back to article Gummy bears as a unit of measure? The Reg Standards Soviet will not stand for this sort of silliness

A new potential contribution to the world's sole source of approved units of measure has emerged – the Haribo gummy bear. The Register's Standards Bureau has been forwarded a curious YouTube video in which the use of gelatinous ursine miniatures as a metric is featured and frankly we're not sure what to make of this. YouTube …

  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Disappointing

    I find the DC Rainmaker reviews informative and worthwhile, but how can I now take him seriously after such a breach :-(

    1. Khaptain Silver badge

      Re: Disappointing

      DCRainmaker is like the David Attenborough of reviews. If he states that a camera measures 2 gummy bears then I know that that camera measures 2 gummy bears.

      Gummy bears also have the advantage that they can be bought in places where other measuring devices can't be found. And they also act as a lovely introduction for the very young into the world of metrics.

      1. ThatOne Silver badge
        Devil

        Re: Disappointing

        Yes, but are we talking standard or giant gummy bears?...

        Didn't really compare, but IIRC the size ratio looks like about 1.5x.

        1. Korev Silver badge
          Coat

          Re: Disappointing

          I know, the bear cheek of it!

        2. Mike Richards Silver badge

          Re: Disappointing

          And are the sugar-free ones the same size? They certainly have different - erm - effects:

          https://www.amazon.com/review/R3P35NL8AIA3GS

      2. macjules Silver badge
        Childcatcher

        Re: Disappointing

        I find it abhorrent that children could learn that instruments of measurement might be edible. I mean, would you want your children trying to eat an alligator when it should be eating them? It is a protected species for God’s sake.

        1. Khaptain Silver badge

          Re: Disappointing

          That depends on whether you mean the yellow or the reds ones...

  2. Vulch
    Boffin

    A measure of difficulty

    As anyone with a Prusa 3d printer knows well, the Gummy Bear is a unit of difficulty. For instance assembling one of their Mk3S printers involves steps ranging from a mere four bears right up to eight.

  3. Boo Radley

    Football Fields

    Nothing annoys me quite as much as a building or other construction as being x football fields in length or area. I have only a vague idea of the length or area of said field, and does this vary if one is using a soccer field? I dont think they're the same size.

    1. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

      Re: Football Fields

      When something I recognise is quoted in football fields my reaction, should I be interested enough to have one, is along the lines of "so that's the size of a football field".

    2. sbt Silver badge
      Coat

      Re: I don't think they're the same size

      Spot on. Anyway, it can't be soccer; I'm pretty sure they play on pitches, not fields. And they vary in length from 90 to 120m. While the American version is played on a field of standard length, it's arguable whether it's football; they seem to mostly run with and throw the pill and it's not really ball shaped.

    3. HildyJ Silver badge
      Angel

      Re: Football Fields

      I find 'olympic sized swimming pools' even worse. I don't need to be reminded that I'm not one of the elite media or architects who has one of these in their mansion.

      Still, in our ever shrinking world, perhaps adding a shorter measure might make sense. What is the width of ERII's thumb?

      1. don't you hate it when you lose your account Silver badge

        Re: Football Fields

        If I remember rightly the Olympic swimming pool built in Leeds turned out to be too small to be classed as an Olympic pool.

        1. ThatOne Silver badge

          Re: Football Fields

          Bah. A small private swimming pool in original Olympia, Greece, Is bound to count as an "Olympic swimming pool" too, so this is definitely not a very trustworthy unit.

        2. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

          Re: Football Fields

          >Olympic swimming pool built in Leeds turned out to be too small to be classed as an Olympic pool.

          Could this harm Leed's chances to host the next Olympics ?

          I quite fancy a Yorkshire Olympics

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: Football Fields

            The old international pool was demolished in 2009, but the Leeds aquatic centre is the proper size. The Dutch and Chinese swimming teams apparently trained there in the run up to the London games.

            Not sure Leeds would be daft enough to bid for the money pit that is the Olympics though.

            1. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

              Re: Football Fields

              >Not sure Leeds would be daft enough to bid for the money pit that is the Olympics though

              But if wer run in Yorksha it mek a profit.

