MI5 wants to shed its cocktail-guzzling posho image – so it's opened an Instagram account

British domestic spy agency MI5 wants to dispel the idea it is staffed by martini-quaffing layabouts who spend implausible amounts of time lounging around top-end bars and hotels. It has therefore opened an Instagram account. News of the agency's foray into the Facebook-owned platform, which shows you heavily filtered …

[Version 1.0]

Is this a joke?

If you visit an Instagram account then they will have all your details ... I think most people are aware that this is how it works these days, but maybe they will be looking at global data collections and saying, "Oh look, this person never visits our social media accounts so they must be up to something to make sure we don't collect their data, we need to investigate..."

[Phil O'Sophical]

Re: Is this a joke?

There's also Matt's take:

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2021/03/31/matt-cartoons-april-2021/matt-cartoon-april-21/

[Anonymous Coward]

martini-drinking stereotypes

Is probably wrong for the people actually working there.

My experience of similar secret-squirrel stuff n the 90s is that the bosses may be Sir Humphreys because they were all hired 40 years before.

The interns were all Oxbridge because that's the only place you would look because there aren't any other universities. But the staff were all much more polytech / no-degree just because they had junior civil-service pay scales

Hard to recruit the best Oxbridge computer scientists and mathematicians when you were paying 10% of what the city was handing out to rocket scientists even back then.

The funniest part was that as pay was only by civll-service grade, the only way to do incentive pay to get certain skills was to promote them. So you had a bunch of fresh graduates with experience in certain high-speed chippery being given head-of-dept rank along with all the access to executive dining washroom perks - which really upset the Sir Humphreys.

[Chris G]

Re: martini-drinking stereotypes

A lot of the grunts are just that, ex military types looking for an office job.

The 'hostile countries' were more likely than not, using LinkedIn as a filter, i.e. anyone with a so called intelligence background posting on there would be put on to the Avoid list.

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: martini-drinking stereotypes

Ex-military? What does the M in MI5 stand for again?

[sanmigueelbeer]

Re: martini-drinking stereotypes

What does the M in MI5 stand for again

Martini Inside, 5pm

[Yet Another Anonymous coward]

Re: martini-drinking stereotypes

>The 'hostile countries' were more likely than not, using LinkedIn as a filter,

I wonder if that's becoming an issue?

Special branch / MI5 / MMB want a 20-something agent to infiltrate a protest / local union / black family whose kid got killed by police.

They need a Facebook / Blog / Instagram / Twitter account with posts going back 10years, so unless you have the ability to order Facebook / Twitter / Myspace / Archive.org etc to fake the background it's going to look a bit suspicous if Mr J Smith who suddenly turns up at your BLM protest with very short hair and cop shoes and has no online presence whatsoever

[Paul Kinsler]

Re: They need a Facebook / ...

Nah. Just a few random posts here on El Reg - which will clearly establish them as the sort of people who quite plausibly wouldn't have any social media :-)

[alain williams]

Well, that shake up ...

is going to stir things up a bit!

[Anonymous Coward]

>cocktail-guzzling posho image

I'm afraid you're confusing them with the very well-bred chaps across the river.

[Anonymous Coward]

Oh, you mean the chaps in the building that can withstand getting hit by an anti-tank rocket on the eight floor?

I'd love to know what that building is made of. I know that some movies show that building as destroyed, but given the limited success that 2000 attack had (it truly was 'but a scratch') I cannot see that happen anytime soon.

If I recall correctly, in the Worricker Trilogy* they were referred to as "the smart ones across the river".

* _{Excellent play, good acting and an excellent way to expose what a certain UK politician has been up without directly saying so and invite retaliation - well executed "between the lines" approach.}

[amanfromMars 1]

About FCUKing Time ...... What the Hell Kept You Champing at the Bit for so Long?

The odds of MI5 becoming an influencer are probably low, though perhaps some future incarnation of James Bond's Q could become a profitable robot influencer.

It is just such an opinion, Gareth, which if believed and accepted and realised, has UKGBNI Security Services always playing catch up, and being discovered and treated as an overlooked bridesmaid rather than stunning, hot flushed and flashing virile bride.

However, in these new crazy times and maddeningly interesting spaces, the chances of that continuing to happen are way past zero, which has me in certain disagreement with you. Some who may be many might find that extremely encouraging and more than simply refreshing and long overdue. Others though, with every good reason to worry about what MI5 and the MoD feel themselves entitled and are well designed to autonomously do in the best of national and international and internetional security interests, certainly not so.

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: About FCUKing Time ...... What the Hell Kept You Champing at the Bit for so Long?

"and treated as an overlooked bridesmaid rather than stunning, hot flushed and flashing virile bride."

Careful, you'll blow your cover me old fruit.

[Claptrap314]

Anyone

who thinks that Jame Bond is in any significant way representative of any intelligence service is someone you really don't want involved in any way at all.

The best reason I can think of to set up the account is for the lols.

The reasons the Western intelligence services will have trouble recruiting have to do mostly with pay (as mentioned above), and the education system which teaches that we should all be ashamed to be living in post-colonial capitalist countries.

Treason & handling top secret information as a matter of routine don't really mix.

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: Anyone

Bond had nothing to do with MI6. This has nothing to do with MI5

[Claptrap314]

No Mr. Bond,

I expect you to tweet.

[Fruit and Nutcase]

The Spy Who...

LovedInfluenced Me

[Anonymous Coward]

Whether...... Was that a question....or a challenge?

Quote: "MI5 chief Ken McCallum said in a statement about @mi5official: "You can insert your own joke about whether we will be following you.""

*

OK. Here's some comments. Love to know what you think!

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bKZ6Pobm

*

[Chris G]

Re: Whether...... Was that a question....or a challenge?

You mis-spelled vgz6XeZwlWret2vWrMTAzk5odAFqVY58RSzONc70 !

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: T0P6BID [...]

tldr

[sanmigueelbeer]

Instagram -- So quaint

It has therefore opened an Instagram account

What, no TikTok? No WeChat?

How quaint.

[Korev]

Re: Instagram -- So quaint

TikTok sounds like the bomb*

*As a 'Merkin might say

[steviebuk]

Has it been long enough?

I applied for the "service" back in the 90s as I'd just finished IT in college and wanted to be a desktop engineer. They had a place but guess my families working class background, grades and lack of work experience (how do you get experience when no one will give you a fucking chace at a job) meant it was a no to even get an interview. I was sent a letter from "the service" and also told not to tell anyone I'd even applied. Guess thats why they have had issues with people applying over the years.

Assume the "Don't tell anyone you applied" is defunct now and cause I never even got offered a fucking interview.

Might help if you pay even just the desktop engineers a decent fucking wage.

[[e-mail]]

Re: Has it been long enough?

Methinks you doth protest too much - go on, you did get the job and are realy working for Box aren't you? :-D

Mine's the one with the well-thumbed copy of "The Bluffer's Guide to Espionage" in the lining... (pockets are for Amateurs!)

[Danny Boyd]

"It has therefore opened an Instagram account." - God, I truly love British humour!

[Anonymous Coward]

Leaks

Apparently MI5 have been asked to look into the leaker of the text messages between Boris and Dyson so we know they're doing important work!