Come, chant with us over a sacrificial goat and predict 2021's biggest tech stories to a high degree of accuracy

This time last year, it would have been a simple matter to predict that the world's supply chain would be disrupted for all things tech, and that it would not be Trump who did it, but a sudden, unexpected pandemic that impacted every aspect of our working and personal lives. Right, Gartner? So what does 2021 hold for tech's big …

[Korev]

Love it!

A pint for Rupert -->

[Anonymous Coward]

Brilliant!

Still, given 2020, wouldn't 2021 predictions demand the sacrifice of a bull?

[Michael Wojcik]

I think you're off by a couple orders of magnitude. Use the whole hecatomb.

[Steve K]

Seconded!

Brand it "Goatner" and I'd sign up

[Warm Braw]

Re: Seconded!

Your goat-too source of capricious ruminations.

[Captain Hogwash]

Goat

Seems a bit of a stretch to me.

[Doctor Syntax]

Re: Seconded!

Dammit!

[chivo243]

Re: Seconded!

Really, that is quite good, now I need to wipe the tea out of my beard and mustache, just missed the keyboard!

[Blackjack]

Microsoft rolls out a new GUI or Theme

Gets accused of copying a popular Linux distribution, people download Classic Shell to get the old look back since is faster. A small minority defends the new look and accuses Linux of cloning it despite being the other way around. Then Microsoft rolls a new update so terrible most people stop talking about Windows new paint job and talk about the new update instead.

[Pascal Monett]

Brilliant !

A fine bite for the Vultures :)

[Dr_N]

Zunograph

WOoT!

Alternatively a GramoZune would be a great xmas gift for 2021.

[chivo243]

Re: Zunograph

85-minute battery life. Simply awesome, exactly what we need while working from home. Every hour on the hour, charge it up baby!

[Chris G]

If Google

Truly shut down, then Faecebook would expand exponentially into a slime breathing, IQ sucking behemoth that will try to take over every aspect of people's lives, nuke it from space now!

[Robert Moore]

Re: If Google

You say that like Facebook isn't already "a slime breathing, IQ sucking behemoth that will ... take over every aspect of people's lives"

[b0llchit]

Great Sigh Of Relief

Google and other Big Tech will probably shut down when most of the workforce unionises. The little wage-slaves are not to be trusted and must be sent a message. Better to shut them out by closing shop than to listen to the demands of a fair workplace and fair pay. Who the hell do these slaves think they are.

[Fruit and Nutcase]

Apple

Whatever Rupert has been smoking (same as Steve Jobs?), there is no prediction on The Register getting back on Apple's good books

[cookieMonster]

Re: Apple

Oh, there is, right after satan finishes building his new snow palace

[Fruit and Nutcase]

Apple TV

practically overnight, the company exhausts its petty cash on developing another Apple TV iteration

[Danny Boyd]

Marvelous!

Just... marvelous!

[4whatitsworth]

I for one would welcome the Great Sigh Of Relief.

[deadlockvictim]

Microsoft Watch

You forgot to mention the upgrade cycle that causes it to be unavailable for almost a day and to make sure that 32GB is always free on it even though everything on the phone is stored up in the Cloud somewhere.

[Roger Kynaston]

So what about

The other antisocial media giants. Does Twitter implement IP over Avian Carriers (coo!)? Reddit diversifies into a new delivery platform using cellulose derivatives . The idea that TikTok relocates to Switzerland would be just cuckoo.

Does Alibaba launch a new open source operating system called OpenSesame?

[slimshady76]

You obviously left Facebook out of this..

... because you have already been assimilated.

Mine is the one with the tinfoil hat in the inner left pocket.