back to article Linus Torvalds labels Super Bowl 'violent version of egg-and-spoon race'

Linus Torvalds has strongly suggested that next week will see the release of a new version of the Linux kernel, assuming nothing odd happens and testers don't watch too much footy on the telly. “This is hopefully the last rc for this release, unless some surprise comes along and makes a travesty of our carefully laid plans,” …

  1. Gene Cash Silver badge

    As an American, I can tell you some Super Bowl secrets

    If a team "goes for it" on fourth down and succeeds, the coach's Special Bar recharges all the way and he can unleash his Ultimate Combo

    There is a secret "fifth down" that can only be unlocked by a player wielding a piece of the True Cross

    And then it's time for the kick off! Touch your battlefoot to the Pain Ellipsoid and let the cycle of violence begin anew!

    This might be questionable content, however.

    1. theblackhand

      Re: As an American, I can tell you some Super Bowl secrets

      Can I offer you some broccoli?

    2. Morrie Wyatt

      Re: As an American, I can tell you some Super Bowl secrets

      "This might be questionable content, however."

      Why? What's Pintsize up to now?

      1. Fred Flintstone Gold badge

        Re: As an American, I can tell you some Super Bowl secrets

        For those who could not quite follow that comment, here is some help.

        :)

    3. jake Silver badge

      Re: As an American, I can tell you some Super Bowl secrets

      You forgot that cheating is not only allowed, it is encouraged .... and that the outcome is decided by the guys in the stripped shirts.

      1. Antron Argaiv Silver badge
        Thumb Up

        Re: As an American, I can tell you some Super Bowl secrets

        USAian here...never liked football. Too much testosterone for me.

        As to underinflated balls...sounds like a trip to the urologist is indicated :-)

        1. Sanguma
          Coat

          Re: As an American, I can tell you some Super Bowl secrets

          I always thought Bowl was a misspelling for Bowel but I could be wrong ... help me out, please - my leaves have drifted.

    4. HildyJ Silver badge
      Devil

      Re: As an American, I can tell you some Super Bowl secrets

      The secrets are that it exists to get drunk with friends, gamble, and further enrich wealthy people (the millionaire players and the billionaire owners).

      As for your description, I'd go for less eSports and more BattleBots.

    5. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: As an American, I can tell you some Super Bowl secrets

      I have always assumed that American Football is the US version of the Mornington Crescent game. As for violence, it's not exactly Aussie Rules - a game that seemed to be a heady mix of Rugby and bare knuckle fighting before they cleaned it up.

      1. Martin Silver badge
        Happy

        Re: As an American, I can tell you some Super Bowl secrets

        As for violence, it's not exactly Aussie Rules - a game that seemed to be a heady mix of Rugby and bare knuckle fighting before they cleaned it up.

        Ah yes - Aussie Rules football. They don't have sleeves on the shirts, as they'd only get ripped off.

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: As an American, I can tell you some Super Bowl secrets

        > it's not exactly Aussie Rules - a game that seemed to be a heady mix of Rugby and bare knuckle fighting before they cleaned it up.

        Wouldn't that be Calcio Fiorentino?

        With the caveat that sports are for playing, not watching, I would say that is one of the most noble team sports, where the players come, by and large, from their respective quarters of the city and they do not play for pay.

        The winning team's prize is a cow. Yes, an actual cow.

        Another advantage is that it's not very popular with sponsors.

        1. Sanguma

          Re: As an American, I can tell you some Super Bowl secrets

          Calcio Fiorentino! I'd always been interested in it, and finally got the opportunity to watch it on youtube.

          Well! There's a ball, a couple of teams, and an arena - not a paddock. I thought growing up learning League, Aussie Rules and Field Hockey in High School was rough. We were wimps.

    6. Sceptic Tank Bronze badge

      Re: As an American, I can tell you some Super Bowl secrets

      An old lady living in downtown Ga-Matjila can tell you this stuff. Tell us some real secrets.

    7. Disgusted Of Tunbridge Wells

      Re: As an American, I can tell you some Super Bowl secrets

      I'm not sure you can call it violence with all that body armour.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: As an American, I can tell you some Super Bowl secrets

        I have a son who took to rugby until he got to University and his instinct for self preservation finally kicked in, and it's been no small source of amusement to note his disdain for all the padding the US game required.

