back to article Mysterious metal monolith found in 'very remote' part of Utah

The Utah Department of Public Safety has found a mysterious metal monolith in a remote corner of the state. The department's staff were conducting an aerial survey of bighorn sheep in the state's southeast, a region known as "red rock country" for reasons that should be obvious when you behold the image below depicting the …

  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Period.

    (There are some problems with your post.

    The post is required, and must contain letters.)

    1. MJI Silver badge

      Period

      https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-scotland-politics-51629880

      1. Throatwarbler Mangrove Silver badge
        Paris Hilton

        Re: Period

        Shall we assume a series of fnords?

        1. fobobob

          Re: Period

          All too often, I find myself pining for the fnords...

      2. Danny 2 Silver badge

        Re: Period

        Guid mention! Every toilet has free toilet paper because obviously, I'm proud Scotland is the first nation to provide free period products in public toilets.

        [Slightly ashamed we are closing so many public toilets]

  2. jake Silver badge

    Someone with too much time & money ...

    .... AND it's probably an advert for something that nobody needs or wants. Probably goophabet, spamazon or farcebook, with twatter coming in behind now that we won't have Trump to kick around anymore, which will drop their ratings.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Someone with too much time & money ...

      and once this "news" gains enough free traction, bounced from media to media around this globe (global economy, global junk), all shall be revealed, i.e. another breakthrough, revolutionary, disruptive, innovative, life-changing-experience-mind-boggling piece of garbage - in time for XMAS! CLICK! HERE! Physical or digital, garbage nevertheless.

      1. itzman

        Re: Someone with too much time & money ...

        Shiny thing make it all better

        https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/science-technology/shiny-thing-make-it-all-better-201001282420

        1. Claverhouse Silver badge

          Re: Someone with too much time & money ...

          Nice.

          Also I never knew the delightful, but small, Miss Heather Locklear ever played a cop.

          1. getHandle

            Re: Someone with too much time & money ...

            Men of a certain age had strong feelings for Heather in all her roles...

          2. jake Silver badge

            Re: Someone with too much time & money ...

            Locklear and Shatner in one show. Most of my techno-dweeb friends cried when it went off the air.

            1. Francis Boyle

              Sorry but from where I stand

              Daryl Hannah might be worth risking my immortal soul for, Heather Locklear not so much.

    2. cyberdemon Silver badge
      Paris Hilton

      > Probably goophabet, spamazon or farcebook, with twatter coming in behind

      And there was me thinking that Motorola might have released a new phone..

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Someone with too much time & money ...

      >it's probably an advert for something...

      New Toblerone bar? Bloody Swiss..

      1. jake Silver badge

        Re: Someone with too much time & money ...

        With Marketing in charge, probably a bloody swiz[0].

        'Tis the season, and all that.

        [0] Translation for my fellow Yanks: swiz is a Britishism for swindle.

  3. Jim Mitchell Silver badge

    "While the Department has not detailed this monolith’s dimensions it appears not to have copied the 1:4:9 ratio used in the film and its sequels. "

    It's 2020. This is the widescreen monolith ratio era.

    1. Joe W Silver badge
      Coffee/keyboard

      Note to self (again): don't read ElReg comments when drinking hot tea.

      tea | nose > keyboard

    2. ravenviz
      Alien

      Nah, it’s cleverer than that: 1:16:81.

    3. dlc.usa
      Boffin

      Dimensions

      According to the book, the dimensions continued with 16, 25, 36, etc.

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Let's hope it sends out a signal

    for those Orange Utans to evolve.

  5. Potemkine! Silver badge
    Alien

    ThE TruTH iS OuT TheRe

    That icon seems appropriate, doesn't it ? ^^

    1. Bitsminer Bronze badge

      Re: ThE TruTH iS OuT TheRe

      Someone finally used that icon!

    2. Bowlers

      Re: ThE TruTH iS OuT TheRe

      It's a reflector for the Lunnies to find how far they are away from all this crap down here.

  6. redpawn Silver badge
    Boffin

    The Sheep

    put it there. They use it to communicate with God. Now they will have to move it to a better hidden site on a secondary Lay Line.

    1. macjules Silver badge

      Re: The Sheep

      As in, “So long and thanks for all the thistles.” ?

      1. Nick Ryan Silver badge

        Re: The Sheep

        That's sarcasm for sheep.

        Probably a whole field of study in just that

  7. Admiral Grace Hopper
    Alien

    We're missing someone

    Where is aManFromMars when you need him?

    1. seven of five Silver badge

      Re: We're missing someone

      Last time I saw him he was pretty annoyed, mumbling something about "Move my stuff, Utah" or something.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: We're missing someone

      No one needs aMFM - annoying twat

      1. jake Silver badge

        Re: We're missing someone

        The nameless, faceless blobs of grey goo collectively known as AC have been far more annoying and twatish than amfM would ever dream of becoming, even at his most trollish.

