back to article Another platform on which Java will not run – platform 1 of Newcastle's Central Station

It's a blessed respite for Microsoft's wares today as it appears that it is Java's turn to disgrace itself on platform 1 of Newcastle upon Tyne's Central Station. In this case it is the Java Platform SE binary that has fallen over. The version of Windows on which it is running looks decidedly old hat to us, and eagle-eyed Reg …

  1. sanmigueelbeer Silver badge

    As Adobe Flash stops running, so do some railroads in China

    The last line of the article is the "icing on the cake": Authorities fixed the issue by installing a pirated version of Flash at 4:30 a.m. the following day.

    Charming `til the end.

  2. Pascal Monett Silver badge
    Windows

    "We assume it is just the modern way of doing things"

    The "modern" way of doing things is to link your production code to some fookin' Git library and call it a day.

    Don't go checking the code of said library to make sure that it does what it says on the tin, that would be actual work.

  3. lglethal Silver badge
    Joke

    So the second train in the list...

    is heading to South Java, yeah?

    1. Korev Silver badge
      Coat

      Re: So the second train in the list...

      Pick up some Java from the coffee stand on the way...

    2. TRT Silver badge

      Re: So the second train in the list...

      Railways are one place where you don't want to see any Java version, including Mar Java, Mit Java, Lut Java, Main Sadke Java.

    3. JBowler

      Re: So the second train in the list...

      Nah. Just south.

      [Note: South Shields is *north* of Newcastle Central.]

      1. Dave559 Silver badge

        Re: So the second train in the list...

        I'm assuming that the second train is actually for (Sunderland and) South Hylton, rather than another South Shields service, as that would seem a bit of a suspiciously large gap in service for that route otherwise (it's a frequent service metro, after all)?

  4. knarf

    Java runs on 3 Billions devices ... .sometimes

    Happy path coding and no recovery... bork bork bork

    1. HildyJ Silver badge
      Devil

      Re: Java runs on 3 Billions devices ... .sometimes

      It doesn't so much run as aimlessly shuffle with a occasional stumble.

      Being old I can empathize.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Java runs on 3 Billions devices ... .sometimes

      Write Once, Crash Anywhere.

    3. Dan 55 Silver badge

      Re: Java runs on 3 Billions devices ... .sometimes

      Write once, debug everywhere.

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    What is geordie for Bork?

    F****d

    If you're ever stuck for a geordie translation that will usually cover it.

    1. jeffty

      Re: What is geordie for Bork?

      "pua knackared that leek"

    2. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

      Re: What is geordie for Bork?

      On the other hand, Geordie is home to many loan words, some bastardised, from the Viking invasions, so bork fits right in :-)

      Also, just for clarification, that sign isn't related to mainline trains nor "Central Station Platform 1" as non-locals may know it. That would be the one above ground. The sign relates to the Metro system which is underground inside the City. There have been no mainline trains to South Shields since the Metro was built about 40 years ago. The above ground station has 12 platforms and needs numbers. The underground Metro station only has two platforms and I'm not sure they are actually numbered.

    3. MickyMcG

      Re: What is geordie for Bork?

      Knackered, paggered, buggered, cattled...

  6. Hubert Cumberdale Silver badge

    Quite why one would need the combined lard of Windows and Java to tell punters that the next train to South Shields will arrive soon is anyone's guess.

    Because this.

    1. J27 Silver badge

      When you see something like this it probat means they just got someone to knock it out instead of paying for real developers... Or the people who commissioned it were so out to lunch that they hired frauds to do the work, this happens a lot in software.

  7. Blank Reg Silver badge

    Nothing wrong with using Java here. platform agnostic and plenty of people available who can update the application if needed.

    But a PC running Windows? Why when there are a multitude of small embedded computers available running your choice of more robust OSes that can easily handle such a simple task.

    1. Stoneshop Silver badge
      Facepalm

      platform agnostic

      So you would be seeing the info for platform 2 on platform 7? And platform 3 on platform 1? That's going to cause a repeat of the opening scene of Les Vacances de M.Hulot.

  8. Blackjack Silver badge

    So that what happened to Yahoo exclamation point aka "!".

  9. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

    On a brighter note...

    "Windows can check for an online solution the next time you go on line", so it appears the computer running the display is not accessible from t'internet.

  10. BackToTheFuture

    What is Geordie for bork?

    I do believe it's Borwak, old chap.

    (sips Newcastle Brown and adjusts peak of cap made from Stotty cake)

    1. This post has been deleted by its author

  11. Thunderchild7

    More of an estimate really

    That sign stuck for about three weeks saying next train 18 minutes. None of us were overly bothered, It's mostly just a n estimate than an accurate measure

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