There was a crooked man who bought a crooked M1 iMac, and we presume they lived together in a little crooked house

Poor old Apple. First came "Antennagate", then Butterflygate, then "Batterygate". Now, owners of the M1 iMac are complaining about slightly lopsided screens. For obvious reasons, we're calling it "Crookedgate". Taking to Reddit and the official Apple Support Community, some M1 iMac early adopters have reported receiving units …

[DJV]

"The Register asked Apple whether this is a recognised problem, how widespread it is, and what it recommends customers do in order to achieve a perfect 180˚angle."

And are you expecting any sort of answer from Apple prior to the return of the Great Prophet Zarquon?

[Eclectic Man]

iWedge

Apple will shortly be introducing the iWedge, to place under the iMac stand to make the screen level. It will be made of the best expensivium alloy, come in a complementary colour for your new iMac and cost no more than US$199.99 (plus applicable taxes and shipping costs).

(I admit to owning and using an old iMac, and therefore being a complete hypocrite and idiot nerd.)

[J. Cook]

Re: iWedge

"Apple will shortly be introducing the iWedge, to place under the iMac stand to make the screen level. It will be made of the best expensivium alloy, come in a complementary colour for your new iMac and cost no more less than US$199.99"

FTFY.

[Eclectic Man]

Re: iWedge

@ J. Cook: thanks for correcting the typo.

[Paul Hovnanian]

Re: iWedge

"Apple will shortly be introducing the iWedge"

IMO, that will only make things worse. Imagine the OCD triggered in a person that can already spot 0.1mm in 80mm when the base doesn't sit perfectly flat on a glass desktop (undoubtedly meticulously cleaned of all dust and fingerprints).

Apple needs to rebrand this as the Cubist iMac.

[John Brown (no body)]

Re: iWedge

From what I saw in the video, the difference from one end to the other was 0.4cm, not 0,4mm. That's significant.

[anothercynic]

Re: iWedge

Hypocritical you are not... It's this obsession with ultra-mega-übercool design at the expense of doing something properly that's the problem. These new iMacs are just... I dunno... excessively shaved to a thinness that doesn't make sense?

And then... messing up the level? Seriously? Quality control at Pegatron (or whoever makes them) must be lacking of late.

[Anonymous Coward]

Maybe it's the desks that crooked

They should use a good sized level and make sure the desk top is truly flat and level.

Or more seriously, maybe they just need to put a shim under the stands low side. Probably would only need one sheet of paper to fix the 0.1 mm tilt. Might even need to find a thin enough paper so it's not too much. The 0.4 mm might take a bit more, may need to fold the paper once or twice. And remember to use tape to hold it in place. Oh my, the tape might make it tip the other direction. Remember to test with the tape already applied.

[NoneSuch]

"As iFixit learned in its recent teardown, Apple has opted to mount the M1 iMac with seven Torx screws. Conceivably, this issue could be remedied by unscrewing and reattaching the stand."

Yes, but you are not allowed to work on your own gear. You have to let an official Apple repair facility do it and get a 350 Pound bill for your convenience.

[Ace2]

This is nonsense and you should stop posting it.

[doublelayer]

"This is nonsense and you should stop posting it."

Why? Because the user can do it themselves? The article says that involves ripping off the display panel. I'm sure that voids a warranty and is not the easiest thing to put back on. Because it's not problematic to take it in for repair and have someone else rip off the panel? Because, although they probably won't bill you, they are likely either to say it's not covered or give it back with some other defect caused by the invasive repair which is needed to disconnect two external parts from one another. I repaired an iMac for a friend a while ago. Back then, the method for detaching the stand was A) activate latch, B) fold stand in farther to reveal screws, C) remove screws. The choice of assembly is entirely on Apple.

Now I don't think I would really notice and care about the screen being slightly slanted, but I've also not experienced it. If you agree that it is a problem, then the complaints about what it would take to repair are valid. If you don't agree that it's a problem and that's your argument, it wasn't clear from your writing.

[redpawn]

Just

re-purpose your old apple gear as shims. Remember those old iphones and ipod touches? Oh, you threw them out? Still available on ebay, problem solved.

