back to article Sold: €15k invisible sculpture that's a must-see for art lovers

Readers of El Reg are nothing if not cultured and frequent dabblers of the avant-garde. Which is why it will come as no surprise that an artist has recently sold an "invisible" sculpture for a reported €15,000 (£13,000). Salvatore Garau - an Italian artist from the Mediterranean island of Sardinia – was a drummer for prog rock …

  1. knelmes

    Oh hey, my parents have one of those in their attic! Might pop it on ebay.

  2. DarkwavePunk

    ART!

    Think I'll just quote my father's reaction - "Not my money - good luck to him!"

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: ART!

      In fact, it may be well your (i.e. the tax payer's) money, as this reeks of the same old scheme to launder money. Only done with more audacity.

      (Read Heisenberg's uncertainty principle, you say? Sure.)

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I had one of those invisible sculptures as well!

    Put it down somewhere and can't find the bloody thing now.....

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Re: Art!

    My partner, many moons ago, persuaded her farther to take her to the polluted shit hole to see a Karl Andre exhibition. She was somewhat embarrassed to see him walk across said bricks to reach the other side of the gallery, unaware he traversed the artwork she had gone to view!

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Art!

      The other AC>> take her to the polluted shit hole

      Margate?

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      "to see him walk across said bricks"

      That's art too!

      1. Chris G

        Re: "to see him walk across said bricks"

        Art in action; walking across the bricks adds an active element to the installation, thereby validating their existence and giving them context.

        I can write bollocks too.

        I would just like to make clear that no self respecting brickie will get out of bed for a pie and pint.

    3. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

      Re: Art!

      I read somewhere that after the original display the bricks were either returned to whoever they'd been borrowed from ro otherwise disposed of. When it was brought back be ?popular demand a new set had to be obtained.

  5. Magani
    FAIL

    A suggestion

    The purchaser should read "The Emperor's New Clothes".

    1. vtcodger Silver badge

      Re: A suggestion

      Or Jack and the Beanstalk. AFAICS, paying €15k for an invisible sculpture doesn't differ a lot from trading the family cow for a hand full of magic beans. ... Except for being able to plant the beans of course.

  6. MarkET

    Quantum fluctuations

    Just knew that my physics course would pay off in the end / beginning / mid life crisis...

    1. m4r35n357 Silver badge

      Re: Quantum fluctuations

      Drummer -> sculptor -> philosopher/physicist?

      Still stuck at the drummer stage I think ;)

  7. Anonymous Coward Silver badge
    Paris Hilton

    "there is a density"

    So true. In this case the density appears to be that of the purchaser.

  8. TRT

    Ownership of the said artwork...

    can be proven by ownership of the Non-tangible Token.

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    auction!

    Going, going, gone! To the invisible, undisclosed bidder, for just over 150 trillion USD.

  10. Aaiieeee
    Unhappy

    So he produced nothing and advertised the hell out of it. He's a marketer..

    My problem is that I don't have the balls to be that brazen; I kind of envy him spouting so much bollocks that some silly sod buys into it.

    1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

      That seems to cover a significant portion of "modern art".

  11. Aaiieeee
    Mushroom

    From the tate page on the bricks

    "Each of Andre’s Equivalent series consists of a rectangular arrangement of 120 firebricks. Although the shape of each sculpture is different, they all have the same height, mass and volume, and are therefore ‘equivalent’ to each other. "

    I mean what the hell!?! He doesn't even attempt to recreate the work in a consistent fashion and has some story as to how him not doing anything has special cosmic significance?

    Something deep down tells me I will never be wealthy..

    1. heyrick Silver badge

      Re: From the tate page on the bricks

      "Something deep down tells me I will never be wealthy.."

      +1

      I don't think I'm psychologically capable of spouting that much bullshit with a straight face.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: From the tate page on the bricks

        You're too honest to be a salesman!

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: I don't think I'm psychologically capable of spouting that much bullshit with a straight face.

        Some people are born with it, I suppose, but majority just practice. And with each 'success', their confidence level goes up one notch on the bullshitter scale. Probably to the point that they soon start believing it themselves. But it's sad times anyway.

  12. Captain Hogwash Silver badge

    Thanks for the Stormy Six tip

    I hadn't heard of them before. They're rather good.

  13. lglethal Silver badge
    Trollface

    drummer =/ artist

    What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians? A Drummer...

    No wonder he had to change fields before he could become an artist...

    1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge
      Coat

      Re: drummer =/ artist

      Drummer: <noun> A programmable metronome.

      1. Robert Moore
        Coat

        Re: drummer =/ artist

        What do you call a drummer without a girlfriend/boyfriend?

        Homeless.

      2. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

        Re: drummer =/ artist

        >Drummer: <noun> A programmable metronome.

