back to article Be careful, 007. It’s just had a new coat of paint: Today is D-day for would-be Qs to apply to MI6

Like ticket inspectors on a London bus, people who work for MI6 could be anyone, and are #secretlyjustlikeyou. We see no reason why our readers shouldn’t put themselves up for the job (just remember to tip us off securely here when you’re tasked with making Vista work “just one more year” on a dusty PC behind a red door at SIS …

  1. Chris G Silver badge

    I must confess that 'Harnessing Amanda Holdem' made me pause for a moment.

    Working for the intelligence services is akin to Hotel California.

  2. Dr. G. Freeman

    Thought Q was short for Quartermaster ?

    As in find stuff, make stuff and give (grudgingly) out stuff, a job I'd be perfect for as a bodger, tinkerer, and miserable git who hates sharing things.

    From the job description sound more like the computer hacker Alan Cumming in Goldeneye's PHB.

    1. Androgynous Cupboard Silver badge

      Did you not see Spectre? A large part of the job involves writing complex animations and unfathomable user interfaces on an unfeasibly large screen when you're trying to break a password.

      (One day, just one day, I would like to see this represented by making every screen in the room go black and the words "please wait" in the middle of the screen, as all the computer fans kick in and the room temperature goes up 5°. Now that I could buy)

      1. My other car WAS an IAV Stryker Silver badge

        "A large part of the job involves writing complex animations and unfathomable user interfaces on an unfeasibly large screen when you're trying to break a password."

        It's been done for decades; I usually visualize the climactic scene of "Wargames" when it comes to complex animations, unfeasibly large screen(s), and brute-forcing launch codes (passwords).

      2. doublelayer Silver badge

        No, they have to do what would actually happen. The person writes the script to brute force the password and outputs a mostly useless progress indicator which only serves to prove that the program is still running. I'd like to see them have a single terminal which looks like this (at least if I'm the one who wrote it).

        Please wait...

        10000

        20000

        30000

        40000

        50000

        60000

        That would be realistic, although if they're going for maximum realism, they have to throw in some useless warning output as well:

        Please wait...

        10000

        20000

        Password "z0\x94F%": Partially valid header, best candidate so far.

        30000

        40000

    2. not.known@this.address Silver badge
      Coat

      They could tell you, but then they would have to "terminate you with extreme prejudice" as they used to say.

      Mine's the one with "The Bluffers Guide to Espionage" in the lining...

      1. Mike 16 Silver badge

        Forensic Accounting

        Might include a side order of termination, at least the way Ben Affleck does it

        https://www.imdb.com/title/tt2140479/

        (Bonus appearance by Cave Johnson)

  3. sanmigueelbeer Silver badge
    Coat

    that means rubbing shoulders with some of the most horrible people in the UK

    No, it means bending-over-backwards and getting royally "rooted" by the powers-that-be.

  4. disgruntled yank Silver badge

    Cover

    In the early 1950s, my father said, CIA employees were easily spotted among one's acquaintances in Washington, DC. Asked what they did, they would get a slightly embarrassed look and say that they worked "for the government."

    1. sandman

      Re: Cover

      Unlike their Secret Service guys. They have business cards, which calls into question exactly how the "Secret" bit works. (I spent a happy afternoon drinking with one of Clinton's guards in a Washington bar).

    2. Binraider Bronze badge

      Re: Cover

      Sounds rather like the Civil Servants in Cheltenham?

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Cover

        Binraider,

        There are *NO* Civil Servants working in Cheltenham !!!

        There is *NO* Cheltenham !!!

        That building has been proven to be an experimental design for a 'Water Treatment Plant' !!!

        :)

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Cover

          GCHQ was not on the map when I joined in 1968.

          But it was not difficult to find with the uncoded instructions.

        2. GinBear

          Re: Cover

          Reminds me of the joke we had in Cheltenham

          “How many people work at GCHQ?”

          “About half of them!”

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Cover

      Imagine, if you will, how a 6 year old responds to the question, " And what does your father do?", when you don't actually *know* the answer. "He works for the government" was pretty much my stock answer.

      // yes, he did

      // I had an "unusual" family

      1. A.P. Veening Silver badge

        Re: Cover

        "Il est Président de la République" (He is President of the Republic) as the extramarital daughter of Mitterand once told the class. Initially she wasn't believed.

        1. Antron Argaiv Silver badge
          Thumb Up

          Re: Cover

          Well, she's got me beat :-)

    4. Boris the Cockroach Silver badge

      Re: Cover

      Thats exactly what I was told on the first day

      Job description : Civil servant

      Department: Defence department

      (although after a few years working there, our cynical take on it was

      Job description: Tea maker/card game player behind boiler house on a friday afternoon

      Department of wasting a shedload of money on something unnessasary and not buying the stuff we actually need

  5. Strahd Ivarius Silver badge
    Joke

    After yesterday announcement

    The url for posting your application has been moved here.

    Do not be afraid that the new boss looks like Dr Evil (inlcuding the ability to send you into orbit if needed), he is worse than that.

    1. O RLY
      Mushroom

      Re: After yesterday announcement

      Yeah, the guy whose style and business practices emulate a Bond villain now owns the Bond movie franchise...

      Icon for the end of modern Bond movies.

      1. A.P. Veening Silver badge

        Re: After yesterday announcement

        He only owns the studio making them, the rights to produce them are still with EON Productions Limited, owned by Michael G. Wilson and Barbara Broccoli (and yes, the former has made appearances on the villainous side in Bond movies).

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