back to article Behold the Bloo Screen of Death: Bathroom borkage stops spray play

Windows pops up in the strangest of places. Sure, digital signage – been there, done that. But as something to stare at when one should be directing one's undercarriage? That's a new one. Spotted some time before the current restrictions were in force by eagle-eyed Register reader Tom, the Bloo Screen of Death (BSOD) has been …

  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Eww!

    Eww! Not just the thought of the splash back but that it might have a web cam.[*]

    [*] Although it would have to be pretty hi-res for mine to fill more than a couple of pixels.

    1. Geoffrey W

      Re: Eww!

      Not sure if I'm getting this bass akwards but it sounds as if you are boasting about how Small something or other is. Surely the higher res a screen is then the smaller the real world object occupying a few pixels?

  2. chivo243 Silver badge
    Pint

    F8 key?

    Fate? I wouldn't tempt it...

  3. Little Mouse

    Eugh.

    Maybe a Star Wars lightsaber game for the Luke Skywalkers out there?

    Or a drawing game. Literally piss art.

    1. EVP Bronze badge

      Re: Eugh.

      While seated, dumping depth charges to sink U-boats might be entertaining, too. Just watch out for the periscope...

  4. Kubla Cant Silver badge

    the facilities in a Southport pub, near Blackpool

    Are there many people who don't know where Southport is, but know where Blackpool is?

    1. Little Mouse

      Me, for one.

      Blackpool is famous in its own way.

      Southport? I've heard of it, but that's about it.

      1. Stuart Castle Silver badge

        Same here..

        I know where Blackpool is and am vaguely aware of Southport, but couldn't point it out on a map.

      2. heyrick Silver badge

        Me, for two.

        I've heard of Blackpool and might even manage to point to the right bit of the country (give or take a hundred miles).

        But Southport? Sounds like one of those forgettable places that line the coast between Portsmouth and Brighton... (special shout out to Bugger Bognor)

        1. jake Silver badge

          I would have thought that most ...

          ... of ElReg's UK-based commentards would know where the British Lawnmower Museum and Lock and Key World is located. Truly a monument to the greatness of Great Britain!

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      American here.

      Southport is in North Carolina. That's the only one I know about.

      Apparently there's another one in England, somewhere near Blackpool, which I have heard of and know is a town somewhere on the coast there.

      1. Someone Else Silver badge

        It's a street near Wrigley Field....

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Southport III

        Mason City, Iowa, USA has Southport Shopping center. The Pub has been closed a long time. No wait, that was Southbridge Mall. Still it's closed. But plenty of empty spaces in both if you want to open a new pub.

    3. MJI Silver badge

      All north of Birmingham

    4. Rob Daglish

      I can't say I've ever seen Southport being described as close to Blackpool before mind... Preston at a pinch, or Liverpool. Although I suppose they are both on the coast, so what do I know?

      1. Commswonk Silver badge

        A Pedant Writes...

        I can't say I've ever seen Southport being described as close to Blackpool before mind... Preston at a pinch, or Liverpool.

        Using "as the crow flies" measurements *:

        Southport to Preston: 15 miles

        Blackpool to Preston: 15 miles

        Southport to Liverpool: 16 miles

        Southport to Blackpool: 15 miles

        The big however is that in the case of Southport to Blackpool the Ribble Estuary gets in the way so by road the journey is probably about 28 miles; whether or not that qualifies the two as being "near" one another is debateable. Try it by rail and it's even further by quite a margin; bring your own refreshments...

        To put things another way, would anyone describe Heathrow Airport and the City of London (not "London") as being "close"? I certainly wouldn't because that distance is about 17 miles.

        * Other avian species are available.

        1. Stoneshop Silver badge
          Coat

          Re: A Pedant Writes...

          * Other avian species are available.

          Such as swallows?

          (the one with "How to recognise swallows from quite a long distance" in the pocket, plus a binocular)

          1. The Oncoming Scorn Silver badge
            Pint

            Re: A Pedant Writes...

            An European swallow, African swallows are not migratory.

    5. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      I once had someone assume that Southport was in the South of England. In their possible defence, they were a Saudi National (although it almost ended with me being flown to LHR rather than the closer MAN for a training course I was going on!)

    6. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Blackpool is a famous seaside town - well known for fresh air and fun!

      1. Geoffrey W

        Snarky! I rather like Blackpool and tend to judge others by how they view Blackpool. I've had some fish and chips there to die for. An old girlfriend, from the USA, said when I took her there "This is like mini Las Vegas!"

        Blackpool! Where everything is cheaper than it looks!

        And as for Southport...Southport desert is pretty neat. I'm told there's a sea somewhere on the other side of it, but my camel died of thirst before we got there.

        1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

          An old girlfriend, from the USA, said when I took her there "This is like mini Las Vegas!"

          That's a ... tacky ... endorsement :-)

  5. Just A Quick Comment

    I live in Southport - the one in England

    Which pub in Southport is this? I wish to visit before we all suffer from Lockdown (again).

