back to article We seem to have materialized in a universe in which Barney the Purple Dinosaur is designing iPhones for Apple

Apple CEO Tim Cook announced a bunch of colorful iThings on Tuesday, including iMac desktop computers in rainbow shades, its most powerful iPad yet, and – gasp – a purple iPhone. M1-powered iPad Pro The top-end iPad Pro is probably the most interesting out of them all. Not only does it contain the iGiant’s homegrown Arm- …

  1. Blackjack Silver badge

    What? No clam shell laptops laptops?

    1. doublelayer Silver badge

      They released those a few months ago. There's not much they could do for a new range so soon. Designing the M2 will take longer.

      1. Dan 55 Silver badge

        Other corporations still haven't cracked convincing their customers to pay to be part of the beta test group as Apple have.

        They slipped up with the Apple Watch though, they had to retcon the first generation as Series 0 as a way of explaining why they're dropping support so soon.

        1. Blackjack Silver badge

          Isn't that what Microsoft is basically doing with Windows 10?

  2. Slx

    If the iPad could run iPadOS as the full macOS when a trackpad and keyboard are attached, I'd consider it.

    1. jonnycando
      Coat

      Differences in the two OS's....but I bet....you could install MacOS on an iPad so that it runs all the time...or maybe dual boot....dunno....hmmmmmmm.........

    2. TheFifth

      I completely agree. M1 MacBooks can already run iOS apps, so I don't think it's a massive ask. Having the option to run full MacOS on the iPad Pro and revert to a different skin when in table mode would be great.

      I have a 10 inch iPad that I use purely for media consumption. Having owned Android and Windows 8/10 tablet devices, the iPad is (in my opinion) the best of the lot for casual sat on the sofa use. Not to sound cliched, but 'it just works'.

      Being freelance and having a few long term clients I support means I have to have a full computer with me pretty much everywhere I go, even when on holiday. It's only for emergencies and it's thankfully only happened once, but if the proverbial hits the fan, I need to have a full computer with me. So I normally end up lugging a laptop (with the requisite enormous charger, case etc.) and an iPad with me wherever I go. Not ideal on a plane.

      I ended up buying a Surface Go and putting Linux on it (Windows is terrible for touch, Gnome is way better). It's passable as a media consumption device, but at least it's a full computer when needed. It's small, neat and light, which is exactly what I was looking for. The downside is that it's a little slow and has less than stellar battery life. You really notice the battery life when using it like you would an iPad. The iPad just keeps going, the Surface seems to want to be plugged in more often than not.

      So come on Apple, give us the powerful, dual purpose device we've been waiting for (I've been waiting for at least). I don't mind if it's not purple.

      1. Slx

        iPadOS certainly has its strong points, but it has a lot of issues that make it quite awkward to work with as a serious computer:

        1) The UI is obviously constrained by being a touch interface, which is fantastic for media consumption and manipulation of things on screen for art, music and so on. You can create all sorts of wonderful touch interaction, but it's extremely awkward for multitasking or dealing with any kind of complicated stuff that would usually involve manipulating multiple windows.

        2) The lack of proper access to a file system is just annoying beyond belief. It's fine if you want to just treat an iPad as an iPad, but it's not a notebook replacement.

        I've brought an iPad pro of a previous generation with me as a work machine and it was frankly like trying to work with one hand tied behind your back for a lot of tasks that would take 2 seconds on a Mac and it's not due to a lack of familiarity - it's just awkward.

        If I could plug in the magic keyboard and hey presto! it's a Mac, I'd absolutely buy one. They're a really nice piece of kit.

        In the meantime, I'm happy enough to bring a MacBook Pro around with me and really it's not that heavy or bulky either.

        I'm looking forward to seeing what they do with the MBP with the M series processors. It could end up being a stunning machine.

        1. TheFifth

          You've hit the nail on the head saying it's "like trying to work with one hand tied behind your back". Even the simplest things take ten times as long as they should.

          I agree that the MacBook Pro isn't that heavy, but when we're visiting the in-laws, my Wife tends to buy a ridiculous number of gifts, so our flights over are with bulging bags and right on the weight limit. Those few KGs can make all the difference.