              No fancy stadium, just run to the other end of the carpark, cross-country is the wasteground next to school

              Marathon would be around the ring road, not closed to traffic to give you a bit of a boost

              Rowing in the Canal

              1. Anonymous Coward
                Anonymous Coward

                Re: Football Fields

                "cross-country is the wasteground next to school"

                We used to do sport on the wasteground near the school. The site of the old Quarry Hill flats. After they were demolished there was a field my school used for a few years. Then they built the DSS HQ on it.

          2. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: Football Fields

            I quite fancy a Yorkshire Olympics

            When I were a lad we had to run t' Olympic marathon wi' hundredweight o' tripe down our trousers, then we 'ad to do t' cycling with nowt for wheels while being chased by packs o' starving whippets.

            Kids these days...

            1. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

              Re: Football Fields

              Of course we ad it tough....

      2. Lucy in the Sky (with Diamonds)

        Re: Football Fields

        Football fields are funny. You put two school bags on the ground a few meters apart at one end of a space. There's a goal. At the other end, you put down two more bags, and that is the other. In between is the football field. Size, for a lack of a better word, does not matter in this context.

        Olympic sized pools are different, you do not mark them on an empty piece of land, they are more standardised in a way. When your parents send you off to swim three days a week after school, and they make you do lengths hours at a time, it will be engrained pretty fast that it is fifty metres long. Yes, it is more then two metres deep, but hey, you can swim, so that matters not. How wide, well, I have no clue. Eight lanes wide, but then no idea how wide is a lane...

        So an Olympic pool (Remember, the original Olympics had no swimming) is exactly fifty metres long, over two metres deep and precisely eight lanes accross.

        1. A.P. Veening Silver badge

          Re: Football Fields

          Olympic size swimming pools used to be eight lanes across until swimmers in the outer lanes (rightfully) complained they suffered more from waves returning from the sides. New Olympic sized swimming pools are now ten lanes wide and to keep the counting of the traditional eight as it was, the new lanes are numbered zero and nine.

          1. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

            Re: Football Fields

            >New Olympic sized swimming pools are now ten lanes wide and to keep the counting of the traditional eight as it was, the new lanes are numbered zero and nine

            An off-by-one error on both ends ?

            1. Already?

              Re: Football Fields

              Clearly it's a zero-based index of lanes, where Lane[0] and Lane[9] set Lane.IsEmptyOrNull() = true by default.

    4. BackToTheFuture
      Headmaster

      Re: Football Fields

      Well, assuming we're talking about a British soccer field (anything else is likely to be just a wannabee imitation), which according to Wiki can be between 90m and 120m long to meet the regs, so let's say 100m, and the length of a gummy bear (source Wiki again) is around 2cm, give or take a suck or two, this means a football field will be approx 5,000 gummy bears in length.

      Nice round number. Much tastier than"The Size of Wales".

      No gummy bears were harmed during the completion of this calculation.

      Afterwards though - Mmmmmmmm......chomp.....

    5. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Football Fields

      Not being into sports at all, I find that football* field is not really a tangible unit.

      If you were to mention it to me, all I can think of is PE lessons at school running back and forth trying to chase the ball in a muddy field in the middle of winter wearing shorts.... so as far as I'm concerned TOO BLOODY BIG! And if the weather was too bad, we had to go cross country running over heathland which we were told to avoid due to poisonous (vemonous?) snakes.

      * Limey, so talking soccer fields

    6. Rol Silver badge

      Re: Football Fields

      The standard football field is in fact nothing like standard enough to be used as a comparative dimension.

      It's width can vary from between 45 and 90 metres and its length between 90 and 120 metres, and still be classed as a FIFA standard pitch.

      The variance is so huge, that a trajectory to Mars measured in Turf Moor pitches and accomplished in Memorial Ground pitches would be at least several thousnad Main Road pitches short of reaching its destination.

      Thank God we have inches and centimetres, and NASA engineers capable of mashing them both together, as it would be a shame to blame FIFA for every space disaster.

      1. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

        Re: Football Fields

        > 45 and 90 metres and its length between 90 and 120 metres,

        So we could in theory have a square pitch?

        You could change ends every quarter

        1. Already?

          Re: Football Fields

          No. Square pitches are explicitly not allowed in the laws of the game. Pitches are also different sizes for different age groups, but the aspect ratio has to be maintained regardless of size.

          https://www.football-stadiums.co.uk/articles/are-all-football-pitches-the-same-size/

  4. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

    Stability of standards is essential. Thank goodness nobody has tried to eat Wales.