        :)

        1. Disgusted Of Tunbridge Wells
          Gimp

          Re: As an American, I can tell you some Super Bowl secrets

          You need a gumshield to protect your teeth (optional) and vaseline to protect your ears (optional, recommended for tight five).

          Anything more than that is just unreasonable.

        2. jake Silver badge

          Re: As an American, I can tell you some Super Bowl secrets

          It should be noted that the so-called "padding" in American Football is more akin to race-car body panels than feather bedding. When used (in)correctly it works more as an offensive weapon than any form of defense.

          Don't believe me? Try the sport once.

          1. Disgusted Of Tunbridge Wells

            Re: As an American, I can tell you some Super Bowl secrets

            A rugby teammates brother played American Football at Uni. He said it was hilarious because you could throw yourself around without it hurting in the slightest. His main sport was rugby too.

        3. Citizen99

          Re: As an American, I can tell you some Super Bowl secrets

          In rugby, in the scrum the tackle can sometimes be imperilled. In the old days, of course.

  2. Denarius Silver badge

    Never understood some names

    Why do some games get called football when mostly the egg or round thing is carried by runners who throw it mostly ? Why is a game consisting of getting sunburned standing around named after a nocturnal insect ?

    Why do some people loudly boast of "their team" when it is owned, usually, by Johnny Foreigner ?

    If the target object does not start moving at 160 kmh, it is boring to watch IMHO. Even then, I have better things to do. However, testing kernels is not one of them. As kernels get bigger, all I have noticed is linux sound on laptops, especially HPs, fails to work more often. Also getting harder to fix. Hardware that just worked 5 years or more ago now fails or required tedious fiddling down in ALSA or sysctl somewhere

    1. Fruit and Nutcase Silver badge

      Re: Never understood some names

      Hardware that just worked 5 years or more ago now fails or required tedious fiddling down in ALSA or sysctl somewhere

      I was tearing my hair out trying to fix a sound issue, and fiddling about in those very areas - finally gave up. Then about 18months later, it all started working again after an update

    2. jake Silver badge

      Re: Never understood some names

      Why do we park in the driveway and drive on the parkway?

      1. John Robson Silver badge

        Re: Never understood some names

        We park on the driveway, but vehicles aren't allowed in the park.

        To be fair far too many people park on the pavement (sidewalk), making life very difficult for those with wheelchairs or pushchairs...

        1. Nick Ryan Silver badge

          Re: Never understood some names

          Why do our feet smell and our noses run?

          1. Martin Silver badge

            Re: Never understood some names

            Why is it shipment in a car, but cargo in a ship?

        2. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

          Re: Never understood some names

          "We park on the driveway, but vehicles aren't allowed in the park."

          IIRC, the USA has Drive-Thru parks. So can visit but not do something so vulgar as walk.

          1. jake Silver badge

            Re: Never understood some names

            Like Longleat, then?

            1. Martin Silver badge
              Happy

              Re: Never understood some names

              To be fair, there are large parts of Longleat that you can walk round (including a particularly difficult maze!). And as for the bits you have to drive round - well, speaking personally, I'd be a bit wary about going for a stroll near a bunch of lions.

    3. Old Used Programmer Silver badge

      Re: Never understood some names

      Plus all the "players" are paid vastly more that the typical fan, work only half the year, and don't live anywhere near the nominal location of the "team". And for that matter, the "home" place of play is unlikely to be located in the city the "team" is supposedly named for.

    4. Kane Silver badge
      Alien

      Re: Never understood some names

      "Why is a game consisting of getting sunburned standing around named after a nocturnal insect ?"

      Racial memory, although the spelling has become corrupted over time.

      1. Kane Silver badge
        Coat

        Re: Never understood some names

        Why the thumbs down?

        Ahh, I forgot, if I don't mark it as a joke, someone thinks I'm being serious...

        Poe's Law in action? Maybe. Or maybe I'm just not funny.

        Icon related, mines the one with the list of copy 'n' paste wiki articles in the pocket.

    5. John Robson Silver badge

      Re: Never understood some names

      Because they are all derivates (some are improvements) on what is now known as association football.

      Doesn't take too deep a dig into the history of Rugby Football to realise that the only way to score used to be by kicking the ball - getting it over the touch line used to give you a "try" at kicking a goal (just because association football uses the underside of the bar, doesn't stop virtually every other variant using the space above it).

