back to article Space Force turtle expert uncovers $1.2m Cape Canaveral cocaine haul

A member of the newly inaugurated US Space Force discovered more than she bargained for as she conducted a survey of turtle nests on the coast around Cape Canaveral last month. Angy Chambers, a civil engineer and wildlife manager with the 45th Civil Engineer Squadron, was forced to suspend her check on testudinal housing …

  1. HildyJ Silver badge
    Angel

    Turtle Expert

    It makes sense Space Force would have a turtle expert.

    Somebody had to keep an eye on the Great A'Tuin.

    1. MiguelC Silver badge
      Holmes

      Re: Turtle Expert

      Of course they need the expert, they know it's "turtles all the way down"

      (lacking a "captain Obvious" icon)

    2. JimboSmith Silver badge

      Re: Turtle Expert

      Have an upvote for the Sir Pterry reference.

      1. HildyJ Silver badge
        Alert

        Re: Turtle Expert

        Please, everyone, stop up voting my original post.

        We're at 42 which makes it, additionally, an H2G2 reference.

    3. Michael Wojcik Silver badge

      Re: Turtle Expert

      I'd be happy to discover Space Force was nothing but turtle experts.

  2. DarkwavePunk
    Pint

    My life is crushed in only a few words.

    "Space Force turtle expert"

    Why?! Why is this not me? I have wasted my entire life.

    Need some --->

  3. Tom Paine

    "shouty nose sherbet" - v gd!

    "Turtley unaffected" - well over the line; I shall be writing to my MP about this outrage!

    1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

      Just a few miles up the road from me, 4 or 5 at most, turltey is *exactly how they pronounce totally. Now, if you are unfamiliar that branch of the Geordie dialect and are visiting the area, if you are being offered "turd in the hurl", just try to remember it's actually a quite nice sausage and Yorkshire Pudding comb and not a method of flinging shit around.

  4. The Oncoming Scorn Silver badge
    Pint

    What Is It Me With Names Today

    Initially I read her name as Angry, then thanks to Verity's article earlier Agony Chamber.

  5. NoneSuch Silver badge
    Thumb Up

    In Other News

    The Space Force Christmas party will be amazing....

    1. A.P. Veening Silver badge

      Re: In Other News

      The Space Force Christmas party will be amazing....

      Let it snow, let it snow ...

    2. ghp

      Re: In Other News

      30kg currently in the hands (?) of DHS, there'll be none left for SFS come Christmas. They'll have to dream of a white one.

      1. Anonymous Coward Silver badge
        Pirate

        Re: In Other News

        Yes, 30KG was handed over the DHS, but how much did they really find?

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: In Other News

      it should be out of this world.....

  6. Blackjack Silver badge

    Don't worry, the ones most likely to have tried to eat the drugs are seagulls.

    1. Sean o' bhaile na gleann

      ... thus leaving no tern unstoned

      (can't remember who originally came up with that one)

      1. MutantAlgorithm

        Think it might have been Simon Drew

        https://www.simondrew.co.uk/index.html

  7. Intractable Potsherd Silver badge
    Headmaster

    Every day is school day!

    "Testudinal" - a word I didn't know until now! This is one of the reasons I read El Reg.

  8. Flocke Kroes Silver badge

    Naughty 45th Civil Engineer Squadron

    I doubt the packages were intentionally thrown overboard (jetsam) so they must be flotsam. The discoverer cannot simply do whatever she wants with flotsam. If someone can demonstrate they are the original owner then they retain ownership. The 45th Civil Engineer Squadron should have given the original own the opportunity to claim the packages and supply proof of ownership such as a receipt.

    1. Zarno Silver badge
      Facepalm

      Re: Naughty 45th Civil Engineer Squadron

      You jest, but there have been cases where buyers have reported lost/not delivered/counterfeit/adulterated product to the plod.

      And there were also cases where the plod has advertised "Surrender anything illegal, no repercussions, amnesty and all that, one day only!", and I can't help but wonder what happens when someone comes early/late to drop off.

      1. swm Silver badge

        Re: Naughty 45th Civil Engineer Squadron

        At Dartmouth many students were making master keys to the college. So, at the beginning of one term they said, "all master keys can be turned in to the campus police - no questions asked. After the first month, if you were found in possession of a master key you would be separated from the college."

        A visit to the campus police revealed a wast basket full of (shoddy) master keys. (Don't ask how I would know shoddy from good.) If you asked about the return policy they just pointed to the waste basket. No questions were asked.

  9. Sceptic Tank Bronze badge
    Paris Hilton

    So happy together

    Why is the Space Force investigating rock bands from the 1960's?

    1. Ivan Headache

      Re: So happy together

      It washed up on the Flo and Ebbie

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