[I am David Jones]

I assume the article should state 1mm and 4mm because there is no way that a 0.4mm discrepancy across a monitor of that size would be noticeable.

[The Oncoming Scorn]

You've clearly never worked with energy traders.

[Ilsa Loving]

"Here's a piece of paper you can slip under one corner. Now stop wasting my time."

[W.S.Gosset]

> energy traders

[ST? LT? Or non-power, oil/gas/coal?]

Just tell them Apple sells proprietary IP, so this Mac has taken a proprietary position. Specifically, a slight tilt on a normal back-to-back, or in this case side-to-side.

If this fails, just point at one of the watch-screens and shout "Oh my god! Your virtual storage is leaking!" and hotfoot it out of there before they twig they've been tricked.

[Anonymous Coward]

In the YouTube video the monitor is out by 1mm and I imagine it is noticeable once you've noticed it although from the video I doubt I would have noticed it in the first place especially considering the distance between corners. I doubt any one would notice or could even measure a 0.1mm discrepancy.

[EricPodeOfCroydon]

Corners? On an Apple device? What corners??

[Doctor Syntax]

I suppose you could put a sheet of paper under one side of it to straighten it up. I'm sure Apple will be prepared to sell suitable paper for only a few hundred local currency units were sheet.

[snowpages]

Just put one or two of the local currency units under one side - cut out the middle man...

[W.S.Gosset]

Don't cut the middle man out of your local currency units or they become valueless!

BTW, the correct term is not "middle man". It varies but it's often either "Queen" or "President", depending on what country you're in and what denomination note you're applying the scissors to. Slightly off to one side too, not middle.

[Ken Moorhouse]

This is due to monitors being so wide these days...

...that the curvature of the earth has to be taken into consideration when mounting them.

[The Oncoming Scorn]

Re: This is due to monitors being so wide these days...

That will upset a few flat-earthers having the proof on the desktop.

[John Brown (no body)]

Re: This is due to monitors being so wide these days...

"That will upset a few flat-earthers having the proof on the desktop."

Git!!!! See icon ---------------->

[John Brown (no body)]

Re: This is due to monitors being so wide these days...

"That will upset a few flat-earthers having the proof on the desktop."

I just thought!! Since flat earthers seem to be all over, do they self identify as being members of a global movement?

[doublelayer]

Re: This is due to monitors being so wide these days...

Yes they do. In fact one of their organizations used to identify itself as "having adherents all over the globe". I'm always wondering if the flat Earth people are running a massive joke which they take far too seriously or if they actually believe it. Nobody could really be this intense about something they can disprove themselves, right? Then I see the magnetic vaccine people and I guess they can.

[IGotOut]

Can I get...

A ruler accurate to. 1mm.

Thanks

[Eclectic Man]

Re: Can I get...

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Calipers

"Vernier calipers commonly used in industry provide a precision to 0.01 mm"

[yetanotheraoc]

Re: Can I get...

You'll have a hard time measuring a gap using a caliper. Perhaps you want a feeler gauge instead.

[SW10]

Re: Can I get...

You'll have a hard time measuring an 8.04cm gap using a feeler gauge

[jake]

Re: Can I get...

It's pretty easy to precision measure fairly large gaps with a set of gauge blocks and some good feeler gauges. I don't know what I'd do without mine ... when you need 'em, you really need 'em.

_{Not that this is a place I'd feel a need for 'em, of course.}

[spireite]

Re: Can I get...

When I was in my teens, there was a girl in my class who used her feeler gauge too often for our liking

[Doctor Syntax]

Re: Can I get...

If it helps, 0.1 mm is about the size of 4 typical (e.g. hazel) pollen grains. One to add to the Reg standard units, maybe.

[Ken Moorhouse]

Re: 4 typical (e.g. hazel) pollen grains

Whatever happened to the standard engineer's measure?

The Gnat's Prick.

[W.S.Gosset]

Re: 4 typical (e.g. hazel) pollen grains

That's pronounced "Rick", pright?

[Anonymous Coward]

You're looking at it wrong

Coming soon iNeck - a neck brace to tilt your head to the approved iAngls.

