What's the point of setting up a date with someone you're not allowed to meet
For someone who admits to building a large stash of grainy screengrabs of household interiors, I'd say you were potentially overlooking an opportunity.
No, not wabbit. Not even chocolate eggs. I'm hunting wild asparagus. This is about as inventive as it comes for an April Fool's hoax in lockdown Europe. A local newspaper yesterday morning ran an article offering tips (ho ho) for those who fancy foraging for their spring asparagus in the wild – or at least within the …
And missing out the book titles such as "How to snope on people" and "stalking for beginners"
along with zooming in that bit further and realising that theres a collection of sex toys on the bottom shelf.
Of course, what your clients have in their offices is entirely their affair and its not for you to judge
> What's the point of setting up a date with someone you're not allowed to meet
Lots of points, from the devious to the obvious:
1. Nobody will ever know you're actually not a barely legal busty hottie with surprisingly male fantasies.
2. You have a solid, credible and polite excuse to not meet some person...
3. Definitely cheaper than dating.
4. Perfect for the terminally timid, those who wouldn't survive the stress of a first date with a stranger. It allows them to keep a safe distance until after the marriage.
(Just those which come to mind while drinking my morning coffee)
Here in Spain too, since the latter half of February there have been otherwise relatively normal people with carrier bags rummaging around the hedgerows and field margins picking asparagus.
You have to get your eye in to spot the edible shoots and wear leather work gloves because the mature plant is very spiky.
Nice to see and hear Ian Dury, he was one of the best singer/songwriter/poets ever in my opinion, and a good musician to boot.
>>You have to get your eye in to spot the edible shoots and wear leather work gloves because the mature plant is very spiky.
Ahh... I picked a pile yesterday and had it for dinner... Been dog ill all day, but at least I now know there are edible and not edible shoots. Thank god I'm better at picking mushrooms.
As with mushrooms it's gotten too popular in recent times and now everyone is after some.
Just watch out for the fauna. I nearly trod on a snake today.
Piss is the least of the problems when out in popular spots. The amount of KK is pretty bad. And I'm pretty sure it's not dogs, given the toilet paper.
Erm. Well, actually...
Lockdown last year coincided with it getting hot, and nothing treats it getting hot better than an ice-cold beer of an evening - perhaps accompanied by an ice-cold Thatchers Vintage on weekends.
After quickly realising that even if you could get a supermarket slot, there wasn't actually much left you could buy, less so if it was remotely alcoholic (or capable of making anything alcoholic), I widened my search. Corona is my favourite.
I'm making sure that this summer, I have a few cases of Corona in reserve for emergencies.
Before lockdown, that could have been me.
On a night out, a bottle of Corona can set you back £4 or more. But when Asda is doing a Rollback or a two-pack offer, you can buy it for the equivalent of 75p a bottle. Even at normal prices it's only just over £1.
This week I have mainly been making a cold smoker, tested it with some streaky pork and then cooked the pork in the oven. My wife and I sat in the evening sun with some of the best smoky pork I have ever had, washed down with ice cold corona.:-)
IIRC my neighbour's dad used to be a Corona lorry labourer.
In those days there was a 3d deposit on bottles. Just take the bottle back to the retailer. When we were a bit broke we would go round the back of the newsagents and grab a few, then go round the front to collect the money.
My favourite lemonade was Franklin's. I swear it came in swing-top ceramic stopper bottles, but can find no reference to that on t'internet.
I remember that Corona pop originally came in bottles with a ceramic lever stopper. ISTR they changed to crown tops in the late 50s.
Looking back on it, of all the things that used to be delivered (milk, meat, fish, groceries...), Corona seems the oddest.
I assume you are referring to the multi flavoured fizz of old in the UK, usually came with a screwtop and sixpence (?) deposit on the bottle.
That Corona was normally accompanied by a packet of crisp that had salt in a little blue twist of waxed paper. I preferred Tizer in the bottles with a vulcanite stopper.
Yes, I am that old!
For anyone who celebrated cinco de Mayo, Corona beer is an important part of making good guacamole according to a couple of my Mexican friends.
My parents were rather alarmed that I got through a bottle of that stuff per day. Great stuff...
It was round about the time it started appearing in cans that my addiction ceased, IIRC pouring it into a glass it was a funny pink colour.
