... the TV ads will be appearing soon spouting about "Infinibork 365 is the only imaginary product that works like my team..."

  23. Kurt 5

    Project Jabberwocky

    Remember Project Jabberwocky from the tv series Better Off Ted?

    https://betteroffted.fandom.com/wiki/Jabberwocky

  24. Snowy Silver badge
    Joke

    Does Dinner Dash count?

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Diner_Dash

  25. John Savard

    Puzzled

    :I was trying to figure out how you could combine AMD's Infinity Cache with the Doordash delivery service, but now that I see the product is fictional, I've stopped worrying.

    So there you are: Infinidash is an Amazon service that delivers to your door, with enhanced reliability and availability because they've abandoned Just-in-Time practices, and have real warehouses again!

  26. Paul Herber Silver badge

    The story is actually true, but the title of the product has been misspelled to bamboozle us, it's actually:

    Infinidosh

    Amazon plan to own all the world's money. If you want some then you'll have to rent it from them.

    1. Tom 38

      I use InfiniDosh as Dosh-as-a-Service. With DaaS, I can scale my dosh limitlessly to meet my demands, and only pay for the dosh that I use. Granted, this costs $5 for every dollar I actually use, but its all OpEx and no CapEx!

  27. ecofeco Silver badge

    Masterful!

    Top shelf pranking!

  28. Persona

    Value for money

    On the plus side customers pay less for Infinidash than other AWS products. It's also one of those rare products where you get everything you pay for.

  29. Blackjack Silver badge

    If you do double time it counts as double the years, right?

    You can have twelve year experience by only doing six years if you do double shift because in practice you did work the same amount of time that someone doing twelve years but put half the time, right?

    That sounds like something the BOFH would say...

  30. I am 4til7

    Don't get too real with that product

    That product is actually generating real economic activity. All those stories (and add revenue!) plus someone went out and registered most variants of infinidash.*

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