Choose your fighter! March Mammal Madness pits poor, innocent critters against each other in mortal combat

Ever idly wonder if a marmot could bring down an ant-eater? Would a fox be foxed by a badger? Could a badger out-badger a fox? If these are among the questions keeping you awake at night, then March Mammal Madness is for you. What's March Mammal Madness? you say. Some kind of promotional discount offering two hippos for the …

[Blackjack]

So is kinda like Pokemon?

Only the "Pokemon" actually exist and learning about them gives you real education.

[Electronics'R'Us]

Re: So is kinda like Pokemon?

I thought a Pokémon was a Caribbean Proctologist.

[Precordial thump]

obligatory xkcd

https://xkcd.com/1628

[don't you hate it when you lose your account]

My cat

Game over

[John 110]

Re: My cat

Well, we'll just have to take off and nuke it from orbit...

[John Sager]

Reality is more interesting

I've got video of fox versus otter in our garden (search 'fox encounters otter' on YT). The result was inconclusive, but otter versus carp was as you would expect, a few pink scales...

[Howard Sway]

Sabre Toothed Tiger vs Chihuahua

Obviously it's a bit of an unfair contest, and all the kids will be able to predict the outcome, because sabre toothed tigers are extinct but chihuahuas are still around today, which means that the cute-but-dim minidogs must have finished off all the fanged felines in the distant past.

The theory of natural selection tells us that having exhausted their main food source, the chihuahuas themselves may have also gone extinct, and would have done had primitive humans not turned up soon after, bearing cans of dog food.

[Fruit and Nutcase]

Re: Sabre Toothed Tiger vs Chihuahua

Tag team time!

Sabre Toothed Tiger vs Chihuahua + Paris

https://nypost.com/2015/04/22/how-paris-hiltons-chihuahua-changed-the-world-forever/

[[e-mail]]

Re: Sabre Toothed Tiger vs Chihuahua

Yappyrat jumps in sabre-toothed tiger's mouth and lays there on its side for a few minutes, sabre-toothed tiger suffocates and yappyrat jumps out, the winner.

[tony2heads]

Honeybadger!

A somewhat smaller version of the wolverine, but with an anal gland with a suffocating smell

[John Sager]

Re: Honeybadger!

You aren't allowed to pit honey badgers against any other animal (it's a completely unfair contest whichever way you look at it), except certain classes of human. I know which classes I mean but you may have other ideas. Note that I'm classless...

[Throatwarbler Mangrove]

Re: Honeybadger!

Honey badger vs. mantis shrimp

[Throatwarbler Mangrove]

Sounds good, I'll start

Hippopotamus vs. Boris Johnson

[Mark 85]

Re: Sounds good, I'll start

Duel of the Titans.... Boris Johnson vs. Donald Trump.

[Fruit and Nutcase]

Re: Sounds good, I'll start

Depends if Boris has fully extricated himself from Trump - otherwise it will look like a dog chasing it's tail

[Fruit and Nutcase]

Baboon v Buffoon

Is that allowed?

[My-Handle]

Re: Sounds good, I'll start

This contest is open to mammals only, invertebrates need not apply.

Apart from the mantis shrimp, mainly because I don't want to tell him "no".

[gormful]

They had me at "Saber-toothed Anchovy".

[lglethal]

Please. We all know the winner will be...

... any Animal from Australia that takes part. They're all poisonous, dangerous and trying to eat you all the time. Other animals never stand a chance!

Icon for a Tassie Devil naturally!

[Robert Carnegie]

Are they only doing this virtually now then?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bear-baiting

and all that.

[Fruit and Nutcase]

Cockerel 1 Owner 0

"Indian man killed by his own bird during cockfight"

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-india-56224144"

[ICL1900-G3]

Re: Cockerel 1 Owner 0

Good.

[Arthur the cat]

kinda baboon

As opposed to a Kinder baboon that hatches from an egg?

[Irony Deficient]

As well as providing research, Amorim takes part himself

Pity about which part was taken — my first thought was wondering how well Dr. Amorim would do in battle against, say, a rhesus macaque.

[Michael Wojcik]

Re: As well as providing research, Amorim takes part himself

The Kirk vs Gorn match-up was pretty good.