Smith's crisps were the one's with the blue bag of salt which was usually a solid ball by the time it was purchased.
Back in the same time period, beer used to come in quart glass bottles with Bakelite screw/plug stoppers (with a rubber seal).
The local brand was mainly Shipstones.
Also in the same time period (I must have been about 6), when visiting my grandmother, they'd send me to the local corner off-licence to have a lidded ceramic-coated tin jug filled up with Milk Stout for her.
Last year, during the height of the Melbourne lockdowns, I made sure to send a picture of me enjoying - or drinking, anyway, a Corona at a West Australian beachside resort to the in-laws in Victoria, as a symbol of solidarity...
"We may not have Covid-19 over here, but we're with you in spirit..."
I can understand how the BBC video about spaghetti in Ticino would work. It was 1954, rationing was just over, I doubt many in the UK had even seen spaghetti before. If you do have the chance to visit, go to Lake Lugano, Maggiore and Como, in summer it really is stunningly beautiful.
You have to wonder how much Julian Pettifer went completely over the heads of those viewers who didn't know any better and just ended up reinforcing English exceptionalism.
People seem to have forgotten how to do an April Fools thing properly.
Did you see the one Deliveroo pulled yesterday in France?
They sent people fake bills for orders of dozens of pizzas. Those who received them were trying to contact their banks to stop payments.
The problem is, your account (or card) could get blocked quite easily by the bank if fraud is suspected.
I think it was Compaq that really irritated me.
Luckily I was the only one that received their mailings.
They sent out a mailshot with dozens of loose 5mm inch square black card squares which, when you opened the envelope, spilled out over the floor. They did send a follow-up apology, but what possessed them to do it in the first place?
Regarding that "convert a black-and-white television into a colour set using nylon stockings" video. As I don't speak Swedish I turned the subtitles on whereupon much merriment was discovered as YouTube tries to take spoken Swedish and generate English subtitles from the sounds - try it and laugh at such delights as "sucks one holotape you see lemon a little were technical" and "so many Celicia genitals I stooped addressed unto me van of a fighter voluminous problem man". Fantastic, and may give us a clue as to where amanfrommars sources his material!
I seem to remember some of the more tricksy hobbitses selling color conversion filters that were sheets of vinyl that would stick to the screen. There was a blue band at the top, a green one in the middle and so forth. I suppose it worked well enough for watching football....
Some hobbyists out there still seem to be searching for the same Philosopher's Stone with modest success.
This is based on the old Col-R-Tel system from the 50s, and involves a spinning wheel with coloured filters on it.
I'm sure it blended in with the furnishings wonderfully.
The one you mentioned was apparently very real* - though also as you said, not very good.
* I am not associated with that blog.
How the company must wish the WHO had dubbed it Budweiservirus instead. Me, I wish they'd called it Bogroll-19.
All very well having non-racist, politically inoffensive generic descriptions for the pandemic, but it doesnt TEACH anything.
I prefer "Bolsonaros Little Flu", or similar depending on whatever local office holding oxygen thief decided their economy mattered more than their people.. "Orange Fever" may be applicable in the USA.
Reminds me of an employee I had. His initials were very appropriate for the story I am about to relate ;-))
After he left I decided one day to clear up some space on the pc he was using.
I discovered that his favoured technique of clearing space when running out of space was to pick a group of folders, right-click and create a zip file, then delete the folders.
Trouble was, a lot of those folders in turn, contained zipped content... I quickly found out why the word recursion embodies the word curse, and gave up.
If data could eventually turn itself into coal, then forget BitCoin, we would be millionaires.
I have the problem that 90 % of my Apps are games, some no longer can be found anywhere, so I really hesitate a lot at unistalling them unless the game itself is really bad. My travel phone has 21 Apps that can be uninstalled but that's because it runs really slow so I moved the games to a different phone so it has the bare minimum.
Heck I still keep my old Nokia N8 just for the games and to use as a MP3 player.
Something for the Weekend "I have just read your profile. Have you ever thought about becoming a real estate agent?"
This is my own fault for blindly accepting every connection request on LinkedIn. My network of professional contacts is in the hundreds but I know only about a dozen of them. The rest? I honestly haven't a clue who they are. They ask to connect and I accept.
LinkedIn should consider swapping its Accept / Reject Connection Request options for a simple Yeah Whatever button.