          Also, it's just another thing to carry that would be nice not to have to. As I say, the Surface Go does a passable job filling the gap, but having something more powerful would be brilliant.

    3. DS999 Silver badge

      I wouldn't be shocked if that's coming

      It is basically the same kernel, all they would need is an "app" you could install that would provide all the macOS APIs and run the Mac GUI. For now though they are probably more worried about getting the rest of the Mac line on ARM, which will probably take another 12-18 months.

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Coffee/keyboard

    Scrabbling around

    "Oh shit, its time for the launch. What can we do?"

    "Oh, oh, I've got it! Colours! No-one remembers the G3 these days."

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    Ooh, Shiny

    Must update my iPhone 12 to the purple edition or my friends will laugh at me.

    1. Khaptain Silver badge
      Trollface

      Re: Ooh, Shiny

      They already do, no need to upgrade

    2. James Anderson

      Re: Ooh, Shiny

      How would they know it’s purple. All the iPhone owners I know wrap their £700 “beautiful award winning design” in cheapo plastic novelty cases.

      1. Nick Ryan Silver badge

        Re: Ooh, Shiny

        This is far too true. It must be particularly annoying for the hardware developers, as bar the odd total screw up (edge antenna) the iPhones have been mechanically superbly designed and manufactured. With substantial sub-mm tolerances and good design aiming for the slimmest body as possible... all to be wrapped up in a huge, ugly as hell case.

        1. Dave559 Silver badge

          Re: Ooh, Shiny

          The number of people I have seen with slate form-factor smartphones with horribly cracked screens after having been dropped or otherwise abused, you're damn right the first thing I do is put any newly acquired expensive gadget into a protective case!

          Yes, it does make producing phones in different colours somewhat pointless, but I'd rather protect my phone than show off what colour it is (having said that, the purple colour looks quite nice).

        2. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge

          Re: Ooh, Shiny

          Nick Ryan,

          I don't call it good design myself. It's designed to look pretty for a day, or a few months for the mythical person who never drops anything and always has perfectly clean hands.

          For the rest of us mere mortals, a case is a requirement. So why not design the phone to be ergonomic out of the box?

          Rember the old HTC Desire? Lovely ergonomic rubber coating on the back and sides, so non-slip and comfortable to hold. Also with bezels round the screen to protect it, from anything other than a direct drop face down to a non flat surface, as the rubber and bezel protected it on flat ones. Also looked nice, as there was brushed alumium on the bits that weren't rubberised. That was actual good design. The iPhones sacrifice usability for prettiness.

          This being the company that brought you the glass backed phone, because apparently bars of soap weren't slippery enough for Apple...

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: Ooh, Shiny

            For years I've used a smart phone without worrying about putting it in a case, I liked to carry it in my pocket and the bulk of case made this much harder. I found the inside of my trouser pocket did a good job of keeping it nice and clean and shiny.

            Got away with it for over 10 years.

            Finally dropped it and broke the screen a couple of weeks back :-(

            I'd cope with needing a replacement due to breakage after 10 years.

            But

            The new one is so sodding big it doesn't fit as easily.

            Can't think when I last needed to wear a suit and so chuck the phone in the suit pocket. What with a year of lockdowns, the whole usage case has changed and I've finally succumbed to keeping the phone in a case. Bloody hate it, but it's probably better in the long run, even if it is much bulkier and I've never cared too much what it looks like.

            1. Whiznot

              Re: Ooh, Shiny

              If my Pixel wasn't so slippery I would go without a case. Why are phones so difficult to hold?

              1. JDPower666

                Re: Ooh, Shiny

                Main reason I always put a silicon case on mine - it's less likely to break if its not constantly sliding out of my hand/pocket

          2. Nick Ryan Silver badge

            Re: Ooh, Shiny

            I didn't say that it was always appropriate design, but the quality of the mechanical design and manufacturing is, in general, very good.

            I'd forgotten about the glass back silliness, but then I'd also blotted out the stupid curved back phone which needed the smallest of taps to send it skidding and spinning across a table (and onto the floor).