[W.S.Gosset]

Re: You're looking at it wrong

All Apple fanbois KNOW they're on the side of the Angles.

[[e-mail]]

Re: You're looking at it wrong

HAhahaha!

[Pennsyjohn]

As a long time Mac Tech, I can say that if you had taken it to our shop, under warranty, it'd been fixed ASAP. Unless the swivel mount is not mounted right, you get crooked display and the thing has a tendency to not stay in the position you wan it in.

Easy fix, so long as you are VERY careful with the screen. Having cracked a few before I learned the method, it ain't a user fix.

[Ilsa Loving]

So... The M1 iMac is pretty good then?

I'm sorry but the only people who are going to notice a 0.1mm (that's one tenth of one millimetre) are people who have had eye transplants from bald eagles. I mean, take a ruler and look at how long 1 millimetre is. It's pretty darn small. I can almost accept someone noticing a half millimetre tilt, but a 0.1mm tilt? I'm sorry no. Furthermore, I'd like to see a comparison between these iMacs and other monitors out there. I'm willing to bet a weeks worth of Tim Hortons that this is completely normal across all monitors.

This smacks of "looking for any excuse at all to disparage Apple", and it's really pathetic. Apple has more than plenty of actual legitimate and consequential failings that to argue over something so idiotic accomplishes nothing but muddy the waters and take focus away from real issues (such as their hostility to self-repair).

[Paul Hovnanian]

Re: So... The M1 iMac is pretty good then?

"Furthermore, I'd like to see a comparison between these iMacs and other monitors out there."

It's been a few years since I went monitor shopping. But I can't recall finding any that were not easily adjustable in three axis (roll, pitch and yaw).

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: So... The M1 iMac is pretty good then?

My 83 year old mother(!) was going to buy an M1 iMac but didn't in the end solely because the monitor is fixed and she didn't think she would be able to angle it appropriately to use with her arthritic joints. (She eventually bought a separate monitor and an M1 MacBook Air). Why did Apple think a fixed monitor was a good idea?

[John Brown (no body)]

Re: So... The M1 iMac is pretty good then?

"It's been a few years since I went monitor shopping. But I can't recall finding any that were not easily adjustable in three axis (roll, pitch and yaw)."

It's an Apple. It only moves in the directions and by the amounts that Apple decide on, not the users.

Judging by the video, it;s a huge tablet on a stand, and like most tablets on stands, the only adjustment is tilt a small Apple approved amount back and forth. No rotation or swivel allowed.

[yetanotheraoc]

Re: So... The M1 iMac is pretty good then?

The funny thing is, I bet Apple will take this seriously. A lot of the premium Apple charges is for the perception of better, so if the perception is of worse, or even simply not as good as it could be, they will care. Even if the perception is wrong, it's not wrong. Anyway, it's a lot less painful to placate a few over-the-top perfectionists than to reverse course and allow right-to-repair for all.

[jake]

Re: So... The M1 iMac is pretty good then?

Yes, that kind of slope is visible (and annoying!) on a piece the size of a monitor, when it's two supposedly be parallel, stationary objects fairly close together. A monitor and desktop might qualify. The bottom of a monitor and the top of a keyboard very definitely will, in most cases.

Methinks Apple's physical QA and QC departments need their collectiver eyeballs eyeballed. If they even have said QA/QC departments anymore.

[Dan 55]

Why would you want one?

Buy a Mini and a normal monitor if you must have an Apple desktop machine.

All of this gubbins is just a proprietary design which will be expensive to fix and the first models will have design flaws like this. And as it's Apple they've put a premium on thinness over cooling.

[Corinth]

I'm sure a light tap with a hammer on the offending eminent corner would do the trick of levelling.

[Aussie Doc]

Optional sensible title here

I know the article says 0.1mm and 0.4mm but when the dude shows the difference using his piece of wire I think it's clear we're really talking cm not mm.

His wire shows quite a significant difference between ends.

That would be significantly annoying to me (OCD - the real deal with handwashing, multiple checks of the light switch etc etc) and given how much you pay one of these I would expect it to be pretty spot on.

In fact, here in Oz that would certainly be covered under warranty.

Just my 2c plus gst (VAT).