    6. Mark 153

      Re: Never understood some names

      Is, by all accounts, because all forms of football are played on foot, rather than on a horse. So, not polo. Named by the posh.

      It's like how infantry regiments were Duke of Northumberland's Third Regiment of Foot, or whatever.

      1. ThatOne Silver badge
        Coat

        Re: Never understood some names

        > Duke of Northumberland's Third Regiment of Foot

        Wouldn't it rather be "Duke of Northumberland's Third Regiment of Feet"?

        1. jake Silver badge

          Re: Never understood some names

          No. The term "foot" had the meaning of "infantry" when that was established.

          1. ThatOne Silver badge
            Happy

            Re: Never understood some names

            > The term "foot" had the meaning of "infantry" when that was established.

            I know, you missed the joke icon... Thanks nevertheless.

      2. Fred Dibnah

        Re: Never understood some names

        In that case, hockey, tennis, squash, and <insert name of favourite ball game here> are all forms of football.

        That's just not cricket.

    7. Wenlocke

      Re: Never understood some names

      The one that really confuses non-merkins is the franchise system. Why exactly can your local team up sticks and move to a completely different city in a different state?

      1. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

        Re: Never understood some names

        In the UK it's much more sensible, keep the team in the same northern city but move the ownership between Gulf states and leave all the fans in India

        1. ThatOne Silver badge
          Coat

          Re: Never understood some names

          > In the UK it's much more sensible, keep the team in the same northern city but move the ownership between Gulf states and leave all the fans in India

          Nah, that's simply outsourcing.

      2. Zimmer
        Joke

        Re: Never understood some names - MK Dons

        ...it's already happened this side of the pond, for goodness sake! Have you not heard of Wimbledon moving to Milton Keynes? ( I reckon a lot of people living in Wimbledon at the time didn't notice until they got off the train from work to find themselves in Bedfordshire, surrounded by concrete cows .)

        ..were there an extra 'coat' icon mine would be the one with the AFC Wimbledon badge... :)

        1. Disgusted Of Tunbridge Wells

          Re: Never understood some names - MK Dons

          Did you know that Wimbledon very nearly moved to Dublin and were going to remain in the English Premier League?

          But apparently all the Irish teams were against it, the Irish FA, UEFA and FIFA.

          1. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

            Re: Never understood some names - MK Dons

            Mönchengladbach's attempt to move to Krakow also failed for similar reasons

        2. Adelio Silver badge

          Re: Never understood some names - MK Dons

          Do not forget that once winbeldon moved another winbledon got formed in it's place.

          1. Ol'Peculier

            Re: Never understood some names - MK Dons

            That's the problem with teams in the plural zones, when one is destroyed, another, near-identical one can pop up in its place...

        3. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Never understood some names - MK Dons

          probably the most shamful thing in English FA history allowing that to happen. MK Dons is the only team that has ever made me support Man Utd when Man U played them in the FA cup a few years ago!

      3. This post has been deleted by its author

      4. jake Silver badge

        Re: Never understood some names

        "Why exactly can your local team up sticks and move to a completely different city in a different state?"

        Because it's not really "my" local team, it belongs wholly to the ownership group.

        Likewise, "we" didn't win. Rather, the team won for their masters in Los Vegas and Atlantic City, usually with a lot of help from the officials.

        1. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

          Re: Never understood some names

          >Because it's not really "my" local team, it belongs wholly to the ownership group.

          What you need in America is more sectarian hatred

          Have you tried having historically Catholic and Protestant football team in each city?

          That can build extremely strong brand loyalty over centuries

          1. jake Silver badge

            Re: Never understood some names

            No, thank you. We're trending down in the religion department here in the US (and all the hatred that comes with it). Most of us would like to see it stay that way.

    8. vtcodger Silver badge

      Re: Never understood some names

      Hardware that just worked 5 years or more ago now fails or required tedious fiddling ...

      I believe that is called entropy or maybe enthalpy although some people seem to think that it is progress. (Progress? ... Indeed ...Toward what possible objective?)

    9. Ken Hagan Gold badge

      Re: Never understood some names

      "If the target object does not start moving at 160 kmh, it is boring to watch IMHO."

      Hurling? Ice hockey? Golf? Do tell!

      1. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

        Re: Never understood some names

        Kestrel shooting, it's like clay pigeon shooting but faster

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    It's all homoerotic crap.

