back to article Elon Musk's ancient April Fools' gag about 'Tesla Tequila' made real in lightning-shaped bottle

On April 1st, 2018, Elon Musk took to Twitter to reveal that his electric car company Tesla had gone broke. "Despite intense efforts to raise money, including a last-ditch mass sale of Easter Eggs, we are sad to report that Tesla has gone completely and totally bankrupt. So bankrupt, you can't believe it," said the mock press …

  1. chivo243 Silver badge
    FAIL

    Fools and their money

    are soon partying?

    1. oiseau Silver badge
      Facepalm

      Re: Fools and their money

      Indeed ...

      Like ElReg's Iain Thomson said back in early 2019:

      "... the guy could sell pork pies at a rabbinical convention."

      The man's quite clearly a marketing genius.

      He made a cool $4.5M in sales (in no time) from 500 dimwitts and really stupid government regulations when he resold over 9000 propane blowtorches like the ones used by gardeners for burning weeds by labelling them flamethrowers.

      And now he's done it again. 8^D

      Incredible, it seems there is a sucker born every minute.

      O.

      1. SkyFlyer

        Re: Fools and their money

        Whats worse than the fools who buy these are the fools who buy from the fools; for an imaginary inflated value. Feel like I want to be the first fool in this scenario tho.

        1. HildyJ Silver badge
          Devil

          Re: Fools and their money

          There's definitely a touch of Cut-Me-Own-Throat Dibbler in Elon.

          1. Toni the terrible

            Re: Fools and their money

            Rat on a Stick, CMOTD?

  2. Steve Davies 3 Silver badge
    Joke

    Coming Soon

    Tesla branded water that has been passed by Elon himself. $100 for a 1pint (US) bottle. [see icon]

    1. Fruit and Nutcase Silver badge
      Joke

      Re: Coming Soon

      Tesla branded watches, AA batteries, underwear, TVs, mobile phones, tools, coffee etc. If the car company does go under, the brand will live on.

      1. AlgernonFlowers4

        Re: Coming Soon

        May Tesla never be forgotten

    2. Fruit and Nutcase Silver badge
      Joke

      Re: Coming Soon

      Tesla branded water that has been passed by Elon himself.

      "Eau de Musk"

      1. Jimmy2Cows Silver badge
        Happy

        Re: Coming Soon

        Does bring a whole new meaning to a Musky aroma.

      2. Jellied Eel Silver badge

        Re: Coming Soon

        "Eau de Musk"

        Or "Eau de Ar" after it's been tested. But then in a possible good/bad news sense, some states added bills to decriminalise or legalise drugs to their ballots. And at least one other passed a 'right to repair' bill.

        But it'd be more lucrative to just announce He'd struck water during tunneling, which will be blessed, bottled, branded and sold as Tesla/Boring Water. Or just copy Rock Star and market hype-flavored energy drinks. Tesla gives you energy*

        But the bottle design also looks like it'd be prone to crashing, or have serious handling problems. This may of course be intentional and customers would just have to scrap & recycle the product. Which from a sustainability POV, seems rather over-engineered and wasteful of resources. Then again, Musk may just be trolling his customers-

        https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chrysler_Turbine_Car

        The A-831 could operate on diesel fuel, unleaded gasoline, kerosene, and JP-4 jet fuel;[37] leaded gasoline damaged it.[38][39] According to Chrysler, it could burn a variety of unusual fuels ranging from furnace oil and perfume to peanut and soybean oils.[8][31][36] Mexican president Adolfo López Mateos ran one of the cars on tequila after Chrysler engineers confirmed that it would do so.

        Demonstrating the advantages ICEs can have compared to EVs. And as the fuel tank is sealed, doesn't fall foul of US open bottle laws, unless additional fuel lines are run into the passenger compartment for fuel quality testing. And on a personal note, this is perhaps the best thing to do with turpent.. I mean cheap tequila.

        *Caffeine, glucose/fructose not included, visit charging stations where customers can purchase these ingredients.

  3. VicMortimer
    Mushroom

    Lightning bolt, or S rune?