  8. Filippo Silver badge

    Stainless steel, and very new

    ...or Unobtanium, and very old?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Stainless steel, and very new

      Someone posted that its been there for a while... per Google earth.

      That said... aluminum would oxidize unless coated.

      Tungsten or Tungsten Carbide wouldn't oxidize.

      Of course... the truth... it was placed their by the lizard people... original inhabitants who evolved from the dinosaurs.

      They have returned and have place this and others strategically around the world to help increase the earth's temperature. And you blamed man for global warming.

      Puny humans!

      Said anonymously due to the lizard people's kill squads roving the planet in disguise.

      1. The Count Is Dead
        Trollface

        Re: Stainless steel, and very new

        Did those lizard people go on to form the Republican Party?

    2. juice Silver badge

      Re: Stainless steel, and very new

      There's a Facebook post being shared from someone[*] who claims to have driven out to the GPS coordinates to take a look.

      And they've said it's clearly manmade, as there's bolts/welding/etc visible. As you can indeed see in one of the closeup photos they've taken.

      They've also noted that it's a very long way away from anywhere, so nipping over to take a look isn't to be encouraged...

      [*] Whit Richardson; he's posted multiple photos, as well as a link to someone else's YT video!

      1. JCitizen
        Black Helicopters

        Re: Stainless steel, and very new

        Whit says on his wall, that YouTubers showed up in a helicopter, and the BLM was there trying to figure it out. A later post says it now gone.

  9. Flocke Kroes Silver badge

    As the location requires delivery by flying car

    It is clearly a DeLorean temporal navigation beacon. If you decode the signal it says: "Stay away from 2020".

  10. Mike_R
    Alien

    Probably an alien device to help the USA achieve civilization

    1. Strahd Ivarius Silver badge

      America had civilisations.

      And then 1492 occurred...

      1. Nick Ryan Silver badge

        I don't remember the dates, but while it's all to common to think of the North Americas being largely dominated by (largely) nomadic tribes, there were also quite a few cities (of the time) of good size and sophistication. The demise of most of these tends to be put down to environmental causes but some just disappeared almost overnight therefore probably violence was involved.

        1. Eclectic Man Silver badge

          'Bury my Heart at Wounded Knee'

          By Dee Brown is a very good book about the 'conquest' of the indigenous North Americans. There was a tribe who cultivated large peach orchards, which the invading white men cut down. Well worth a read.

        2. Dinanziame Silver badge
          Devil

          some just disappeared almost overnight therefore probably violence was involved.

          A true hallmark of civilisation!

  11. deadlockvictim Silver badge

    Plaque

    I shouldn't be taking this seriously and I should be commenting on what the rock formation behind it reminds me of, but I won't.

    It looks like a plaque holder awaiting its plaque. A plaque for what I can not say though: rock formations maybe?

    1. Little Mouse Silver badge

      Re: Plaque

      "This plaque marks the population centre of the Milky Way Galaxy, as determined by Galactic Survey 42,373,249."

    2. Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse Silver badge

      Re: Plaque

      "This plaque congratulates us on 2,000,000 views on Youtube. Thanks for the additional advertising revenue guys, we knew from by the analysis of your viewing histories that it would work. Love Google."

    3. Paul Hovnanian Silver badge

      Re: Plaque

      "A plaque for what I can not say though"

      Undoubtedly this. I look forward to many pure such monuments in the near future.

    4. Andy 68

      Re: Plaque

      It's the sprue that the Magratheans forgot to clean up

  12. Wellyboot Silver badge

    Is this anywhere near where the chap had to cut his own arm off after getting stuck in a canyon?

    1. Prst. V.Jeltz Silver badge

      well, near as in same state.

      See the thing about Utah is its big. Really big.

      You may think its a long way down the street to the chemists but thats just peanuts to Utah!

      .

      .

      .

      'Near' in that Buckingham palace is near Edinburgh , compared to Moscow.

      Utah 87.33% the size of United Kingdom

      1. The Central Scrutinizer

        Most Australian states are bigger than the UK. Just saying.... It's a tiny Island up there.

        1. Prst. V.Jeltz Silver badge

          tru dat,

          but I wouldnt want to carpet it.

          1. Nick Ryan Silver badge

            It's already been carpetted in lies. We're a bit fed up of this.

  13. Mark 85 Silver badge

    Much ado about this...

    Just your average random block of stainless steel sticking up out the desert. Nothing to see here... move along.

    1. chivo243 Silver badge

      Re: Much ado about this...

      Did they look inside?

      1. Jonathan Richards 1 Silver badge
        Go

        Re: Much ado about this...