    A bunch of guys called "tight ends", "wide receivers", "fullback", "halfback", "quarterback", & "rushers" wearing silly costumes & comicly oversized crotch protectors running around grunting & shoving & slapping each other on the ass & getting all hot & sweaty slamming their chests together like a bunch of rutting moose scrambling around after an inflated rubber balloon shaped like someone's large intestine to try & run it over an arbitrary line or kick it over a tall stick while the fans get shitfaced drunk & scream themselves stupid. Oh and the scantily clad cheerleaders shake their pompoms to try & get the crowd even more riled up. Plus the occaisional commercial that may or may not be amusing.

    I'd rather go reformat my computer & reinstal Windows ME.

    1. 759b954e-617b-408b-a2b1-f5a42c3688d4
      Pint

      Re: It's all homoerotic crap.

      Oh my. There aren't enough upvotes in the world.

    2. jake Silver badge

      Re: It's all homoerotic crap.

      Not that there is anything wrong with that, of course.

      And gw'an, admit it, you're secretly titillated ... or so your lovingly written commentary would suggest.

      1. Ken Moorhouse Silver badge

        Re: I'd rather go reformat my computer & reinstal Windows ME.

        That's a bit like Kafka ending a book with "...and they all lived happily ever after."

        1. Denarius Silver badge
          Coffee/keyboard

          Re: I'd rather go reformat my computer & reinstal Windows ME.

          ROFLMAO, to wifes annoyance. Years since I read Kafka, Thank $Deity

    3. NATTtrash
      Pint

      Re: It's all homoerotic crap.

      ..."wearing silly costumes & comicly oversized crotch protectors..."

      I'd rather go reformat my computer & reinstal Windows ME.

      Hmmm. Rather watch some real sports in stead of its over-padded copy with hand cream using gentlemen who are afraid they hurt themselves...

      Six Nations Wales vs. Ireland this weekend for example. And the good thing? Next weekend we will have even more. Looking forward to Scotland vs. Wales. Sad though that I can't watch it in my favourite watering hole. Bloody virus...

      1. John Robson Silver badge

        Re: It's all homoerotic crap.

        "Sad though that I can't watch it in my favourite watering hole. Bloody virus..."

        Not the expletive we've been using to describe it, but that's by the by...

        Thank you for not, and for not joining a bunch of other people in someone's house either.

      2. Jonathon Green

        Re: It's all homoerotic crap.

        I tend to go with Ernest Hemingway on sports, although I’m opposed to Bullfighting, Mountaineering isn’t spectator friendly, and the only pure form of motor racing is closed-road motorcycle road racing...

        1. Ol'Peculier

          Re: It's all homoerotic crap.

          I'd say the WRC is up there too. But as I live about 400 metres from one of the corners on England's only mainland public road race circuit I won't disagree too much...

          1. Jonathon Green

            Re: It's all homoerotic crap.

            So how’s the weather today in Scarborough...?

          2. John Jennings Silver badge

            Re: It's all homoerotic crap.

            I used to live on Station Road, Portstewart, next to York corner as a student. The we used to give tea and buns to the medic team stationed in our driveway during the North West 200 week.

            Great times.... It is unfortunate that closed road motorbike racing is a bit Darwinian - if you are good, you are sooner or later dead.

            1. Ol'Peculier

              Re: It's all homoerotic crap.

              Unfortunately a couple of years ago you stood more chance of being injured here if you were a spectator. Fortunately a lot more safety measures have been put in place since. I don't go very often but can hear the commentary from my flat...

              1. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

                Re: It's all homoerotic crap.

                Great serious of youtube talks by the doctor for the TT race (*)

                "at scene of accident count the number of bikes, then look for that number of casualties"

                * Later killed in a bike racing accident

            2. jake Silver badge

              Re: It's all homoerotic crap.

              "if you are good, you are sooner or later dead."

              You are sooner or later dead anyway. Wouldn't it be nice to be good at something first? Will you ever know the answer to that question?

      3. Potemkine! Silver badge

        Re: It's all homoerotic crap.

        Six Nations Wales vs. Ireland this weekend for example

        Despite its best effort, Wales wasn't able to lose vs an Irish team reduced to 14.

        How a team which won the Tournament two years ago has gone to play such an awful way, with the same players?

        1. This post has been deleted by its author

        2. jake Silver badge

          Re: It's all homoerotic crap.