    Those are very popular in the Twitter Nazi crowd, they'll incorporate them into their usernames.

    Elon has been taking a nasty turn toward right-wing politics lately. Did he just signal that he's gone even further?

    1. Dave 126 Silver badge

      I was about to suggest that expressing Nazi sympathies might not help one sell cars to hippies in California... until I remembered the VW Beetle.

    2. LogicGate

      Look at the positive side; In order to get a full SS, a moron will have to part with $500, and the money will be spent on sustainable mobility. In addition. this effectively removes $500 worth of "rolling coal" from the atmosphere. It is a win-win situation!

      1. TeeCee Gold badge
        Alert

        It is a win-win situation!

        All well and good until you wake up to find the Ahnenerbe SS summoning undead gods on your lawn.

        1. LogicGate

          More likely that you will find the Ahnenerbe SS sleeping off the Teslaquila on your lawn.

        2. Toni the terrible

          Not if the New Management finds out, HE doesnt like competition

    3. Jimmy2Cows Silver badge
      Pint

      Congrats on managing to invoke Godwin's Law from the most unlikely of topics.

    4. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      How could you possibly criticise the Holy Prophet Elon? Don’t you know he is the foretold one come to save us from sin and money?

  4. jake Silver badge

    Have any of all y'all ...

    ... ever tasted a vanity bottling of anything? They are almost universally pure crap. I've certainly never tasted one that was worth 25 bucks, much less 250. Looks like Elon's separating fanbois from their money yet again ...

    1. Sgt_Oddball Silver badge

      Re: Have any of all y'all ...

      You're not supposed to drink vanity bottles.

      Especially since they're almost universally purfume...

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Have any of all y'all ...

        Wouldn't drinking that just make it more interesting?

        Asking for a friend :)

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      I've made $40,000 off TSLA in 7 months. A few more months and I'll have a free car. I'll gladly pay $250 for the booze

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        $70k a year to work there? They pay well.

        1. jake Silver badge

          Pay is relative.

          70K/yr is sub-poverty level wages for a family of 4 in Silly Con Valley. An aging, under-maintained, two bedroom apartment smelling vaguely of cat piss and rotting cabbage can easily set you back half of that within a dozen or so miles of the Tesla plant.

  5. Chris G Silver badge

    Colouring books

    I am sure there would be a market for them, the biggest problem is to stop the users eating their crayons or inserting them into inappropriate orifii.

    1. Sgt_Oddball Silver badge

      Re: Colouring books

      The bigger problem is getting the crayons back from the design/marketing teams (we used to have a pack to send proposed website designs back to them.)

      1. Chris G Silver badge

        Re: Colouring books

        I am not surprised that marketing and designers like crayons considering their average output.

      2. Kane Silver badge

        Re: Colouring books

        The even bigger problem it to get them to understand words like "orifii".

        1. Chris G Silver badge

          Re: Colouring books

          They would probably think Orifii is some kind of fraternity.

          1. jake Silver badge

            Re: Colouring books

            It might as well be the name of a frat ... it's certainly not English. Nor is it Latin.

  6. werdsmith Silver badge

    Not for drinking. In some kind of collectors world in the future they will be occasionally showing up at auctions and fetching $2000.

    1. BigSLitleP

      Yup, was coming here to post this. That's not expensive tequila, it's a cheap investment.

      1. juice Silver badge

        It's a bit of a gamble, though.

        Barring the possibility that you can just "flip" the bottles immediately after purchase for a healthy profit[*], then this is presumably a long-term speculative investment.

        And will the Tesla brand be worth anything in 30 or 40 years? Who knows!

        [*] I was more than mildly annoyed when I saw someone doing this with a limited-edition print at a local show for a local artist; they literally bought it, took a photo and put it straight onto Ebay while still at the show. More annoyingly, they got their asking price for it pretty much immediately...

        1. Mark 85 Silver badge

          And will the Tesla brand be worth anything in 30 or 40 years? Who knows!

          The auction and collectibles markets would say "yes". All sorts of things from the not so distant past are worth some serious change nowadays.

