back to article When you gaze long enough into the bork, the bork will gaze back into you

News reaches The Register that even those paragons of efficiency and rule-following, the Germans, are not immune to the curse of Bork. Spotted by reader and one-time Lester Haines collaborator Neil Barnes during a well earned break from autobahn-based travelling: something has befallen a restroom screen. bork germany Click …

  1. Hubert Cumberdale Silver badge

    That's a very odd form of bork. Quite curious as to how that would come about. Can't see how it would be a display issue (only part of the screen is slanty) – I can only assume it's an application issue. As an aside, personally, I find the idea of screens in toilets a bit weird. Although not as weird as cameras would be.*

    *And certainly not as weird as the thing they do in the US where a guy sort of hangs about and hands you paper towels while expecting you to pay for the privilege. Personally I'd pay money for him not to be there.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      It almost looks like the application was being maximised from being minimised, and the animation got stuck ...

    2. wwwd

      "... guy sort of hangs about and hands you paper towels..."

      Groom of the Kings Close Stool is not a job to be sniffed at.

    3. steviebuk Silver badge

      And the oddness of cubicle doors in America being either SUPER TINY (I'm 6ft 4) and/or have a massive gap in between each cube so people can see you going for a dump. Not forgetting the massive gap at the base of the door. "Its so people know if a cube is occupied". Well just look at the locked sign or maybe, gentle try the door.

      I hated that part of my visit. Way back in 2004, a visit to Northern Kentucky Uni (that was a mistake). Went into the loo in the Uni library. What the fuck was the point of even having cubicles. The door was so low you could stand at the urinal and look over the wall at anyone who was in there. It was awful. Lucky, back in the halls of resistant, the lobby area had a loo with a proper UK door on it. So I only ever used that in my unfortunate 2 weeks there :)

      If I remember right, O'Hare airport had tall doors but the weird gap. By that time I was going home so just tried to ignore it. I loved my UK loo when I got back. The need for privacy while doing a dump CANNOT be understated.

      For anyone interested, visit St Katherine's docks in London. At the Tower Hotel there is a nice bar. When you need the loo, go out the bar and use the ones on the 1st floor (same floor as the bar). They are heaven. Each cubicle is its own little room, amazing!

      1. WolfFan Silver badge

        I take it that you’re not a Congresscritter with a wide stance... Come back, Larry Craig, all is forgiven!

    4. sabroni Silver badge

      re: That's a very odd form of bork

      I thought it was implied in the article that it's crashed mid-transition. It was doing a fancy animation to slide the columns on and froze.

    5. Tom 7 Silver badge

      I wonder if it would be the placing of an electronic screen near a water source. A small ingress at the bottom could easily short out something.

      1. FlippingGerman

        "short something out"

        Speak for yourself...

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Perhaps the rules were translated from the original developed by the Philospophy Department at the University of Woolamaloo but rule 2 has be photoshopped out as it is no longer considered to be "appropriate" for modern society

  3. Blackjack Silver badge

    Why use a screen?

    Glass LCD displays and smartphones can hold the virus up to 28 days... hope no one is touching that thing.

    How many times do you need to change the instructions? For something that's basically gonna say the same thing forever a plastic sign not only will last longer, but be more hygienic.

    1. beep54

      Re: Why use a screen?

      Well, the money allocated for the bathrooms has to be spent somehow lest it is lost. I mean, if they're not going to check and/or clean them.....

    2. Stoneshop Silver badge

      Re: Why use a screen?

      How many times do you need to change the instructions?

      The last time I used[0] a public toilet, which was some time about a year ago[1], there were screens between the mirrors over the wash basins[2], espousing the virtues of proper hand washing, the care with which the managing company keeps an eye on having a sufficient amount of bog rolls available and in place, and inviting you to replenish the lost fluids and/or solids at nearby establishments.

      [0] Nearly couldn't, as the entrance gate only took coins or contactless payment. I have expressly demanded a bank card that does not possess that option, and I was 10c short on coins until I found one on the floor.

      [1] Because Progress they've probably morphed into something more interactive as well as intrusive in the meantime[3]

      [2] They were grander than mere sinks. Very much so.

      [3] May have been put on hold though due to low visitor numbers recently.

    3. skeptical i

      Re: Why use a screen?

      So that once the pandemic is "under control" (however this is defined), the hotel (or bar or retail store or other business) can advertise at you. Those ten seconds (or however long) that one stands at the sink are an opportunity not yet fully exploited.

  4. MJI Silver badge

    I once abused someone for

    Not washing their hands after a poo.

    Dirty bastard.

    Was in our Tescos as well.

    I hoped he would complain so I could shout out the dirty bastards poor hygene.

  5. wwwd

    I saw a sign in a University toilet that said "Please only flush toilet paper down this loo" and someone had written underneath "Where should I put my poos?"

    Not related, but I think about it often.

    1. GrumpenKraut Silver badge

      Student toilet had a sign "Please use the brush!".

      Some student scribbled "Nope. Paper is much better." below that.

  6. The Empress

    Just don't invade Poland

    That never ends well for anyone.

  7. Numen

    10:10 (or 1:50) is Happy Time!

    This is known as the "happy time." See? The hands seem to smile. You'll see this on almost every clock/watch/analog time/... ad to subliminally put you in a good mood about it.

    As opposed to the "sad time" of 4:40 (or 8:20). You'll likely never see that!

    1. Francis Boyle Silver badge

      If you make appropriate use of 4:20

      you'll never have to worry about how "sad" 4:40 is.

  8. Danny 2 Silver badge

    One bad Bork

    This Bork ruined it for all these Borks.

    According to columnist William Safire, the first published use of bork as a verb was possibly in The Atlanta Journal-Constitution of August 20, 1987, two months prior to the final vote: "Let's just hope something enduring results for the justice-to-be, like a new verb: Borked." Perhaps the best-known use of the verb to bork occurred in July 1991 at a conference of the National Organization for Women in New York City. Feminist Florynce Kennedy addressed the conference on the importance of defeating the nomination of Clarence Thomas to the U.S. Supreme Court, saying, "We're going to bork him. We're going to kill him politically ... This little creep, where did he come from?"

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