          "How a team which won the Tournament two years ago has gone to play such an awful way, with the same players?"

          Follow the money. And there is a LOT of it involved. They are even broadcasting Six Nations live here in the US ... on the Basic Dish Network package.

          ::shrugs::

    4. Denarius Silver badge

      Re: It's all homoerotic crap.

      Still not enough for me to miss EDS short ads. The Herding Cats one is a classic

    5. MJI Silver badge

      Re: It's all homoerotic crap.

      And how would they have coped with a low flying Jonah Lomu?

      1. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

        Re: It's all homoerotic crap.

        >And how would they have coped with a low flying Jonah Lomu?

        The Americans ?, obviously

    6. Michael Wojcik Silver badge

      Re: It's all homoerotic crap.

      I read this story and realized I'd missed the Super Bowl! Got caught up in the bathroom remodel and completely forgot about it.

      That makes more than 50 of the things I've missed in a row. My superfan status is in jeopardy.

  4. cjcox

    Answering the subject line....

    But also recommended Hockey as the way of peace.

    1. jake Silver badge

      Re: Answering the subject line....

      Of course. Hockey is the One True Sport, eh.

      1. IGotOut Silver badge

        Re: Answering the subject line....

        I presume you mean proper hockey, not ice skating with padding?

        1. MJI Silver badge

          Re: Answering the subject line....

          Saw some ice hockey on TV had a couple of older skaters having a go with a bunch of toddlers.

          Show finished with them ice dancing on a lake to Bolero

          1. jake Silver badge

            Re: Answering the subject line....

            I dated a Canadian gal when I was at Berkeley. I decided to surprise her with ice dancing lessons[0]. The visiting fru-fru instructor tried to kick me out for wearing my hockey skates ... until she and I took a couple turns around the rink ...

            [0] At Palo Alto's Winter Lodge, where I learned to skate ... Recommended.

    2. Ken Moorhouse Silver badge

      Re: But also recommended Hockey as the way of peace.

      That made me wonder: How many death certificates mention "hockey" in the cause of death box?

      1. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

        Re: But also recommended Hockey as the way of peace.

        >How many death certificates mention "hockey" in the cause of death box?

        In Canada it's "natural causes"

        Seriously they want to end fighting in under 16 leagues. Political correctness gone mad

        1. jake Silver badge

          Re: But also recommended Hockey as the way of peace.

          "Political correctness gone mad"

          What do you mean "gone"? The entire PC phenomena is mad, has been mad, and always will be mad, by definition.

          What most people don't know is that fighting in Hockey is self defense against assholes. Tell those under-16s to fight for their right to defend themselves!

          1. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

            Re: But also recommended Hockey as the way of peace.

            In liberal pussy Canada you aren't even allowed guns on the ice.

            You can duel with Zambonis like real men

  5. Michael Hoffmann
    Happy

    If NFL...

    ... is a "violent egg-and-spoon race" what would he make of Rugby of Aussie Rules Footy?

    No wussy protective armour, no 60 second commercials after every 15 second game play, fair play is if somebody helps you pick up your own teeth after a bit of a collision.

    1. ssharwood

      Re: If NFL...

      It’s been a while since I saw rugby union flow for more than 15 seconds.

      1. Charlie Clark Silver badge

        Re: If NFL...

        Stick to league: better to watch, better to play, which is, of course, why the toffs wanted to ban it.

        1. 2+2=5 Silver badge

          Re: If NFL...

          > Stick to league: better to watch...

          I've never understood why a tackled player needs to flap like a fish out of water before getting up?

          1. Disgusted Of Tunbridge Wells

            Re: If NFL...

            I believe it's because he's pretending he's being held down by the defender ( which he is ), because he wants the referee to give a penalty and therefore go back to the first of six.

        2. Disgusted Of Tunbridge Wells
          Paris Hilton

          Re: If NFL...

          Everybody stop there's been a tackle. Bollocks.

        3. ssharwood

          Re: If NFL...

          Better to watch: agree. Am NRL tragic. Rise Yeasts!

          Better to play: league is brutal. It's all front-on and non-stop and IMHO tends to favour a narrower set of body sizes and shapes. I didn't enjoy it as much as I enjoyed Union. Also have busted nose and messed-up sinuses to show for my very short League flirtation.

      2. John Jennings Silver badge

        Re: If NFL...