        > inside

        There was a photo of one guy standing on another's shoulders so he could try to peer over the top. Since they'd spotted it from a helicopter, I should think that they would already have established whether it had an open top or not.

        Given that there is apparently some water running from the rock crevice behind, and the rocks are clearly full of iron, I'm positing that this is a particularly highly-evolved species of cactus.

      2. smudge
        Alien

        Re: Much ado about this...

        Did they look inside?

        Yup. Usual shit. Full of stars.

  14. Will Godfrey Silver badge
    Happy

    It's alien

    Of course!

    Monoliths don't naturally occur in the area, therefore it is alien to the environment.

    Simples!

    1. Nick Ryan Silver badge

      Re: It's alien

      In which area do monoliths naturally occur?

      Just asking in case some of them have grown and need to be harvested. Or something

      1. Solo Owl

        Re: It's alien

        Monoliths naturally occur in national capital cities. (Many are sculpted into the shape of a pomposity, often on horseback.)

      2. Dave559 Silver badge

        Re: It's alien

        There are fields and fields of monoliths snoozing quite peacefully in Breizh/Bretagne/Brittany…

        …at least until Idéfix/Dogmatix tries to pee on them; they don't like that.

        1. Dolvaran

          Re: It's alien

          Asterix rules!

      3. Dinanziame Silver badge
        Boffin

        Re: It's alien

        Actually, monoliths can happen in the middle of deserts. For instance, Uluru is a monolith.

  15. chivo243 Silver badge
    Go

    Burning man, new location 2021?

    too much money too much time... Not for me though...

  16. macjules Silver badge

    Simple explanation

    Planet Earth’s backup USB stick. One one side it says “Do not pull out of the ground” thus ensuring that the current upright monkey species will do exactly that.

    1. Jonathan Richards 1 Silver badge

      Re: Simple explanation

      "Civilization may now be safely removed from the planet. Please remove installation media and restart"

    2. Paul Herber Silver badge

      Re: Simple explanation

      It reads "Restoring Earth-backup-2020. Found 42 corrupt sectors. Found 1 virus".

      1. Nick Ryan Silver badge

        Re: Simple explanation

        Only 42?

        I'm surprised that it didn't find multiple corrupt operating systems too.

      2. timrowledge

        Re: Simple explanation

        I think you mean “45 corrupted sectors” ?

  17. Ramis101

    We all know the Cigarette Smoking Man did it.

    relax, Moulder & Scully are on their way......

    1. Roger Kynaston Silver badge
      Mushroom

      Mulder & Scully

      Scully won't be there. She has transmogrified into Margaret Thatcher!

  18. fpx
    Boffin

    Have the sheep demonstrated increased levels of intelligence yet? They might be plotting for The Planet of the Sheep!

    1. Arthur the cat Silver badge
      1. deadlockvictim Silver badge

        A sheep with a star on its back

        Or here even.

  19. revenant

    "...the Department won't reveal its location "

    Not to worry - someone on reddit found it: [ 38.343111, -109.666250 ]

    1. thondwe

      Re: "...the Department won't reveal its location "

      looking at zoom.earth it shows in March 2020, but not clear it's on the early sat images from Dec 2009->Jun 2017 which fits with the hacks barbecue corrosion theory...

      1. Uncle Slacky Silver badge

        Re: "...the Department won't reveal its location "

        It seems to have been erected between 2015 and 2016 according to the photos in this thread:

        https://old.reddit.com/r/videos/comments/k01dc3/mysterious_metal_monolith_found_in_remote_utah/gdfoa9w/

    2. Anonymous Coward Silver badge
      Alien

      Re: "...the Department won't reveal its location "

      That's clearly the replica one that they don't mind you finding. The real one is currently being dissected in area 50¾

    3. JetSetJim Silver badge

      Re: "...the Department won't reveal its location "

      Given the photo in front of the article on El Reg is the same as the one found in Google Maps when you go to that location (courtesy of one Brian Buckner), one wonders if that is how it was found. He has another pic which certainly makes it look triangular.

      I wonder what the licensing conditions are on that photo...

      1. JCitizen

        Re: "...the Department won't reveal its location "

        That's odd!!? From space, the immediate area looks like a quarry!

        1. jake Silver badge

          Re: "...the Department won't reveal its location "

          It doesn't look any thing at all like a quarry.

          This is a quarry ... Yes, that's Apple HQ less than 2 miles to the East.

    4. jake Silver badge

      Re: "...the Department won't reveal its location "

      How rude.

      There is an unwritten law of desert exploration that you don't ever give precise coordinates to interesting places. When you do that, the GreatUnwashed arrive en mass and destroy whatever made the place interesting.

      1. revenant

        Re: "...the Department won't reveal its location "

        I think another unwritten law of desert exploration is that the GreatUnwashed are thoroughly unprepared for it and don't last long. So look upon it as a service to the more refined American folk.