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: I live in Southport - the one in England

      The last time I suffered from lockdown, it was a dodgy meal in a pub that fixed it.

    2. Muscleguy Silver badge

      Re: I live in Southport - the one in England

      You won’t get me inside a drinking establishment this side of a mass vaccination roll out with better than 85% uptake locally (Yes, I will get it).

      Yours a PhD Biologist who has had Covid, mildly, if fever hot enough to make me delirious is mild. My cellular immune system seems in fighting order. It detected and dealt with Covid pretty well. No cytokine storms in my lungs or anywhere else.

      How my system will react now I have antibody cells I’m not keen to find out thank you. Certainly not for a pint. Instead I’m gearing up to make my own. SNAFU on the ordering of a large pan big enough for a 15L boil and boiling a larger volume for brewing water. The one I ordered leaked copiously through the handle rivets when I test filled it with Dundee’s finest tap water.

      It got sent back same day, a very efficient returns process, no quibble. The rivets can be clearly seen to be not properly sealed. A clone of Wadworth’s finest 6X (I like amber ales) is first up. If the weather cools enough for lagering I will do a Dunkelweizen (Dark Wheat Beer). I like dark lagers and I like Weissbier so combining them seems a sensible idea. Perhaps a Stout or Porter if the weather stays mild.

      Since there is only me I will brew 15L brews. put 10L in barrel (such small barrels can be had) and put the rest in bottles drinking the draught and keeping the bottles for variation while i have other brews in barrel.

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    it "wasn't exactly the nicest of pubs," noted our correspondent

    The pub had a computer running in the toilets - that puts it in the top tier of classy as far as my locality goes.

    1. oiseau Silver badge
      WTF?

      Re: it "wasn't exactly the nicest of pubs," noted our correspondent

      ... pub had a computer running in the toilets

      What in heaven's name the fuck for?

      Either the salesman is a real whiz (sorry ...) or the pub's owner is a certified idiot.

      And I thought I had seen most everything.

      O.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: it "wasn't exactly the nicest of pubs," noted our correspondent

        Hack into it over wifi and have it display some pron. See whose aim you can spoil.

      2. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

        Re: it "wasn't exactly the nicest of pubs," noted our correspondent

        "And I thought I had seen most everything."

        A computer over a urinal in a pub toilet. Caption? "click to enlarge" Fnarr Fnarr!

  7. Blackjack Silver badge

    This used to be a joke...

    When the Simpsons had that "Everything has computer chips nowadays" moment it was supposed to be a joke. It even showed how bad it would be. Two decades and change later...

  8. Neil 32
    Pint

    No surprise...

    But Japan! Sega developed a thing called the Toylet.

    The Grauniad and other more tech-savvy outlets also have done articles on them. I remember reading about them before I went over there in 2012, but never saw any. Just search for "sega toylet" in your favourite seach engine!

    Beer, because!

  9. fidodogbreath Silver badge

    This gives new meaning to the phrase "streaming content."

  10. Boufin

    Video over IP?

    Or the converse...

    1. DJV Silver badge
      Coffee/keyboard

      Re: Video over IP?

      See icon...

  11. Commswonk Silver badge

    While I think about it...

    Marriott Edgar wrote:

    <cloggieaccent>

    There’s a famous seaside place called Blackpool,

    That’s noted for fresh-air and fun,

    And Mr and Mrs Ramsbottom

    Went there with young Albert, their son.

    A grand little lad was their Albert,

    All dressed in his best; quite a swell,

    With a stick with an ‘orse’s ‘ead ‘andle,

    The finest that Woolworth’s could sell.

    They didn’t think much to the ocean:

    The waves, they was fiddlin’ and small

    There was no wrecks and nobody drownded,

    ‘Fact, nothing to laugh at at all.

    Cont p94.

    </cloggieaccent>

    1. Kubla Cant Silver badge

      Re: While I think about it...

      Stanley Holloway's version is the classic.

      1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

        Re: While I think about it...

        If we're talking about Blackpool, I think this is more fun. Especially when you listen for all the double entendres :-)

  12. Roger Kynaston Bronze badge
    Flame

    Other use

    Could it play pr0n (when not suffering a BSOD)? The effects on hygeine may be interesting.

  13. Stoneshop Silver badge
    Windows

    Mind the puddle on your way out.

    Ah, the Internet of Tinkle

  14. Ramis101
    Joke

    That would explain....

    I'm Sending the Pissing email now ok!

  15. adam payne Silver badge

    Well obviously the Realtek driver couldn't handle everybody taking the piss out of it.

  16. Ken Moorhouse Silver badge

    Interface

    Whatch out for the nozzle interface mounted at head height on the device.

  17. skeptical i
    Devil

    "No thanks, Clippy, but the gent two spaces down may need assistance ...."

  18. Ken Moorhouse Silver badge

    A common problem with the older devices

    The prostate process hogs all the memory, leading to output problems.

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