[Bill Gray]

Units error

No, not the problem that the 0.4-cm error cited in the video became a 0.4-mm error in the article. The more serious issue is that the difference in linguine should have been given.

Furthermore, I was wondering about the angle of rotation from the vertical (I'd notice four millimeters with a smaller screen more than I would with a wide one.) Which caused me to notice that there appears to be no El Reg standard angular unit. I expect the assembled commentardiat could come up with some ideas.

[parlei]

Re: Units error

I propose Indiana radians: 2*3 Indiana radians makes a circle.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Indiana_Pi_Bill

[Bill Gray]

Re: Units error

A good thought. As the Wikipedia article says, you can get some contradictory values of π from the "proof" in question, and the bill's author never comes out and specifies a value (his main concern was that he had "proven" that one could make a square and circle of identical area). But the diagram shows a circumference of 32 and diameter of 10 units, for π=3.2. One Indiana radian = 180/3.2 = 56.25 degrees.

Meanwhile, the Bible clearly tells us that π=3, since the font of Solomon was ten cubits across and thirty around. So we could have Biblical radians of 60 degrees. Or we could call them Alabama radians.

(Should note that I read an article once by a Biblical literalist that pointed out that the font's rim was a handspan across, and that the font was presumably thirty cubits in inner circumference and ten in outer diameter. So the rim would be 5-15/π = 0.22 cubits across... with sufficient interpretation, you can make every word in the Bible literally true, but it can take some effort.)

[jake]

Re: Units error

"with sufficient interpretation, you can make every word in the Bible literally true, but it can take some effort."

Quite a bit of effort. For example, what were the last words of Jesus? Whoever it was that wrote Matthew, Luke and John all have different answers. The author of Mark, perhaps sensibly, remained silent on the subject. (Don't take my word for it, read it for yourself. Matthew 27:46, Luke 23:46 and John 19:30).

For extra points, next time a creationist knocks on your door to try to convert you, ask them which version of creation they believe in ... the one that starts at Genesis 1:1, or the completely different version beginning at Genesis 2:4 ... They always kind of slink away when confronted with the cold harsh reality that their Bible is internally inconsistant ... and right from the git-go, no less.

[Ken Moorhouse]

Re: you can make every word in the Bible literally true

My favourite is the theory surrounding Psalm 46 where there is conjecture that Shakespeare had involvement with the King James Bible translation.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psalm_46

[EnviableOne]

Re: Units error

the problem is Mark wrote first, Luke copied him, Matthew copied him, then John copied the lot

Whole lot of whispers going on there

[jake]

Re: Units error

But ... but ... but ... I thought it was all the unerring word of God! Now you're telling me that it wuz Umans wot rote it?????? I R confuzled.

Whispers? Are you trying to say the Bible is just a transcribed game of what us supposedly racist Yanks call "Telephone", and you more enlightened Brits call "Chinese Whispers"?

_{I suppose that's not what you mean by "oral tradition" these days ...}

[W.S.Gosset]

Re: Units error

The font of Solomon is a free download, I just discovered.

[John Brown (no body)]

Re: Units error

But the Wisdom of Solomon is a subscription only service and it's costs a lot!!

[jake]

Re: Units error

And the Key of Soloman wais used to separate fools from their money!!1!

[Kevin McMurtrie]

Whiners

Try using a cheap rotating Dell monitor at work. Rotates when you press a menu button. Rotates when you try to tilt it. Wiggles, rotates, and changes height when you're typing too hard. Rotates, slides down, and falls over when somebody rests their hand on it. Abruptly changes height to thwart all attempts to level it. Guaranteed to never be level.

Crooked spawn of Satan icon ->

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: Whiners

I once had a Dell monitor with a gas or spring lift thingy in the stand arm.

Hit the spacebar too hard and - pwssshhh - up it went to max height.

"Honey, the monitor's got a hard-on again!"

[Peshman]

Buy an iSole and stop being an RSole!

Just buy an iSole and place it in your shoe on whichever side you need to make the screen level. Surely every fanboi has an electric standing desk by now?

/s

[W.S.Gosset]

Wabi sabi

Apple innovation!