    5. Nick Ryan Silver badge

      Re: "...the Department won't reveal its location "

      Can see why they'd ask people not to go to see it... 20km or so from the nearest road across rocky terrain? Definitely one to avoid.

      Also raises questions about how it got there, let alone why

      1. Nik 2

        Re: "...the Department won't reveal its location "

        Just over 3 miles from a paved road to the location given below, and only 500 yards along a gully from a road that an average 4x4 might be able to use.

        1. Big_Boomer Silver badge
          Alien

          Re: "...the Department won't reveal its location "

          I for one would like to welcome our Alien masters and their 4x4s ;-P

          1. Tom 7 Silver badge

            Re: "...the Department won't reveal its location "

            You are assuming that it, unlike most art, has any noticeable weight at all,

            1. 0laf Silver badge

              Re: "...the Department won't reveal its location "

              Some sunburned locals heading out with their God Given firearms to shoot that damn thing to death

  20. John G Imrie
    Alien

    It's an advert ...

    Just not aimed at anyone on earth.

    1. Wellyboot Silver badge
      Alien

      Re: It's an advert ...

      As long as it's not a deli price list...

      1. Strahd Ivarius Silver badge

        Re: It's an advert ...

        "How to serve man", perhaps?

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: It's an advert ...

          "How to serve man", perhaps?

          Goes well with fava beans and a nice chianti apparently...

        2. aregross

          Re: It's an advert ...

          I got that!

      2. Little Mouse Silver badge

        Re: It's an advert ...

        That's just Bad Taste.

  21. Chris G Silver badge
    Alien

    Storage

    It's a zero kelvin, temporal stasis container for jubblies, they are great for exploring desert on new planets. Thirst quenching and cooling.

    We weren't going to come back, but I suppose we'll have to now or it affects our pay packets.

  22. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Us humans and our narrow view of the science, it's clearly from an alien race whose composition is completely different and superior to ours in that they they shit metal monoliths or monologs as they are more commonly known. After viewing our television over the radio waves they determined we still throw shit at each other and decided to send a greeting. They are currently waiting with baited breath on the moon for our televised attempts at returning the message with catapults.

  23. Kevin McMurtrie Silver badge

    Slow to the punchline

    Imagine pulling off a great prank in the year 2001 and nobody notices for 19 years.

    1. Antron Argaiv Silver badge
      Happy

      Re: Slow to the punchline

      It does have a certain appeal.

      A "long game" indeed.

      1. Dave559 Silver badge

        Re: Slow to the punchline

        'A "long game" indeed.'

        I am genuinely wondering if it might be associated with the Long Now Foundation in some way?

  24. Grikath

    attempt at art

    which fits the "too much time and money" category.

    Weren't there some "pop-up" artists of the Banksy mindset that do this kind of stuff?

    1. Tom 7 Silver badge

      Re: attempt at art

      Those aborigines have ruined lots of overhangs in Australia!

  25. Bitsminer Bronze badge

    USB?

    Perhaps it is a USB stick dropped by a Brobdingnagian?

    And of course it is a security test. Don't, whatever you do, plug it into your PC!

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: USB?

      PC? Hell, somebody plugged it into the Earth itself. No wonder everything went to shit.

      Send John McAfee to uninstall it?

  26. Kevin Johnston

    Very telling survey

    Had a look at the results and it seems we Reg readers are even more cynical that I thought. There is hope for us yet

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Very telling survey / even more cynical that I thought. There is hope for us yet

      meanwhile, unleash this survey to the real world, and 99.9% of the population will claim it's a proof for aliens. Hope? We're fucked.

  27. Mooseman Silver badge

    Brockian Ultra-Cricket Stump.

    Obviously.

    .

    .

    .

    .

    .

    .

    .

    .

    .

    .

    .

    .

    .

    .sorry!

  28. TRT Silver badge

    I expect...

    It’s left over from the filming of some kind of man’s perfume advert starring Johnny Depp. So no one will ever be able to understand it. Ever. The adverts that defy all comprehension.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: I expect...

      There's one at the moment for a perfume called "love" which ends with the statement "love ... what will you do for it?" .... to which I immediately thought "anything, but I won't do that" - not sure if that was the response they were intending!

  29. Sleep deprived
    Gimp

    Stainless steel?

    It's a T-1000 Terminator at rest, waiting for its next mission.

    1. Little Mouse Silver badge
      Terminator

      Re: Stainless steel?

      That's an interesting choice of icon (!)

      Is it from one of the later Terminator films that I've chosen to avoid?

  30. this
    Holmes

    Not well finished

    The first thing I noticed was the obvious marks of badly finished rivets or screws down either side. More an Ikea flat pack than a monolith.

  31. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Don't worry, it's just a marker for that new intergalactic bypass. You've seen the planning charts and demolition notices, right?

