back to article Microsoft celebrates undead MS Paint with festive knitwear

Microsoft has once again unleashed some iffy knitwear on the world with an MS Paint-themed sweater to ring in the festive season. The company previously flung Windows XP and 95 incarnations at its favoured fans (we note Vulture Central has remained jumper-free) but the MS Paint version is the first to be sold to the general …

  1. wolfetone Silver badge

    I prefer the £7.99 branded Lidl christmas jumper really.

    1. Dwarf Silver badge


      The big question - will you still fit into the Lidl jumper after Christmas or will you need a bigger one ?

    2. MiguelC Silver badge
  2. Dave K Silver badge


    I presume there'll be a couple of dead flies and possibly a cockroach included in the packaging? After all, it wouldn't be a true Microsoft product without a few unexpected bugs.

    Maybe also make the neck holes square as well so that they look "more modern".


    1. Steve Davies 3 Silver badge

      Re: cockroach

      A live one naturally. After all, they can survive a load of radiation so a bit of MS wool (being pulled over their eyes) will be child play won't it?

    2. Sgt_Oddball Silver badge

      Re: Packaging

      No, surely it'd be moths. Bugs busy making holes in the product over time.

    3. logicalextreme Silver badge

      Re: Packaging

      I was going to make a remark about "unexpected bugs" in a Microsoft product till I saw the icon.

  3. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge


    Not wishing to question fluid gender identities in a post #me2 era but ....

    The gentlemen at the back might be in the wrong photo shoot

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: GirlsWhoCode

      Don't worry about him - he ticks the "Ethnic" box, so is excused.

      1. needmorehare

        Re: GirlsWhoCode

        Perhaps he had his PE excuse in hand and it worked a little too well...

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: GirlsWhoCode

      Aha! There was me wondering what was up with the 'tache on that lassie.

    3. BrownishMonstr

      Re: GirlsWhoCode

      One has to ask what sexual assault/harassment has to do with gender fluidity.

      But, yes, why. Maybe his penis was too long so, as per NTFS and FAT32, had to be cut and stored elsewhere (for, er, backwards compatibility*).

      *ahem. Gives a whole new meaning to backwards compatibility.

      1. logicalextreme Silver badge

        Re: GirlsWhoCode

        Huh. Imagine having to sit through a defrag just as things had gotten spicy.

        "I swear it's never happened before! Honestly, it's usually ext4 but I had too much to drink and reformatted…no, don't go!"

  4. chivo243 Silver badge

    Just stop

    There is already too much crappy clothing out there... it all takes lots of resources, what a waste.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Just stop

      There is already too much crappy clothing Microsoft software out there... it all takes lots of resources, what a waste.

      I agree. I think that's proven by the fact that they want to remove mspaint, but keep the .NET/overly-bloated other thing (Photo 3D or something... nobody cares). Then again, maybe they need room to install yet another .NET runtime.

      1. logicalextreme Silver badge

        Re: Just stop

        No .NET runtimes needed anymore! Just half a gig of DLLs bundled with the executable.

  5. RM Myers Silver badge

    $69.99 seems to be a reasonable amount

    to pay to be allowed to not wear the sweater.

    What? That's the amount to be allowed to wear the ugly sweater? Ah, well, ah, I'll pass.

  6. Howard Sway Silver badge

    with only sizes for the larger fanboi available

    Far be it from me to suggest that this may be the only size required for this demographic.

    Talking of demo graphics, why isn't there a service available yet where you can do your own custom design on a simple Paint style grid and have it auto knitted for you on a machine? This would be easy : after all punched cards were originally developed for the Jacqard loom and subsequently made their way into the computer industry by way of Babbage.

    I'd get an Ada Lovelace / Charles Babbage one done and out-geek the lot of you.

    1. Robert Carnegie Silver badge

      Re: with only sizes for the larger fanboi available

      Searched for (computer design sweater)

      I think this is one:

      Other cases design the *shape* of a sweater. Apparently. Do they actually have shapes?

    2. BrownishMonstr

      Re: with only sizes for the larger fanboi available

      MS paint has lost functionality when the ribbon was introduced, replaced with stuff for amateurs. Yes the application was for amateurs, but you were able to do quite a bit with it, like setting the page colour.

      1. logicalextreme Silver badge

        Re: with only sizes for the larger fanboi available

        To be fair, it's now great for what I mostly use it for — cropping and saving. It's even been defaulting to lossless PNG for a while rather than BMP, or JPEG at the "mutilation" quality setting.

    3. tiggity Silver badge

      Re: with only sizes for the larger fanboi available

      The software and hardware used for high volume commercial knitwear manufacture is impressive (obv the design is sent down digitally, no cards needed), but they will typically be decent sized product runs.

      It would be easy for such services to be offered, but whether or not its worth their while is a different matter altogether.

      A lot of domestic flat bed knitting machines still use punch cards though, as do some of the low end more low volume production commercial focused machines.

  7. Andy Miller


    I don't know about a dumpster, I'm seeing Terry Jones as the nude organist from Monty Python.....

  8. Sequin

    Gogh is pronounced like 'khokh', not "go"

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