        3. doublelayer Silver badge

          Re: Ooh, Shiny

          The hardware designers certainly do attempt to construct the phones well. They want it to not bend, not overheat, and be thin and stylish. They don't spend so much time on not gaining scratches, not shattering, and being easy to hold. I have never broken a phone screen, but I know people who have. I also know that the glass on the back is easier to shatter than the glass on the screen, which makes things worse. They have also managed to reduce the phone's friction coefficient so low that they are almost ready for first-level physics class. The result is that people put them in cases so they are less likely to be dropped and more likely to survive if that does happen.

      2. masterbaiter

        Re: Ooh, Shiny

        I am the proud (and ridiculed!) owner of an iPhone3. (A technological experiment for me, as I tell the incredulous people who see how old my phone is. I'm lucky I guess that I don't want Zuckerborg's whatsapp or any similar stuff anywhere near me.) It's never been in a case. Still not a scratch on it. Amazed it still works, but hats off to Apple for the fact that it does. (Mind you the next phone I get will probably not be an Apple. Stupidly expensive in a modern world.) Flame away, but how hard is it to take care of such sensitive devices?

  5. redpawn

    I'd get one but...

    I'd have to repaint my office first. It's painted beige to match the Mac Plus.

  6. Barry Rueger

    Bondi Blue?

    Am I remembering that right? The day that beige computing died.

    1. My other car WAS an IAV Stryker Silver badge

      Re: Bondi Blue?

      And most office kit ran the other way to almost-black grays.

      (Then Apple went full black with the iDevices, then white, then shiny metal, then colors, now returning to their desktop kit. This style stuff appears to go in cycles, just like everything else in culture.)

  7. Tim99 Silver badge
    Gimp

    There, there

    Those of us who were left behind by fashion can still order grey iThings...

  8. The Central Scrutinizer

    What's next, tangerine iMacs? Oh, wait....

  9. YetAnotherJoeBlow

    That chair Tim is sitting in... Is he a pope?

    1. James O'Shea Silver badge

      Prepare to die, heretic. There is but one true iPope: the almighty iSteve. The iTim is merely his prophet.

      Onward, Apple soldiers, marching as to war

      With the chair of the iSteve going on before

      Jobs, the royal Master, leads against the foe

      Forward into battle see His banners go

      (Who, me? Unimpressed? Whatever gave you that idea? I was hoping for a 16" MBP to replace my current ancient laptop. I guess my credit card stays in my wallet. And the 16" MBP had better not have strange colours if/when it appears.)

      1. VicMortimer
        Flame

        Huh? You can get a 16" MacBook Pro right now.

        And you REALLY should, before they release one with that stupid M1 garbage chip. You can get it with 64GB RAM, far better than the 16GB you'll be limited to on the M1.

        Seriously, if you want a Mac, buy an Intel Mac now while you still can.

        1. Snapper

          Ummm...you didn't use the joke icon?

  10. chivo243 Silver badge
    Happy

    iMac G3!

    What is old is new... same old cycle. When to tie dye shirt come back into fashio?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: iMac G3!

      Soon my friend soon, fear not. The mullet is making a come back its only a matter of a little more time, patience, the tie dye will be yours.

      1. Jason McLaughlin

        Re: iMac G3!

        The mullet appears to be on a 17/18 year cycle. It was only de rigeur in Shorditch in 2002/3.

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Sadly.....

    "We seem to have materialized in a universe in which Barney the Purple Dinosaur is designing iPhones for Apple"

    Sadly.he seems to design most consumer products these days, including cars.....

    1. Apprentice of Tokenism
      Pint

      Re: Sadly.....

      Fantastic.

      Cheers!

  12. Disgusted Of Tunbridge Wells Silver badge

    I don't see the problem, they look quite good.

    What's the problem with choice?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Pirate

      I think the problem is that people whose lives are boring and grey and order a boring grey one feel all upset that other people may have more interesting and, well, colourful lives and order a more interesting colour. This makes these people very cross. Which is good, on the whole.

      1. Disgusted Of Tunbridge Wells Silver badge

        I would buy the blue one, if I was buying one. It looks decent.

  13. Flywheel

    Intrigued by the small memory, SSD options on iMac

    From what I can gather, they're really pitching these at media professionals, but 8-16Gb of memory, 512Gb of SSD (with 1, 2Tb options) doesn't seem to add up.

