back to article Intrepid Change.org user launches petition to make Jeff Bezos' space trip one-way

A campaign has been started on the Change.org petition website to prevent Amazon founder Jeff Bezos from returning to Earth after his upcoming jaunt into space on 20 July. Bezos is scheduled to be launched 100km up for a brief, suborbital trip on the first manned flight by his New Shepard rocket, operated by the Blue Origin …

  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Never work

    If this petition were to actually work, it wouldn't be an hour before some wisecracker started a similar petition to do the same with our politicians.

    1. Mark 85 Silver badge

      Re: Never work

      I don't see a problem with that at all.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Never work

        Just another data point highlighting how utterly stupid change.org "petitions" really are. Just a distraction for the feeble minded slacktavists.

      2. teknopaul Silver badge

        Re: Never work

        Space tourism should be internationally illegal due to its scandalous carbon footprint. Unless they don't come back.

    2. jake Silver badge

      Re: Never work

      Where do I sign?

    3. Horst U Rodeinon

      Re: Never work

      Why wait?

    4. katrinab Silver badge
      Happy

      Re: Never work

      Excellent idea. Where do I sign?

    5. MyffyW Silver badge

      Re: Never work

      Of course the chief problem is the rocket-dong doesn't have enough power to keep Bezos up in space, it can barely make it above 100Km before drooping like a, well I've probably said too much ....

      1. macjules Silver badge

        Re: Never work

        It has a secret ingredient to keep it going .. Liquid Viagra.

      2. Kane Silver badge
        Trollface

        Re: Never work

        "rocket-dong"

        Hurhur...

        (_)_):::::::::::::::D~

      3. imanidiot Silver badge

        Re: Never work

        But it does actually GET to (and above) 100km. Unlike that other rich boy's plaything (Virgin "not so" Galactic) that barely scrapes 80 yet pretends to be one of the big boys.

    6. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Never work

      can we, like, not amend the original petition to send a bus instead? No, WAIT, make it ALL THE BUSES (to make sure!).

      And, in the meanwhile, the show goes on. And on. And...

    7. Precordial thump

      Re: Never work

      "Once the rockets are up, who cares where they come down?

      That's not my department," says Wernher von Braun.

      Tom Lehrer - he knew even more than he let on!

    8. Loyal Commenter Silver badge

      Re: Never work

      We should start work on the launch site right away!

    9. Law

      Re: Never work

      Yes please.

      They spout so much hot-air, maybe we could use them to aid the rocket somehow.

      1. Pirate Dave Silver badge
        Pirate

        Re: Never work

        You mean, like a ballocket? Or have I got the name wrong? It's been a few years...

        Ad Astra, Tabernamque

  2. Andy the ex-Brit

    Maybe Kim Jong Un would like the last open seat.

    1. Steve Davies 3 Silver badge

      re: the last open seat

      I'd just gift it to Donald 'I won, I won' Trump.

      Then 90% of the world would cheer.

      But somehow, I feel that he'd find a way to return. Grifters are like that.

      1. imanidiot Silver badge
        Paris Hilton

        Re: re: the last open seat

        He's been gone for over 6 months now. Time to let it go.

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Remember, don't be mean

    It just isn't nice'

    1. Fungus Bob
      Coat

      Re: Remember, don't be mean

      Right, be average...

    2. doublelayer Silver badge

      Re: Remember, don't be mean

      When I read the headline, I thought this would be a poor-spirited attempt at a joke. Having read the text of the petition, I'm not so sure anymore. Sure, it's the kind of thing a fifteen-year-old trying to be funny without watching what actually funny people do might write, but unfortunately there are people who say the same sort of thing in absolute seriousness.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Remember, don't be mean

        "...there are people who say the same sort of thing in absolute seriousness."

        Like everyone, for example. Including Douglas Adams, whose B Ark captures quite accurately our collective fantasy of being rid of the useless, the insipid, the burdensome, and the obnoxious. There's nothing wrong with feeling hatred for someone who's earned it, nor with openly insulting them or wishing them ill. The line is crossed when one actively and purposefully causes physical harm. This doesn't even approach that standard.

        1. doublelayer Silver badge

          Re: Remember, don't be mean

          It's not the joking about harm I'm talking about. Read the text of the petition. There's not much of it, and it doesn't really talk about his failings or even the results. It's a mash of conspiracy theories only.

          1. fredblogggs

            Re: Remember, don't be mean

            I agree that it's poorly written and disappointing. Lex Luthor is a fictional character. The Knights Templar and Free Masons are a gag that's been running for centuries. Epstein, well, I don't know what happened there but it stinks to high heaven, at best; the conspiracy theorists are very probably right on that one.

