back to article I AM ERROR: Tired of chewing up your RAM? Razer tells gamers where to stick its special gum for the RGB crowd

You fool. You absolute fool. Do you think you’re special? Do you think you’re hot? Your mind is a foggy Louisiana swamp. You’ve got all the focus of the 2019 Labour manifesto. And that is why you ... always ...lose. Fortunately, laptop brand Razr has the cure for what ails you. It's, er, chewing gum for gamers. Because - like …

  1. disgruntled yank Silver badge

    No idea about the flavor

    But maybe the motto could be "Men are from Mars, Gamers are from Wrigley."

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Soylent is nutritionally complete...

    Yes, especially good for getting all those Heavy Metals that aren't in a normal diet...

    1. Hans Neeson-Bumpsadese Silver badge

      Re: Soylent is nutritionally complete...

      Full of vegetable protein - I tried it once and my abiding memory that it tasted more like the soil that the vegetables had been grown in.

    2. chivo243 Silver badge
      Happy

      Re: Soylent is nutritionally complete...

      Like the ones in my teeth?

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Soylent is nutritionally complete...

      What heavy metals are you concerned about, that aren't found in abundance in even the most organic of vegetables?

      AFAICT Soylent has such low levels of Heavy Metals that one should probably take Motörhead supplements with every meal.

  3. Andy Non Silver badge

    Soylent

    "Soylent is a nutritionally complete meal replacement beverage."

    It should have everything the body needs as it is erm... made from bodies.

    (Soylent Green, if anyone remembers the film)

    1. Symon Silver badge
      Alert

      Re: Soylent

      "Soylent Green is people!"

      1. chivo243 Silver badge

        Re: Soylent

        Damn, I could smoke 4 or 5 of these a day! When Chuck Hest tried a ciggy in the "furniture's" flat...

  4. David Roberts
    Trollface

    The taste of victory!

    Which turns to ashes in your mouth.

    1. tony2heads
      Flame

      Re: The taste of victory!

      You should add the smell of victory -napalm

      icon- obvious

  5. Christopher Reeve's Horse Silver badge

    Consumables

    I think I'd rather eat their hardware.

    1. Dan 55 Silver badge

      Re: Consumables

      Don't eat the drivers that the keyboard tries to install when you plug it in, they'll give you acid indigestion.

  6. Flocke Kroes Silver badge

    Probably playing the wrong games, but ...

    Cherry bakewell and banana flavoured bubble gum.

  7. This post has been deleted by its author

  8. KittenHuffer Silver badge
    Paris Hilton

    I hear ....

    .... that they nearly launched a Gamer's Dummy, but then they realised that it wouls suck!

    -----------> Obviously!

  9. Aladdin Sane Silver badge

    What does Soylent taste like?

    It varies from person to person.

  10. Lee Mulcahy

    Which is it?

    Razr, Razer, Razor -- which is it?

  11. HildyJ Silver badge
    Devil

    Stupid millennials

    What happened to coffee and a smoke?

    It's always worked for me.

    1. quxinot Silver badge

      Re: Stupid millennials

      Have you not heard of beer?!

  12. Pascal Monett Silver badge

    Ok, now I get it

    From the linked article : "the energy drink market was valued at $53bn in 2018 and is expected to reach $86bn by 2026 ".

    So that explains why these companies waste their time making consumables that have nothing to do with their core business. They want a share of that $86bn business.

    I would have thought that what a gamer is interested in is the hottest possible hardware with the best possible cooling to get the highest framerates, then chugging a six-pack of Red Bull and going spastic on the mouse+keyboard combination. Gamers are focused, they don't need chewing gum to help.

  13. Simon Harris Silver badge

    When I saw gum and RAM in the headline...

    I thought it was going to be about Sinclair RAM Packs.

    1. Gazman

      Re: When I saw gum and RAM in the headline...

      @ Simon Harris

      Thanks muchly for making me feel a million bazillion years old with that reminder of home computing in the Model T era.

      1. Dan 55 Silver badge
        Happy

        Re: When I saw gum and RAM in the headline...

        Home computing in the Mr T era, surely?

  14. This post has been deleted by its author

  15. Trygve Henriksen

    There's already a chewing gum available for the super-caffeinated dorks that's always chasing framerate rather than original contents...

    Lotte's Black Black.

  16. Hugh Pumphrey

    It's time to ...

    Surely the right thing to chew while blasting e-baddies is bubble gum of some sort. As the mighty Duke put it "It's time to kick ass and chew bubble gum. And I'm fresh out of gum."

  17. Ex-Hippy

    Failure and Rage Quit

    That's my experience anyway...

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