    1. Korev Silver badge

      Re: Intrigued by the small memory, SSD options on iMac

      I'd like to buy a Mx Mac, but 16GB isn't really enough RAM for doing photos etc. these days. Lightroom on my PC will take over half of the 32GB available.

    2. Dave559 Silver badge

      Re: Intrigued by the small memory, SSD options on iMac

      "From what I can gather, they're really pitching these at media professionals, but 8-16Gb of memory, 512Gb of SSD (with 1, 2Tb options) doesn't seem to add up."

      I regret that I can only upvote this comment once.

      16 GB RAM, 512 GB storage, should be the absolute minimum entry spec, and even that's going to be a bit short-sighted the way computing demands are going; 32 GB / 1 TB would be better.

      Sure, there will be some hipster businesses that buy these just to look shiny on the reception desk and aren't doing anything challenging with them, but those sorts of businesses clearly have money to burn anyway, so if they bumped the entry spec, that would surely swing the economies of scale balance, and therefore retail price (oh, no, wait, this is Apple…) so that Apple would be able to get more competitive pricing on the RAM and storage from their suppliers (goes off dreaming back into fantasyland again…).

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Intrigued by the small memory, SSD options on iMac

        I am doing a lot with my Mac Mini (16GB and 1TB), Canon R6 photo/video editing with Photoshop on CC and Final Cut amongst other things. This is exactly what these are designed for. The M1 processor is the ENTRY LEVEL processor in the range, as has been pointed out many times before.

        On a M1 Mac, 16GB of memory and 1TB SSD is very capable of doing everything I need as a photographer (I get paid for images) and vlogger. I'm not editing footage for the next series of The Crown but 4K footage from the R6 and GoPro Hero 9 is handled very well, no dropped frames, very smooth experience and much better than the last i7 PC I used with a dedicated GPU and 32GB memory and SSD. Plus it runs all the Office 365 stuff without having to use Windows.

        Also have a look at how much a good 24" 4k display costs - the Apple comes with a nice looking 4k5 screen with P3 and true tone, but I'd understand if you'd prefer something ugly sitting in your office :)

        Maybe try one before slagging them off, you might be very surprised and enjoy the experience ! I did and was so impressed I bought the company . . . . sorry, no, that's somebody else, I was so impressed I bought one and sold my office PC :)

        1. Dave559 Silver badge

          Re: Intrigued by the small memory, SSD options on iMac

          "On a M1 Mac, 16GB of memory and 1TB SSD is very capable of doing everything I need as a photographer"

          I don't disagree! But the base model only comes with 8 GB RAM, which is definitely scrimping things, and by implication you have acknowledged that 256 GB storage is far from enough (especially if you are doing photo/video/music/etc editing).

          My 2015 MacBook Pro is still going (fairly) strong [1], although MacOS Big Sur has hirpled it a bit (quite frustrating, as it really was doing perfectly fine until then). I'm very glad I went for 16 GB back then, because I'm finding that I certainly do need most of it now. I'm not slagging Macs, just Apple's near-useless entry-level spec choices.

          And that's the thing: 16 GB RAM might be enough for your computer now, but how will it cope with only that amount in, say, 3 years time? Some of us want/need to stretch our computer's lifespans to the longest possible time, as new Macs are expensive and upgrades increasingly impossible, very frustratingly.

          [1] I'd like to be able to get another year's use out of it, but I suspect that the rumoured forthcoming 14-inch ARM-based MacBookPro will have to replace it…

      2. iron Silver badge

        Re: Intrigued by the small memory, SSD options on iMac

        Consisdering the price for Apple upgrades, 16 GB / 1 TB should be the minimum. You can't store anything in 512 MB once you install a few apps.

        1. Snapper

          Re: Intrigued by the small memory, SSD options on iMac

          'You can't store anything in 512 MB once you install a few apps under Windows 10'

          There, fixed it for you!