        Should have watched Ireland v wales at the weekend. The final play lasted 6 minutes (3 in extra time) and was (almost) one of the great comebacks for any team a man down.

        I understand Wales once played France which had a 22 minute play for France- 20 in extra time - (amazing considering one half is 40 minutes!)

        I am sure some advertisers would have had a canary if that was a rule at the superbawl.

        1. Disgusted Of Tunbridge Wells

          Re: If NFL...

          I can't remember who was playing but I vaguely remember watching a game that got to almost 105 minutes maybe a year ago.

          ( Rugby union keeps playing after the time is up until the ball goes out of play - either by literally by going out of play, or a try/dropgoal/penalty is scored or if there's a knock-on )

        2. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

          Re: If NFL...

          "amazing considering one half is 40 minutes!"

          Which begs another question about American Football. If they spend so much time standing around doing nothing, why is it played in 4 quarters? Do they get tired and need three breaks during the game?

          Personally it seems more like chess than a sport to me. All strategy and set moves. BattleChess maybe?

      3. Adelio Silver badge

        Re: If NFL...

        But at least there are no commercials between each play!

        America "football" just seems like an excuse for commercials with a little game played inbetween.

        How else do you end up with a 60 minute game lasting 3 hours.

        I would take english rules football or Rugby (either league) in preference.

        I still wince thinking about when ITV were broadcasting F1 and they had to cutaway for commericals in the middle of a critical part of the race. O.M.D. Did we shout at the TV.

        1. jake Silver badge

          Re: If NFL...

          But who cares? F1 has been nothing but follow-the-leader for decades. Seriously, had anything changed when they came back from the commercial break? I didn't think so.

          Come to think of it, F1 is one huge commercial for multiple products, isn't it? Does the best product placement equate to the head of the line? Just asking ...

    2. Unicornpiss Silver badge
      Meh

      Re: If NFL...

      This is why I like hockey better. There is violence, but it's understood that there will be and there are unwritten codes of conduct that are followed when beating on your opponent. And there is constant action unlike football where the game stops after every play.

      1. IGotOut Silver badge

        Re: If NFL...

        See above comment regards Hockey.

        I presume you mean proper hockey?

        1. PhilBuk

          Re: If NFL...

          Would that be Shinty?

          1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge
            Coat

            Re: If NFL...

            No, Shinty is two battle groups armed with cudgels that incidently seems to involve a small ball on occasions.

    3. Shadow Systems

      Re: If NFL...

      Aussie rules Rugby is too tame & peaceful. I like truely violent games with lots of bloodshed, grievous injuries, medics that use overpowered cattle prods to separate the combatants, have to LifeFlight out the survivors, and end up with such massive scores like 2 to 0...

      You know, games like Hand Grenade Hackysack!

      *Explodes in sarcasm*

  6. cornetman Silver badge

    If you want to watch some proper sport, then there is the 6 nations.

    Just watched Wales and Ireland. A very close, exciting game interrupted a lot by streaming problems. :(

    1. John Robson Silver badge

      Not that this helps you at all, but there were no streaming issues at all here - crisp footage throughout.

      ISP or home network?

      1. cornetman Silver badge

        Most likely it would have been something related to our VPN. The only way we can really get to see it live here in Canada. We would have usually have gone to a pub streaming it, but that's not really an option at the moment.

  7. CAPS LOCK

    'Merkin football? I'll stick with...

    ...Mornington Crescent. (International Rules, natch.)

    1. Charlie Clark Silver badge
      Coat

      Re: 'Merkin football? I'll stick with...

      But which version of the international rules? Remember the convention of 1994 was never fully ratified, so it's still not clear whether direction on the Circle line varies according to the hemisphere… and when the pubs open!

  8. Binraider Bronze badge

    Infuriating as the stoppages for commercials are; I'm surprised there aren't more fans of the game here, what with it being highly strategic and stats driven when you get past the marketing gloss. That said, last night was hardly a "game"; mostly a function of injuries meaning one side was out of the running before kick off.

    An old copy of Avalon Hill's Statis Pro Football comes highly recommended.

  9. Howard Sway

    violent version of egg-and-spoon race

    No, it's a wussy, interminably slow version of the only properly exciting oval ball game, Rugby League.

    No body armour required, fast moving play without big pauses, skill and guile rather than just brute force, it is magnificent, although its switch to Summer games really spoiled it for us fans of the old 80 minute mudfights in hail-lashed Pennine milltowns.