            As for "flat earth deniers", we've already had one story about a guy (Mike Hughes) who built his own spaceship for the purpose of proving the planet is flat. It didn't go well, and not because some conspiracy brought him down.

            None of these things have any obvious connection with Mr Bezos. I assume it's just a weak 2-minute effort at humour. *shrug*

            1. MyffyW Silver badge

              Re: Remember, don't be mean

              isn't a "flat earth denier" someone who denies the earth is flat? In other words, entirely in line with mainstream science?

              1. RockBurner

                Re: Remember, don't be mean

                My thoughts (and confusion) too.

              2. doublelayer Silver badge

                Re: Remember, don't be mean

                Yes. The person either believes in a flat earth or is pretending to. Just as they either believe in dangerous 5G chips or pretend to. Hence my wondering whether this is a joke or whether the person is actually that crazy.

                1. Loyal Commenter Silver badge

                  Re: Remember, don't be mean

                  Either someone failing in an attempt at irony, or a "whackjob" then.

              3. Anonymous Coward
                Anonymous Coward

                Re: Remember, don't be mean

                It's nothing to do with science, mainstream or otherwise. The essential attribute of scientific assertions is that they are empirically falsifiable. Some scientific assertions can be affirmatively proved, but most cannot and there is no requirement that they be so. The most general and therefore most useful theories cannot be affirmatively proven because doing so would require exhaustive observation (which may itself be impossible) over infinite or impractically large domains. A single counterexample is however sufficient to disprove at least some part(s) of the theory, requiring its reformulation or replacement.

                That Earth is an approximately spherical more or less solid body rather than a 2-D surface in flat space is not a matter of science. It is not a hypothesis or even a theory; it's an affirmatively proved fact that has been known with certainty for millennia and backed in the last century by continuous and exhaustive direct observation. There is no "non-mainstream" alternative hypothesis waiting to be disproved, only a small number of people who choose not to believe something that is known with absolute certainty to be true. It is also not a general theory but a specific instance of a fact. A corresponding scientific theory, one that is easily disproved (and in fact is false) would be that all solid objects in space are approximately spherical. A more interesting theory would be that all solid objects greater than a certain mass are approximately spherical: this is probably true, and it depends on the physical nature of the materials comprising the object.

                It's important to distinguish affirmatively proven instances of facts, scientific assertions such as those made in hypotheses and theories ("mainstream" or otherwise), and assertions made by pseudoscience. Flat-earth is pseudoscience; it makes the non-disprovable assertion that the planet is flat in a way that is by construction impossible to detect. Any attempt to detect the flatness invariably fails not because Earth is not in fact flat but because of some conspiracy to thwart it, instrument failure, etc. This is essentially religion, not science; some people prefer the term "junk science" to pseudoscience. The Amazing Randi wrote at length about pseudoscience and the critical distinction from actual science. Importantly, "mainstream" is a value judgment; most successful hypotheses begin life outside the mainstream and enter it as meaningful attempts to disprove them add to the accumulated evidence in their favour. At some point they become mainstream theories if they're sufficiently successful, but whether or not an assertion is "mainstream" has nothing to do with whether it is scientific. Falsifiable but unfalsified hypotheses are not pseudoscience merely because they are unpopular or unfashionable.

                I'm pretty sure that most "flat-Earthers" don't actually believe Earth is flat, they just get a charge out of infuriating others by pretending to insist upon it. There are probably a few unfortunate exceptions. But one doesn't have to subscribe to mainstream science to know the shape of the planet.

                1. jake Silver badge

                  Re: Remember, don't be mean

                  "I'm pretty sure that most "flat-Earthers" don't actually believe Earth is flat, they just get a charge out of infuriating others by pretending to insist upon it. "

                  Well, yes. The few vocal flat-earthers I know are also vocal disciples of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

                  Of course it's canon! FSM ≈ Flat Surface Model, as any fule no.

            2. Cuddles Silver badge
              Alien

              Re: Remember, don't be mean

              "As for "flat earth deniers", we've already had one story about a guy (Mike Hughes) who built his own spaceship for the purpose of proving the planet is flat. It didn't go well, and not because some conspiracy brought him down."

              That's what they want you to think.

    3. jake Silver badge

      Re: Remember, don't be mean

      Well, yes. That's kind of the point, innit.

  4. JDPower666

    Only problem with that is his ship isn't powerful enough to actually achieve a one way trip

    1. Throatwarbler Mangrove Silver badge
      FAIL

      Any one-way trip would be far enough.

      1. JDPower666

        Yeah but a one way trip back to Earth kinda defeats the object surely. Unless he can come down on some remote uninhabited island somewhere.