        What's the difference between a drummer and a drum machine ?

        You can punch a tune into a drum machine

  14. This post has been deleted by its author

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Should get a better dictionary

      Your rule of thumb is a little naive. First of all there are two very different aspects of "Art".

      Let's take a rather famous and extreme example of something that not only someone else could make, but actually had made: Marcel Duchamp's famous dadaist "Fountain" (Wikipedia), featuring a (literally) bog-standard urinal bought at a plumbing supplies store... Well, that's really not art, isn't it, anybody could buy (and had indeed bought) that specific model of urinal before and after Duchamp. So, was Duchamp just taking the piss?

      Actually Duchamp's point was exactly that: Making people think about what is actually "Art". Is Art some intangible quality an artist can magically bestow upon about anything, like in this extreme case? It's true we don't really know what "Art" is, and there are probably as many wildly different definitions as people you ask about it. So Marcel Duchamp's urinal, while not "Art" in the noble sense, was nevertheless a fundamental milestone in Art History.

      The second aspect are the "art collectors". Most of the time they don't care or understand anything about Art, except for the potential for profit: Buy some poor promising artist's works for cheap, wait till he croaks (ideally soon and dramatically), profit! Marcel Duchamp's urinal was never intended for sale (and was never sold), but put yourself in his situation, if some crazy rich guy had come and offered you tens of thousands for that stupid thing, would you say no? Artists need to eat too...

      Art is not just defined by technical perfection and brilliance of execution, it is also defined by the very special impression it makes upon the spectator, the stroke of genius, the certain something which makes you go "wow". Saying "I can make that" is rather silly, with a little training you could indeed do about anything, but did you?...

      1. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

        Re: Should get a better dictionary

        >what is actually "Art".

        Art is anything made by an artist that sells

        1. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

          Re: Should get a better dictionary

          True but it just moves the problem on. What's an artist?

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: Should get a better dictionary

            What's an artist?

            Piss or con?

          2. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

            Re: Should get a better dictionary

            > What's an artist?

            Somebody who can sell you something useless by claiming it's "art"

        2. tfewster
          Facepalm

          Re: Should get a better dictionary

          Van Gogh only sold one painting during his lifetime. The rest of Van Gogh's paintings were not sold or made famous until after his death.

          1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

            Re: Should get a better dictionary

            I thought he used them to pay his bar bills? Or was that just a Dr Who episode?

          2. EnviableOne

            Re: Should get a better dictionary

            Nah, he sold thousands, just not ones he painted, worked as an art dealer in earlier life....

      2. LybsterRoy Silver badge

        Re: Should get a better dictionary

        Sorry, I'm both old and old fashioned. Art is not taking the piss out of the punters. Art is not a room with lights going on and off. Nor is it smelting a meteorite, recasting it as itself and sending it back to space.

        I may not know just what art is but I'm positive what it is not!

      3. This post has been deleted by its author

        1. Swarthy
          Devil

          Re: Should get a better dictionary

          Counter-point: con-artist has "artist" right there in the name.

        2. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Should get a better dictionary

          (Original AC here)

          "You can create any old arse and call it art"

          Yes, and that's precisely the whole point of Duchamp's urinal: To demonstrate just that!

          "Calling a urinal art only makes the point that if you have no talent"

          OMG, you didn't read, did you...

          I'll give it a second try: Duchamp made that willingly outrageous "piece of art" (note the quotes) just and specifically to show the problem that there is no definition of "Art", and that you can declare about anything as "Art", if you are credible enough as an expert.

          His point was a philosophical one, and obviously went way over the heads of most people back then (and apparently here in this forum too. Seriously, you disappoint me, people).

          Last but not least, Duchamp did not intend to sell that urinal. His goal was totally different from the article's "emperor's new sculpture" artist, so don't mix them up. Two different people, with different goals.

          1. This post has been deleted by its author

  15. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Imagine trying to insure sell or ship the "artwork"

    Try and describe it's appearance (white cat in a snowstorm or a black cat in a coal mine with no lights)

    Approximate dimensions (somewhere between infinitely small and infinitely big)

    Approximate weight (think of a number, triple it or divide it by zero if it's a friday then decide whether you just worked out the weight in milligrams or megatons)

    On a positive note I think I am about to be very rich as I have just discovered I am the proud owner of at least 5000 artworks similar to the one just sold (it's amazing what you find under the sofa)

    1. Hull
      Angel

      You don't need to insure it

      It will outlast us all. Timeless, transcendent.

  16. This post has been deleted by its author

    1. David 132 Silver badge
      Happy

      Re: Art

      You have to be reverential and quiet when discussing it.

      It's Sh!Art.

