back to article IBM warns Global Tech Services staff that 346 UK heads will roll in latest redundancy action

IBM has revealed that hundreds of UK staff working in the Global Technology Services division will be in line for the chop under the latest wave of redundancy action. The first meeting of the staff-nominated Employee Consultation Committee (ECC) was held on 25 November and Big Blue confirmed that 346 IBMers working for GTS …

  1. trevorde Silver badge

    On the first day of Christmas

    IBM sent to me,

    A Resource Action - very scary!

    1. Fruit and Nutcase Silver badge
      Alert

      Re: On the first day of Christmas

      Lines adopted from "Bohemian Rhapsody".

      Is this the real life?

      Is this just fantasy?

      Caught in a landslide,

      No escape from reality.

      Open your eyes,

      Look up to the skies and see,

      I'm just a poor GTS bod, I need no sympathy,

      Because I'm easy come, easy go,

      Little high, little low,

      Any way the wind blows doesn't really matter to me, to me.

      Mama, just fired a man,

      Put a strike through his payroll,

      Pressed my my keyboard, now he's gone.

      Mama, life had just begun,

      But now I've gone and banked my bonus

      Mama, ooh,

      Didn't mean to make you cry,

      If IBM is not back in the black this time tomorrow,

      Carry on, carry on as if nothing really matters.

      Too late, my time has come,

      Goodbye, everybody, I've got to go,

      Gotta leave you all behind and face the job market.

      Scaramouche, Scaramouche, will you do the Fandango?

      Galileo Figaro

      Magnifico-o-o-o-o.

      I'm just a GTS bod, nobody loves me.

      He's just a GTS bod from a poor performing unit,

      Spare him his life from this monstrosity.

      Easy come, easy go, will you let me go?

      Bismillah! No, we will let you go. (Don't let him go!)

      Bismillah! We will let you go. (Don't let him go!)

      Bismillah! We will let you go. (Don't let me go!)

      Will let you go. (Don't let me go!)

      Never let stay (Never, never, never, never let me go)

      Oh oh oh oh

      No, no, no, no, no, no, no

      Oh, mama mia, mama mia (Mama mia, don't let me go.)

      Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me, for me, for me.

      So you think you can stone me and spit in my eye?

      So you think you can love me and leave me to die?

      Oh, baby, can't do this to me, baby,

      Just gotta get out, just gotta get right outta here.

      Nothing really matters,

      Anyone can see,

      Nothing really matters,

      Nothing really matters to me.

      Any way the wind blows...

      ================

      With thanks and apologies to Freddie Mercury. May he rest in peace

    2. macjules
      Happy

      Re: On the first day of Christmas

      On the twelfth day of Christmas IBM sent to me.

      12 weeks contractual notice,

      11 days of consultations,

      10 failed logins to Jira,

      9 refused IBM Notes auths,

      8 failures to launch Watson,

      7 attempts to swipe your staff pass in the canteen,

      6 six months' salary ex gratia payments,

      one in 5 GTS staff aaaat risk.

      4 action points

      3 weeks "sufficient time"

      2 hundred and 36 staff axed

      ... and a demand to go voluntaaaarily!

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    "Our workforce decisions are made to best support our clients on their journey to adopting an open hybrid cloud platform and AI capability, and we are reinvesting in our business. We continue to make significant investments in education and skills development for IBMers to better meet our clients' needs."

    No its not. And I am sure I am not the only one tired of seeing this same old bullshit rolled out time and time again. If anyone in senior management would care to explain HOW IBM are better serving their clients by AXING vast swathes of the workforce I'm sure their customers would be all ears. But its not. Its about money. Its about how much more 'profit' they can fuck out of their customers before the customers jump ship to some other cheaper body-shop (same shit service but cheaper). They seem to forget they need those technical resources to get the customer into the Hybrid Cloud they are so desperate to sell. Oh and as for training - does anyone think for one second that enough time is allocated to training? Most of which ends up being on people's own time because otherwise they are so damned busy in their day job trying to keep customers happy with so few people left to do it!

    1. GruntyMcPugh Silver badge

      I don't know why El Reg bother quoting the IBM boilerplate PR fluff, it's all bullshit, I worked for them 15 years and only got on two courses in that time. Staying employed was like standing on an iceberg that was slowly melting. Maybe not that slowly.

    2. GreyWolf

      Been There, Done That

      When I told my customer that IBM was making me redundant, he said "How will IBM cope when all these people they have made redundant start competing with them for the same work, but at a much lower daily rate than IBM charges?". He was very happy that he would be able to get me cheaper than IBM.

      Even at the lower rate, my annual income was twice what IBM were paying me. Happy Days!

  3. Mike 137 Silver badge

    Beautifully ambiguous

    "Potential to pay additional pension contribution from ex-gratia payment"

    So who actually forks out for the pension contributions? Are they deducted from the ex gratia payment or in addition to it?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Beautifully ambiguous

      It will be from the ex gracia payment ... if that payment (6 months salary) is > £30k then paying intto pension has a tax benefit (only first £30k of redundancy payments are tax free) and also if it significantly larger and/or person being made redundant expects to have a sizeable salary next year then this may also be useful to avoid the stupid 60% tax band between 100k & 125k

  4. Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse

    Makes sense...

    "a further shift of focus from indirect and above market roles"

    Quite right. Ged rid of that top-heavy management / process management stratum. They'll all start squealing like little piggies though because they know they are unemployable outside of IBMs bloated internal processes.

    And then, get some decent frontline techies in... or better support the ones you have.

  5. Potemkine! Silver badge

    If there was an Olympic game of PR BS...

    IBM would be a good medal contender.

  6. man_iii
    WTF?

    Have they forgotten NewCo?

    Now that IBM decided to spin off NewCo... why are they still deciding layoffs? Aren't their sole focus on Hybrid cloud business and nothing to do with client services of GTS??

    I wonder if Itsy Bitsy Morons pointyheads will at the last minute cancel the whole NewCo shenanigans and claim it was their plan all along to evaluate the spinoff and not really go through with it.

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    What a company...do the customers know????

    135 people of 1346 under GTS has expressed an interest in voluntary redundancy, 346 cuts needed according to the bean counters in India. Cuts by 'pool' across customer accounts, 52% of business leadership and advisors, 45% service management, 42% of technical OS, 36% of security and risk management, 31% of technical network, 29% DBA and the list goes on. Customers should be worried, UK staff will be replaced by offshore, the quality and ability is no where near the same comparing the onshore and offshore staff. Only customers will suffer! NewCo will be another TCS, just over priced with outdated products.

POST COMMENT House rules

Not a member of The Register? Create a new account here.

  • Enter your comment

  • Add an icon

Anonymous cowards cannot choose their icon

Other stories you might like