        I can just see it now - "Alexa, find me some food. Alexa, build me a raft. Goddammit Alexa, answer me!"

  5. Denarius Silver badge

    poor phrasing ?

    Flat earth denier: I thought that was the default these days. Is Spherical Earth denier meant ? Yeah, I know, I know, oblate spheroid, but close enough for arguments sake.

    1. doublelayer Silver badge

      Re: poor phrasing ?

      If you believe in a flat planet, then those who disagree with you are denying your flat earth belief. The petitioner either believes in that or is pretending to, so calls people deniers when they believe in the facts. It seems to be correct phrasing of a crazy idea to me.

    2. KittenHuffer Silver badge
      Boffin

      Re: poor phrasing ?

      I am a oblate spheroid (semi-)denier!

      If you take the Earth and shrink it down to the size of a regulation pool ball then for 'roundness' it would be within the manufacturing limits of a regulation pool ball. Though not smoothness.

      https://ourplnt.com/earth-smooth-billiard-ball/

      So you could use the Earth in a game of planetary pool!

      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/White_Hole_(Red_Dwarf)

      .

      Let me put it another way....

      When you get in your car and drive do you account for the fact that travelling at a different velocity and/or changing altitude (driving up a hill) will alter the rate at which time passes for you?

      So why do people get all 'oblate spheroid' when someone says that the Earth is round (when they actually mean sphere), yet don't start waffling about relativity and time dilation when everyone agrees on what time it is?

      1. Ken Moorhouse Silver badge

        Re: How did we get onto the subject of pool/snooker?

        Can I join in?

        Baize...Bezos.

        1. Kane Silver badge
          Pint

          Re: How did we get onto the subject of pool/snooker?

          "Baize...Bezos"

          I see what you did there.

          1. Loyal Commenter Silver badge

            Re: How did we get onto the subject of pool/snooker?

            Nicely cued up, but it failed to break the mould. Maybe cushion yourself, and give it a rest, rather than tryig for the double...

            etc. etc. and so forth...

      2. andy gibson

        Re: poor phrasing ?

        Playing pool with planets? You'd need to be pished to do that

      3. fredblogggs

        Re: poor phrasing ?

        "When you get in your car and drive do you account for the fact that travelling at a different velocity and/or changing altitude (driving up a hill) will alter the rate at which time passes for you?"

        I don't personally, no, because I don't need to: in my own frame of reference, time continues to pass at the usual rate. If I have radio devices that need to communicate with things in other frames of reference, like satellites, then yes they do take that into account. They have to. Usually, time dilation and Doppler effect associated with normal driving speeds and surface elevation changes aren't large enough to materially affect the timing of today's electronics; they fall within the established margins. Things that move much faster or in gravitational fields or greater variation do take it into consideration.

  6. el_oscuro

    The other evil overlord

    Is actually from a small planet in the vicinity of Betelgeuse. His spaceship crashed on Mars, and he was able to use his rescue pod to hop over the next planet where the strange ape-like beings still though digital watches were a neat idea.

    Still they had successfully landed on their moon. How much harder would going to the next planet be? All he had to do is hitch a ride on one of those rockets with a few extra spare parts. But decades after they landed on the moon, they had gone exactly nowhere.

    So he developed a payment system for the local version of the sub-ethanet, and used the profits to build his own rocket to get him to Mars, known locally was the BFR.

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Let's try again. Flat earth denier.

    If Bezos is indeed a flat earth denier then seeing (and orbiting) a round thing will just enforce that denial, not make it "difficult to maintain the position" like the article states. Just saying.

    (I know. Negatives of negatives and all that. Or maybe the author of the article just didn't get the joke.)

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Let's try again. Flat earth denier.

      ... on second thought, it is of course possible that the author of the article is jesting on a level more advanced than I was able to appreciate and indeed assumes that a flat earth denier will be converted when he sees the flatness from space and makes a futile attempt at orbiting it.

  8. GraXXoR

    I think Douglas Adams might have been on to something...

    ... when he came up with the genius Golgafrinchans' solution.

    1. Allan George Dyer Silver badge
      Coffee/keyboard

      Re: I think Douglas Adams might have been on to something...

      Especially those telephone sanitisers... no, wait.

  9. Ken Moorhouse Silver badge

    ...entirely controlled by onboard computers

    I expect Bezos is checking whether Jose Ortiz has anything to do with the design of the above.

  10. Big_Boomer Silver badge

    Waste of oxygen

    No, I'm not referring to Bezos but to this conspiracy theory Neanderthal who wants him dead and thinks a petition is the way to do it. Sounds like all the other conspiracy morons who blame their own inadequacies and failures on some conspiracy, rather than admitting that they are too stupid/lazy to succeed.