  32. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Eventually one of the sheep will approach it and have their brain evolved into the new dominant super-species. I, for one, welcome our new bighorn ovine overlords!

    1. MJI Silver badge

      You need to watch the BBC documentry about sheep.

      Some are very clever, the farmer does not suspect.

      1. ChrisElvidge

        Clever sheep?

        Lets call him Shaun

  33. Missing Semicolon Silver badge
    Boffin

    Film set

    Does all of Utah look like a Star Trek away mission set?

    1. Nick Ryan Silver badge

      Re: Film set

      This is not a coincidence...

      1. Dave559 Silver badge

        Re: Film set

        Rocky arid alien landscapes are more often filmed in California desert locations within easy reach of Hollywood, for obvious logistical reasons.

        There's a wonderful in-joke in a certain Star Trek series where (warning: very mild scene spoiler) a certain alien rock formation appears, but as its actual self. I may be slightly sad, but it did make me laugh!

    2. deadlockvictim Silver badge

      Re: Film set

      If you want to see truly intergalactic scenery, you just need to visit quarries in the south of Wales.

      1. Missing Semicolon Silver badge

        Re: Film set

        No that's planets-that-are-not-Earth on Dr Who.

    3. Danny 2 Silver badge

      Re: Film set

      All of the Netherlands is as flat as a Doctor Who set.

      I guess most of you smarties know this already, but the standard frog 'ribbet' noise in Hollywood movies is not representative of most frogs, just the hyla regilla (Pacific tree frog) that lives around Hollywood.

  34. wjake

    On the other side(s)

    that they aren't showing you it reads...

    Golden Palace Casino

  35. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Where are....

    The other 27 dominoes.

  36. 89724102172714182892114I7551670349743096734346773478647892349863592355648544996312855148587659264921 Bronze badge

    Judging by the form of the small symmetrical pool of water under the crack and the positioning of the object relative to both, it was placed there by a New Age/Yoga cult:

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lingam

    It's ratio of 1:9 (the rest is buried) suggests that this object is a place of worship for a New Age cult, not a Yoga cult; representing the Destroyer:

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shiva

    As paraphrased by Oppenheimer: "Now I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds."

    Will 2020 never end?

    1. Toni the terrible

      Will 2020 never end?

      Keep Calm; Everything ends/dies even 2020

    2. VeganVegan

      You have something there...

      An erect lingam in front of the yoni.

  37. 0laf Silver badge
    Paris Hilton

    Birds

    Was it sprung steel?

    Was someone tryng to play full sized Angry Birds in the desert

  38. JCB

    At least they shut it

    When I passed there a few weeks ago I just assumed it was a new design cable street cabinet. The only surorise was that the door had not been left swinging opem.

  39. GreyWolf
    Devil

    It's a locator beacon...

    for the Vogon Constructor Fleet that will be arriving soon....

    My God, it's full of poetry....

    1. Toni the terrible

      Re: It's a locator beacon...

      For a certain value of poetry, that is

  40. 2+2=5 Silver badge
    Joke

    Extreme ironing?

    Someone had a go at extreme ironing and left their board behind.

  41. DaemonProcess

    5th element

    It is telling the USA to re-find the 5th element. 70 million of them need Leeloo.

    1. jake Silver badge

      Re: 5th element

      I have a smooth Collie named Lilo, does that count?

      1. timrowledge

        Re: 5th element

        You’ll have us in stitches with jokes like that

  42. 20TC

    If it is a promo for some tat...

    ...it makes me wonder if the guys who found it were 'tipped off'. Otherwise it is a bit of a gamble to go to the hassle of making this thing 'hoping' that someone will find it in time before the launch of said tat on the market.

  43. Toni the terrible

    Thing in the desert

    probably just dumped rubbish. But if not what did the ovelord Donald Trump say about it?

  44. Celeste Reinard

    It's a local thing

    1: It's not a monolith, since those are made out of stone (as in the name);

    2: It fell out of my... purse;

    3: As everybody knows, I am not from a different planet, but a different dimension, so I can do as I please and lay my eggs wherever I please.

  45. cd

    It's not that far from Moab, which is scenic and popular, but also has a uranium industry background with discarded leftovers strewn about.

    There were dumps of uranium ore along some riverbeds near there even recently, and there's a processing facility south of there near Blanding, to which radioactive tailings are being brought from out-of-state as well. A search will bring up various gov't maps of reclamation efforts and plans for that area.

    I see the warning as straddling a way to keep people from exploring overland in potentially unsafe directions while not killing the golden tourism goose that is Moab.

    That said, I'm tempted to go look. Could be there today if I stopped posting on the Reg, certainly lots of places to car-camp and hike. Might be a good time to set up a food truck nearby.