    1. Charlie Clark Silver badge
      Thumb Up

      Re: violent version of egg-and-spoon race

      You are Eddie Waring and I want my £5!

    2. ChrisElvidge

      Owdham Edge - site of Oldhams RL "scraps"

      But now the game has changed, you see

      You can't play dirty on TV

    3. Ol'Peculier

      Re: violent version of egg-and-spoon race

      Once covered a game at Bradford's Odsal Stadium (where getting from the pitch to the exit was like climbing Mount Everest) and had a pint at the Top House afterwards where some of the players were throwing passes to some of the locals. Don't get that in the Premier League...

  10. Charlie Clark Silver badge

    Apocryphal anecdote

    Who'd have thought that the structure of an American sport would be dictated by TV?

    This is probably apocryphal but when the football world cup was due to be hosted in the US, there reports that the TV networks were demanding that the games be split into quarters to allow for more advertising. Then they discovered extra-time and the extra advertising opportunities that offered.

    1. BeefEater

      Re: Apocryphal anecdote

      Not so apocryphal in my case.

      Back in 1988 (I think) I was in a hotel bar in Baltimore and there was an Olympic Ice Hockey game on the box. I wasn't really watching it until I heard the commentator apologising to the audience for missing a goal (if that is the right word) because the broadcaster was showing an advert.

      His apology was along the lines of - we are sorry that we are not empowered to stop the olympics while we show adverts. I was stunned. I think that the game probably involved the USA team as I got the impression that only such games were shown.

      1. MJI Silver badge

        Re: Apocryphal anecdote

        Seen similar on ITV F1 coverage 1997 Hungary GP, Damon Hill in an Arrows overtook Michael Shumacher.

        During the adverts!

        1. jake Silver badge

          Re: Apocryphal anecdote

          What a cad! How dare he overtake? It's just not F1. Was there a stewards inquiry?

      2. jake Silver badge

        Re: Apocryphal anecdote

        That is one of many reasons that viewing numbers for the Olympics have plummeted here in the US. They are broadcasting to the schedule of the advertisers, not the sport.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Apocryphal anecdote

      "Who'd have thought that the structure of an American sport would be dictated by TV?"

      Shirley nobody who has been to (non-televised) high-school football games and discovered that they're also broken apart into four quarters. Oh, and that structure existed since before the NFL had TV contracts.

      1. jake Silver badge

        Re: Apocryphal anecdote

        "(non-televised) high-school football games"

        You must be one of those heretics who live outside Texas.

    3. Sanguma
      Joke

      Re: Apocryphal anecdote

      the games be split into quarters to allow for more advertising.

      No, they wanted the players split into quarters, at 25c a quarter ... cheaper that way.

  11. Jay 2

    As someone from the right bank of the pond I can more-or-less follow a game of American Football. The thing that irks me most is that for a game that has a "game time" (for want of a better description) of an hour it takes around three-four hours to actually play. Quite if it's the ~20 second of action and stop and/or the ad breaks that cause this I'm not sure. Unfortunately this does make trying to watch a game an exercise in tedium.

    Still, at least it's not as bad a baseball (yes, coming from someone who can vaguely stand the shorter forms of cricket) and basketball. Not as good as ice hockey though!

    1. Nick Ryan Silver badge

      There are reasons why "College" American Football is much more popular as a spectator sport. Largely because by the time game finishes one can still remember the start of the game due to it not being stopped every 10 seconds for an advert.

      1. jake Silver badge

        Nah, College ball is more popular for one reason, and one reason only: There are more games to bet on.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Baseball has got to be the dullest game EVER. I love cricket in all forms and decided to watch a baseball game on Eurosport a few years ago, feck me never again. Basically it was pitcher throws, batsman misses, repeat 3 times, batsman walks off. New batsman, repeat.

      1. jake Silver badge

        As a guy who enjoys both cricket and baseball, I think I can safely say that it is a lack of understanding of the nuances of either sport that would cause a fan of one to find the other boring.

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      If you think NFL game time is bad, try watching NBA games. I swear the last 20 seconds can take an hour if the game is close.

    4. Sanguma
      Joke

      It's all the bally stop-work meetings. There's a similar problem with Rugby Union - stop-work meetings over this-and-that. next thing you know, it'll be a violent blood sport like croquet or golf, and then it'll graduate to the ultra-violence of crocheting and knitting!!!

