"Haven't put that claim in yet" - or, possibly, even put in the new staircase either...
Watch that first step, it's a big one!
BOFH logo telephone with devil's horns "We'd just like some explanations of this spending," the Head Beancounter says, slapping a wadge of printouts onto my desk. "Uh, let's see. Laptops... some wireless mice and keyboards, monitors, etc. Yep, COVID things." "Yes, you say it's a COVID thing but a lot of these purchases are …
I wonder if they're still writing off the quicklime and carpet rolls as a COVID expense?
Though I am surprised they didn't take him into the basement..what with the 'cleaning' robot that's still down there.
On second thoughts, they could have left a window open in the meeting room for 'ventilation'...
Shame my window (full height) only opens "tilt", there is a lock that does not let me swing it open. The risk is not as bad as it sounds, there is a second glass pane in front of it (though I am unsure if it would hold back heavy objects, say on an office chair that accidentally rolled against it)...
Nobody is in the office at the moment, so this is sort of moot to contemplate.
It is as well to be aware that accidental scrathing of armoured glass with say a diamond ring or an item madr of tungsten can compromise the integrity of said glass.
Check carefully for deep scratches before encouraging anyone to lean on such glass when pointing out objects of interest.
Err, is "BOFH" actually Boris Operating From Hillingdon this week?
They could have built a room with a cinema sized screen and armchairs, each in an isolated viewing area (with a bar) to enable video conferencing. The bar? "That's so that we can wash our hands and tongues in vodka for guaranteed cleanliness to stop spreading COVID when we speak and use our phones" ...
I worked on a system developed for the then Inland Revenue's Special Compliance Office, a group of auditors and investigators who dealt with serious and special cases such as bent tax collectors and people who caught their interest like Octav Botner. Their investigators were seriously impressive people, backed up by a bunch of ex-services personnel whose job was to stand behind the investigators looking Very Big And Scary during interviews. One guy I talked with affected rimless glasses and a black leather trench coat for the Gestapo vibe.
If you were to remove a tax inspector without leaving a trace you would be lucky if the police turned up first. If the Special Compliance Office arrived instead you would get an auditing that you wouldn't forget for a very long while.
Their investigators were seriously impressive people, backed up by a bunch of ex-services personnel whose job was to stand behind the investigators looking Very Big And Scary during interviews.
Though of course if you were lucky you got Call-Me-Dave and a few billion written off instead.
By "you", I assume you mean "Simon". But in the real world auditors aren't that easily distracted. It's got to be a big enough project with a big enough pay-off – Wirecard, HP's purchase of Autonomy, etc. – for them to be able to invoke the principal-agent problem and get paid not to find anything fishy! ;-)
What Simon and the PFY have done in preparation for the return of the unwashed masses...
As shitty as some users have been here, taking the monitors and docs out of other people's office, instead of bringing their own monitors and docks home, and causing me problems, there will be pain here... a lot of pain...
comes from the epistile of St Roach to the PFYs , chapter 3, verses 14-23
And lo, the blessed day of anticipation arrived, and yet the day is doubled blessed by the BOFH
But ye have forgotton the command of THE LORD
"Lendeth not thy writing implements to thy master on the day of double blessing, for they shallt become foul and unclean"
But Ye did not listen to the wise words.
And thus, thy writing implements didst become foul and unclean.
And yet you pray to THE LORD "Our implements are unclean" while thyselves are to blame for their woeful condition
You must learneth the true wisdom of THE LORD and obey all his just commands.
Here endeth the reading
A while back (a good while back, pre-pandemic), I was talking to one of my collegues about BOFH, saying how I'd learned a lot from it.
A few weeks later, these little straps appeared on all the windows above the ground floor, preventing them from opening more than a few inches.
... funny, that...
Biting the hand that feeds IT © 1998–2021