  46. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    The Monolith in Seattle was more exciting...it kept moving..

    On January 1'st 2001 a large Black Monolith appeared in a Seattle park. Then disappeared again to reappear on an island in the middle of a lake in another park. Then a final sojourn by the lake until it went to its final resting place.

    Back in the good old days when guerilla art was really creative and had a real sense of fun.

    Anyone else remember the Ball and Chain on the Hammering Man outside the Seattle Art Museum? A far more honest art statement that the very anodyne original piece.

    Was the "Waiting for the Interurban" wearing face-masks recently? Just checked. I see it did.

  47. Mog_X

    All These Worlds Are Yours

    Except America - Attempt No Landing There

    (This is good advice for most of the civilised world , irrespective of the presence of the monolith)

  48. HammerOn1024

    Right! Which One Of You...

    Alright! Settle down! Settle down... there that's better! Right! Now then, which one of you reanimated Mr. Kubrick? Yes! I'm looking at you young Mr. Frankenstein and you Mr. Moreau!

  49. Ken Moorhouse Silver badge

    Let me get this straight...

    They were counting sheep, right?

    So when they woke up, was it still there?

    Also, who counts bighorn sheep? Sounds like some organic concoction a doctor might prescribe for someone with morning glory fade.

    1. jake Silver badge

      Re: Let me get this straight...

      "Also, who counts bighorn sheep?"

      The Department of the Interior. Gives them the data needed to decide how many hunting permits are allowed in any given season. Remember, while this thing may be in the State of Utah, it's on BLM land, which is federally managed ... for rather small values of "managed", of course.

  50. Nifty Silver badge

    Would be amusing if when the authorities try to pluck it out of the ground, it turns out to extend 100m down.

    1. jake Silver badge

      It's probably epoxied in. Gut feeling is that the authorities will just leave it be, as removing it will cause "damage to the environment".

  51. jake Silver badge

    Remote my ass.

    I just looked at a map. It's only a couple hundred yards off the Lockhart Basin Trail, which is easily doable by an experienced off-roader in an almost bone-stock mid-'90s Ford Explorer equipped with adequate offroad tires, aftermarket skid plates, and a 3" lift. I suspect that an average, run-of-the-mill, home-built rock crawler can drive right up to it with no difficulty.

  52. Eclectic Man Silver badge

    Chocolate is the answer

    It is the new Toblerone packaging, and full of (now melted) chocolate with bits of nougat, obviously.

    Also, would educated people PLEASE stop calling it a 'monolith'. As has been pointed out by someone above, "lith" refers to stone and the object is obviously metallic.

    (In the same way I am annoyed by people who think a 'henge' is a place with big stones and suchlike when it actually means an area within a ditch and dyke:

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Henge

    "The word henge refers to a particular type of earthwork of the Neolithic period, typically consisting of a roughly circular or oval-shaped bank with an internal ditch surrounding a central flat area of more than 20 m (66 ft) in diameter.")

    1. Big_Boomer Silver badge

      MonoSid? MonoSider?

      Lithos = Stone, Sideros = Iron, but we can't call it a MonoSider as it pretty obviously has 3 sides plus a top and (presumably) bottom. So, I dub it MonoSid as it stands alone and is made of iron. Since it seems to have appeared between 2015 & 2016 (from satellite images of the area) and isn't covered in crud and dust, someone must be visiting it regularly to clean it. From now on it'll be visited by hippies and cultists and QAnon loonies who will proclaim it to be the living embodiment of peace, god, and proof that you can get gullible morons to believe any old conspiracy twaddle.

      1. Eclectic Man Silver badge
        Happy

        Re: MonoSid? MonoSider?

        Iron is Fe, so could it be a MonoFerrous?

        Maybe it is not covered in crud and dust due to being quite pure, located in a desert with very low humidity, and a bit of wind to blow any sand off the top. There is an iron pillar in India which is hundreds of years old but has not rusted due to chemical composition, and a long way from the sea (so no salt to cause corrosion).

        https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Iron_pillar_of_Delhi

  53. Fruit and Nutcase Silver badge

    Tesla Powerwall

    A Powerwall prototype undergoing environmental testing

  54. Fruit and Nutcase Silver badge
    Alien

    Dr Who

    Just another form of the Master's TARDIS

  55. spold

    Christmas tat you regret buying....

    ...it's one of those interactive smart home-gym mirror thingies. By boxing day you realise the monthly subscription costs more than a trip to Jupiter, and you pay a man-ape to take it away and dump it in the desert.

  56. Stevie Silver badge

    Bah!

    "The off-planet mention is of course a reference to seminal sci-fi flick 2001: A Space Odyssey, "

    Is everyone in the world now so shirt thick they have to have every cultural reference explained in painful detail as soon as it is made?

    Can't we leave this sort of stuff to the ritalin-deprived dweebs who edit pages on Wikipedia?