  17. sabroni Silver badge
    Thumb Up

    It's art

    If it also happens to be a con trick that doesn't invalidate it as an artwork. In fact, isn't that part of the work?

    All works of art are objectively pointless, or at least the art bit of them is. A picture of a haywain can cover a stain on the wall but not because it's a picture of a haywain, because it's a square of canvas.

    And the disbelieving comments are a lovely extension of the work, nudging it slightly towards reality.

    Smashing!

    1. This post has been deleted by its author

  18. This post has been deleted by its author

  19. Potemkine! Silver badge

    Money for Nothing

    Are you sure this guy didn't play with Dire Straits?

  20. Anonymous Coward
    Joke

    There's nothing new here

    I've seen this done before. At least 20 years ago I was in one of the London museums - I think it was Tate Modern soon after it first opened - and I saw something very similar. There was an empty space with a knee-height rope barrier around it to stop people walking through it. I'm really struggling to remember the name of the artist but I'm pretty sure the title of the work on the information card was "Exhibit removed for cleaning".

  21. Charlie van Becelaere
    Paris Hilton

    Still waiting

    I'm still waiting for my modelling fee for this sculpture.

    At first I thought the exposure might help my career, but I'm not seeing anything yet. Probably should have posed with Paris.

  22. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

    Plagiarism

    He clearly stole the design from some homework I didn't do in school

  23. tiggity Silver badge

    Conning mugs (AKA some (not all) aspects of conceptual art) has long been part of art

    So I'm used to seeing dubious art descriptions, its the shoddy "science" in his explanation that irritates me, at least do a proper job of your BS spiel, a schoolkid could have written a more coherent description.

  24. Bumbling idiot

    World. Gone. Mad.

  25. John Brown (no body) Silver badge
    Facepalm

    In the void there is a container of positive and negative possibilities

    Surely by definition there is nothing in a void. A void needs something around it for there be a void in. In this case the "void" can't exists because void has air in it, exactly the same as is surrounding it, ergo there is no void.

    Since his "void" is a "container of positive and negative possibilities" it can't be a void because it contains something. But the "somethings" in the void are only possibilities and therefore may not exist, it could be a void. Or not.

    Is your head hurting now too?

    1. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

      Re: In the void there is a container of positive and negative possibilities

      So will the art market reward higher and higher grade vacuums with larger and larger prices?

  26. A. Coatsworth Silver badge
    Stop

    I'm certain there must an adequate and innocent way to explain this, that doesn't involve a money laundering scheme...

    But I can't think of any such explanation right now.

  27. TeeCee Gold badge
    Coat

    Just out of interest...

    ...is there any demand from art collectors for a large space stuffed full of randomartistically arranged crap?

    I'm thinking that I might be able to kill two birds with one stone; Attic clearance and a new Jag.

  28. Dr.Flay
    Facepalm

    Art fit for an Emperor

    The Emperor's new clothes never looked so splendid until draped over this fine sculpture.

    Q: How will they know if it has been stolen ?

  29. Dr.Flay
    Happy

    Invisible artwork stolen

    Reports are now coming in that 3 Mime artists used their powers of distraction to perpetrate an audacious daylight robbery.

    While amusing the crowd with invisible ropes and sheets of glass, they cunningly hid the artwork from view.

    Once hidden it was swapped it for an almost identical work they had knocked up in the shed last night.

    Police are looking for 3 men wearing black clothes and eye-masks, last seen struggling in an amusing way to carry a large invisible object from the area, and loading it onto an invisible flatbed truck.

    The public are warned not to approach them due to the risk of unsolicited miming.

    1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

      Re: Invisible artwork stolen

      And mime artists. It was a strange aversion, but there you are. Anyone in baggy trousers and a white face who tried to ply their art anywhere within Ankh's crumbling walls would very quickly find themselves in a scorpion pit, on one wall of which was painted the advice: Learn The Words.”

      ― Terry Pratchett, Guards! Guards!

  30. Whiskers

    upcoming "Fake or Fortune?"

    I look forward to the episode of this BBC4 TV series where experts discuss whether ot not the intangible artwork is genuine (which so far in the series has effectively been defined as 'made by the/a person whose other works have fetched silly high prices', rather than the far more reasonable 'is it any good as art?), and what difference this makes to the estimated price it might fetch if the present owners ever try to sell it.

    Will costly or rare intangible artworks be used as currency to launder the proceeds of intangible crime? Will cheap intangible works be sold in newsagents and gift shops?

  31. Michael Hoffmann Silver badge

    That first sentence...

    "Readers of El Reg are nothing if not cultured and frequent dabblers of the avant-garde. "

    How long did it take you to write this, interrupted by paroxysms of laughter?

  32. TRT

    I’ll buy it.

    If it comes in green.

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