          1. jake Silver badge

            I dunno about that ...

            I know of two wrecked, gas powered Lotuses which have been rebuilt using scrapped first gen Teslas. Proper Lotus parts are hellaciously expensive, Tesla parts not so much.

          2. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

            I wonder how many people have rooms full of unopened crap that they are hoping will be their retirement fund? They could be lucky and one or two items might well turn out to be collectable and have a future value, but I suspect it' will be the least likely items. The ones people think will have future value are the same things everyone else is collecting with the same hopes which will depress the value until at least after the collectors lifetime when much of the tat will be binned by their children and the few remaining ones might have some real value for the grandchildren who hung on.

            1. jake Silver badge

              I know a gal who is absolutely convinced that her stash of over 5500 Beanie Babies (and climbing) will be worth tens of millions of dollars when she is ready to retire.

              1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

                LOL. With that many, it's not very likely. However, if there IS a market at that time, she may well have one or two that may be especially rare at that point. The oddest things can end up having collector resale value.

                eg whiskey and certain plastic toys, "The best piece was the vinyl cape Jawa, the guys from the desert in the original Star Wars film," he said. That item alone fetched £22,000.

                Now, in real life, a decent whiskey is relatively likely to have some future value, but guessing which cheap bit of plastic tat might have future value is probably harder than a Vulture Capitalist picking a winning start-up.

  7. Boris the Cockroach Silver badge
    Happy

    Did

    the colouring book comes with extra red crayons for that day in every BOFH's life where he/she cannot take the strain anymore from the users and carves they way out of their job and into criminal history........

  8. disgruntled yank Silver badge

    Proposed motto

    "Our cars may have bugs, but our bottles have worms."

  9. Fr. Ted Crilly

    er..

    So where is the Llama then?

  10. Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse Silver badge

    I'll stick with my Herradura anejo thanks.

  11. Allonymous Coward
    Joke

    This is my own brand. Tres Comas.

    Know what that means in Spanish?

    1. Chris G Silver badge

      Re: This is my own brand. Tres Comas.

      Tres comas is basically Eat three.

    2. Darren B

      Re: This is my own brand. Tres Comas.

      Think you were beaten to it

      https://www.forbes.com/sites/ginapace/2019/11/29/diageo-launches-real-tequila-tres-comas-based-on-silicon-valley-joke/?sh=25d9a52b71df

  12. FlippingGerman

    Colouring book

    Colouring, you say? How about the colouring book for A10 pilots, a guide on how best to kill Soviet tanks?

    https://medium.com/war-is-boring/cold-war-coloring-book-taught-a-10-pilots-to-kill-soviet-tanks-a26385113bf0

    1. jake Silver badge

      Re: Colouring book

      Lest anybody misunderstand, that coloring book is not an official training aide, rather it is an in joke, in the same vein as the IBM Mouse Balls memo (see this post of mine from a few years ago).

      This kind of thing was fairly common when what we now call "desktop publishing" was in it's infancy ... a single master copy would be produced with a computer, and then it would be xeroxed to pass copies around. The copies would then again be xeroxed, and those copies, etc. until you had copies circulating that were 9th or 10th generation and so full of noise as to be almost unrecognizable.

      Fun times. Or not, depending on your perspective.

  13. Big_Boomer Silver badge

    Nice bottle,...

    Shame about the contents. Never been a fan of Tequila but each to their own.

    As for those who "worship" other human beings, what is wrong with you? You can see it on just about any "celebrity" social media account. If you worship another human being then you need counselling and possibly electro-shock therapy,... with a cattle prod. I recently got dragged into the Facebook page of our Prime Minister and the number of people on there telling the useless eejit that he is wonderful and marvellous and doing a GREAT JOB is astounding. I imagine, just like Trump is now learning, that one day soon reality is going to intrude and that's going to hurt

    Anyone who compliments me is immediately marked as suspicious and I make certain that the cattle prod is charged and ready. Very very occasionally I feel that I earned that compliment and accept it politely. And no, I'm not a believer in positivity and other gushy claptrap. Reality is where it's at.

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