    1. Missing Semicolon Silver badge

      Re: Bah!

      We iz old. They may not be.

    2. jake Silver badge
      Pint

      Re: Bah!

      Because today's kids don't realize that we've been listening to "their" memes since the 1960s (Star Trek, 2001, Dr. Who et alia) or 1970s (HHGTG etc.)? (1930s and 1940s for Hobbits and rings and dragons, oh my!)

      But seriously kids, we know already. It's getting kinda old.

      Now ger orf me lawn! (Have a beer, Stevie.)

      1. Stevie Silver badge
        Pint

        Re: Bah!

        This is *your* lawn?

        Then I'm lost again.

        Where's my panic button?

        1. jake Silver badge

          Re: Bah!

          My lawn was figurative ...although. like a lot of my fellow travelers/explorers of our collectively owned federal (BLM) lands here Out West, I do have a sense of ownership. Not ownership as in "it's mine, and you cant have it!", but more of a custodial nature. I have been known to growl at idiots who tear up the landscape, leave camp fires burning, indiscriminately throw trash around, festoon the wilderness with graffiti, and the like. Somebody's got to stand up to the morons.

          Places like Utah's canyon lands and deserts are unique on this planet, and IMO they shouldn't be ruined by a few asshole yahoos out for lulz. While I'm hardly green & granola (I legally hunt, fish, trap and selectively log), I do generally adhere to the principles of "leave no trace" in our wildlands. As such, while I would yell at the idiots who put up the "monument" in question (and wouldn't mind seeing them prosecuted by the Feds), I feel that leaving it in place for others to discover is probably the best thing to do.

          And yes, if I ever travel the Lockhart Basin Trail again (it's been over 20 years), I will probably hike over to see the site in person, just because I can.

          Strange multi-level not-quite-dichotomy, eh?

    3. Stevie Silver badge

      Re: Bah!

      Case in point. Every reference explained because someone thought everyone else was so shirt thick they needed help decoding the humor.

  57. el_oscuro
    Alien

    There is another monolith

    A few years ago in Arlington, VA, they were tearing down an old office building near my work and putting up a new one.

    The problem was, when they dug down to about 40 feed, then encountered an unknown object they couldn't move. None of the equipment they had could move it. It was dubbed the Monolith. Eventually, they simply constructed the parking garage around it.

  58. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    It is where...

    Rudi '4 seasons total landscaping, leaking hair dye' Giuliani will find all the missing millions of votes for 'The Donald'.

    Or perhaps where that other dipstick of a lawyer (now fired) will find her 'biblical' pile of election corruption evidence (and the grave of Hugo Chavez)

    The USA is a running joke in the rest of the world. The sad thing is that the MAGA crew can't see what they are doing to the reputation of the USA.

  59. Uplink

    Remote location

    Remote location where one can get stuck even if they know the area, but somebody managed to get a big chunk of steel up there unnoticed and get back out without asking for help. Yeah, sounds legit.

    1. Ghostman

      Re: Remote location

      Remote location where one can get stuck even if they know the area, but somebody managed to get a big chunk of steel up there unnoticed and get back out without asking for help. Yeah, sounds legit.

      UPDATE UTAH: The monolith has disappeared, seemingly overnight.

      https://www.facebook.com/BLMUtah/posts/3816317375067234

      Bureau of Land Management , the federal agency that oversees National Parks, says they did not remove the object.

  60. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    In my finest Arnold J Rimmer voice.....

    Aliens!

    I think I am going to have to have a Red Dwarf session soon.

    1. Stevie Silver badge

      Aliens!

      Don't anyone tell him it's an SGP.

      1. jake Silver badge

        Re: Aliens!

        Yes, it's a symbol grounding problem. But that hardly helps us understand its meaning, now does it?

  61. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Don't remove it...

    ... it plugs a hole, the earth will deflate

  62. Felonmarmer

    So long and thanks...

    When building an interstellar bypass, it's good practice to mark obstacles for demolition so the locals can raise any objections with the local area galactic authorities.

  63. Peter Clarke 1

    New Tour

    Great! Spinal Tap are going back out on tour. The art designer got the dimensions right but they used the same locations manager as Rudi.

    Have they checked for children's footsteps?

  64. onemark03 Bronze badge

    Monolith

    OK, I'll go out on a limb (1) and risk making a fool of myself and say out loud that this thing's nothing more than a bloody wind-up (2).

    Now bring on the down-votes.

    ____________________

    1. Well, someone's got to!

    2. Mind you, it's original.

  65. Blackjack Silver badge

    Is three monkeys on a silver raincoat!

    Come on, you can even see their tails!

  66. Inspector71
    Happy

    New Shiny

    My guess, it's the new Mac Pro. Ultra minimalist. No ports, completely sealed and you can't configure anything. You just be grateful for what they give you. Yours for a mere $250,000.