    1. MrBanana Silver badge
      Coat

      Eating Wales

      Isn't it the Japanese who eat wales - oh wait, I see my mistake.

      Mines the one with a big harpoon in the pocket.

      1. genghis_uk Silver badge
        Joke

        Re: Eating Wales

        Oh, it's a harpoon...

    2. Korev Silver badge
      Coat

      >Thank goodness nobody has tried to eat Wales.

      Meghan? Is that you?

      1. The Oncoming Scorn Silver badge
        Paris Hilton

        Meghan? Is that you?

        Camilla's had a damn good go over the years.

  5. sanmigueelbeer Silver badge
    Coat

    I presume no one has tried Haribo Sugar Free Gummy Bears before?

    (Hint: Read the reviews.)

  6. TimMaher Silver badge
    Trollface

    Hackers

    Aren’t the “Gummy Bears” some sort of Russian malware crew?

    1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge
      Thumb Up

      Re: Hackers

      Well, fancy that!

  7. jonha
    Mushroom

    the sheer deliciousness of gummy bears, Haribo or otherwise

    OTHERWISE?

    Oh the H E R E S Y!

    (Bah... worse than heresy. The Missus has seen this and has told me that El Reg is from now on FORBIDDEN!)

    1. DJV Silver badge

      Re: the sheer deliciousness of gummy bears, Haribo or otherwise

      Woohoo, I wouldn't want to be in your shoes when your Missus discovers you broke her rule in order to come and comment about it!

  8. J.G.Harston Silver badge

    Edibility is a flaw. Many many years ago I was buying some Jelly Babies in a store where you measure them yourself into the scales. I got to something like 105g, so picked one up to put back to get to 100g, and automatically popped it in my mouth.

    Do'h!

    So I picked another one to put back, and automatically popped it in my mouth.

    DOH!

    It took a strong effort of will to remove a jelly baby from the scales and put it back in the hopper.

    1. Spoonsinger
      Holmes

      and how Woolworths went bankrupt becomes all too clear.

      You fiend!

  9. heyrick Silver badge

    I see you still think linguine is 14cm...

    I demonstrate that this isn't the case on my blog, and introduce a more enjoyable unit of measurement, a popular chocolate confection named after a planet...

    1. Jan 0 Silver badge

      Re: I see you still think linguine is 14cm...

      There is nothing standard about Mars bar lengths, even 'though there is only one manufacturer.

      On occasion their length has changed to keep the price the same, at other times the marketing department changes the dimensions.

      1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

        Re: I see you still think linguine is 14cm...

        Not to mention that they have tiny ones in the Celebrations packs, packs of "fun size", so-called "standard" size", extra-large and then the smaller than standard in the "Duo" packs. Oh, the humanity!!

        1. heyrick Silver badge

          Re: I see you still think linguine is 14cm...

          It's fine. I'll eat them all...

          ( where's a Cookie Monster icon when you need one? )

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: I see you still think linguine is 14cm...

      Downvoted - only because the length of the chocolate bar is not constant. Over the years, confectionary has shrunk, also you could be refering to funsize, standard or the dual pack of Mars bars???

      Edited to add - oh, sod it, someone already posted something similar. My point still stands though!

      1. NXM

        Re: I see you still think linguine is 14cm...

        Seconded.

        I can remember Curly Wurlies being about four foot long when I was a kid, and they're tiny now. Nothing to do with me being bigger of course.

  10. Stuart Halliday
    Alien

    Is this the American Gummy or the British Gummy?

    1. TimMaher Silver badge
      Happy

      Brit or Yank?

      It’s the Russian gummy.

      See earlier post.

  11. Fruit and Nutcase Silver badge

    Money...

    I would like to propose the "(Dido) Harding" dH - handy to quantify billions of government waste. The Pogba unfortunately is too little these days.

    1. Fruit and Nutcase Silver badge
  12. FlippingGerman

    Brontosaurus

    I'm confused as to how a brontosaurus can be half the length of an aircraft carrier, generally several hundred metres long.

    1. Fruit and Nutcase Silver badge

      Re: Brontosaurus

      The BBC article has a graphic that shows the length of the carrier as 300m.

      That according to the standards converter is 13.64 brontosauruses (2142 linguine).

      The Devon Fatberg gives the nearest numerical reg unit value of 4.65

      Just wondering if there was a mixup in the original article with 2100 linguine being transcribed incorrectly and assigned to brontosaurus.