    1. Disgusted Of Tunbridge Wells Silver badge
      Paris Hilton

      Re: Waste of oxygen

      It's a joke, not a dick. Don't take it so hard.

      1. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

        Re: Waste of oxygen

        >rather than admitting that they are too stupid/lazy to succeed.

        That's the trouble with the poor, too lazy to get off their arses and get a $50Bn bailout for their "space" project

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    It’s a bit harsh, this one way trip thing

    But I agree with the sentiment

  12. Roger Kynaston Silver badge
    Holmes

    Isn't this a bit like Stark

    The worlds super rich worked out that ecological armageddon was coming and blasted themselves into space to escape it.

    1. Gort99

      Re: Isn't this a bit like Stark

      Up vote for the Ben Elton reference. I'm guessing the down votes are from people who don't like Ben Elton.

  13. Potemkine! Silver badge

    Staying with the business, I would propose the last seat to be for Bernard Arnault, CEO of LVMH, the Luxury group that doesn't give a damn on human rights.

  14. MJI Silver badge

    I am most disappointed in Elon Musk

    He has a space system capable of reaching orbit.

    Then there are Bezos and Branson trying to reach edge of space.

    Why doesn't Musk just get up into orbit to shut Bezos and Branson up!

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: I am most disappointed in Elon Musk

      Bezos can pay

      Beardy can organise the drinks cart

      And the great Ponzi-boy can promise to build the vehicle

    2. sreynolds

      Re: I am most disappointed in Elon Musk

      I would like to see Elon attempt re-entry on that gutted Roadster (I presume the batteries were ripped out) https://where-is-tesla-roadster.space/live 3 he polluted the space between here and Uranus with.

      1. jake Silver badge

        Re: I am most disappointed in Elon Musk

        This is the sort of bloody nonsense up with which I shall not put.

  15. Julz Silver badge

    Surely

    This is incitement and the perp should be changed . Going around stating in a public forum, that you want somebody to be killed and that others should help you is incitement to murder and should be treated as such. Or perhaps you think that Jose Ortiz is being ironic or maybe I've od'ed on 2000AD.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Surely

      > Going around stating in a public forum, that you want somebody to be killed and that others should help you is incitement to murder and should be treated as such

      Owning shares in Boeing-Lockheed-Martin-General-Dynamics or BAe-Thales ?

      voting for killing a few more 100,000 Afghans/Iraqis to make this year's dividend targets

      1. Julz Silver badge

        Re: Surely

        Really, grow up.

  16. Wolfclaw
    Trollface

    Hopefully Bezo will take Mrs Weird and their alien offspring up with him.

    Can we not also just supply evidence to the Chinese/Russians/N.Koreans/Iranians<anybody I missed?> that he is a threat to national security and await their own ground launch rocket to intercept re-entry.

  17. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

    Re-entry

    It doesn't re-enter because it doesn't get to orbit. There is a big difference between getting 100km up and falling back and getting 100km up AND doing 10km/s horizontally.

    This rocket is doing the same as a 1945 V2, although with a payload that does more damage to the workers of London

  18. Strahd Ivarius Silver badge
    Devil

    if a billionaire goes up and comes back down to get a quick, fiery, and terrifying death on re-entry that would involve a scattering of debris, is it a case of trickle down economy?

    1. jake Silver badge

      Nah, just another dumbshit with money haulin' ash.

      Lesser rich kids wrap their Lambos & McLarens around telephone poles, it takes real wealth to flame out in the upper atmosphere.

  19. Grinning Bandicoot

    Slow News Day

    Was this left over from last April 1st or is this early for the next April 1st and was there not enough copy available to make a proper column because it is a known that the Terra is a duodecahedron under our folding of the strings but under another folding it is flat!

  20. calitexan5

    Too many possibilities

    Honestly, it's hard to pick just one person from the list that seems to keep growing the longer I consider it. Trump (any of them but preferably Sr), Putin, Kim Jung Un, Mitch McConnell, Marjorie Taylor Greene (she thinks California's fires are started by Jewish lasers up in space so let's give her a chance to see them for herself, though something tells me even by seeing there are no such things, she'd still believe it). Pretty much anyone that comes to mind are those that are corrupt, despicable heartless people that want to take society down dark paths that will cause humanity much suffering and possible extinction. But then I transcend, be the better person that I know I am and despite knowing that they should be punished for all the evil deeds they have been part of, wishing harm to another human is not right and DEFINITELY not who I am. Besides, the universe will make sure they get what's coming to them sooner or later and it'll do it in a much better fashion than I could ever come up with.

  21. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Spare seat - er??

    "Maybe John McAfee or Larry Ellison."

    That aged well...

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