  67. Norman123

    A monument to the biggest loser in the history of the Universe

    The timing is revealing....Placed there by a secret UN gang.....;))

  68. Danny 2 Silver badge
  69. mevets Bronze badge

    Human?

    Certainly no human could build something like that!

    [ apologies to Harold Ramis and Bill Murray ].

  70. Fruit and Nutcase Silver badge
    Pint

    I drive all night

    to get to youthe monolith

    https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-55071058

    "I decided to go there first because I was drawn to the fact that this object had been there for five years, hidden in nature," said David Surber, a 33-year-old former US Army infantry officer who drove six hours through the night after finding a Reddit post claiming to have found the exact location.

    State wildlife officials originally spotted the object on 18 November while conducting a helicopter flyover of the remote, Mars-like terrain to count big horn sheep. The Reddit user who posted the co-ordinates, Tim Slane, said he had tracked the flight path of the helicopter until it went off-radar - a sign it might have landed.

    At this point, he scanned the map for the exact features of the terrain seen in official photos and videos, before zeroing in on a canyon that appeared to fit the bill. There, a distinct shadow - long and narrow - could be seen. It's not visible in historic satellite imagery from 2015, but appears in October 2016 when scrubland in the vicinity also appears to have been cleared.

    I drove all night - Roy Orbison

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m5N9IHqqGcA

    1. Fruit and Nutcase Silver badge

      Re: I drive all night

      Not to forget Cyndi Lauper...

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2y1TZXc5DiY

      1. Ken Moorhouse Silver badge

        Re: Not to forget Cyndi Lauper...

        Mmm yes. Have an upvote for reminding me of the stunning gig(s) she did at Shepherds Bush Empire, many years' ago now.

    2. Fruit and Nutcase Silver badge

      Re: I drive all night

      Hmm, didn't spot mix up on the title earlier.

      Drive /Drove

    3. jake Silver badge

      Re: I drive all night

      "I decided to go there first because I was drawn to the fact that this object had been there for five years, hidden in nature," said David Surber"

      Sadly, our man on the spot Dave failed miserably in his quest to be "first", because a dozen other twits did the same thing. And they all failed, too, because clearly the Utah Department of Public Safety Aero Bureau and the Utah Division of Wildlife Resources had already been there, which they all seemed to forget in their quest to find fame. To say nothing of the folks who put the thing up in the first place, who no doubt have been back a few times since.

      During the meanwhile ... now, thanks to TehIntraWebTubes, a quiet little corner of Utah which hasn't seen more than a couple people per year (decade?) is getting trampled to death by a hoard of blithering idiots, each trying to get their page hits up.

      Methinks that the authorities would do well to drill a small hole in the top of this thing and drop in a bore-scope, then post the results before some whacko treasure hunter off his meds heads that way with a Makita, drills out the pop-rivets down one side, and peels it like a banana ... thus depriving the rest of the public of a view of the pristine original.

  71. Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

    Whatever

    Whatever it may be, care must be taken lest it trigger a horde of aliens invading us.

    On second thoughts, an alien invasion may be much better than this COVID pandemic. Hopefully COVID will take care of the aliens a la War of the Worlds...

    1. Fruit and Nutcase Silver badge
      Alert

      Re: Whatever

      A Trojan HorseMonolith?

  72. Fruit and Nutcase Silver badge

    Banksy

    May be he'll come up with something for it

  73. WONKY KLERKY

    ref YOUR SURVEY

    SIRS

    I MUST, AND HERE DO, COMPLAIN IN THE VERY STRONGEST POSSIBLE.

    ref Your Voting Option 2, viz:

    'I don't know but I'm pretty sure it flipped a lot of votes from Trump to Biden'

    IT ONLY LET ME VOTE x5 TIMES BEFORE IT LOCKED UP ON ME.

    IS THIS ANYWAY TO RUN A DEMOCRATIC SOCIETY?

  74. Fruit and Nutcase Silver badge
    Black Helicopters

    Calling all cars...

    Mystery metal monolith vanishes from Utah desert

    Metal structure that prompted multiple theories about how it came to be was removed by ‘an unknown party’, officials say

    https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2020/nov/29/monolith-vanishes-from-utah-desert

    1. JCitizen
      Stop

      Re: Calling all cars...

      End of story!

      1. jake Silver badge

        Re: Calling all cars...

        Not really the end of the story. The thing was considered private property by the authorities ... and if whoever took it away didn't own it, it was theft. As a piece of world-renowned art, it probably had considerable value beyond just scrap ... the perps may be in for more trouble than one might think.

        It gets worse for them. Apparently at least one person pissed next to it. If they managed to pollute that water source, it's a major federal crime. You can't run from DNA ...

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