      1. Marco Fontani (Written by Reg staff)

        Re: Brontosaurus

        The original article introducing the Brontosaurus as a unit of measurement was flat-out wrong, and we fixed the converter in 2017-04-28.

        It used to be 987.751 linguine to a brontosaurus, but it's really only 157 linguine long, or 2.3842 double-decker buses long, or about 11 Osmans.

  13. chivo243 Silver badge
    Coat

    Gummy to Jub cup ratio?

    See title!

  14. GlenP Silver badge

    The Osman

    Or even the Osman, inducted into the Reg Standards Converter last year and named after the tallest human being ever filmed by a BBC camera.

    I know at least two former international rugby players who would dispute the last part of that statement.

    Martin Bayfield features regularly and is 6' 10", Richard Metcalfe (aka TooTall) was around 7' and would have been filmed playing for Scotland. I once stood next to the former in a bar, he was stooping and I still got a crick in my neck talking to him.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: The Osman

      >> Or even the Osman, inducted into the Reg Standards Converter last year and named after the tallest human being ever filmed by a BBC camera.

      > I know at least two former international rugby players who would dispute the last part of that statement.

      Yes, but that would be Pointless.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: The Osman

      the Osman was useful as it's the min distance you should be from Boris Johnson to prevent him shaking hands with you (or currently, bumping elbows)

  15. Mips
    Childcatcher

    Queen Elizabeth

    If you’re going to introduce a Queen Elizabeth unit of length then you need to be clear if this is QE1 or QE2. As we cannot be clear how big the QE1 would be but the QE2 is less nebulous (if possibly a bit shorter) so the question is how big is HMS Queen Elizabeth in QE2s?

  16. Relativehumility
    Coat

    One time in Australia I discovered that the distance from Melbourne to Sydney on my map was exactly one Vodaphone Mobile. Just thought I'd mention this

  17. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Deliciousness not a flaw...

    As anyone knows, you can measure length end to end, and then remove all but the first and last and still maintain the limits of your measurement. I'd advise against the 3-bear bunny hop measurement technique though as it only takes one mouthward hop to render the task incompletable.

  18. Sam_B.

    Regardless of edibility, the gummy bear is a useless unit of measurement as it is flexible so can be stretched or squashed to falsify measurements. The (uncooked) linguine has the proper attribute of not being variable in length, although as with the gummy bear a brand, country and possibly date of manufacture need to be included in the standard, as it has been pointed out that these may change the exact size. Luckily within normal (human bearable) temperature variations the Linguine is pretty stable.

    Is there a "standard" Linguine stored in stable conditions somewhere in the vaults deep below Reg central ?

    1. Nick Ryan Silver badge

      Is there a "standard" Linguine stored in stable conditions somewhere in the vaults deep below Reg central ?
      This is El'Reg... of course it is. It's stored in a locked filing cabinet stuck in a disused lavatory with a sign on the door saying ‘Beware of the Leopard'. Do not look at what is at the bottom of this cabinet.

  19. Just A Quick Comment

    Obsolete unit?

    How many Jelly Babies are there in a Gummy Bear? Yes, I know, it depends on how hungry the bear is...

  20. Not previously required
    Coat

    Desirability of standards

    Having standards is clearly very important to all of us, so I think we should have several that people can choose from.

    Lab coat to represent international bureau of variable standards - and hope they won't charge the exorbitant fees of the ISO

  21. Keith Oborn

    Even El Reg is guilty of ignoring prior art.

    As a physicist, I am well versed in the FFF (Furlong, Firkin, Fortnight) system

    A good unit if pressure is megapascals per barn (the unit of atomic cross-section). This is excellent as an example of a units system where the answer to any question is "not many". This makes for vastly simplified calculations.

    And where, pray, is the Smoot? After all, this is not only a universal standard, but also has a fully-maintained reference in Boston.

    1. Tim Bergel
      Thumb Up

      Re: Even El Reg is guilty of ignoring prior art.

      I would like to second the suggestion that the Smoot, a well established unit of length, is added to the accepted Reg standards.

  22. Blackjack Silver badge

    At least is not Toblerone chocolate bars

    That's a unit of measure that keeps shrinking.

  23. mevets Bronze badge

    A unit of height...

    We have used standard gummy bears as an indication of how high we are for years. 3 Gummies up is fairly incoherent.

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