back to article We've finally hit Peak Bork: Microsoft man reveals home-grown welcome back BSOD at Redmond HQ

Microsoft is famed for eating its own dogfood and this week chowed down on a bowl of fresh bork as its consulting boss encountered what we can only assume is the company's latest attempt to deal with Meeting Culture. Ben Rudolph, chief of staff for Microsoft Consulting, tweeted the screen of baleful blue that greeted him …

  1. TonyJ Silver badge

    "...We contacted Microsoft to ask what had befallen the unfortunate display but the company's communications team has yet to respond - doubtless cowering from the bork stalking the hallways..."

    Or rhe FBI haven't forwarded the email yet...

    1. heyrick Silver badge

      They're probably in therapy, recovering from severe sarcasm overload.

  2. Anonymous South African Coward

    I was also about to say it looks like a WIn7 BSOD.

    Unless I'm mistaken...

    1. EVP Silver badge

      The only thing that would have made today’s bork more delicious is that they used a pirated copy.

      1. martyn.hare

        Like the tools they used...

        To make *that* Windows XP song?

  3. Plest Silver badge

    Give them some credit...

    They're prepared to admit they use their own software, it's obviously unpatched ( or at least untested ) and occasionally crashes into a steaming turd pile!

    1. karlkarl Silver badge

      Re: Give them some credit...

      Why not unpatched?

      They try to force those things down everyone elses throats. Especially the pointless updates!

      1. DJV Silver badge

        Re: Pointless?

        You mean you don't want to find out what this week's revised icons look like?

        1. WolfFan Silver badge

          Re: Pointless?

          OneDrive seems to have got new icons on both macOS and Windows. I have no idea when this happened, I just noticed this morning. Remote Desktop on both macOS and iPadOS has received multiple updates in the last month or two; the iPad version has had at least three updates in the last 10 days, including one which failed to install twice. Worked the third time. The other two were fixes for the one which had problems installing. (I sometimes have to remote in using the iPad. Remote Desktop works. Kinda.) The Patch Tuesday updates for Office on both macOS and iPadOS handed out slightly different icons for some documents, don’t know about on Windows, haven’t checked. The guys at MS seem to have a lot of time on their hands. One would think that they’d actually fix the damn OS, but no…

        2. bpfh Silver badge

          Re: Pointless?

          Shirley you have got Windows confused with Android?

  4. John Brown (no body) Silver badge


    "I’m excited to share that Team Room 2075 is once again ready to host meetings"

    Excited? Really? I suppose little things excite little minds. Or did he really mean he was a little bit pleased?

    Excited seems to be massively overused these days. I wonder how he feels about an extreme roller coaster ride? Or a first time parachute jump? Or anything else might be genuinely exciting? Super excited? Ultra excited?

    1. Graham Dawson Silver badge

      Re: Excited?

      It's called "a joke".

      1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

        Re: Excited?

        From a "suit" at MS? I thought they gave up on jokes after giving the world Clippy? Nothing could top that!

    2. heyrick Silver badge

      Re: Excited?

      "Or a first time parachute jump?"

      Meh, the scenery was badly rendered and blurry. Totally unconvincing.

  5. xyz Silver badge

    I dream of a good old fashioned BSOD...

    I've got a meeting on Wednesday... It's a Teams job so I downloaded that onto my laptop yesterday and went off to my cabin in the woods for the weekend where there is no Internet (by design).

    Bloody Teams will not shut up telling me that there is an error because I have no Internet and short of uninstalling the thing, I'm out of options.

    Why can't they have a "Quit" option that actually quits until you unquit or a "Shut the fuck up" option or something. Between Teams and Windows Defender constantly trying to do something they cant, I'm close to sticking the laptop in my wood burning stove. Need a beer.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: I dream of a good old fashioned BSOD...

      AFAIK, it does - not by default, of course - it's TSR (terminate and stay resident, to coin an old DOS term). You just need to go to its settings and untick where it says to keep running.

      What puzzles me, though, is how the message was posted without internet!

      1. Falmari Silver badge

        Re: I dream of a good old fashioned BSOD...

        No need to change settings you can quit teams from the system tray, right-click Teams icon and select quit.

    2. WolfFan Silver badge

      Re: I dream of a good old fashioned BSOD...

      MS simply cannot conceive of anyone willingly disconnecting from Ye InterTubes. Why, think of all that lovely telemetry which can’t be delivered if the network connection is down!

      1. heyrick Silver badge

        Re: I dream of a good old fashioned BSOD...

        It seems like a fair chunk of Android is also "the hell d'you mean there's no internet?!".

        Maybe these city dweller coders should be forced to take a two week work-vacation in the outback or here or somewhere where wired broadband is 3 megabits on a good day (just enough for Netflix at the cheap quality option; don't ask about the bad days) and the fastest wireless network is probably sellotaping printouts to the underside of a barn swallow. Yes, there is 4G. Not in the house, nothing penetrates the stone walls. The sweet spot for rapid big downloads is about fifteen metres into a neighbour's field. Try that during heavy rain following the field being ploughed, or better yet, in about three months. He has planted corn (maize) which makes the field an attractive hiding place for wild boar. Ugly sonsofbitches with serious attitude problems.

        Might give them some perspective on what it's like outside of their urban spawl, why prioritising background data is a bad thing, and why it is annoying that Google allows the YouTube app to hog all of the upload bandwidth (surely freezing out Firefox for minutes at a time implies collusion within the OS itself?).

        Because in the real world, sometimes you don't need to choose to be without connectivity, sometimes that's just how it is.

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    "Peak Bork"......................

    .................a bit premature, don't you think?

  7. Ken Moorhouse Silver badge

    There always seems to be a lot of problems... rooms on the 4th floor.

    400 Bad Request

    401 Unauthorized

    402 Payment Required

    403 Forbidden

    404 Not Found

    405 Method Not Allowed

    406 Not Acceptable

    407 Proxy Authentication Required

    408 Request Timeout

    409 Conflict

    410 Gone

    411 Length Required

    412 Precondition Failed

    413 Payload Too Large

    414 URI Too Long

    415 Unsupported Media Type

    416 Range Not Satisfiable

    417 Expectation Failed

    418 I'm a teapot

    420 A different kind of pot

    421 Misdirected Request

    422 Unprocessable Entity

    423 Locked

    424 Failed Dependency

    425 Too Early

    426 Upgrade Required

    428 Precondition Required

    429 Too Many Requests

    431 Request Header Fields Too Large

    451 Unavailable For Legal Reasons

    1. deadlockvictim Silver badge

      Re: There always seems to be a lot of problems...

      I liked room 418. Brought back memories of Play School and the round window.

  8. Blackjack Silver badge

    Maybe I am wrong, but that bork looks like Windows 7 for me.

    1. Fruit and Nutcase Silver badge

      They probably baulked at paying the fees for Windows 7 support

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    The MS mindset...

    It's telling that they think that if it comes back up after a reboot it must be fine...

  10. PeterM42

    I wonder......

    ......what Bill Gates would have done if he had seen that?

POST COMMENT House rules

Not a member of The Register? Create a new account here.

  • Enter your comment

  • Add an icon

Anonymous cowards cannot choose their icon

Other stories you might like