^ what they should call it.
Microsoft has started a preview of automatic guest VM patching on Azure. Which sounds interesting, because while cloud operators take care of racking, stacking, power, cooling and other data centre drudgery, keeping the VMs you rent alive remains your problem. While this new service is automatic, it is not magical: it works …
If you find Windows patching onerous then I suggest you use Linux. If you are unable to then just design your systems to be failover tolerant and just manage it and quit your moaning. It's life just get on with it
If you choose Linux don't forget to keep up with the kernal patching, OS releases, plugin patching, application patching on that platform as well or just not bother and get what you deserve.
Either way shut up and get on with it.
Patching on Linux is at least simple - no reboots.
It's amazing that Microsoft hasn't figured out how to avoid regular reboots by now. Any Windows admin boasting of high uptime is admitting his servers are insecure. My production Linux servers all have over a year uptime generally (last reboot was datacentre maintenance related).