      Ice Hockey, Aussie Rules, Hurling and Gaelic Football - all the gentle slow-paced codes ... I'm a very gentle, very fragile person, and those are the only ones slow and gentle enough for the likes of me ... :)

  12. Fruit and Nutcase Silver badge
    Joke

    Test Cricket and the Linux Kernel

    I think it is fair to say that Linus is probably not an avid follower of Test Cricket. With matches scheduled for what would amount to be half the time for a Linux kernel merge window, Linux kernel release cycles would grind to a halt every time there was match on.

    1. Adelio Silver badge

      Re: Test Cricket and the Linux Kernel

      I can watch a bit of cricket, mainly internationals. Again they do not have commercials every 10 seconds.

      1. Sanguma

        Re: Test Cricket and the Linux Kernel

        I got told off once for body-line bowling! And all I was doing was bowling, not throwing! Sheesh! Some umpires!!!

    2. jake Silver badge

      Re: Test Cricket and the Linux Kernel

      As a Yank, a sometime kernel developer, and a follower of Cricket, I have often thought about this very issue. All I can surmise is that there isn't very much kernel input from countries with a strong tradition in Test Cricket. Sad, that.

      1. richardcox13

        Re: Test Cricket and the Linux Kernel

        But India Business Machines?

        Admittedly the Indian's prefer the limit overs versions, but still they do plat tests.

  13. ThatOne Silver badge
    Pint

    Sue me

    I like Gridiron football. I actually like the fact it is structured along precise, highly strategic phases, and not just the spectacle of beefy men running after each other. Yes, there are too many ads, but well, many Super Bowl ads are actually fun too watch. (Yes, I did watch it yesterday evening, and did enjoy it).

    On the contrary I'm bored to death by European football, and mildly confused by rugby. What can I say, except "De gustibus non disputandum est"?

    1. Disgusted Of Tunbridge Wells

      Re: Sue me

      What's there to be confused about by rugby?

      Throw the ball backwards, run forwards, don't touch the ball if you're on the floor. if there's a tackle, get behind the back foot. If your team kicks it, wait to be overtaken by the kicker.*

      There is no finer way to spend a Saturday afternoon than with your head under a hooker's chest, followed by fifteen or so pints of Guinness.

      * Basically. It's not *that* complicated

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Sue me

        TBF the infringements in Ruger Bugger have got a bit of a joke! You can be pulled up for pretty much nothing and a penalty even just inside your own half can quite easily be kicked, meaning a 2 point score for not much of an infringement! It can land up being nearly as stop start as American catch

        1. Disgusted Of Tunbridge Wells

          Re: Sue me

          There points for a converted penalty btw.

          I agree about that though and I think kicking tees should be banned in order to reduce the value of a "kickable" penalty.

          Endless kicked penalties aren't as much of a problem below international level fortunately.

    2. jake Silver badge

      Re: Sue me

      Sadly, TheGreatUnwashed no longer receive a Classical education, and thus can't understand the thrust of your message. Sad, that.

      Upvoted.

  14. Alistair
    Windows

    sprots on teebee

    all boring.

    What you want to watch is junior open league lacrosse.

    Makes league hockey players look like wimps.

    1. jake Silver badge

      Re: sprots on teebee

      Lacrosse is like hockey ... but in super-slow motion.

  15. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    The "Super DULL" A game that relies on more hype and other bullshite than actual sport

  16. Blackjack Silver badge

    Eh, great way to offend the USA

    Insulting the Superbowl is the equivalent of p$ssing on the Queen's carpet.

    What a naughty dog.

    1. jake Silver badge

      Re: Eh, great way to offend the USA

      If the Queen doesn't want her carpet pissed on, why does she have corgis?

  17. nxnwest

    The Real Point of Football

    Is to make the public pay for your stadium through taxes and still collect concession fees at non-football events. The stadium where the Super Bowl took place, Raymond James, actually did this. I mean WHY should admission prices actually pay for the cost of the venue? It's a race to the bottom

    One thing I've never ever bought is merch. I'll take your t-shirt if you pay me to wear it. Advertising costs money.

  18. FrankeeD

    George F Will's take on American Football

    “Football combines two of the worst things in American life. It is violence punctuated by committee meetings.”

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