Something for the Weekend A robot is performing interpretive dance on my doorstep.
WOULD YOU TAKE THIS PARCEL FOR YOUR NEIGHBOR? it asks, jumping from one foot to the other.
"Sure," I say. "Er… are you OK?"
Something for the Weekend Which do you prefer: sweat or green slime? Both are being touted as clean sources of energy to drive electronic devices.
Hmm. “Clean” is not how my sweat has heretofore been described, least of all the morning after a garlic curry. But even my pit-pong pales into paucity compared with the environmental damage inflicted by a nuclear power station. And for all my lack of wattage, I positively glow in outrageously self-obsessed smugness. I must let my LinkedIn followers know.
Still, green slime – aka "blue green algae" – has its advantages over sweat. It is more plentiful for a start. Which would be the better option for powering small computers? It’s literally a power struggle between the two. And there is only so much sweat I can produce per day (despite Mme D’s observations to the contrary).
Something for the Weekend We're standing still. The suspense is unbearable. One of us is going to crack.
On the large projector screen is a message: "The application is not responding." Facing the large projector screen is a roomful of startup dudes. Staring back at them, and situated just underneath the projector screen, is the flailing, forlorn presenter himself: me.
"It's never done that before," I lie as I eventually give up frantically tapping the keyboard and jabbing the trackpad as if I was playing whack-a-mole.
Something for the Weekend Another coffee, please. Yes, I know we're about to start. There is always time for one more coffee. It's good for your brain. Thanks.
Could you hold my cup for a moment? I need to visit the restroom. Yes, I know we're about to start; you told me that already. There is always time for coffee AND a comfort break. Yes, I know the two are related but I don't have time to chat about it. I'm bursting here.
How about I drink the coffee straight away, nip to the WC, and return pronto? Slurp argh that's hot. Thanks, I'll be right back.
Something for the Weekend "We all know what we're doing today? Good. Do your best!"
With that cheery note, our new project director sweeps out of the 10:00 stand-up meeting and away to… someplace or another, I don't know, wherever it is that project directors go. Project managers can be found everywhere, usually nearby a waste basket overflowing with disposable coffee cups, but project directors? Who can say?
These project directors are a mystery. It's not a job title I'd come across before. They just swan in from time to time, managerial but polite and rather vague, then drift out again with a farewell motto such as "Do your best!" or "You've all done very well!" like Young Mr Grace.
Something for the Weekend My neighbor is talking to a rock. He is trying to persuade it to sing.
Urging him back to the barbecue, I make a mental note to abstain from the cheap luminous pink sparkling rosé that he'd been drinking. It's easy to recognize the bottles – I'm the one who brought them to the party.
He asks me to hang on a mo, turns back to his rockery – is it new? I never noticed it before – and addresses his favorite rock by name.
Something for the Weekend The bloke next to me is acting strangely. Sitting bolt upright and staring straight ahead, he is holding his hand, palm forward, level with his face.
"You don't need to raise your hand, Mike. It's not Zoom, ha ha," laughs the meeting's chair.
Mike remains motionless, stiff as a board, hand still up, not saying anything. So we ignore him and carry on with the discussion.
Something for the Weekend Robots want my face. This is horrifying – not just for me, but for you too. Just imagine: it means robots will be walking around with my face, stuck on their face.
Luckily for me, the process is likely to be virtual, not physical. Nor will I have to do a swap, thank goodness. Knowing my luck I'd end up with neither John Travolta's darling dimples nor Nicolas Cage's vacant visage, but the freaky mush of a post-surgery Bogdanoff twin.
However I'm getting ahead of myself; all of this is in the future. For the moment, we've just about reached a stage where it is possible to present a convincing-looking AI-powered synthetic video of a natural human face that speaks whatever you tell it to in any language you choose – in real time. You can use it, for example, to put a nice face on your product promos, training vids, and weather reports without having to hire an actor and book studio time.
Something for the Weekend How can you save the world's oceans? By investing in NFTs of course!
A global network of campaigning filmmakers, Ocean Collective, hopes to drive up awareness about declining marine biodiversity by developing a digital Museum of Extinction.
Items of artwork from the museum will then be sold as NFT purchases to raise cash to fund a documentary series on the topic along with other environmental awareness projects.
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