      3. Cliffwilliams44 Bronze badge

        Re: Intrigued by the small memory, SSD options on iMac

        "Sure, there will be some hipster businesses that buy these just to look shiny on the reception desk and aren't doing anything challenging with them, but those sorts of businesses clearly have money to burn anyway, so if they bumped the entry spec, that would surely swing the economies of scale balance, and therefore retail price (oh, no, wait, this is Apple…) so that Apple would be able to get more competitive pricing on the RAM and storage from their suppliers (goes off dreaming back into fantasyland again…)."

        This made me think of the Law Form I once had as a customer back in the day. They had this drop dead gorgeous woman sitting at the reception desk. She had a phone and no computer. After she escorted me to the senior partners office (and he notice my interest in her) I asked "does she not need email?" He responded that "She gets payed very well to sit there and be nice to our clients. That is her one and only function!" It was of course the mid-90's. I wonder how that would go over in today's world.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Intrigued by the small memory, SSD options on iMac

          She’d be an intern now..

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: Intrigued by the small memory, SSD options on iMac

            Was her name Rachael?

    3. Ace2 Silver badge

      Re: Intrigued by the small memory, SSD options on iMac

      And 24” screens - nonstarter. Like, I’m not switching to a smaller monitor. Why would anyone?

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Intrigued by the small memory, SSD options on iMac

        Maybe it's not for you then. There will be a 28" version with a faster processor soon.

  14. Nick Ryan Silver badge

    M1 Processor

    The M1 processor is really quite good, however those that know about such things in more detail have stated that while good it's nowhere near the potential and it's very much a first-gen processor and they are expecting much better for the M2 processor.

  15. ForthIsNotDead
    Unhappy

    Will it take an SD Card?

    No?

    No it is, then.

    1. Disgusted Of Tunbridge Wells Silver badge

      Re: Will it take an SD Card?

      You know you can get USB adapters for such retro kit, don't you?

  16. TRT Silver badge

    Does anyone ever...

    use Apple Arcade? I mean other than dipping in the toe of curiosity on a long and boring winter evening?

  17. 96percentchimp

    Ping, ping goes the luggage belt

    So that's something new to dread when we're allowed to travel again...all the iPhone users pinging their AirTagged luggage in the baggage hall. Of course, no-one will be able to tell which ping is coming from their luggage, except that being iPhone users, they'll be the ones with the overpriced designer bags.

  18. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I am in DigitalCreative and Social, and these are brilliant! Here's why.

    Silicone was invented by Apple so the Apple M1 Silicone [named after the famous motorway linking Soho in London zone 1 to zone 6 and maybe even further] that is in the all-new Apple Silicone iMac is the best and fastest Silicone ever invented by anyone ever. This allows us in the CreateDigital and Social industry to provide creative at a much faster pace than someone who isn't running the new Silicone could do. For instance I put together a web presence framework that leverages google positivewise (it's a css over google.com) much faster because of the new Silicone. I tweet about this in my Blog, <<Digital_Warrior_Peace_Nomad__>>.

    The coloured cases also dispute heat far better which is good for the planet and, as Apple state in their Sustainability Contact with Gaia, literally every molecule, atom and molecule in the new apple products has existed before and probably has been used before. That's literally 98% recycling which has never been done before by anyone. It's like saving fish but still eating fish. Because the silicone has been recycled, this allows apps to run faster because they have literally run before on these molecules.

    Apple Silicone will change the world. Even my sister has expressed an interest in getting siliconed up and she is (a) only 21 and (b) not in creative at all. My mum too.

    Tim Cook is literally a digital god.

    1. Dave559 Silver badge

      Re: I am in DigitalCreative and Social, and these are brilliant! Here's why.

      Hi, Steve Bong, we've missed you. Please don't post when you're drunk, though… ;-)

  19. Joe Gurman

    Slight correction

    Wondering if the author has been covering Apple for very long. They monetize everything; the pencil (erm, Pencil) is an option (and a US$129/£119 one at that), not in the box with the fondleslab. (Disclaimer: Happy vibrating, light-up, Internet fondleslab user, sans pencil, erm, Pencil.)

  20. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    "and a gigabit Ethernet port that's actually on the connected power adapter."

    That's actually a decent idea, one less cord to unplug when leaving your desk. I still prefer a decent dock like the Lenovo P series docks, though.

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