IKEA Croydon (FYI: that's a place in outer London, not a type of DIY cabinet) likes things in pairs, from chimneys to bork

IKEA may be the master of the flatpack and the neverending check-out queue but it seems to be struggling a bit with Windows 10 if this serving of Bork is anything to go by. "Not a good weekend for IKEA Croydon," observed our reader as he snapped screens at the store in various states of distress and unhappiness. At the …

[Simon Harris]

Predates Windows 95

I can’t claim anything quite that old, but I have bookcases from that shop that predate Windows 98.

After 23 years they still work and have only needed one re-install after a house renovation.

[MarkET]

Re: Predates Windows 95

Still have a PC running Windows 98 to drive a couple of Yahama DB50 XG synth modules. Boots faster than my new laptop.

[First Light]

Automatic Repair . . .

. . is what you're going to need for your IKEA crap. Their stuff often seems so fragile.

[EvaQ]

Croydon is a UK city, not an IKEA product

... I thought IKEA Croydon was an IKEA product, like IKEA Billy or IKEA TRÅDFRI.

Sorry. I'm not British.

[katrinab]

Re: Croydon is a UK city, not an IKEA product

Croydon is a district in south London, not a city.

[Steve Davies 3]

Re: Croydon is a UK city, not an IKEA product

Croydon is a Borough in South London, not a city.

TFIFY.

I'm old enough to remember the gasworks that used to be on one side of the road (where Sainsbury's is from memory) and the power station that burned the coke produced by the gasworks.

[AMBxx]

Re: Croydon is a UK city, not an IKEA product

They've tried for city status in the past. I think the Queen had a good laugh about it!

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: Croydon is a UK city, not an IKEA product

ObCroydonJoke:

"I called my dog 'Croydon'"

"Why?"

<slightly racist punchline censored>

(I lived in North Croydon, aka Thornton Heath, in the late 70's/early 80's. It was wonderfully cosmopolitan. I loved it)

[Adrian 4]

Re: Croydon is a UK city, not an IKEA product

If IKEA had a range of products named after London boroughs, what would they be ?

Croydon, due to a manufacturer of rubber products once popular in Woolworths, might be a bath plug.

Westminster might be a clock. Or a doorbell.

[DJV]

IKEA products named after London boroughs

Balham - a ball of ham on elastic for your dog to play with (£35, ham extra).

Camden - a large storage box to store old cameras in. Costs £50 (£75, if painted). Made of cardboard.

Hackney - a sharp chopping device for lowering the height of tall persons (£125, sharpening extra).

[katrinab]

Re: IKEA products named after London boroughs

Outside of London, most people would associate Hackney with the Hackney Carriage - black taxis you see in England & Scotland, possibly Northern Ireland, not Wales as far as I'm aware. So I think they would use it for their range of in-car products.

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: IKEA products named after London boroughs

> Balham - a ball of ham on elastic for your dog to play with (£35, ham extra).

An IKEA Balham should be a gateway. (Peter Sellars)

[AW-S]

Re: IKEA products named after London boroughs

Bal Ham. One of the first comedy records my father played to me as a child. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=74aK8w2910c

[Fruit and Nutcase]

Re: Croydon is a UK city, not an IKEA product

Kate Moss was born in Croydon

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kate_Moss

Coincidentally,

There was an IBM office not far from East Croydon station.

Liz Hurley was born in Basingstoke. There was an IBM office next to the station.

Both aforementioned ladies and IBM have vacated the respective towns

[Neil Barnes]

Conveniently

The recycle bins are close at hand...

[terrythetech]

"the sound of relationships ending"

I misread the first screen as "Let's finish setting up you divorce"

[Detective Emil]

Like a creepy uncle

Don't you just hate those matey messages from Windows 10? Where I live, I also have to put up with them tutoyer-ing and duzen-ing me.

[storner]

Installer bork

In the spirit of IKEA ("there is always one bit missing from the pack"): My guess is that the box only has one USB port, and the install media is still in it. So no way to attach mouse or keyboard to click "Continue".

[Simon Harris]

Re: Installer bork

To be fair, I’ve found IKEA to be pretty good at putting all the bits in the pack. Never had to ask for a spare part.

[Anonymous Custard]

Re: Installer bork

And in most of the stores, there's a set of racks/boxes near the customer service/returns bits that has a whole host of the kind of bits that are going to be missing or get broken, so you can just go and help yourself.

[TimMaher]

May I repeat my post from last week?

It should be “Bjork” or maybe Bjorn Bork.

Mine’s the one with the half-inch pencil in the pocket.

[Zippy´s Sausage Factory]

"IKEA Croydon (FYI: that's a place in outer London, not a type of DIY cabinet)"

I think you missed out the "yet" at the end of that sentence. I mean, there can't be thaty many placenames left they haven't already used, can there?

[Andy A]

Stupid Is as Stupid Does

Microsoft decided to force users to go through the "Out Of Box Experience", despite having gone through it when the OS was installed years ago.

There's an extra tick box hidden in the Settings, and a policy setting for those on domains, but that's no consolation for having the stupid screen forced on you as a surprise.

They also decided to force people to log on to Cortana with A MICROSOFT ACCOUNT of all things, despite the functionality being removed for all outside the USA. It is impossible to send "Feedback" about this, because to do so, you need to log on with A MICROSOFT ACCOUNT. :-(

[hoola]

Re: Stupid Is as Stupid Does

A bit like the early days of CD drives. I can clearly remember having one and carefully installing it in the huge tower case to find there was no way of making it do anything other than open an close.

The installation software for the CD drive was on a bloody CD. This was the days of manually configuring interrupts and all sorts of other horrific things just so that the sound card and CD could work at the same time.

[Stuart Castle]

Re: Stupid Is as Stupid Does

Ahh, the old days.. When I ended up with several bootable floppies all configured with various versions of MS and PC Dos, and several different CD Drivers, and a copy of MSCDEX.

Now, I don't even have an optical drive plugged in on my PC. When I upgraded my PC, having to route the SATA cable from the Blu Ray drive to the motherboard was a pain in the arse, and I couldn't remember the last time I'd actually used the drive, so left it unplugged.. Might try and sort it out one day.